


A Drabble of Earth and Water

by WeirdDaydreamingFangirl



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anything goes - Freeform, Drabble Series, F/M, Misc - Freeform, but mostly romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-24 08:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 204
Words: 78,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7501389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/pseuds/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of unrelated drabbles for our favorite couple. Ranging from canon(ish) to AU, from request prompt to real life inspiration prompts. Anything as long as it's JB and it's shorter than 2 pages on word.</p><p>Please enjoy :3</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You're Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I decided that I didn't want to have separate works for drabbles (or anything below 2 pages on word) because it' like bringing a big bag for only one pencil lol. So I came up with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tormvnds asked: hey!! I just read your j/b one shots with jealous!jaime and i've been giggling to myself for about an hour honestly. could i maybe request some more jealous jaime/brienne and also jon/tormund?? both these ships are killing me slowly i need more fluff and your writing is cute im adsfhjk

Brienne expected sword fights.

She expected judging glances, whispers, and maybe that occasional body lust.

She hadn’t expected someone, least of all, Jaime, to make a big deal out of something innocent.

“Get your filthy hands of her,” Jaime spat.

Tormund had been only patting her back for a great job in the courtyard earlier. She didn’t see what was wrong with it. Brienne was actually glad someone, aside from Jaime, didn’t look at her as a mannish girl, but as a fighter.

“I was merely congratulating my lady for a good job. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that,” Tormund replied with a shrug, but his on his face was slight smirk. Brienne’s face just got redder.

“It doesn’t mean you filthy wildlings are allowed to touch a highborn lady unless permitted.”

Brienne clutched Jaime’s arm. She hoped he knew that he had gone too far. Wildlings were still people after all and they need them for what was to come.

“Jaime,” Brienne hissed. “Don’t-,”

But she heard a chair in front of her screech and she saw Jon rise.

“Lord Lannister,” he spoke. “Your help is undoubtedly invaluable but might I remind you that you are a guest at Castle Black and this is neutral ground. Tormund is just as important as you are.”

“Why Lord Snow are you in love?”  Jaime teased, not expecting it to work but the boy blushed.

Jaime was about to say something but Brienne smacked him in his armor. He just laughed.

“It’s just like you to get mad at me for defending your honor,” Jaime mumbled.

“He was merely congratulating me,” she hissed.

“Oh, wench, haven’t you learned anything from men?”

Brienne glared at him in offense.  Jaime knew Brienne wanted him to apologize. Jon’s slightly pink face said the same. He raised his hand and stump in defeat.

“I apologize,” Jaime said but his apology hinted a bit of sarcasm. “It was awfully rude of me to say what I said.” _Even if it’s all true,_ Jaime wanted to add but he wanted to stay alive. Jon and Brienne seemed to accept his apology. He gazed at Tormund who looked unreadable. Perhaps it was the bushy red mane.

“Jon,” Jaime spoke with surprising formality. “I’d like to share quarters with Lady Brienne.”

Brienne’s face heated up from beside him. Jon, too, seemed to be blushing again.

“W-whatever you or Lady Brienne do is none of my business,”

“Nothing is going on between us,” Brienne stuttered, almost unbelieving that she found her voice.

“No, there isn’t,” Jaime confirmed but something flashed in his face-disappointment, hope, she wasn’t sure- until he went back to his easy teasing smiles. “But I would like to keep a close eye on her. I can even sleep on the floor if it bothers, my lady.”

“Oh-uhm-alright,” Jon stuttered, his gaze flitting from Jaime to Brienne to Tormund- lingering slightly too long to the last one.

Brienne stormed off and Jaime immediately followed. She stopped at the courtyard and turned to Jaime.

“ Why did you do that,Jaime?” she almost yelled. “I’m with the women and I-,”

“Yes, Brienne,” he cut off. “I am aware of who you’re with and your capabilities but one can never be too careful.”

“Jaime,” she warned.

“Brienne,” he returned mockingly.

She just grunted. So it was Jaime who spoke, but more frantically.

“That wildling fellow wants to get in your breeches, Brienne.”

“So, what if he does?” Brienne was pissed. Jaime knew her. At least, she thought he did. He knew there’s nothing to worry about. She didn’t like his protection if it wasn’t obviously needed. “I can take him.”

“I know,” he whined. Jaime Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock, _whined._

“Then why-,”

Jaime groaned and strode closer to her. He grabbed her chin and planted his lips to hers. It wasn’t even those passionate kisses. He just simply touches his lips with hers.

“Because I want them to know you’re mine,” he said when he broke off.

Brienne just stared stupidly at him, wanting to protest that she wasn’t his or anyone’s. But she thought of what’s to come and she couldn’t find herself saying no to his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt was actually answered a month ago on my tumblr. I just thought I'd bring this here because why not. XD  
> I don't really know how to write Jon/Tormund tbh :P


	2. Sexy Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Prompt: Your back is distracting and oh gods I can’t hear anything the speaker is saying.

Brienne stands in front of a wooden door as she rummages her handbag for her keycard. Her room is at the end of the hallway that leads to a depression which comprises a large area for people waiting for the elevators- which is why she didn’t know of Jaime Lannister’s presence waiting nearby.

“Wench,” Jaime murmurs from behind her as he gently places his hands on her boyish waist and buries his nose in her short straw hair. Brienne almost jumps at his touch and was _this_ close to smacking him with her handbag and demonstrating some self-defense moves on him.

“Jaime, what are you doing?” Brienne whispers as he sniffs her hair.

“Gods, Brienne. You were sitting right in front of me the whole damn time,” Jaime breathes in her ear as he nips at her earlobe, eliciting a moan from her. “I couldn’t listen to a word the speaker was saying.”

Brienne wanted to roll her eyes, but instead, she sighs his name and stretches out her neck when Jaime nudges it. He kisses her pale, creamy neck. “You do know that we already had a specific seat and weren’t allowed to change.”

“I know,” Jaime mutters, lightly sinking his teeth on her neck. They should really stop it. Someone could see.

“Jaime, don’t you dare leave marks,” Brienne growls huskily instead. She could feel the rumble of his chuckle.

“But Bri,” he pleads, ignoring her. “You have to take care of it.”

Brienne doesn’t understand until he grinds his crotch against her buttocks.

“Oh,” Brienne’s voice seems to go an octave higher. “How long was that-,”

“The whole program,” he murmurs in her ear. “Your back was so distracting.”

“It’s just a back, Jaime,” Brienne says, finally rolling her eyes. “A manly back.”

“But it’s your back… and it’s a sexy back,” he hummed. “And now you have to take care of this.” Jaime grinds himself against her again and again.

Brienne’s heart beat wildly, feeling his hard cock against her backside over and over again. Her underwear is already damp and his grinding makes her want to feel his manhood in other places. Inside one place specifically.

Desperately, she opens her handbag again as Jaime’s hands begin to wander. She finds her keycard and slams it on the slot.

Immediately, she turns around and captures his lips as she yanks the door handle down to open the door.

The last thing she thinks of before grabbing her keycard and kicking the door close is a reminder to change seats.

**Author’s Note:  I was in this festival opening and my sort of crush was seated in front of me and I couldn’t help but gawk at his back. So, I decided to turn this into a short JB drabble. As much gawking as I did at his back, my mind was cluttered in JB smexy times XD JB > Sort of Crush XD The only thing other thing that was inspired in this is hugging from behind and burying face in hair and sniffing it lol. But I tend to do that with other people XD I’m so impressed that I was able to write this while walking around the exhibit after XD**

**REVIEWS ARE SEXY BACKS *Q* ~**


	3. Bare Red Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration Prompt: You’re having a wardrobe malfunction and I think you should know.

"Excuse me, miss."

Brienne was too busy to take notice of the person beside her on the bus but when she turned to her side, she almost blushed to see a handsome, golden-haired man in a fine suit looking at her with worried expression.

She almost jumped out of her seat when he leaned closer. She could almost feel his hot breath tickling her cheek.

“Your zipper is open.”

Brienne almost didn’t register his husky whisper until after a few seconds.

_Wait. Zipper?_

Suddenly, she fumbled to the back of her skirt and found that the zipper of her blue skirt was indeed wide open. As she zipped up the back of her skirt, she internally cursed at the Seven that of all days she had to be subject to humiliation, it had to be on the day of her job interview.  She could already feel her luck going downhill at that point. She stammered her thanks to the man beside her without looking him in the eye. _Surely, he understands why I don’t want to make eye contact with him._

“As much as I enjoyed staring at your fine ass in red, blue is definitely a good color on you,” he hummed, causing Brienne to finally look him in the eyes. He had such piercing green eyes flecked with gold. His gaze was hot on her and she could feel herself melt. Then, Brienne blushed as she remembered how long she had been standing earlier and rummaging through her purse- her usual nervous symptom- before taking a seat. The red he saw were shorts but it didn’t stop the higher rising of her body temperature. To lessen her embarrassment, she glared at the man in attempt to be intimidating. It must be a joke after all  because she isn’t really attractive.

“I’m just being honest,” the man shrugged, tearing his gaze from her. “It goes well with your astonishing eyes.”

Brienne wanted to retort but then the bus was on her stop. She felt a huge relief that they would go their separate ways, never see each other again, and generally forget what happened when they move on to their different lives.

Then, he stood up with her.

Then, he headed the same direction as her.

“Are you following me?” she asked when she reached the parking lot of the building.

The man merely snorted. “You wish. I work here.”

Suddenly, her blood ran cold- the blonde hair, green eyes. But he said the name as soon as she thought it.

“Jaime Lannister, head of Human Resources,” he said as he reached his hand out for Brienne to shake. She gave it a quick shake. “You probably didn’t recognize me taking the bus but alas, my car broke down and I was going to run late.” Suddenly, he looked at her appreciatively with a smirk. “Can’t say I’ve seen you around before, though. Are you applying to be head of training and development?”

Brienne only nodded at that.

“Good. We could use a fine young woman such as yourself in the company,” Mr. Lannister said with a wink. Brienne had to struggle not to roll her eyes at her possible future boss.

“I’d rather we take it to your office, Mr. Lannister,” she found herself speak, but his perfectly raised golden brow is crumbling the little resolve she has.

“Office? Sounds like a _fine_ idea,” Mr. Lannister rumbled.

“Oh, you know what I mean,” Brienne exclaimed.

“Of course I do,” the Lannister replied with a chuckle. “Miss?”

“Tarth,” she replied curtly. “Brienne Tarth.”

“Brienne…” he said her name as if trying a new flavor. “Lovely name.”

“I-I’d like a fair interview, ser, if you don’t mind,” she found herself speaking. “A proper due process.”

Mr. Lannister laughed. With all the things he said, there’s something welcoming about this.

“You are indeed something, Brienne. Most women would like handsome men to give them a position in the company easily.”

“I’m not most women,” she deadpanned.

“Indeed,” he mused. “There’s no one quite like you,” he said then added. “Just go to the front desk and give out your name and wait until you’re called. You’ll be given instructions as to how to get to my office.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lannister,” she sighed in relief.

“No,” he hummed. “Thank _you_ , Ms. Tarth, for that show on the bus.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This legit happened to me last year, except it’s worse because I ride a jeepney and not a bus so I have to bend over to get to a seat and the available was on the farthest end and I only realized that my zipper was open when I sat down. XD I wore a blue skirt and red shorts. Lol I wrote this because I couldn’t hear anything in math class. Oh whale XD


	4. Eye Fucking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt (sorta): Eye fucking as an Olympic sport

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So….  
> Dear JB Forum,  
> I hate you guys.  
> …  
> I’M KIDDING IT’S BEEN 84 YEARS (like a days ahahha) SINCE I WENT ON THE FORUMS AND I MISS ALL MY SENPAIS AND READING FANFICS AS WELL. If I could gift it, I’d gift this fic to all my JB forum senpais and my fave fic writers because the hiatus is long and full of specs and fic.  
> Dunno if someone actually wrote this sort of prompt as a fic. It’s been like a week (been a week when I wrote this), I think, since it was discussed but I hope you enjoy this crack prompt I ripped off from the forum. XD

 

_Brienne? A woman?_

Jaime almost laughed at the creature before him. Through his sunglasses, he could see the wench was homely. She had a wide pale freckly face that looked mannish. Her broken nose, swollen lips and scarred cheek even worsened her features.

 _This is going to be too easy_ , he mused. Frankly, Jaime thought the competition this year was quite… boring. They were all the same pretty dumb girls they throw at him. But _this_ was something. Jaime would have felt insulted that this ugly woman was in the finals but he found her fascinating.

The referee signaled them to close their eyes and take off their glasses.

“One… two…”

At the sound of the whistle, Jaime’s eyes shot open.

He almost came right there when he was eye to eye with the brightest of sapphires.

“Ooohh,” Jaime could hear the announcer. “Looks like Jaime finally met his match.”

The shock must have shown in his face, so he makes his expression passive- almost bored.

As the announcer went on about how it was Brienne’s first time to enter this Westelympics and her tough journey in the competition, Jaime could feel himself falter. He felt as if he was diving into a hidden pool of the clearest water and immersing himself in the peace and tranquility of this secret paradise. His previous competitors all looked at him with lust, but Brienne’s eyes held innocence, shyness and curiosity, a vibe which he never think he’d ever receive from a woman.

Feeling his cock stir, Jaime crossed his legs.

He had to win. But even if those eyes had looked at him with just pure lust, she’d still mow down all other competition. He had never seen this blue anywhere.

Jaime’s breathing became labored. He began squirming in his seat and moaned. His thighs rubbed together, attempting to sate the growing erection between them.

He came and Jaime knew he was lost.

There was a momentary silence that swept across the field.

Jaime Lannister, the gold medalist in eye fucking for five straight years, was beaten by this beast.

Then the cheers went off.

Jaime looked at the wench. She sure was homely, but Jaime was beginning to become quite fond of that homeliness. Her pale freckly face was red as raspberries and her plump lips breathed harshly as if she ran a marathon. _As if they actually fucked._ But her eyes stayed the same, only they sparkled more with elation and shock. She wasn’t looking at him at all but he found himself transfixed at her cerulean orbs almost just as much as they did directly staring at her.

“What an amazing record!” the announcer exclaimed. “Tarth just displayed an all new Eye Fucking Record beating Lannister, the five year consecutive champion of this event. This is indeed a historic day in sports.”

 _Brienne beat me in the all-time records, as well?_ Jaime wanted to be surprised, but he wasn’t really. Those eyes of hers were like some woven spell that kept him staring forever.

Suddenly, their eyes met again and Jaime was motionless. _Damn those spell-binding eyes!_

After what seemed ages, Jaime realized they had to do the mandatory handshake.

He found warmth and comfort as her large hands clutched his own, and he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Suddenly, he pulled her to him so his mouth was inches near her ear. Brienne was only a bit taller than him and she slouched so it was easy for him.

“You and me on Wednesday, seven pm, at the Red Viper. The media should be focused on the other sports by then.”

Brienne pulled away immediately-Jaime whimpering slightly at the loss of touch- and her shimmering eyes dimmed with doubt.

“It’s to your victory, Brienne,” he simply replied but on the inside, he wanted to demand staring at those eyes more. “My treat.”

As they were separated for the press conference, they turned to look at each other. Jaime winked at her and made a mental note to have his publicist give her publicist his number.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know what this is to be honest. I’ve just been very stressed this week and when my teacher gave us a three-day extension on our project, I decided to write this short drabble during a party cause I’m asocial like that lol. (Whoops I have like 2-3 more fics to write hahahahahahahha)
> 
> Also, I hope it was very obvious that Brienne almost came but Jaime is a weakling for innocence and sapphire eyes so he came first and even quicker than all of the competition hahahhaha.
> 
> Well, I have to get back to my project. *cries because it's been days since I read fanfics* Reviews turn me on lol jk but they’re the sapphire eyes of my Jaime


	5. Westemon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snatched from otpprompts on tumblr:  
> Imagine Person A walking around looking at their phone. They get to Person B and aim the camera towards Person B’s chest/groin with a confident smirk. Person B is close to slapping them. They ask Person A “What the hell are you doing?” Person B replies with, “Sorry, but there is a PIKACHU ON YOUR TIT/DICK AND I MUST CATCH IT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I took my own spin off this because it's been a while since I saw that prompt hahaha
> 
> EDIT: 1/3 (To be a 3-part drabble series)

“Don’t move, wench.”

Brienne immediately stopped jogging. She was about to ask why when a set of footsteps came pattering on the pavement and caught her attention.

“Come on, Uncle Jaime!” his eight-year-old nephew, Tommen, who bounced into view, cried. “You almost had it.”

No sooner had Tommen clutched at his Uncle Jaime’s shirt, did ten-year-old Myrcella catch up with them.

“Did you get it?” she asked, almost out of breath.

“Wait… not ye- Agh! I just lost one!” Jaime replied to his niece.

Brienne wondered what they were doing, until she noticed that Jaime was pointing his phone at her… lower area. She could feel her face grow hot.

“Jaime!” she screeched. “What are you-!”

Brienne began to stride forward but the three yelled in chorus to stay put.

“Jaime!” Brienne exclaimed. “Are you- This is _not_ an appropriate activity for children.”

“Please. Not yet,” the little boy pleaded. “We’ve been looking for ages.”

Brienne knew Jaime was an arrogant asshole but she never thought he would ever teach his own nephew and niece to be a pervert. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She moved her legs forward despite the beginning of protests but then the three cheered loudly.

“You better delete that,” Brienne growled, grabbing Jaime’s phone.

“You can’t delete Leonin,” Myrcella whined, clutching the hem of her sweaty tank top. “We’ve been searching for one for aaaaaaaaaages.”

“Leoni-” Brienne looked at Jaime’s phone screen and found a strange lion cartoon on screen.

“Have you been living under a rock, wench?” Jaime teased, snatching his phone back. Brienne glared at him for the use of the moniker in front of children. “It’s Westemon Go. It’s the latest rage.”

Brienne snorted. “Like you’d know about it if it weren’t for the kids, you old man.” She has heard of Westemon Go but was never interested in it, so she didn’t know the mechanics or what the game even looks like.

Jaime raised his brow in challenge. “Why these kids make me feel young, wench. You’re the prude.”

“I _so_ know what Westemon Go is!” Brienne huffed, crossing her arms. “I just don’t care.”

“That’s cause you’re an old maid,” Jaime retorted.

Brienne opened her mouth as if to say something but was running out of quips. Luckily, Tommen interrupted their verbal spar.

“Uncle Jaime, why do you and Ms. Brienne keep on fighting?” the innocent boy asked, with his big blue eyes shining with curiosity.

Jaime tried to speak but Myrcella interrupted. “That’s cause they’re in love and are gonna get married.”

Brienne didn’t even look at Jaime and tried to protest but Tommen gasped so loudly. “You mean they will have babies and we get little cousins to play with.”

At that, Jaime burst out laughing while Brienne was trying to tell the boy that they weren’t even dating.

“Why don’t we get down to giving them little cousins, hm, wench?” Jaime snickered, but Brienne slapped him hard on the arm. “This is your fault,” she hissed. “Tell them we’re not getting married.”

“So are you telling me I don’t have a chance?” Jaime whimpered and oddly enough, his pout was making Brienne’s heart pound.

“Ms. Brienne! Ms. Brienne!” Myrcella bounced excitedly. “You should join us for pancakes.”

Tommen joined in. “Can your wife join us for pancakes, Uncle Jaime?”

Jaime had a mischievous glint in his eyes then Brienne doused it with an elbow to his chest. She couldn’t help but curl her lip at the wheezing sound he made.

“Tommen, Myrcella,” Jaime kneeled to their height and spoke in an almost fatherly tone that made Brienne’s heart melt. “She’s not my wife. At least not yet,” And Jaime earned a smack in the back. He wheezed a laugh and then turned to his nephew and niece again. “Alright. She’s just my neighbor but… Brienne…” He turned his green gaze toward Brienne. “Would you love to join us for pancakes? For your troubles.”

Brienne could’ve told this infuriating man to piss off.

“Yes.”

The children screamed in delight and each child dragged one of them each toward the general direction of Hotpie’s diner.

As Myrcella was pulling Brienne forward and chattered happily about Hotpie’s pancakes, Brienne almost ran out of breath keeping up with the girl. _If I took them out for Westemon Go, I wouldn’t need my morning jogs anymore._

“Hey, wench.” Brienne’s head swiveled to the side and found a smirking Jaime. “You know we could’ve caught the Westemon whether or not you moved.”

Before Brienne could grab him by the collar, Jaime commanded Tommen to run faster.

“Nice legs by the way,” Jaime shouted ahead of her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made my own take in this because I’m not sure how to play the game so I’ll get to create the rules myself. Hahaha I do love Pokemon though as an eleven-year-old. I just have a shit phone so I can’t download it OTL
> 
> I literally just wrote this in an hour because another JB Pokemon Go fic inspired me to remember that otp prompt I read on tumblr hahaahha
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this and I’m as squealing as Tommen and Myrcella when I get reviews. :P <3 <3


	6. Gotta Catch You Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Westemon- 2/3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I couldn’t help it… also, we were having our intramurals and I couldn’t care less about basketball so I *technically* had a lot of free time. XD Literally just wrote this (and part 3) this morning… on paper. XD

Tommen and Myrcella had finished their pancakes quickly and asked their uncle if they could sit on the next table to have their trainer battle. Jaime let them, adding that they make sure to stay there, before turning to Brienne who’s shoving a forkful of blueberry pancakes in her mouth.

“So, how have you come taking your niece and nephew under your care?”

Jaime felt a little panic within him but he didn’t want to worry Brienne so he gave her a smile. It must have shown though because Brienne made a small whimper.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be intrusive,” she added with genuine apology on her face. Jaime could have shut down the topic completely but something in his chest made him want to talk.

“My twin sister, Cersei, had mental issues,” Jaime began- nonchalantly as if he were talking about the weather. “I’ve always been taking care of her and coaxing her back to reality during her bad days, until a man, Robert, came. They married and had three kids. He had kept her sane, until he died in an accident when their children were young. She was still strong but she sometimes had episodes and I often had to come over and babysit the kids and watch over her as well.” Jaime took a shaky breath before continuing. “Then, her eldest, Joff, was taken by illness last year. Cersei couldn’t handle it. So she hung herself out of despair.”

“Jaime,” Brienne said as she placed her hand gently over his and it sent Jaime’s heart racing. “If it’s too much for you, you don’t have to tell me.”

Jaime did a deep breath before putting on a smile again. He shook his head.

“I’m fine, and I trust you, Brienne.” The sound of her name put a flicker of surprise in Brienne’s eyes, before worry took over again. She stayed silent and it signaled Jaime to go on. “Everything happened so fast that I hadn’t had time to process anything. I didn’t want the kids to see their mother hanging so I had to agonizingly wait for the police to show up. It was quickly concluded as a suicide but the investigation was still hard on the family. And afterwards, Tommen and Myrcella were all that mattered.”

“You love your family very much,” she noted with a fond smile-something Jaime hadn’t really seen from her until now- as her hand clasped his even tighter.

“With a mentally unstable sister and a dwarf brother, you had to step up as the eldest. Though my _little_ brother had been better at holding out on his own in the later years…” Jaime chuckled weakly at his poor attempt of a joke.

“I trust that’s why you haven’t married?” Brienne asked innocently. Jaime’s eyes twinkled with mischief when she said that but he chose to answer her question truthfully.

“Partly, I suppose. But it’s mostly due to the fact that everyone I’ve tried dating is either dull or trying too hard to please me. It’s only my looks they’re after,” he answered in dismay.

“They don’t know you’re actually an annoying whiny man-child,” Brienne teased him.

“Ouch! That’s harsh, wench,” he said in exaggerated disappointment.  “And here I was telling you my sob story.”

Brienne rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “But you do have a fierce devotion to your family. That’s a good find. Even if your face looked like it had been run over… thrice… your family man qualities would _definitely_ make me want to date you.”

Immediately, Jaime’s eyes sparkled at the same time Brienne’s eyes widened in shock.

“Have you been seeing anyone?” Jaime suddenly blurted out.

“N-no,” Brienne said, as her face bloomed into a red shade. “I’ve gone on a few dates but I didn’t really like any of them.”

“Boring?” he wondered.

“Conquest,” she replied. “They seem just like those idiots who wagered for my maidenhead in college.”

“For real?” Jaime was genuinely shocked. Sure, Brienne was fun to mock but that’s crossing the line, even for Jaime. “Well that sucks that they can’t see a strong funny well-spoken kickass who’s also gentle, kind-hearted and has legs that go on for miles.”

Before Brienne could even blush harder, the children were screaming as they made their way back to them. Myrcella climbed on Jaime’s lap, hugging Jaime while making faces at Tommen. The other child, who was sobbing hard, decided to climb on Brienne’s lap. Brienne looked at Jaime in silent plea and Jaime shrugged. There was no getting Tommen off you until he calmed down. The boy was crying incoherent things about “losing” and “not having the rare Leonin”.  Brienne’s shirt was soaked, but she slowly rubbed Tommen’s back, telling him about how it’s okay to lose sometimes.

“Don’t be a baby, Tommen,” Myrcella scoffed. “You catch so much Westemon but you never even picked one to train to be strong.”

“But I want Leonin!” Tommen cried.

At that, Jaime glanced again at Brienne who was now repeatedly stroking Tommen’s hair and whispering several reassurances. The boy was slowly, but surely, calming down. Suddenly, he realized that he finally found the rare Westemon- the Leonin- of his life.

And he wants to catch it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Isola_Caramella for encouraging me to continue as well. :D Also, the title of this chapter is a play on "Gotta Catch Them All" but Jaime only wants to catch one so yeah XD *coughs awkwardly* Part 3 should be up tomorrow ^_^
> 
> Reviews are my Leonins Wuut XD ~


	7. I Choose You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Westemon- 3/3: Set three years later…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I love Isola-Caramella. Here you go my sweet child.~

 

“You got this Uncle Jaime,” Myrcella groaned as she massaged her uncle’s tense shoulders.

“And you wanted to do this in front of a crowd,” Tyrion snickered from beside him and Jaime lightly kneed the small man.

“I could kick you both out right now, you ungrateful brats,” Jaime growled. Tyrion only chuckled and Myrcella rolled her eyes.

“But you love us,” Myrcella snapped. Jaime and Tyrion couldn’t help but remember Cersei. “Besides, Tommen won’t really be of help if it’s just you both.” Tommen made a noise of protest but Myrcella ignored him and went on. “ _And_ you owe us also for the many times at helping woo your lady love.”

Jaime could hear the tease at the last two words. “She’ll kill you if you call her that.”

“She loves me more than she loves you,” Myrcella retaliated. “So I’m safe.”

“Where did you even get that sassy diva attitude, young lady?” Jaime knew from Cersei but he couldn’t help asking.

“You,” she deadpanned.

Jaime gasped. He didn’t notice Tyrion holding his laughter. “I am _not_ a sassy diva,” Jaime protested.

“Yes, you are,” Tyrion pointed out.

“This is just nerves,” Jaime insisted. “And really, quit it or I’ll disown-” but his sentence went unfinished as he heard the front door open.

“Well and good father but- _oh_ ,” everyone heard Brienne say from the living room. “Father what is- Is this a Leonin?”

Jaime knew that Selwyn had given her the lion-like plushie.

“Go ahead, Brienne,” Jaime could hear Selwyn say and his heart swelled with joy hearing the man say that.

Brienne’s footsteps were slow. Jaime could imagine her freckly legs carefully treading on the blue winter rose petals flanked by warm, soft-glowing series lights and Westemon figures like soldiers guarding a royal.

“Thank you again, Tommen, for letting me borrow the figurines,” Jaime whispered.

“You’re cheap, Uncle Jaime,” Myrcella snorted.

“It’s called _practical_ , Myrcella,” Jaime hissed. “Just like…”

Then, Brienne entered the room, clutching Leonin to her chest. Jaime felt overdressed with the suit while his girlfriend was wearing an oversized shirt and shorts. _Minor things_ , Jaime assured himself. Brienne looked ready to melt there and then, but she braved it, awkwardly walking toward him in deliberate steps. The two barely noticed Selwyn lumber in the room and leaning against the wall. When Brienne was finally in front of him, he knelt in one smooth motion. Jaime silently thanked the Seven for this small feat.

“On this day, three years ago, I could still recall your long freckly legs through the lens of my Westemon Go camera.” At that, Brienne gave him a light playful kick in the side but Jaime allowed himself a short rumbling laugh before continuing. “I thought it appropriate that I made this the proposal theme. I even bought this Leonin plushie for you although with the events that day, Leonin underwear might have been more fitting...”

“Jaime…” “Uncle…” Everyone else scolded Jaime.

“Right, sorry, nerves,” Jaime mumbled, then, fished out something from his jacket pocket. It was a ball about the size of his palm with red on top, white at the bottom. The sphere was divided by a black band joined by a white circle. It was a Westeball used to capture Westemon. Jaime held it out to her.

“Some say that I have captured the hearts of many women,” Jaime began, looking up at her shining blue eyes. “But only you have managed to capture mine. And I swore that day that I’d capture yours as well.” Jaime cleared his throat. “When I did, we _both_ trained our love to keep on leveling up. I think now, it’s time for the relationship to evolve.”

Jaime clicked the middle white circle and Brienne gasped. He couldn’t see it from his angle but he knew what was inside. It was a simple silver ring that twisted at its meeting point to hold its single sapphire stone. Brienne was in near tears.

“Brienne, my lady love, my Leonin,” Jaime spoke with great passion. “I choose you, to spend the rest of my life with.”

Everyone held their breath, waiting for an answer, though they knew it.

“I choose you, as well, Jaime.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sappy. HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA Well, I think that’s all my creative energy can give me for this Westemon Go AU. It’s short but I hope you’re fine with it Isola_Caramella… and everyone else who secretly wanted this continued. :D
> 
> I also secretly wanna be a fandom theme party organizer so this is basically my frustration at my lack of organizational skills to be an event planner hahahahahaha
> 
> Will you… choose to leave a review? It’s not a grand proposal but it’s a great way to feel your love ;P


	8. Not the Good Morning I Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…he left his tail and went off with a woman … We’ve had no further word of him.”
> 
> But where had Jaime and Brienne gone off to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or the reason GRRM hasn’t finished The Winds of Winter ;) This is probably slightly ooc but whatever.

 

Jaime’s one remaining hand shook as he slowly slipped his hand on her thighs and past her nightgown. Brienne gave a sound that might be a moan. _So far so good._ When he reached the hem of her leggings, he toyed with its stretchable hem for a while. _Savoring the moment is what it said._ Then, he yanked the leggings down along with the brightly colored smallclothes he knew she wore. Immediately, Brienne tensed and Jaime took it as a sign that he’s doing something right.

Until all the air from his lungs had been sucked out.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jaime?” she screeched, already accustoming herself to the speech of that strange world just as he had.

Jaime had fallen face first on Brienne’s stomach before she kicked him off. He ended up on his back.

“That was _not_ the good morning I expected,” Jaime replied in a strangled groan, rubbing the sore spot on his chest where she had just kicked him.

“Seven, save me,” Brienne hissed before screaming. “Jaime Lannister, are you _naked_?!”

“Come on, wench, it’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked,” Jaime refuted.

“Well you weren’t exactly above me and trying to rip my clothes off that time,” she snapped.

Jaime groaned in frustration. “What happened to, ‘ _Brienne hummed at his touch, squirming a little in retaliation like the warrior she is. But when she realized it was Jaime, she mumbled a sultry yet sweet ‘good morning’ as she spread her legs and allowing Jaime to bury his mouth into her cunt-_ ”

And a pillow landed on his face.

“Why the seven hells would you think I’d _ever_ do that?” He could hear Brienne growl. Jaime took the pillow off his face as he sat up. Brienne was already up as well but her body was huddled beneath the thick blanket.

Jaime shrugged. “I just thought the real you would respond the same as well, since the fanfiction nailed my character.”

Then, Jaime froze. _I’m caught._

It all seemed so far away now- finding Sansa Stark, a bright flash of light, the odd world they found themselves in, the trusting girl with the thick shirt cloak, _their_ unfinished books, the advanced machinery of that world, their _TV show_ , the _internet_ …

Jaime had found out through the internet that Brienne had been lying about finding Sansa. He didn’t talk to her for almost a fortnight. It seemed to sadden the trusting girl but she didn’t comment. He had only spoken to Brienne again when he heard her scream. At first, he had thought it was an attacker, but to his relief and annoyance, Brienne was only staring at the… _laptop._

“Jaime, don’t look,” Brienne had begged but he was still angry at her, so he ignored her plea. When he looked at the screen, however, Jaime had genuinely laughed, for the first time in a long while. There was a sort of painting of what was supposedly them- naked and in a _compromising_ position. Below it was an accompanying story and although Jaime found it hard, he read the whole tale anyway. Needless to say, the art did _not_ give justice to its _highly creative_ contents. Brienne explained that the trusting girl always talked about fandoms and ships that wasn’t a boat and she got curious. Jaime had laughed once more and Brienne furiously blushed. After scouring two or three more, Jaime and Brienne had both agreed that fandoms are stupid and disgusting.

At least that’s what Jaime told Brienne.

But whenever it was his turn to use the laptop, he was secretly scouring for fanfiction. From those stories, he had learned many things about many people, about this world (since there were stories about him living in Westeros in a distant future that’s similar to the world they found themselves in), but mostly, there were many things he learned about himself. Even though a lot of these stories were ridiculous or inaccurate about certain information, he found himself enjoying them. He even found himself forgiving Brienne because the stories made him understand.

Though he still would never admit to her how much he enjoyed reading the fanfiction where he was bedding her.  In fact, those were his favorites. But he didn’t want to let her know in fear that she might grow angry with her, which was stupid since he was prowling over her naked and just tried to ‘ _bury his mouth into her cunt’_ , but that fanfiction really did sound believable.

Jaime thought of all that in a flash while he watched out Brienne’s reaction, but her expression remained the same as if oblivious to what he just said.

“That’s because,” she began. “They were married in that fanfic.”

At that, Brienne must have realized what their conversation was about because her hands flew to her mouth and Jaime’s eyes twinkled in mirth.

“Jaime…” she warned, her face turning Lannister crimson. “… I swear to the seven if you so much as move or _say_ anything, you _will_ be completely handless.”

“Oh,” Jaime replied in mock horror. “But we’ll never get to do chapter five, where my hand-”

“Shut up!”

 _I don’t ever want to_ leave, Jaime thought as he continued to tease Brienne who was poorly attempting to defend herself. It wasn’t just because Catelyn… Lady Stoneheart… wanted him dead. Jaime wanted to begin his life anew, and he wanted to share it with his sweet wench. Fanfiction made him see that Brienne was not only the Maid he believed Cersei to be, but the Warrior he wanted to be as well. Brienne was the one he truly ever wanted in his heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOMEONE FIND THE FANGIRL LIVING ALONE IN A SMALL APARTMENT THAT HAS SUMMONED BRIENNE AND JAIME AND BRING THE TWO BACK TO WESTEROS SO GEORGE CAN FINISH WINDS OF WINTER ALREADY XD Okay in case it wasn’t obvious, JB disappeared off the face of Westeros because they got transported to our world, specifically into the apartment of a fangirl with a hoodie and they’ve been trapped in this world for a while. The fangirl is hiding them and keeping them occupied by teaching them how to use a laptop and internet. Why the fangirl trusts them… I don’t know. Maybe she summoned them here? :P
> 
> This was brought about because of a comment on a JB post on Facebook of a black and white simple cartoon of JB finding fanfics and Brienne is freaking out while Jaime is like “pfft, as if I’ll ever…” but he’s secretly enjoying fanfic. ;) If those fanart sound familiar, do link me if you know the original source because the commenter has no idea where she got it and I kinda wanna see the original thing and maybe there’s more of it XD
> 
> Pwease weeview!~ Jaime also leaves reviews on the fics he reads hahahha jk but I would love a review :3


	9. Starburst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, Jaime finds himself consumed by the emptiness the darkness brings.  
> But he finds himself a new reason to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ON A ROLL!!!! Also, I’m sorry ;-;

The flames cast a strange glow on the black and red ripples on the blade Jaime is propping on the stone floor.

 _It would be quick if I do it right_ , Jaime thinks as he contemplates on where the Valyrian steel should end up.

During the day, Jaime is his usual arrogant self but with lordship duties now; settling disputes from small squabbling Houses and peasants alike, checking rebuilding progress around Casterly Rock, having meetings, examining and signing documents- just to name a few. But little do they know how much Jaime has to forcibly drag himself out of bed each morning. He truly has been doing a fine job being a lord- better than he imagined.

Yet the darkness reminds him of emptiness.

Every night, he takes Oathkeeper off its usual spot at the head of his bed. It’s hung on brass knobs screwed onto a wooden shield painted with Tarth’s sigil- a quartered azure and rose with crescents and starbursts- in memory of its original owner. Then, he sits on his chair by the fire and thinks of her, and the life they could've had.

It has been years since Jaime had cried over her. It’s as if there was a famine inside him. He just feels dry and barren.

 _I should just end this_ , he thinks. _But she will never forgive me._ He imagines her haunting him-coming to him in a hazy apparition, with her thick mouth in a disapproving grimace. Amusingly, Jaime considers shirking from his lordship responsibilities if only he could see her stern look again, even as a smoky specter, but he knew it couldn’t be.

Jaime sighs. _I have to live, for Casterly Rock, for her honor_.

Suddenly, Jaime hears a creak from the door and soft footsteps padding toward him. Usually, he would flinch at the slightest of sound, but this he has grown accustomed to over the years.

When the footfalls cease just the behind his chair, Jaime feels the large wave of guilt at the thoughts of ending his life.

“Come here, Brienne,” he says with much gentleness despite his exhaustion. The footsteps sound once more and he places Oathkeeper far enough to let a little figure to scramble safely onto his lap. She buries her face into his chest and he can feel her hot tears soaking through his nightclothes.

“Another nightmare, little starburst?” Jaime asks the child as he strokes her golden blonde hair with his stump.

“You were dead,” she croaks. “I saw your body on the ground with Oathkeeper through your belly.” Jaime froze for a moment. “Then I saw your ghost, and mother’s as well. At least in my dream I think it was her. She had blonde hair and blue eyes- like everyone says.” At that, the child turns her head up at him. The runny nose and face is definitely his but her lips, her freckles, and her eyes are hers. Right now though, those sapphire eyes are rimmed in red. Jaime’s heart clenches at the sight of how devastated those innocent eyes look.

“I thought we were finally going to be together,” she whimpers with such heartbreak Jaime can feel his eyes grow moist as well. “-as a complete family- but you both turned away and left.”

Shame hit Jaime worse than any blow he had received in the field. He had been thinking about ending his pain and joining her but he didn’t even spare a thought for his daughter- _their_ daughter. He wraps his armless hand around his little girl and plants a long lingering kiss on her forehead.

“I will always be there for you as best as I can, little starburst,” he whispers to her. He cannot be always there for her but seeing his little girl shaking at the thought of being left parentless gave Jaime a newfound promise of life.

It seems to calm her down and she sat down on his lap properly, facing away from him and to the fire. She is quiet for a while until she hesitantly points at the sword in his left hand.

“Oathkeeper was mother’s right?” she asks almost in a whisper, as if afraid of saying something wrong. Until his daughter spoke of the sword, Jaime didn’t realize how white his knuckles had turned from gripping the lion hilt too hard. He softens his clutch and holds the blade in front of her but it is distanced away for her safety.

“Yes,” Jaime replies proudly. “Have I told you that this sword bonded your mother and me?”

His daughter turns to him again with her mesmerizing eyes. They look eager and hopeful for some reason.  Jaime is deprived of them for a second when she shook her head.

“Everyone says never to ask you about mother because you get sad,” she replies in disappointment and Jaime realizes that he isn’t the only one who carries the burden of losing Brienne. Jaime faintly recalls his own father, burying himself in work and treating his little brother terribly, all because he could never get over his Joanna. The thought of alienating his own child, just as Tywin had, scares him. _I may be a Lannister, but I’m no Tywin_. He is Jaime, and whatever glory his father had he’d follow but Tywin’s faults, especially with regards to fatherhood, he’ll never tread on.

With that insight, Jaime pours everything out to his little Brienne, his starburst, every detail one can tell a child about their mother. He tells her of how she looked, how strong and kind and gentle and honorable she was, and how bravely she fought against the Others.

As he speaks on and on to their little girl about her mother, it’s as if the river flowed on the dry riverbed once more, bringing a long dead forest back to life within him. He can almost imagine Brienne smiling at him from whatever heaven the gods placed her.

_I will live for our little starburst, Brienne._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I’m so sorry. (Not sorry as well XP) I noticed that I haven’t written JB angst or that much canon(ish) and I’m feeling a little down so well… I know this is bittersweet but I can’t write anything without a little sweetness because I’m trash. ;)
> 
> Yeah, Jaime named their daughter, Brienne, (that sad moment when the only existing Brienne Lannister in the fic is the legitimized daughter of JB) but Jaime nicknames her, starburst because well, the moon is older!Brienne *coughMoonOfMyLifecough*. I kinda imagined Brienne gave birth to little!Bri during the early White Walker War and she went off to fight. They hadn’t named the baby because they haven’t decided on a name and the Wildlings told them about not naming the baby until its two. So they refer to the child as cub but when Brienne dies on the field, Jaime names the child, Brienne and nicknames her starburst. I didn’t feel like fitting this info in the main fic, sarreh, so I put them in the author’s notes hahaha.
> 
> I think I made myself cry a little as well, but please do leave a review. For reviews are starbursts hahahahahaha *cries*


	10. Inheritance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne is nervous and Jaime tries to relax her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I owe everyone who cried over the last one. Really though guys, your tears were a compliment. So here’s fluff as promised. :3

“You’re nervous.”

Brienne had just warmed up to her _lady duties_ and have grown quite comfortable to their naked bodies entwined after fucking. She even had a habit of cuddling against him- a great comfort they both found- until they fell asleep. But as soon as Jaime said this, she was as stiff as she had been on their wedding night.

“And before you say, you are not,” Jaime added immediately, giving his wife a challenging gaze. “Let me remind you that you are a terrible liar and husband and wife don’t keep secrets from one another… at least ideally.”

“We are not ideal,” Brienne snorted.

“Oh believe me, they _are_ envious,” Jaime asserted, giving her a quick kiss before going on. “Well, at least they should. How many highborn marriages have their partners get to choose who they love?”

“We didn’t choose each other,” Brienne argued, rolling her eyes. “We were thrown in a sudden marriage- your idea, by the way- to alliance the North and South.”

“It’s only been a year, wife, have you grown tired of me already?” Jaime feigned heartbreak. “You hurt me, wife.”

At that, Brienne slapped his chest playfully. Jaime’s laughter rumbled as he buried his face into her meager breasts to take a nipple to his mouth.

“Really though,” Jaime said more seriously, then trailed kisses from her chest, upward to her collarbone, then the neck up to her lips, nose and forehead. He then gazed into her blue eyes, wide in a mix of bliss, lust, fear and doubt. Despite his best efforts, the latter two never really go away with Brienne. Jaime wanted to caress or kiss or fuck those feelings away. “We are probably the first wedded highborn since Aegon’s conquest to have gotten to truly know and love one another.”

Brienne looked at him shyly and she grew quiet, looking for the right words to say to him. Then, she gave a small smile as if finally deciding what to say.

“I love you, husband.” It seemed simple but it was enough for Jaime, knowing how Brienne was not vocal, especially in terms of feelings.

“I love you, too, wife,” he replied, putting in a great amount sincerity in his words. “So, _so_ much.”

They drew their faces close until their lips melt together into a kiss- slow at first but then Brienne slipped her tongue and it quickly turned into a messy clash of lips, teeth and tongue while their bodies ground against each other. Jaime sensed the desperation behind the fierceness; hence he was the first to draw back. He couldn’t help but feel a slight satisfaction at the little whimper his wife made.

“You _are_ nervous, wench,” Jaime teased. “Or should I now say, _your Grace_?”

“Jaime, the coronation isn’t until tomorrow,” Brienne meant for it to come out as a chide but Jaime noticed the slight crack in her tone.

“It’s alright to be nervous, Brienne,” Jaime assured her. He was absentmindedly caressing her modest hip. “I am as well. From Kingslayer to King, it’s a big but also frightening improvement, don’t you think?”

“I just-,” Brienne breathed deeply. “Tarth was just a minor House sworn under the Baratheons. I never thought I had strong Targaryen blood in me. Father never talked to me about it, but apparently, he told Queen Daenerys about it before he…went. Brienne paused a little. “ _I’m_ actually Targaryen.”

“The _late_ Queen Daenerys,” Jaime corrected. “Jon Snow died as well. The girl would have legitimized him had they both lived.”

“Yet here we are,” Brienne mumbled. “Once knights of the Kingsguard yet we are tasked with ruling what remains of the Westeros.”

“Ran away from becoming heads of our Houses to follow who we thought we loved,” Jaime added in. “But we found each other instead.”

“ _And_ we’re ruling the Seven Kingdoms,” Brienne groaned more frantically and closed her eyes. Jaime pouted a little at the deprivation of her sapphires.

“You’ll be a great queen,” Jaime reassured her, touching her cheek with his one hand in hopes of coaxing her eyes open. “You have the heart for the kingdom, and you have me to help. We could count in Tyrion as well.”

“But even as Hand, isn’t Tyrion inheriting Casterly Rock?” Brienne asked.

“No, I’m still heir. Just like how you’re still heir to Tarth,” Jaime told her.

“What about our children then?” Brienne kept asking. “Are they going to inherit the throne, Casterly Rock or Tarth?”

Unnoticed to Brienne, Jaime’s emerald eyes sparkled. “Well, we will just have to make certain we have at least three heirs then.”

“Wait, but how do we do tha- _oh_ ,” Brienne had to physically slap herself at her own stupidity but Jaime only found the confusion endearing.

“Shall we get started then?”

As Jaime slid his member into her, Brienne felt the weight of her upcoming responsibilities alleviate. Her husband was correct. They were lucky. If Brienne had to rule Westeros, she was glad it had been Jaime she was sharing this journey with.

Besides, they do need plenty of heirs, and Jaime was still very much capable.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a random thought on the “Brienne-is-a-secret-Targ” spec. If she is indeed a contender for the throne, is married to Jaime, and Jon and Daenerys (and “Aegon”) dies, it could mean Jaime and Brienne would need three heirs- one for the throne, one for Casterly Rock and one for Tarth. And that would mean constant JB banging. Hahahaha.
> 
> Hahah I noticed how long my drabbles are getting. Are they still drabbles? Do I need to change the title?
> 
> Please alleviate the weight of my responsibilities as the future breadwinner of my House by leaving a review :P


	11. The Twins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne noticed Jaime’s sudden intent in watching over their twins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be funny but then well, it turned into drama-ish.

Two blond heads that barely reached Jaime’s hip ran past him. One of them, with the longer hair, was carrying a stick and yelling at the other to yield. Jaime chided the girl to be careful with where she waved the stick.

“Jaime.”

He swiveled his head at the sound of his name and found himself staring at Brienne’s worried blue eyes. Jaime had been so absorbed in watching over the twins that he had almost forgotten that his wife’s arm was curled beside him.

“You’ve been keeping such a close eye on Joanna and Galladon ever since their eighth nameday,” Brienne told him bluntly but full of concern. “I didn’t wish to say anything but it’s been two moons since then and you are still the same. Is something wrong?”

Jaime averted his eyes from her probing sapphires and focused on their twins once more. The girl was lightly prodding the boy with a stick now.

“I just miss Cersei,” Jaime replied immediately and Brienne made a squeaky sort of ‘oh’. Realizing what he said and how Brienne would interpret it, he shook his head. “I didn’t mean it that way, wife. I love you very much. It’s just- Joanna and Galladon. They look so much like Cersei and I at that age. Of course their hair is a little different and they have your freckles but it is frightening how the rest is very Cersei and I.”

“I know,” Brienne said, sounding perplexed. “But it was evident when they started walking how they look like you. You were never this apprehensive until their eighth nameday.”

“When I see Jo and Gall laugh and play with each other, I recall a time when Cersei and I were only brother and sister,” Jaime said with a fond smile, his eyes still at the twins. Jo was bossing Gall to lie on the ground and pretend he’s dead. “Cersei and I would even switch clothes sometimes. She attends my sword fighting lessons and I do her needlework but they’d eventually find out because we were terrible at them.”

Jaime chuckled a little before his expression turned dark. “But when we were eight, it was when our innocence began to fall apart. We saw some animals doing… _things…_ and we imitated them.”  Jaime took a deep breath before continuing. “We were only playing. We didn’t know it was wrong. The only thing we knew was we were kept apart after years of sharing a bed and the maid who caught us was gone. Then mother died, whatever heart father had died along with her, Cersei became worse, and I blinded myself to my dysfunctional family.”

Jaime realized that he’d been staring at nothing. The twins had headed inside the stables and Jaime moved to follow them but Brienne’s large hand was on his chest.

“Jo and Gall,” she began awkwardly. “They are close, probably like how you and Cersei once were, but they’re not like you, husband.” Brienne only ever called Jaime that when he was in great distress because she knew how much he relished it. “They are different individuals; brought up by different parents- a wonderful father- may I add, and they will grow up to be different people- not like you or me.”

“There will be no one like them,” Jaime mused.

“Not a single one,” Brienne agreed. “Not even one another.”

“You are quite generous with your praise today, wife,” Jaime snickered as his stump caressed her right arm around his left. “ _A wonderful father._ Must I return the favor in our bedchambers tonight, hmm?”

“You want to fuck me regardless,” Brienne replied rolling her eyes and Jaime laughed at her use of the crass word. She did say it around him ever since they married but Jaime could never quite get over it. “But really though. I think we’ve taught our children to talk to us. You always made sure you won’t shut out Rhaegar, Joanna and Galladon, even though I know how you wish to get out when they start babbling nonsense.”

Jaime opened his mouth to reply but then Galladon came out running from the stables.

“Mother, Father! Come quick!”

The boy grabbed Jaime’s stump and pulled him inside the stables, dragging Brienne along since her arm was still hooked to her husband’s. They could see the tense form of Joanna’s back looking at something.

Jaime felt his chest threatening to explode in fear at what he saw.

“Mother, father, are the horses ill in the head?” asked Joanna with worry, but the worry didn’t match Jaime’s. In fact, he probably was the one who looked ill in the head. Jaime could imagine himself- his whole body stiff with eyes wide in panic. The only thing that brought him back was large calloused fingers that had slipped through his. Jaime turned to his wife and all it took was the soft sort of maternal expression in her blue eyes that made his anxiety melt away. Brienne had thought she wasn’t made for motherhood but that look alone said otherwise.

“They’re Joanna and Galladon,” Brienne said with a small smile when Jaime stared at her silently for too long. “Just talk to them. I’ll be here to help as well.”

At that, they ushered their twins outside. And together as parents, they explained to the best of their ability why the horses were in that position. By the end of the lecture, Joanna shrugged and merely hacked her wooden stick at a barrel beside her. Galladon, however, asked more about the topic, his eyes were glinting like a curious maester. As their children babbled on, Jaime and Brienne shared a silent conversation with their eyes. Brienne looked a little smug while Jaime was a mix of defeat and relief. As much as he wished that he and Cersei had been different, he might have never married his wife and never had their children. Joanna and Galladon were close twins that resembled each other greatly but they were their own persons as well.

His family- his own present family- was enough to make that longing go away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still in the Queen Brienne with Targaryen blood universe but not obvious. The only hint is that I named one of their children (mentioned but didn’t appear), Rhaegar. Had Daenerys been around, I doubt they’d name their child that, but Daenerys is dead in Queen Brienne world so I think Jaime would like to name his eldest son after Rhaegar whom he did greatly respect and admire.
> 
> So far, they have 3 children in this world. Rhaegar is the eldest, and followed by fraternal (but identical looking) twins, Joanna and Galladon. Also, I was short on male names they could possibly want to name their kids after (I didn’t feel like naming one Selwyn for some reason even though he’s dead in this verse) so that’s why I named their eldest, Rhaegar XD
> 
> Do leave a review… pwease *stares at you with Brienne’s borrowed sapphire eyes that melt away all your problems in life*


	12. A Man Has Many Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The five names Brienne calls Jaime. Some smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to start putting warnings ahead here if I put in smut.

“Jaime, why can’t I name our son, Renly?” Brienne almost pouts and Jaime has to bite his cheek to prevent him from bursting into laughter.

“Because it’s quite a ridiculous name,” Jaime counters.

“I think Renly is a beautiful name, father,” Jo points out and Jaime glares at his daughter.

“I would have to agree,” Gall backs them up. Jaime looks desperately to his eldest child but he sees Rhaegar’s lips curl into a suppressed smirk- one he’s all too familiar with when he looks at a mirror- and Jaime knows he is lost.

“I’m with them, father,” Rhaegar confirms Jaime’s thoughts.

“That’s four against one, Jaime. I’m sorry,” Brienne says unapologetically with a shrug.

*******

“What do you want, Ser Jaime?” Brienne spits and Jaime flinches at her old formalities.

“I came here to apologize for my untoward behavior earlier,” he replies humbly. “I shouldn’t have done that toward our guests.”

“Whatever happened in the past with Ser Hyle and Lord Connington is simply _that_ \- the past,” Brienne berates him, ignoring his apology. “And you rising to the bait of their japes and lashing out at them in front of the other guests is highly unbecoming. Maybe we didn’t concern ourselves with a certain image before, but now we do. Their japes weren’t even cruel compared to many other things we’ve heard.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,” he sighs.

“Well don’t apologize to me,” she growls. “Apologize to them. And don’t talk to me until you do, Ser Jaime.”

Jaime did a small bow before leaving their chambers.

*******

“My King, they do have a point,” Brienne says with a neutral voice. The council members look to the two with curious eyes and Jaime tries hard not to laugh. This was a council meeting and Brienne keeps on reminding him before every council meeting how there should be no nonsense during these but still. Ever since Brienne was crowned, she has been careful to keep up appearances and his laughter would not help at all.

“You’re right,” he says with an equally formal tone. “Walls and castles are well and good for protection against foes but what is a stronghold that would defend against sieges for years without an ample supply of food.”

“It is settled then,” Brienne commands with finality. “Lord Tyrion, I would like to see the revised plans for King’s Landing as soon as possible, where one could plant crops within the city.”

“It will be done, your Grace,” Tyrion replies with a nod.

Brienne turns to Jaime and her queenly mask slips a little. He was smiling stupidly at her, he knows. The way Brienne holds herself high yet humble amazes Jaime to no end.

“W-would you like to add anything?” Brienne asks with a slight squeak and Jaime shakes his head. She quickly turns back to the council, likely to stop her blush from turning any redder, and becomes Queen Brienne once more. “If that is all, the council is dismissed.”

Everyone gets up and seats were scraping around them. Brienne turns to Jaime again.

“I’ll see you for supper, my King,” she simply says.

Jaime resists the urge to roll his eyes at her formality. “Of course, your Grace.”

*******

“You’re getting old, Kingslayer,” Brienne teases with a breathy laugh, her large hands gently gripping his cock. Jaime tries not to show how he enjoys it when his wife looms over him while taunting him, but he’s sure Brienne’s gripping hand knows. His wife has been getting more adventurous in words and in bed, of course, yet it was always after she gives birth that some spirit of lust and wit overtakes her. As much as Jaime enjoys leading their private dance, he enjoys it more when his wife does- mostly because only he gets to see her like this.

“My, my, you are a naughty wench, aren’t you?” he replies. Kingslayer… wench… They had both hated those names when it was the other who called that, but it was a long time ago, and they didn’t know how they were valued and respected by the other despite calling them those names. Now, they call each other those out of fondness.

“What did you call me?” Brienne says threateningly and she lets go of his cock. Jaime actually whimpers but he sees his wife’s smug smile and he knows it isn’t over. She leans closer to him until her lips are only a breath away from his ear and then whispers, “The queen should punish you for that insolence, but how I wonder.”

Then, she hums a lively tune. While she does so, her hand rests on his chest, and then slowly and gently trails downwards until she reaches his cock once more, slowly stroking the head with her thumb.

“Slay your Queen,” she demands meeting his gaze with great intensity. “Shove your sword through me, Kingslayer.”

Jaime is confused at her words for a moment. But then she sinks herself down to him. Only then did Jaime finally understand.

*******

“Husband,” Brienne coos. Jaime almost didn’t hear her through his throbbing head.

“The Mountain,” Jaime breathes. “His undead hands crushed our children’s heads. Aerys was yelling to burn them all and wildfire was closing in on you. We were in the sept and... and Cersei was there as well.  She was ripping my clothes off. She wanted to _take_ me as I watch you all die.”

“We’re alive, husband,” she assures him with both her hands on his cheeks. They couldn’t see one another but he can imagine the soft look of her blue eyes. “Aerys, the Mountain, Cersei. They are all dead.”

“I have to be sure our children are alive, Brienne.” Jaime scrambles out of bed and almost bolts to the door when a hand closes around his wrist. He feels a tunic being handed to him.

“Get dressed, first. I will, as well.” Jaime hears his wife say before he feels her plump lips upon his for a short gentle kiss. “We’ll take Oathkeeper and Honorbound if it eases your worry.”

“I love you so much, wife.”

“I love you as well, my husband.”

 _My husband_. It’s like a spell that chases all his darkness away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol this turned to three pages whoops XD Are you bored of me yet? Lol. I’m still fond of my Queen Brienne universe as you can see. So, summary: Jaime (casual), Ser Jaime (anger), My King (formal), Kingslayer (teasing), Husband (Comfort). You can tell from that last part how I feel about the sept scene. I love to hate Cersei but dang Jaime, NOU. Not that Cersei looked like a rape victim afterward but you still don’t do that to anyone. I just wanted Jaime to have some guilt for doing that as well. *shrug*
> 
> Honorbound is my new name for Widow’s Wail.  We cannot have our favorite couple go around with a sword named Widow’s Wail.
> 
> Also, I imagine Brienne to be careful about appearances because I’m pretty sure not very many are still keen on her taking the throne, seeing as she’s a girl from a minor house in the Stormlands who just happened to have Targaryen blood.
> 
> Shoutout to Isola-Caramella for her request because I really was stuck on what to write for the first name XD
> 
> A girl has many internet usernames wishes to hear a reader’s thoughts. ;P


	13. Potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their supplies dwindled, Jaime and Brienne come upon a dead corpse with some food. (Pre-Maiming Era AKA when these two idiots still hated each other)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Agh I got distracted by the internet so I didn't finish writing Couples Camp Part 3, so here's a short funny thing I wrote instead as you wait.

"The honorable Brienne Tarth stealing from a dead man's goods?" Jaime's chains rattled when he moved his hand over his heart to feign a surprised gasp. “I am _shocked_ , my lady.”

Brienne’s glare was like shards of blue glass flying towards him yet Jaime only smiled as if he dodged them all.

“Our supplies were finished off days ago. We need the strength if we are going to fulfill our oath to Catelyn Stark,” Brienne explained, not sure if she was trying to convince him or herself. “Or if _you_ want to get back to your sister.

Brienne turned away from him and rummaged the corpse’s bag once more. Jaime was sure the last part was added in hoping to shut him up but of course the wench will be disappointed. “What happened to respecting the dead, my lady ser?” he scoffed. “You didn’t even bury the poor man. What kind of a noble knight, are you?”

“I will bury the man once we get our fill,” Brienne replied without looking back at him.

“But _looting_ , my lady,” Jaime knew that his japes were just the same thing over and over again, but Brienne was right, with a dry tongue and a growling belly, neither of them were coherent. Still, Jaime couldn’t help it. “That’s such a violation- a desecration to an innocent man’s dignity. You are just like every other knight- ruthless and merciless. Perhaps you _can_ be a knight, wench.” At that, Brienne turned to look at him and Jaime showed her his most venomous smile. “Dishonorable, desperate, selfish, cowardly.”

Suddenly, the dangerous glass melted into liquid. Brienne looked like she was on the verge of tears. For a moment, there was a pang in his heart and Jaime felt compelled to apologize to her.

Unexpectedly, a potato stuffed his mouth. Jaime turned to look at Brienne once more and her eyes were hardened once more.

“Shut up and eat, Kingslayer!”

For once, Jaime obeyed.

Despite her roughness, he couldn't help but smile though. He didn't know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a post on one of Gwen's films, "Ourhouse" and one of the pictures was Gwen stuffing a potato in a guy's mouth (Post Here: https://www.facebook.com/jaimebrienne/posts/1289385854419779 ) and I've been wanting to write it since then XD Well, have to prepare for school now. :P


	14. Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some drunken men insults Lord Lannister’s wife. How will he deal with it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! The Fluffiest of Seven Fluffs

“The most handsome man in Westeros and he fucks his sister and marries an ugly woman.”

As the drunken laughs followed, Brienne glanced worryingly at Jaime. They were both riding on horseback, side by side, to survey the markets. Jaime’s expression was stone. Kingslayer and sisterfucker were titles that Jaime was always used to but whenever she was the one who was mocked, Jaime became tense and often violent. She had noticed it sometime after their confession. Whenever some soldier, who had been in Renly’s army once, would call her Brienne the Beauty, he’d growl at them. Once she had to hold him back from picking a fight with some Northern men who had asked if they could borrow the Kingslayer’s whore and promised they’d pay their debts. Over the years, the japes lessened but they both knew there were still whispers. They do hear people speak it every now and then. This time, it’s coming from a bunch of drunkards who are too inebriated to keep their mouth shut.

“At least Cersei Lannister was stunning. Is this one even a woman?” another spat.

“Maybe he’s marrying her because she’s rich,” a third one drawled. “The Sapphire Isle I hear she’s from. Must be full of sapphires. The mines of Casterly Rock have run dry after all.”

“A metaphor,” the second man snorted. “His sister’s _mine_ is dry so he seeks another one’s.”

“I don’t care how wet she is. I would never fuck someone that homely.”

Laughter erupted once more and Jaime pulled the reins of his horse to stop it. Suddenly, all market activities ceased and everything became quiet. Everyone there could see the lord and lady of Casterly Rock passing through just as well as they heard the loud insulting talks of the drunkards. Brienne pulled the reins of her own horse as well.

“Jaime, don’t,” she begged with a soft voice.

Jaime’s hard expression softened into a small smile.

“I simply just wanna get some fruit, lady wife,” he told her as he got down. “Come join me.”

Brienne stared warily at him for a long time before getting off her own horse. He held her hand and led her to the fruit stand. The seller was shaking like a leaf.

“W-what can I do for you, m-m’lord,” she stuttered.

Jaime wore a charming smile to calm the woman down. He spotted some small round berries and picked one up and popped it in his mouth.

“Those are from Summer Islands, m’lord,” the woman informed him, sounding calmer than before.

“They’re delicious,” Jaime noted popping one, two, three more. Everyone was watching Jaime curiously, even the drunkards. “My love, you should try it.”

Brienne wanted to laugh at the use of that nickname. She wasn’t even sure if he ever used that before. But she felt that now wasn’t really the time to laugh. She played along whatever he was playing at and reached out a hand to grab a berry but Jaime’s left hand grabbed her wrist.

“I said, try it, love.”

Brienne was confused now. How was she going to try a berry without getting it?  She opened her mouth to ask Jaime what he wanted her to do.

Then Jaime crashed his lips into hers. Immediately, he slipped his tongue and she could taste the berry in it. His tongue tasted sweet with a hint of sour. Jaime led her wrist- the one he had been holding- behind his back and his stump urged her other hand to do the same. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He deepened the kiss- more desperate and needy, if it was even possible. Brienne forgot all about the audience and returned his kiss with the same eagerness. Jaime’s hand and stump began to wander all over her body. Brienne really wasn’t sure what was going on except that Jaime was kissing her, touching her, making her breathless and beautiful.

Abruptly, Jaime broke off with a grin. “Wasn’t that delicious, lady wife?”

Brienne’s reply was a string of garbled words. She was still too dizzy to speak.

“By the way,” Jaime said to the drunkards. “The Sapphire Isle is named for its clear blue waters. It has no actual sapphires. So, no, I chose my wife because I love her. Although, her _mine_ is precious.”

That seemed to snap Brienne back to reality. “Jaime!”

“But it’s all _mine_. You’re all mine, my precious sapphire.”

“Jaime…” she sighed at how cheesy he was.

He lightly pinched the tip of her nose, and then kissed it. “I love you, Lady Lannister.”

“Clearly very much, m’lord,” the fruit seller noted. She turned to the drunkards and whipped out a broom. “And go away you drunken fools!” She began whacking them with it. “You’re bothering everyone with your stupid talks. Away!”

The men scurried off and Jaime laughed so hard at the feisty woman.

“How much for the berries?” Brienne asked the woman as politely as she could but Brienne was obviously biting back a grin.

“Oh take them for free, m’lady. For your troubles.”

Jaime finally stopped laughing and fished out two golden dragons from his pocket and placed it on the counter. “For your troubles.”

Lord and Lady Lannister walked away before the stall owner could protest.  Jaime nuzzled his nose in Brienne’s before parting. Usually Brienne hated it when Jaime was too affectionate in public, but for once, she was happy that he defended her honor using other _sweet_ means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m strangely proud of my mine joke (the ones the drunks were making). I don’t know. XD
> 
> We all know Jaime would golden bitchslap a bitch for insulting Brienne but I don’t think Brienne will like him doing so. So I headcanon that Jaime kisses Brienne almost inappropriately so people will get the point that she’s gorgeous af to him and he’s so fucking in love with her that it actually physically hurts me XD
> 
> Every review is a sweet treat, a precious sapphire in my mine of confidence. ;P  


	15. Alliance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime proposes an alliance to Brienne.

“An alliance.”

The words feel thick on her tongue as she watches Jaime pause from his pacing to give her a strange look.

“Yes,” he replies, giving her a tired smile. “An alliance.”

“An alliance to bond the North and the South. The Starks and the Targaryens,” Brienne repeats, not breaking her gaze from his.

“That’s what an alliance is, Lady Brienne,” Jaime teases while slowly striding toward her. Jaime always paces. He is never still. But he only ever circles around her. Never had he tried to stride directly toward her. Brienne takes steps backwards when she realizes he isn’t going to stop.

“M-marriage,” she stutters. “Marriage for politics- oof!”

Something hit her backside- the desk- and Brienne knows she is trapped. In no time at all, Jaime arms are on either side of her. His hand and stump is probably resting on the desk judging from his askew shoulders.

“Looks like we will be arguing about politics after all… for the rest of our lives. However long _that_ is going to be.” Jaime japes but there is awkwardness in his chuckle. His stump caresses the side of her leg and Brienne freezes at the intimacy. This is probably the closest they’ve ever been- second to the baths of Harrenhal and being tied together by the Bloody Mummers that is.

Suddenly, Jaime’s face twists in disgust as Brienne feels his stump leave her leg.

“Does my stump repulse you so, my lady?” he spits harshly and Brienne is suddenly confused. He must have seen her confusion because other things come out of his mouth. “Is it because I’m Kingslayer? Sisterfucker? Oathbreaker? Man Without Honor?”

“Ser Jaime, I do not understand. You know I do not think that. You have kept your oaths and I know you are honorable.”

Jaime huffs out. His face melts into a vulnerable weary expression that Brienne almost had the urge to touch his face. Almost.

“Am I worthy to wed you, Brienne?”

The question takes her aback. “You are Jaime of House Lannister, Lord of Casterly Rock. _Any_ woman would be very lucky to wed you.”

“Is Jaime alone worthy to wed you?”

Brienne’s heart races. She can feel the heat rushing to her face. But her voice seems to stop working. She opens her mouth but no words come out. Jaime lowers his gaze. He looks like a man who’s been defeated.

“Jaime,” she whispers. “I’m not repulsed by you. I just- I do not know…” No, Brienne knows what he might be trying to do but past experiences are clouding that knowledge with doubt. “…I want you to make your meaning plain.” No more circling around her. She wants him to tell it straight.

“Fine,” Jaime says with a straight face before it turns sheepish. “I love you, Brienne, but is this marriage only an alliance to you?”

Jaime’s eyes shines with hope and eagerness. There is a war inside Brienne. Doubt and hope wrestle like animals battling for territory. Doubt has been always resided in her heart but Jaime’s emerald gaze sparkles like a shy little boy that it is just as powerful as her age old doubt.

“But Jaime. What about… her? I’m not her.” Doubt is pinning her hope down yet somehow she knew it wasn’t long before hope will break free.

“Not the answer I’m looking for.” Jaime deadpans. A heavy silence hangs between them, but Brienne’s mind was not silent at all.

_You’re ugly. He doesn’t care. He thinks you’re awkward and slow and stupid. Yet he still loves you. He loves Cersei. He loves you. You’ll never replace her in his heart. He’s made it clear that he’s done with her._

She was tenser than ever as her internal voices argued louder and louder until it sounded like they were screaming.

“Brienne…”

 “No,” Brienne whispers and she is shocked by her own words. Never did she think she’d allow hope to gain victory. Jaime, however, looks confused. Somehow, her hope emboldens her once more.

“No, Jaime,” she clarifies more clearly now. “More than just an alliance.”

Jaime’s eyes widen and look shiny.

Suddenly, he breaks into laughter, and Brienne feels her heart break. Doubt begins to taunt her once more. Tears pool at her eyes, threatening to gush but haven’t spilled quite yet.

Then Jaime closes in on her face. The meager inches of air between them are gone once his lips tackle hers for a kiss. Soon, their torsos follow. Then, their limbs. It was as if they have been lost in the desert and finally found their oasis after days of wandering and searching. Perhaps it wasn’t far a comparison.

“I love you so much, Brienne,” he breathes with a joyous laughter that made Brienne’s heart melt.

“I love you, too, Jaime.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t even know to be honest. I had desk bang feels but you know I’m more of a bedding on a bed on their wedding night in canon kinda person so I made desk kiss instead. Not my best but blagh.


	16. Ideal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne needed someone to answer her homework. Sadly, only Jaime is available.

Brienne transferred her index card from her left hand to her right to flex her shaking fingers.

“It’s just for homework,” she tried to reassure herself, but judging from her shaking index card in her right hand, it wasn’t working.

“Brienne…”

Her head whipped to the direction of the voice to find her best friend, the ever annoying but frustratingly handsome, Jaime Lannister, standing behind her with a goofy grin on his face.

“I- I was just about to look for you,” Brienne stuttered. Jaime suddenly frowned.

“Are you okay, Brienne?” he asked with genuine concern. Brienne wondered for a second what he was worried about her this time when she realized her whole body shivered like a leaf. Jaime lifted his hand and began to reach out for her but Brienne jumped away from him as if he were a hot object. _And oh gods is Jaime hot_.

“I’m fine,” she squawked.

“Easy,” Jaime replied holding up his hands. “Let’s just sit down first. You look like you went through the Long Night.”

It was a beautiful sunny day out in the school grounds and Brienne must have looked stupid shivering out there like it was winter. They found an empty bench nearby and settled themselves there. Brienne made sure there was about a foot of distance between them.

“So…” Jaime drawled as he turned slightly sideways toward her and crossed his legs which brushed against hers. His arm was draped over the backrest while his torso leaned against the backrest casually. He gave one of his easy smiles before continuing. “Why are you looking for me?”

Brienne could feel her cheeks heat up as she sucked in her breath.

“Just for the record,” Brienne began. “This is for my homework and you’re the only single friend around their late 20s that I know.”

“O…kay,” Jaime replied with a raised brow.

Brienne took a deep breath once more. “So, we’re uhm… supposed to interview some people about… errrr… ahem… love… and well… uhh…” Brienne was at loss for words. _Godsdamn. Just spit it out!_

Suddenly, Jaime straightened up with worry creasing his face once more. Then, he bent over to her. Brienne’s heart fluttered, thinking he was going to kiss her.

Instead, he merely touched her arm and Brienne cursed her thoughts.

“Wench, calm down,” Jaime said, completely unaware that his touch was not making her calm at all. “Whatever you’re going to ask, it couldn’t be that embarrassing.”

“What’s your ideal wife?” she blurted out. Brienne stilled. _I sound like a complete maniac. This is for my grades not…_

If Jaime saw any indication of her strange behavior, he didn’t acknowledge it. He merely retreated back to his previous laid back position.

“That’s all?” he asked a little too nonchalantly given her obvious freak out.

“That’s all,” she confirmed as calmly as she could.

“Give me that index card,” he demanded and snatched it out of Brienne’s hand before a word of protest left her lips. She could only watch him fish out a marker from his pocket and make broad strokes that must have filled out the whole page.

“Jaime!” Brienne shrieked. “Just cause my dad owns a resort, doesn’t mean I’m wastef-”

Her index card returned in her hand face down. Brienne eyed her best friend suspiciously but he only gave her a sheepish smile. It was one of his rarer, more vulnerable smiles. _Why…_ Brienne turned back to the index card and flipped it over.

She gasped at the three capitalized letters written in his familiar scrawl.

**Y-O-U**

Her head swirled. _Jaime would never…_ She brought the card closer to her face as if locating for a fine print in a contract but found none. It must be one of Jaime’s japes, surely. She put down the index card, expecting to find Jaime with puffed cheeks to hold his laughter.

Instead, he smashed his lips into hers, leaving her frozen, even if their lips did nothing but touch.

His lips left almost a little too soon for her liking. Brienne expected mockery or regret in his eyes, but she saw panic instead.

“Too soon?” he whispered.

Brienne didn’t know what in Seven Hells possessed her.

She grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My inspiration for this is my Social Science homework which is more or less the same as above and my friends were kinda pushing me to ask this guy the same question above and it was so embarrassing, though I had a different ending from this fic. Basically, I found out that he was in a relationship and I couldn’t use people in a relationship apparently and I ended up making a pretend interview and based my answer on what I learned from JB relationship analysis hahahaha. I also did that with another question for newlyweds about the difference between married life and non-married life. Yay JB and my bullshitfuckery English skillz XD
> 
> *scribbles on index card* Review please? ^3^


	17. The Counselor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne go through what must have been the wildest friendship counseling session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol UPDATE XD I know nothing about counseling. Just for cracks and giggles. This was written quickly and I was also too lazy to properly edit but it seems alright. :P

 

Brienne pinned the imposter on the ground, while Jaime begrudgingly checked for injuries on the young police officer who the apprehended man had locked in a chokehold and would’ve died if it weren’t for Brienne. Jaime loathed leaving Brienne alone with the criminal but she was heavier than Jaime and just as skilled in self-defense. Besides, he knew Brienne would want him to make sure the kid was alright. Jaime groaned as he studied at the kid’s neck. He had not intended their day to go like this.

<…oO0Oo…>

 _Why did I agree to do this?_ Brienne internally groaned as she listened to Jaime drone about their friendship. _Friendship_. Brienne scowled at the thought of the word. She frowned further at her cursed brain as it conjured up images of Jaime shirtless and dripping with sweat.

“Hey, Brienne?” Jaime said waving his hand in front of her face. She blinked rapidly and turned her attention back to her friend. He was pouting and Brienne would’ve laughed if it wasn’t the nth time she clocked out on him. This whole friendship counseling idea of Jaime’s was ridiculous but she could at least try. After all, despite being an arrogant infuriating ass, he had done a lot for her. They have been best friends for a few years now and been through a lot together. She’d never really had a best friend, not until Jaime that is and she didn’t want to disappoint him.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m not really sure how comfortable I am-”

Dr. Stokeworth snorted. “Not sure, lass? You look like you’re giving a fucking speech in front of the entire population of King’s Landing.”

Brienne glared at their counselor. She hadn’t really had experience with any until now but she was certain swearing and sarcastic remarks were not something a counselor would say. Aren’t they supposed to be empathetic and encouraging? Brienne thought Jaime and Tyrion were bad. This man was worse than both of them combined.

“Look,” the counselor said in a more serious tone, though Brienne doubted his words will be. “For the past thirty fucking minutes, you’ve been eyeing your _friend_ here as if you’re a hungry wolf and he’s a slab of meat.”

“I am not!” Brienne protested.

“Dr. Stokeworth…” Jaime began but Dr. Stokeworth cut him off.

“And you,” he directed at Jaime. “Acting like a gentleman and shit but all you want is to do her. Seven fucking hells! I can’t stand the sexual tension.”

Jaime’s lips thinned. It usually difficult to anger Jaime but she could tell he was getting aggravated. For some reason, this friendship counseling thing meant so much to him.

“Pissed off, pretty boy?” the counselor spat, completely ignoring Jaime and Brienne’s growing fury. “Didn’t you come here to get some fucking advice? And here it is:  I think your friendship is utter bullshit.” Their eyes grew wide and Dr. Stokeworth continued. “Friend, my ass. You both look like you’re fucking married. You’re both just being stupid. The lass here is too caught up in her insecurities to even consider pretty boy desiring her. Meanwhile, pretty boy is waiting until the lass will stop getting spooked over feelings. Well guess what? Neither of you are going to get laid if you keep at it. Gods! Has anyone even told you you’re both fucking in love with each other? You don’t need a fucking degree to see it.”

Jaime began to lunge at the counselor. Brienne didn’t even have time to hold him back when the door slammed open.

“Freeze!” an officer barked. “You are under arrest!”

<…oO0Oo…>

Brienne and Jaime watched as Dr. Stokeworth- no- Bronn of the Blackwater was cuffed, but the man seemed more amused than annoyed at his arrest. Apparently, he’s a wanted hit man and had been using Dr. Lollys Stokeworth’s home office to hide himself. It just so happened that Jaime and Brienne had an appointment with her when he infiltrated the home. Jaime cursed himself for not even checking the gender of the counselor. He lazily just asked Peck for a name and address. The real Dr. Stokeworth, thankfully, was unharmed and had been tied up in her room upstairs.

Bronn saw the two looking at him and smirked. “I like you both. This has been the most amusing arrest ever. So, here’s some words of wisdom from dear ol’ Bronn, _Just fuck it out already_.” Podrick, the young officer Brienne had saved, prodded Bronn to move forward and both disappeared outside, leaving the two alone. Jaime turned to Brienne.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to let you open up a little more. I thought counseling would help,” he admitted.

“So… what Dr.… uhm… Bronn said…”

“One hundred twenty percent true,” Jaime sighed. “I suppose I was pissed because he had been extremely straightforward about his readings about us. He’s worse than Tyrion. At least my brother knows when to shut up.”

“Maybe that was what we needed,” Brienne whispered so softly yet Jaime heard it nonetheless. It made him giddy.

“You and me at Dornish Spices later at six?” Jaime asked with bravado to hide his excitement.

“You mean like a date?” Brienne said with wide eyes. _Gods be damned! Those eyes!_

Jaime smiled. “Wear the blue dress. I’ll pick you up at five-thirty.”

“But we live in the same apartment unit!”

“See? He’s right. We’re practically married already. Just minus the rings and we have separate rooms, but we’ll fix that soon enough.” Jaime added the last bit with a suggestive waggle of eyebrows and Brienne rolled her eyes at him, which seemed like a subtle change yet it was huge in Jaime’s opinion. She almost always hit him if he made dirty jokes, but Jaime didn’t point it out.

Instead, he twined his hand in hers. Jaime lightly squeezed Brienne’s hand for reassurance and to his relief, she squeezed back.

Who knew a fake therapist would finally bring them together?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was in dire need of a fic of a literal Dr. Bronn, Truthteller and Therapist. And well, I cook up my own prompts now XD But I figured Bronn would be shit at being an actual therapist because no counselor/therapist would be this crass, so I twisted it a little. If anyone wants to do more literal Dr. Bronn, Truthteller and Therapist, PLEASE DO IT!
> 
> Dr. Bronn recommends you leave a review. That’s the truth!~ :P


	18. A Demigod's Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gendry tells Jaime that Arya and Brienne are heading of to the camp of Artemis' Hunters.
> 
> Basically a Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus AU XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advanced for errors in grammar/spelling/PJO info. I'm typing this on my brother's phone at 3 am so no grammar or spellcheck or even autocorrect. It's also hard to proofread on a phone. XD And it's been a while since I did anything PJO related xD
> 
> I miss my laptop though :( and I have so much fanfic ideas swimming in my brain.

"Run faster, smith!" Jaime barked at Gendry who had been trying his best to lumber after the swifter demigod.

"Well, I'm not the son of Hermes, am I?" the smith snapped back.

Jaime only growled in response. He could only hope Brienne hadn't said the words... or that Artemis didn't accept Brienne's oath.

 _Shit shit shit._ Jaime and Brienne had a fight earlier at camp. Tormund, from Camp Jupiter, came into Camp Halfblood for the demigod exchange program. Ever since Brienne had been with him in combat class, the ginger had been pursuing her relentlessly. Jaime noticed Brienne blush a lot when he is around. She also seems to be enjoying his company. Jaime had been seeing green whenever Tormund was hanging about during what Jaime called his and Brienne's BFF Bonding Time (which Brienne called Mealtime) since he wasn't scheduled in any classes with her since Jaime was known to be disruptive around Brienne. Well, he was always kinda disruptive but his and Brienne's constant arguing had been the cause of all the headaches of their instructors. After a week, Jaime couldn't take it anymore and confronted Brienne about it.

"Is it wrong to actually want to feel appreciated and wanted?" Brienne almost yelled at him.

"So you're going to throw yourself at whoever pays you the slightest attention?"

When Jaime had realized what had come out of his mouth, Brienne's blue eyes shone with tears. Jaime meant to follow her but knew that his best friend liked to distance herself when upset. So, he left her alone.

Until he received news from Gendry that Brienne and Arya were headed to the woods where Artemis' Hunters were camping for the night.

Jaime had never ran this fast before. And he was the son of Hermes.

"There," Gendry said, snapping Jaime out of his thoughts. He saw the bright light of camping lamps that glowed an eerie bluish tint which marked as the Hunter's camp. Jaime prayed to his godly father that he would be granted strength to push him to run even faster.

Suddenly, everything around him became a blur. It was only when he saw a familiar hunched figure, sitting on a log in front of a bonfire that made her blonde hair glint beautifully, did Jaime found himself stopping and focusing.

"Brienne, don't do it!" Jaime meant to yell but it came out as a wheeze. Said woman heard it nonetheless and turned around- swinging her legs over the log she sat on to face him. Even in the strange light, her sapphire eyes were astonishing, although a little red, but her cheeks looked dry. Jaime took a while to recover his breath but not as long as most people. Perks of being Hermes' kid probably.

"I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I love you. Please don't join them," Jaime begged on his knees, not caring at all about his dignity. He'd lost most of it years ago anyway when he and his twin thought they could be the gods. Cersei had ideas in mind that's beyond just a Zeus-Hera relationship.

"Told you he was jealous."

Jaime whipped his head and found an auburn-haired girl smirking. Jaime still found it strange that Sansa joined the Hunters. She wasn't particularly a physically strong person and she was kinda boy-crazed when they first met, but after two nightmare boyfriends, who could blame her. Especially if they turned out to be working for the enemy. But it was mostly that creepy-as-fuck hippie corpse of the attic, the Oracle of Delphi that decreed Sansa to join the Hunters.

"Jaime here just thinks flirting is sparring and fighting when it comes to you. Tsk tsk. And you call yourself her best friend, Lannister." Jaime didn't even bother turning to know Margaery's irritating voice. She joined the Hunters to _accompany_ Sansa, which several eyebrows had been raised.

"I just came here to only talk to Sansa about... earlier," Brienne began to explain. Jaime's confused (and pathetically desperate) gaze was back at her. "Arya saw me upset and said that she was going to see the Hunters. It's been a while since I saw Sansa and Margaery."

"Yo bullhead," Jaime heard the little she-wolf snarl. He had forgotten about the smith running after him. "Did you think your girlfriend was going to join the Badass Maid Club?"

Jaime could only hear a sort of wheeze behind him.

"Stupid bull," Arya snorted. "Can't a girl see her annoying sister? I'll miss you too much if I join the forever anti-boy club."

"Thank gods I didn't lose you to the Immortal Celibates," Jaime joked lightly to hide the fact how relieved he really felt, putting on a rather lopsided smile.  His grin grew wider when Brienne turned a delicious shade of red. 

"You are an idiot, Lannister," Brienne sputtered.

"I'm your idiot, Tarth," Jaime clarified, rather enthusiastically but when he saw Brienne's scrunched forehead, he added, "If you will have me."

Brienne bit her lip.

Jaime's legs were beginning to cramp from kneeling, so he stood up, staggered over to Brienne and placed his only hand on her scarred cheek. Jaime gently stroked the scar to show his sincerity. She got the scar from a recent quest she, Podrick, and Hyle (much to Jaime's dismay), went to and ever since she returned from that quest, the scar and many other things, increased her insecurities. Jaime wanted to tear down those vulnerabilities and trust him with her heart.

Jaime seemed to be succeeding.

Brienne leaned to his hand and gently tugged him closer. It was as if their faces were slowly magnetizing toward each other.

"Jaime, I-"

An arrow zipped between the narrow space between their faces. They turned to find Lyanna Mormont, Artemis' lieutenant, scowling and with an arrowless bow pointed at them.

"No making out in my lady's camp!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally Artemis was the one who was going to shoot the arrow but then I imagine lil Lyanna and why not? XD Lyanna M would make a good PJO Artemis actually.
> 
> Yeah, Gendrya because why not and Sansaery if you squuuuuint (cause it's my secret kink).
> 
> Lyanna, don't shoot! They're gonna leave a review ;) hahahahaha


	19. The Blonde Wench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime requests for the tall ugly wench in the brothel. Reluctantly, the owner agrees. But Jaime discovers some layers beneath the stiff awkward "whore".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still writing fics on the phone. XD I've found a decent app but my keyboard lags and it's still frustrating to edit on phone even though I've went through this more than ten times probably lol. I hope you like it though. ^_^

"Come to Casterly Rock with me," Jaime blurted.

Beside him, the tall, homely blonde's vulnerable blue gaze turned into a sharp sapphire glare that would have cut Jaime to shreds in many ways, if not for the modest distance and his (albeit, lessening) inebriation acting as a shield.

"My lord, if you think I'll leave the brothel to be your _personal_ whore, then you are mistaken," she growled, inching away from him. "I'd rather you take my maidenhead now and be on your way. I wouldn't abandon the man who had kindly taken me in when I had nothing."

Jaime had mixed emotions.

He felt a barb that hurt more than it should. His offer was not what she was saying. He didn't know why this girl's opinion mattered to him. What did he care if she questioned his honor?

But also, he felt a great awe and admiration toward the wench (though she certainly wasn't a wench). She's more concerned with paying her debts and keeping her solemn promise rather than holding on to her precious maidenhead, even though her master had grown fond enough of her to forgo that agreement had she been not stubborn.

With his pounding head though, he chose to pick at the barb.

"Listen, wench. I didn't dishonor you a while ago. And I won't ever dishonor you." _Lest you want to_ , he thought but he pushed the lustful thought away before his cock hardened once more.

Jaime did not go to the brothel to not have _it_ taken care of. News of Cersei and Rhaegar's third child had reached the Rock. Immediately after, Tyrion had suddenly invited him to go whoring- just as he did whenever anything concerning Rhaegar and Cersei reached his eyes and ears, which was every year. He suspected it was his brother's way of apology. After all, Jaime chose Tyrion over Cersei. The only thing Jaime did for Cersei was not marrying... yet. Though, it did not stop him from fucking whores. To his credit, he did always fuck blondes exclusively as a pathetic way of coping.

But there he was, sitting on the bed next to a hulking beast maid. Not fucking her, but offering her her dreams.

"You are quite a remarkable woman. You look strong, about my height as well. And the way you keep your oath... It is plain you don't want to be a whore, yet you held on to your promise."

When Jaime had felt the wench stiffen at his touch, he had thought she was forced to fuck him just because he was rich. It was not an uncommon occurrence with brothels but he wanted no part of that personally. But to his surprise, the wench had fiercely defended the brothel owner. She had said that he wasn't a big brothel owner, yet he had taken her in despite his difficulty. Perhaps at the time, the man was grouchy and was really in hardship because his condition had been that she do some hard labor but if someone wanted to fuck her despite her homeliness, she will relent. Jaime had been drunk when he negotiated with the owner for the services of the tall wench but he saw that the man had been hesitant when Jaime pointed at the ugly beast.

"Not many people are that self-sacrificing." Jaime made sure to give a small, honest smile. He may be drunk but his head was clear enough to see her discomfort. "The man had been kind to you, yes, but you are still your own person..." Jaime paused a bit, still hesitant about his offer and how she'll react or if she'll accept it. "I'm offering you a place among my gold cloaks."

The wench began to stutter protests but he was having none of it. This girl would serve fit as a warrior rather than a whore, he could tell, and she had told him she wanted it if it weren't for what was between her legs.

"You have the physical capabilities. I can have you trained or I can train you myself, if it eases your worry. And do I need mention your morals? You would actually make a wonderful knight. To seven hells with your gender!" And seven hells to Tywin and Cersei, knowing their disapproving looks if they ever got word of the female knight among the army. Jaime was the Lord of Casterly Rock. He can do whatever he pleases with the gold cloaks.

"But... I can't leave..."

"I can compensate your master. I will pay him what I owe for your _services_ plus five times more. If I am correct in assuming that the man loves you as if you are his own, I think he would want your happiness."

"If it is alright with him, then it is alright with me."

Jaime felt contented with that answer.

Feeling sleep take over, he instinctively wrapped his arms around the girl's boyish waist. She froze for a moment, then her large hand caressed his thigh.

"D-did you change your mind?" she squeaked. "I- I can still..."

"I found another use for you and the bed, that's all," he replied, letting her go briefly to turn her around so he could look at her face- her pale ugly freckled face with the broken nose, wide lips and astonishing blue eyes that withheld no expression nor hide the truth. "But not that way. I don't feel like sleeping alone tonight."

"I think that's a fair bargain," she said with an endearingly shy smile. For some strange reason, the innocent gesture made his cock stir. He _calmed himself_ before pulling her against him once more and gently laid both of them in bed.

"What's your name?" he asked, as exhaustion was beginning to overwhelm him.

"Brienne, my lord."

Jaime whispered her name before sleep and darkness swallowed him. For the first time in his life, he forgot about his golden-haired sister whilst sleeping with a blonde wench.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, this fic idea was in my mind weeks ago and I wrote this in my notebook but it felt too long (my drabble goals are now less than 1k words or just a little over) and I suddenly created a bit of backstory and continuation for this but it's in disorganized notes with no proper sequence lol. So out of boredom, I rewrote the original drabble because writer's block hahahahahaha.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Get me drunk with reviews *slluuuuurrrrppp*
> 
> I loathe this but I may not be writing in a looooong while... months probably. But I'll be lurking I guess and commenting.


	20. Facehall Messenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne chat on Facehall Messenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update one for today. Just out of boredom. Not really a story. xD

Jaime: **baaaaaabe**

Brienne: **Wrong chat.**

Jaime: **but it sas Brienne.**

Jaime: **i m taklng t Brienne rigt**

Brienne: **Jaime, I thought you were partying at Tyrion's.**

Jaime: **I am. Boring wihout u**

Brienne: **Are you drunk?**

Jaime: **I MIS U AND LOV U**

Brienne: **You're drunk.**

Jaime: **Dont mattr. I wuv u.**

Brienne: **You should get some sleep.**

Jaime: **waht wil it taek for u to beleiv me**

_Jaime set the emoji to ♡_

Brienne: **No, Jaime, a heart emoji won't make me believe you.**

Brienne: **Can we talk about this tomorrow?**

Brienne: **I'm tired.**

Jaime: **Brienne my baby blu sky I kno u are done wit all your finals and projects. U passed early**

Brienne: **Baby blue sky?**

_Jaime changed the chat colors_

Jaime: **lile yhis xhat cplors**

Jaime: **not quite lik your eyes but still pretty enough**

Jaime: **sincr I cant see ur actual eyrs n xhat**

Brienne: **Ugh Jaime stop. Flattery will get you nowhere.**

Jaime: **but its tru ur eyes ar liek sapphires.**

Brienne: **You've told me again and again Jaime.**

Brienne: **I'm eye rolling for your information.**

Jaime: **Y u no acceot my comploments.**

Brienne: **That's funnier if it was a meme form you know.**

Jaime: **BRIENNE I LOV U**

Brienne: **Yeah still not believing you.**

_Jaime set Brienne's name to my sappir star_

_Jaime set his name to brokn hart_

my sappir star: **Jaime, go to bed.**

brokn hart: **LOE ME MY BLU BRI**

brokn hart: **Wat do I ned to do to gain ur luv?**

my sappir star: **Ugh fine.**

my sappir star: **I only date guys who play instruments.**

_brokn hart sent a photo_

my sappir star: **WTF? Jaime, I was joking.**

my sappir star: **Where the hell did you find that? They look like huge pipes or something.**

my sappir star: **And are you wearing ARMOR?**

_brokn hart sent a recording_

my sappir star: **Gods! That was awful. You play like a dying dragon.**

brokn hart: **Taht was teh song of my love**

my sappir star: **Your love must be dying then.**

brokn hart: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhaahahahahahHahaha fubby wench**

brokn hart: **sorty i ahouldnt call u wench**

brokn hart: **but ny mouth xan do ohter things**

my sappir star: **JAIME NO**

brokn hart: **i ment sing u dirty wench**

brokn hart: **sorry agan**

_brokn hart sent a recording_

my sappir star: **Jaime, your singing is EVEN WORSE.**

brokn hart: **but id grom yhe heart**

my sappir star: **Jaime, if I promise to go on a date with you once. Will you leave me alone for the rest of the night?**

brokn hart: **U MEAN IT?**

my sappir star: **I Oathkeeper swear.**

brokn hart: ♡

my sappir star: **We can talk about it when you're sober**.

my sappir star: **If you don't change your mind.**

brokn hart: **NEVER EVER EVER FORNEVER EVER**

my sappir star: **Oh look. You actually spelled a message right.**

brokn hart: **im so haooy**

brokn hart: **i no mkre broken hwart.**

_Jaime changed his name from brokn hart to kittrn_

my sappir star: **Oh Jaime.**

_Brienne changed Jaime's name from kittrn to Kitten_

_Brienne changed her name from my sappir star to My Sapphire Star_

My Sapphire Star: **Not changing these back you know, you kitten. Mehehehehe**

Kitten: **is okau im ur kitten**

_Brienne changed Jaime's name from Kitten to My Lion Kitten_

My Lion Kitten: **MY**

My Lion Kitten: **MY**

_My Lion Kitten sent a video_

My Sapphire Star: **Jaime, CALM down. WHY ARE YOU ANNOUNCING IT TO EVERYONE?**

My Lion Kitten: **BUR I AN YPURS AMD U AR MINE**

My Lion Kitten: **EVERYINE MIST KNPW**

My Lion Kitten: **Brienne. This is Tyrion. I don't mean to use this chat but I thought you'd want to know Jaime passed out. He's not hurt or anything. Just in case you're worried he's not replying.**

My Sapphire Star: **Okay. Jusr take care of him.**

My Lion Kitten: **You're welcome to drop by tomorrow. Jaime would be glad for your company even if he'll kill me.**

My Sapphire Star: **Just keep him safe**

My Lion Kitten: **He misses you a lot, you know. You're all he's ever talked about since he got here in the party. Bronn here wants to bash his head against the wall.**

My Lion Kitten: **Don't be idiots and just talk it out.**

My Sapphire Star: **I can't.**

My Lion Kitten: **I made sure he's in the more private rooms that people can't access so you don't have to worry about unwanted visitors groping your man. ;)**

My Lion Kitten: **Sorry. Kitten. Your kitten. Hm. More fitting if I'm honest.**

_My Lion Kitten sent a recording_

My Lion Kitten: **"Brienne, my sweet sapphire. I'm sorry for being an idiot. I love you so much." Yeah you should come here.**

My Sapphire Star: **I'll br there at nppn.**

My Sapphire Star: **Wiyh food anf mefixation.**

My Sapphire Star: **I swrar Tryion if ypu even resd iur chats I willmurfer tou.**

My Lion Kitten: **Hmmmm... Too late. But I won't say a word to anyone about it.**

My Lion Kitten: **I'm tempted to show Bronn though. He probably ships you both more than I do.**

My Sapphire Star: **DPNTYOUFUCKIGNDARE**.

My Lion Kitten: **Ooohhh swearing. How terrifying. *sarcasm***

My Lion Kitten: **But I promise though. On Oathkeeper was it? Too lazy to scroll up.**

My Lion Kitten: **But I make no promises on not mentioning anything I read here to you both.**

_My Sapphire Star sent a video_

My Lion Kitten: **A full minute of a ceiling and snoring noises... well, I'm going to close this now. Good night lovers. I shall enjoy tormenting you both in the morning MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that I wouldn't be updating for a long while but I'm just too inspired. I'm a weak human being T-T HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
> 
> Inspired from this post: https://mobile.facebook.com/NCWEmmy/photos/a.273743962765034.1073741834.272957046177059/788207357985356/?type=3&refid=17&_ft_=top_level_post_id.788207357985356%3Atl_objid.788207357985356%3Athrowback_story_fbid.788207357985356%3Athid.272957046177059%3A306061129499414%3A69%3A0%3A1483257599%3A-5929191134017033803&__tn__=E  
> (I just really love this page. xD)


	21. No Longer a Maid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne is no longer a maid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update two. I know it's short nut I need to put Jaime's line in a fic. xD

"I'm no longer a maid," Brienne whispered breathlessly, staring at the ceiling disbelievingly.

Beside her, Jaime chuckled despite his head swirling from his release. "That's right, wife. You're no longer the maid of Tarth." He turned to his side, nipping playfully at her ear. "You're a lion of Lannister, and they just heard you _roar."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have about 4 more one shots- 2 short ones (for this series) and 2 really long ones. I'll post them another day.


	22. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne leaves the hall abruptly and Jaime is worried.

Jaime followed his wife outside. It was spring but the winds were still chilly. Normally, he wouldn't mind her exposure to the elements. He and Brienne had survived worse conditions after all. But his wife was with child.

Besides, he was worried. Brienne had left the hall abruptly and wordlessly.

"Wife," he called out as he spotted her broad back. "You'll catch a cold."

"Ser Jaime?" she replied without turning back. A chill went through him that wasn't caused by the wind. He hadn't heard her call him ser for moons.

"Brienne..."

"Just... give me a few minutes," she cut him off. "Go back inside."

Jaime watched her release a shaky breath, and he decided he just cannot leave her alone. Jaime walked toward her then proceeded to wrap his arms around her midsection. The flesh on his arms felt her swollen belly below and her seemingly larger-than-usual breasts above. Brienne was still taller than him so he made do with resting his cheek on her back.

"Wife, tell me what's wrong," he pleaded. "And do not tell me you're fine. I know something is troubling you. You can't lie, wife."

She sighed. "You'll think me ridiculous."

Jaime hummed in response. "Probably. But I love you and it's bothering you so I want to hear it anyway."

Brienne inhaled sharply before speaking. "I'm jealous."

"Of?" He tried to sound even- not too curious, not mocking either- else Brienne would hide back into her walls again.

"L-lady..." She seemed to be choking with her own words, yet Jaime patiently waited for her to finish. "Lady Catelyn."

 _Oh_.

He didn't know how their conversation at the table had turned that way but Jaime had mentioned of being nearly married to Lysa Tully and meeting Catelyn. Arya, then, had asked about what their mother had been like when she was younger and Jaime recalled how beautiful and fierce she had been even back then. He even mentioned with a laugh about how much more interesting Catelyn was than Lysa, which caused Bronn to feign surprise about Jaime having other hair colors he liked aside from blonde. Jaime had retorted that there had been a time when he was actually a normal boy. Arya's and Sansa's faces twisted in disgust at the thought of Jaime being...

_I'm a bloody idiot._

"Brienne, I think-"

"I'm being ridiculous, I know."

Jaime slid his hand and stump down to her belly and caressing it, then hummed against her back. "I think it's sweet."

"What?"

"And ridiculous," he added with an eye roll. Jaime gently turned her around. Brienne didn't seem to be crying but her blue eyes looked shiny and her face was as red as their banners. "I was a green boy at the time. She was just a passing fancy, _wife_." He made sure to emphasize the last word to remind her of who she is to him. "Not uncommon for a boy that age."

"She would have been a good wife to you," she muttered, staring down at her feet. "The copper-haired, green-eyed children she'd bear you would have been beautiful." Brienne finally looked at him and it was full of insecurity. "You and Lady Catelyn are closer in age as well. You would have been happy with her."

Jaime processed her words, carefully formulating a response, causing an momentary silence between them.

"Maybe I would," he finally spoke, trying his best to keep his expression impassive. "But we'll never really know. Lady Catelyn married Ned Stark, not me. _I'm_ married to you and I'm happy with you. I always will be, Brienne."

Brienne remained unconvinced, so he sighed and asked, "Would you have been happier with Renly?"

She opened her thick mouth as if to speak but no sound came out.

"You'd have tall, black-haired and sapphire-eyed babies."

"Jaime..."

"What about Connington? Or Hunt? They are closer in age." His lips thinned into a straight line at the idea of Brienne marrying any of them. Suddenly, he's bothered about the age gap between them, but he tried to keep things light. "Really, wife, I feel like an old man."

"Alright," Brienne replied with a snort and a grin. "I'm sorry."

"That's the spirit, wife," he replied, returning her smile- the newly found smile that Jaime loved from the moment he discovered it.

"I do apologize," she said more seriously. "You married an insecure woman.'

"Wife, I need encouragement, too, you know," he said softly.

Brienne gazed at him absent-mindedly, pondering on what to do. Then decided to lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. It was brief but Brienne rarely initiated forms of affection like this. "You're a wonderful husband, I love you, and you will be a great father."

"I am always yours, lady wife, and I love you more than you ever know. Thank you."

"You're welcome, husband. That's enough ego feeding. You already have quite enough." Brienne smirked. "I, on the other hand, want lemon cakes."

Jaime rolled his eyes and offered his arm. "You and the little cub have quite the appetite. Come on, then. I'll feed you."

Brienne looped her arm around his as they entered the dining hall together. The usual stares were back, but Jaime didn't care. He loved parading his wife for all to see. What did he care about looks or age? He'd been with worse. And she had been beautiful and exactly his age. What mattered was he was happy with someone who loved him back just as much, trusted and understood him wholeheartedly, and made him a better person each and every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaime didn't peg Brienne for the jealous type but her hormones XD


	23. A Moment's Tranquility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the middle of winter, in the middle of the war that would determine the fate of humanity, the wedded Lannister commanders find peace in the midst of chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little winter-related thing I came up with for the holidays some time ago. Nothing but shameless fluufffff

 

"Why are you looking at me like that, Jaime?"

There was a quick elation at Brienne's use of his name, but it soon plummeted when he saw her thick lips twisting into a grimace. He countered it with what he hoped was a soft genuine smile.

"Looking at you like how, wife?" he replied, though he knew exactly how he was looking at her. Brienne turned her gaze away from him- her slightly pink cheeks turning darker. They've been married for a year now and it took many moons for Brienne to stop calling him 'ser'. Though she was still shy about being constantly referred to as 'wife'.

"Is your..." she trailed off. "Do you wish for me to _warm_ you up?" Sapphire eyes returned to look at him, searching for...  _something_ in his face. Jaime immediately knew what she meant and risked a teasing smirk.

"Really? In front of our esteemed officers?" Jaime whispered. It came out mocking, but he truly was curious.

Winter was upon them- had been even before they married- and it got so cold that no one had private dwellings anymore. The undead had pushed them further south and a small abandoned village a few miles near Moat Cailin served as their current camp. The commanders were housed in the small inn and Jaime and Brienne, along with the other healthy commanders, were staying in the dining hall.

Their current position had been a compromise and Brienne only agreed for body warmth. Although only their faces were seen due to the layers of fur they were buried in, their proximity was still quite obvious. And public. Jaime was leaning against a stone wall while Brienne was half on top of him- her head resting on his shoulder. Beneath the furs, their limbs tangled around one another.

"W-we are wrapped in layers of fur and... if-if they can tell..." She huffed releasing a puff of white smoke. "...we are married."

Jaime chuckled but immediately stopped when Brienne's frown deepened.

"Apologies, wife. Your innocence is still endearing, and I truly do mean it."

When her expression remained the same, Jaime sighed. "Oh, Brienne. I'm... warm enough. I do not need any more... warming." Brienne had made sure that her legs didn't touch his groin.

"Then, why were you staring at me in that queer way?" she asked once more- her sapphire eyes demanding. "I don't know what to make of it. I can't have gone any prettier."

Jaime decided to answer her.

"It's the first time I've seen you smile- genuinely smile."

He had been surprised at how relaxed Brienne began to feel cuddling against him. At that, Jaime had slightly tilted his head down to look at his wife. He found Brienne staring absently at something with an upward curl of her lips. It had been really fascinating to watch. "We're facing a great doom," Jaime added. "Unsure if we'll even make it to tomorrow, but you smiled as if it's spring."

"Oh... Was I?" she croaked and looked away, remorseful. "Apologies. It's very inappropriate of me. Our comrades..."

Jaime knew she was thinking of the many men they lost. One of them was her squire, Podrick, who she had to set aflame herself during the last battle. "We can't dwell on that now, wife. We still have to take care of the ones left alive."

The lines on Brienne's face lessened but she looked tired as she whispered, "I know."

Jaime knew he should drop it but his curiosity was eating him.

"So why were you smiling?"

He felt his lady's face heat up against his neck. He had to refrain from expressing any sign of mockery and bite back every jape at the tip of his tongue if he wanted an answer.

"I don't know..." she said with a squeaky wavering tone. The way she bit her bottom lip with her upper teeth and avoiding his gaze meant she was holding back something. Brienne never lied unless it concerned her feelings.

"Where is my honest, Brienne?" Jaime asked gently. "I swear upon my honor I won't laugh."

Brienne looked at him hesitantly, then her gaze flickered away for a while, and Jaime was afraid she would shut herself again just when they were making progress. But her eyes were upon his once more.

"I like this," she blurted out.

"Like what?" he prodded. "Your poor husband is stupid and insecure, wife. Make him understand."

Brienne rolled her eyes but Jaime craved for her walls to come down.

"I like what we're doing right now..." She seemed to be sniffing his scent. Jaime liked the thought that she was. "...laying here... uhm...holding each other."

"Do you not mind everyone else?"

Brienne shook her head and to his delight, she answered almost inaudibly, "I like that they know."

Jaime relished at Brienne's secret possessiveness of him. He held her tighter, making her understand his possessiveness as well, and kissed the top of her head.

"I like this, too. And I like showing off that I like this."

Jaime watched Brienne close her eyes.

"I love you, husband," she murmured so lowly that Jaime only barely understood it. That didn't lessen the impact of her words though. Jaime had to choke a sob.

"I love you, as well, wife," he replied, resting his lips on the top of her head. "So, _so_  much."

When he pulled back a little, he spotted the upward curl of her lips once more.

Somehow, even without her dazzling blue orbs, her smile became sweeter than before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or AKA the first time Jaime sees Brienne smile
> 
> I'm hoping you're all having a wonderful holidays so far.
> 
> Love you guys. Leave a review. <3 <3 ~


	24. Dragonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime comes face to face with the undead dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little warning. I thought and wrote this on the spot at 3 am on a phone so didn't proofread this well.

The ground shook harder than ever and Jaime's spine shivered- no, _rattled_. He whipped his head around and found a large frosted beast. Jaime had seen Viserion before he turned into one of _them_. He had been white but never frosted. When the White Walker had turned one of their weapons against them, Jaime's stomach plummeted. Looking at the result in close proximity, his skin crawled.

 _This is it_. Jaime thought he was ready to die. After all the weight of guilt he had carried, he thought that when his time came, he would be ready. But he found himself praying to gods he long ago stopped believing in that the beast would turn away and find another target.

"Jaime!"

Even the howling winds couldn't block out that unmistakable voice.

 _Go_ , he should have said. But all that left his lips was his ragged breathing. He should have screamed at her to go and run, but Jaime had always been selfish. If he was going to go, he wanted to see the woman he loved one last time. He had admitted as much to his late friend, Bronn.

Viserion's icy gaze was upon him and Jaime didn't waste any more time.

"Brienne," he wheezed, his head turning to meet sapphire eyes.

"Jaime, run!" she pleaded. Her eyes looked shiny.

He only shook his head in response. Their Valyrian steel would prove useless against a dragon, but perhaps someone else would find use for them. The undead were far from them anyway. Some of the living were still near.

"Brienne, go and take Widow's Wail with you," he instructed, his duty finally winning out.

"I won't leave you," she protested.

"Stop being a bloody stubborn wench and go! Do it for the realm."

He watched as Brienne's chin wobbled. Too slowly, she nodded her head. She reached out for his sword when Viserion gave a loud roar. Jaime knew it was too late. He stared intensely into Brienne's eyes, trying to convey as much emotion as he can. He wanted to curse her for being stupid, to hold her for comfort, to tell her how he achingly loved her. But the words that was about to leave his lips was to order her to throw Oathkeeper to the direction of the nearest living person.

But before he could say anything, something boomed and Jaime turned his attetion once more to the dragon. Viserion's head crackled with bright red, orange and yellow, which probably caused the dragon to turn its attention to the sky. Jaime could spot a green blur through the blizzard, then more flames erupted around Viserion's body.

Jaime's attention was on Brienne once more and he saw a relief and- by the miracle of the gods- a smile. She had seen _him_ , too.

Rhaegal had recovered.

The tide of war was in their favor once more.

With only the knowledge of the undead steering clear from Viserion and the said dragon walking away from them, Jaime did something foolish.

He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her.

It was short and chaste. It probably was more of a peck than a kiss. But it warmed him a little more.

And judging from the redness of Brienne's face, she must be warm as well.

Finally regaining his senses, Jaime looked to the direction of the enemy.

Everywhere, dragonfire exploded spectacularly. Viserion was nearly vanquished, along with massive armies of the undead.

Some of the enemies slipped through though and Jaime knew that Bran Stark was counting on them to finish off the residue.

"For a new future for Westeros," Jaime said with a grin, Widow's Wail poised in his left hand. That small act of intimacy between him and Brienne made Jaime's body thrum with a new energy.

"For a new future for Westeros." Brienne echoed beside him. He spared a quick glance and found her grinning stupidly despite everything. He found himself doing the same as well.

That was when he knew that it was the promise of hope and a new beginning that filled him with the power and will to fight on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically dragonfire explosions is my take on fireworks hahaahahaba
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!! May you have a blessed 2017! :3 ~


	25. Winter is Over Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne are in line to slide down an ice slide at Winter World. And it's fucking freezing.

"I... hate... you," Brienne hissed through clattering teeth.

  
"You l-love me, wench," Jaime replied.

  
They had both wanted to try spending Winterfest without winter. So they went to the Summer Isles for the year long sun.

  
It had been exhilarating experiencing another scenery, but a trip to the local amusement park with "Winter World" as one of their main attractions, made Jaime and Brienne miss home.

  
For about ten minutes.

  
They had thought that they developed a tolerance for the cold after spending days under the heat of the sun, so they refused the offer of buying gloves, scarves and earmuffs, only going inside with a long thermal coat to protect them from the temperature.

  
"We're going to die," Brienne groaned.

  
Another stupid decision, wanting to try the ice slide. They had thought the wait would be quick but the inflatable rings were distributed by batch. Twenty minutes freezing their asses off in line and the stupid things haven't returned. They could leave but it was an _ice slide_. The stubborn child in them was adamant.

  
"No we won't," Jaime declared. "Well, I won't. Not if I think about the shorts you're wearing under this coat."

  
Brienne felt her cheeks heat up. Add to the lack of other necessary winter accessories, they both wore shorts and tank tops only under the coat.

  
"Gods," he groaned, his lips close to her ear. "I'm just thinking about how I'm going to take you later at the hotel."

  
"Jaime! There are kids in here!"

  
But an elecricity spread through Brienne's entire body at his suggestion.

  
"I'm going to kiss you so hard against the door out the hallway," he continued whispering.

  
Brienne sputtered protests. Jaime tended to be openly affectionate, which Brienne liked very much and was secretly smug about it but blatant public displays of affection was drawing the line. She had discussed it with Jaime and he toned it a bit.

 

But at the moment, Jaime remained unperturbed and didn't cease his dirty talk.

  
"And when we finally get inside, I'm going to rip those shorts off of you. I'm going to fuck you with my one hand and will squeeze your glorious ass with the other."

  
"Jaime..." She meant to sound warning but her voice betrayed the wanton eagerness she was truly feeling.

  
"And you'll be saying my name just like that," Jaime said huskily. "Over and over... Louder and louder. And when..."

  
Suddenly, they hear a machine groan and creak. They immediately turned their attention to a rectangular hole. Out of it came a sort of platform bearing the inflatable rings. The children in front of them rushed to get their rings. Brienne sighed in relief. As they grabbed theirs, Jaime gave Brienne an contrite smile.

 

"Sorry. I thought the dirty talk would warm you up," he explained, before giving her a curious boyish expression. "Did it work?"

  
Though inappropriate, Jaime had definitely set her body on fire with his talk. She nodded and replied, "What about you?"

  
"It worked too well," he answered. "My crotch is on fire. Lucky this coat is long."

  
"Oh?" She was confused at first and then, it hit her, leaving her into a scarlet stuttering mess. "Oh... I... maybe we should stop with the... talk. I think we're both warm enough for the slide down."

  
"That's for the best."

  
While lining for the actual slide, Brienne suddenly turned to Jaime and touched her lips to his ear.

  
"I do expect your words are more than just talk?"

  
It had sounded so much sexier in Brienne's head and she felt embarrassed at her attempt to sound sexy.

  
But then Jaime groaned.

  
"Fuck Brienne! You're not helping."

  
Her thigh accidentally brushed against his groin and she definitely felt it.

  
She faced forward again but Jaime wrapped his arms around her.

  
Though the line to slide down was much faster than the line to wait for the inflatable rings, the promise of later she was feeling against her backside, not the cold, made her wish for a faster line.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a Christmas thing but I was too lazy to type it until now. XD Based on my first experience with snow, although fake snow, but still. It was -15°C and I thought my nose was gonna fall off but well, it was worth it waiting for ice slide. K bye. XD


	26. Mine to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bronn finds Lord of Casterly Rock sulking... or planning murder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay 2 updates in one day!

"Why are you sulking, Lord Lannister?"

  
Jaime turned around to glare at Bronn, who was smirking in amusement.

  
"I'm not _sulking_ ," Jaime protested.

  
The sellsword hummed in disbelief. "You're right. You look more like you're attempting murder. I wonder what has gotten your smallclothes twisted?"

  
Bronn followed Jaime's line of sight. Some feet away he spotted Lady Brienne, carrying her blonde little babe, with that red haired wildling in King Jon's council.

  
"Ah, I see," Bronn said with a snicker.

  
"Oh what a news, Ser Bronn of the Blackwater has eyes," Jaime spat in retaliation.

  
Bronn rolled the said parts.

  
"Oh wee one," they could hear Tormund say to the small bundle in Brienne's arms. "You're going to be strong like your mother one day. You'd make a fine warrior among the Free folk when you're as big as her."

  
The sellsword could see the lady's cheeks redden. He immediately turned to Lord Lannister who muttered, ' _as if'_ , curling his only hand into a tight fist.

  
"Why don't you go and break up the happy couple?" Bronn suggested mockingly, earning a glare from Jaime. Aside from whoring, watching Jaime Lannister, the most annoyingly handsome man of the Seven Kingdoms, get jealous was his favorite past time. It was a nice change, seeing as the Golden Lion always caught all the attention of the ladies.

  
"Can't," Jaime muttered. "She said I hog the baby too much."

  
"Did she threaten to cut your other hand or your cock?"

  
"No. She-" Jaime's words were cut short by something that's distracting him ahead. "Oh that's it!"

  
Bronn watched as the lord of Casterly Rock marched his way toward his lady love. When Bronn finally saw what had distracted the lord, he couldn't hold his laughter anymore. Gingerbeard had a hand clapped on Brienne's shoulder.

  
"Excuse me," Jaime said, not-so-gently shoving the wildling off of Brienne. He then proceeded to plant a long lingering kiss on her lips, that would undoubtedly end up heated had Brienne not brought the babe with her.

  
When he broke off, he wagged a finger at the baby, making strange cooing noises at it.

"Hello, my precious little Gally. Your father missed you so much."

Brienne rolled her eyes and stared apologetically at Tormund, who looked very much offended, over Jaime's head.

"Apologies, ser, Lord Jaime is very protective of the babe. He doesn't let anyone except me hold his son."

  
_It's not only the babe he's protective of_ , Bronn thought.

  
While the baby was distractedly playing with his father's outstretched finger, Jaime saw it as an opportunity to glare at Tormund.

  
Bronn sighed. He had to break this off before someone gets killed.

  
"Oi wildling," Bronn called out. At the sound of the offensive name, the man immediately redirected his dagger stare to the sellsword. "I think you're needed down by the courtyard."

  
"Fine," the wildling resigned, obviously seeing through the lie. "Shall I look forward to sparring with you later, m'lady?"

  
"If you play fair, maybe," Brienne replied with a mischievous smile. The baby in her arms let go of his father's finger and gurgled seemingly in agreement with his mother.

Thankfully, it left Tormund in a good mood as he gave a small quick bow and left.  
"You're not actually going to spar with him. Wildlings play dirty," Jaime berated her when the man was out of sight.

  
"It's good to get a feel on different opponents," Brienne argued, adjusting Gally in her arms.

  
"Oh, so you want to _feel_ him now?"

  
"What? No!" she sputtered, angry and confused. "Jaime, why would I- that's not what I meant and you know it."

  
"Someone is just insecure, milady," Bronn interjected, thinking again that someone might die if he doesn't intercede. Lord Lannister most likely.

  
"Bronn, go whoring or something," Jaime barked.

  
"Nah, marital arguments are more amusing."  
"Jaime," Brienne said so softly but it grabbed the Lannister's full attention nonetheless.

"Are you... jealous?" She said the last word as if it were in Dothraki or some other foreign tongue.

  
Jaime pointedly ignored her. Instead, he stared, with furrowed brows, a pout, and-by the seven- a blush, at the baby.

  
"Silly husband," Brienne sighed. Jaime wanted to glare at her but he was met with that heartbreakingly shy smile of hers that he couldn't help but smile back shyly. "I'm yours. I will always be yours."

  
Jaime looked like he was about to cry.

  
Bronn looked like he had just about enough.

  
"Well, no one got murdered today," Bronn declared. "My work here is done."

  
Bronn left slowly though, listening to the last remnants of their conversation.

  
"Jaime, I'm quite flattered you think I'm getting attention..."

  
"I don't think it, Brienne. I know."

  
"...and I think it's sweet that you want to fight every man in Westeros you think is interested..."

  
"Damn right."

  
"But please trust me that I love you very much and I can take care of myself and our little boy."

  
Jaime sighed. "I'm sorry. I do trust you, Brienne. I just... Oh Gally, it's the first time your father is free to love and have a family built on that love. Your father is new to this."

  
"Your father can get ridiculous, Galladon, but I love him very much anyway."

  
"I love you, lady wife."

  
Bronn groaned internally and walked faster.

They were sweeter than summerwine and fluffier than the finest pillows ever since they were betrothed, and it got worse when they wed.

  
They were not as amusing to poke fun at as before.

  
Just then, Bronn heard a male and female voice arguing over the clanging of metals at the forge.

  
Maybe Bronn can still find more amusement after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New headcanon that when JB marries, he will turn his attention to taunting Gendrya.
> 
> Anyway, I really do think Jaime will be the possessive and jealous type but I think not to the extent that he is mistrustful of Brienne because he clearly trusts her. I think the possessiveness is kind of a habit in a way. Basing these on his experiences with Cersei.
> 
> Hoped you enjoyed this because I really died doing this lol.


	27. Beauty and the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyrion rewrites Beauty and the Beast. Jaime is the lead while Cersei and Brienne share the lead role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the spam XD

It was the climactic scene.

Cersei could hear all the maidens wait in anticipation. Even she couldn't wait. She watched Jaime, handsome as ever, reciting his lines. Beside him was the ugly cow, Brienne.

Only the gods know why they wrote a weird version of Beauty and the Beast for the play this year (it was more like Shrek but, of course, the grotesque little script writer and director, Tyrion, had a thing for fucked up things) and why they cast that bumbling oaf for one half of the lead role but it hardly mattered. Cersei was great while that cow was decent.

"Rohanne..." Jaime said, mustering all the love and affection in that one line and Cersei could hear all the ladies swoon.

Cersei wouldn't though. She was waiting for the awkward kiss that was gonna come after. Brienne had refused to practice that kiss, declaring that if she played the role of the maiden, she shouldn't be experienced at kissing. But Cersei knew better.

As written, Jaime swooped in and pressed his lips against hers. The lights dimmed and Cersei readied herself for Rohanne's final transformation. And she will be kissing Jaime's lips herself.

The stage got darker but Cersei could see Jaime attempting to kiss the cow deeper.

It was finally pitch black and Cersei ran across the stage to replace the fumbling beast. But she remained in her spot.

"Jaime, I have to go," Brienne whispered but she made a muffled squeaking sound after.

"Hey, beast, get the fuck off my limelight," Cersei hissed.

"Go away, Cersei," Jaime hissed in return and then began moaning.  
The few seconds were almost up and the lights would go back up. Cersei took a split second decision to leave, but not without knocking down a column prop purposely.

Light flooded the stage and Jaime lingered on her lips a little while longer before finally extracting himself. For a minute, he was afraid that he would punch her, but she only looked at him in question with those dazzling sapphire eyes of hers.

Jaime was slowly becoming aware of the confused murmuring of the crowd and knew he had to make that split second decision as more than just an excuse to kiss his best friend in front of the whole school.

"We fell in love with each other even at our worst," Jaime said. "The curse must have seen that and wanted it to stay that way."

"Oh my gods," Tyrion laughed somewhere backstage. Brienne must have heard it because she was glaring at Jaime, with a hint of hurt and betrayal in it. Of course she'd think it was an elaborate prank, regardless of the fact they've been best friends for years.

Jaime held her tighter though, hoping to let her know of his sincerity.

"I don't care if you remain like this, Rohanne. I love you, forever and always." Jaime knew he sounded cheesy but he needed Brienne to understand.

"But Jai-Duncan," she replied, and Jaime fought a smile at how clever Brienne was. "I'm ugly and awkward and taller than you now."

"None of that matters. All that matters is I love you, you love me, and we'll be great rulers to the kingdom... that is if you wish to marry me."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as they gazed at each other. Jaime had told her in practice that if she's nervous, she can simply just look at him to forget the crowd. It had been genuine advice but to him, it turned to gasoline, fueling feelings he had kept hidden for years. Her scarlet face contrasting with her piercing blue orbs fascinated him, made his heart swell.

"Yes," she finally breathed out. "I will marry you."

As the crowd cheered loudly, he kissed her quickly and gently this time. While the audience roared, he took it as an opportunity to whisper against her ear.

"I love you, Brienne."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dramatically spins* Reviews are loooove <3 <3 ~


	28. Unconventional Vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime says something unconventional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because pick up lines... (I know this is so last year but these are honestly fun to make) (And yes, I know it's a crappy picture. XD)
> 
>  

They stand in front of the weirwood tree. Jaime thought to honor the traditions of the North by marrying in front of the tree, though it is a septon that still conducts the ceremony.

It is a small gathering, only the Starks, a few lords who seemed to truly like him or are curious, and the truly loyal Lannister men, in attendance. The winds of winter blow all around them but the steam from the pools just mere inches near the bottom of their feet gives some semblance of warmth. Although Jaime is certain it isn’t the pools that made him warm. A memory of a bath in a large cursed castle long ago makes him hot and sweaty beneath his layers of fur.

As the septon says the dull words of the Faith, Jaime barely listens. His gaze is firmly locked on the sapphire one before him. He sees those blue eyes swirl with battling emotions- just as the steamy pool and the Northern winds were. But Jaime tries to look at his soon-to-be lady wife with love and warmth and sincerity.

His stare must have been intense because Brienne only looks confused, then her cheeks bloom into a lovely shade of scarlet, blotting her face like ink on linen. It isn’t pretty, but it is _her_.

“Say the words,” the septon finally says.

Brienne begins to open her mouth to say the words but Jaime stops her with a raise from his golden hand. For a moment, Jaime is reminded of a heart wrenching goodbye while he stood over the battlements of a castle. But he shakes the grim memory away, reminding himself of this day- this happy day.

“Brienne, are you Oathkeeper?” he says.

Brienne knits her brows and for a minute Jaime thinks he might have said the wrong thing- the thing that hurt her.

To his surprise, she rolls her eyes. “Because my spine is forged from the steel or I can cut men with one stroke?”

Jaime can hear a few from the small crowd snigger but he simply smiles.

“No,” he says, his grin widening and gaze briefly flickering to the sword at her hip. “Because I’m yours. I will always be yours.”

“Straightforward. That’s much better, Lannister!” Jaime hears Bronn whoop in the crowd. He accidentally spilled to the sellsword one drunken night on the _romantic lines_ he had used on Brienne. Needless to say, Bronn thought they were the most terrible lines he had ever heard and that Jaime was all face and no charm. Perhaps this is what led Jaime to say it now.

“You are ridiculous, Jaime!” Brienne laughs breathily.

“Yes, I am,” Jaime replies. “And now you’re marrying this ridiculous man.”

“Erm…” The septon isn’t really sure what just happened but this whole thing was already unorthodox so he goes along with it anyway. “May I announce Lord Jaime Lannister and his wife, Lady Brienne Lannister.”

As the crowd did varying degrees of congratulations- from polite claps to loud cheers- Jaime pulls his new wife closer and kisses her as if he can kiss every fear and doubt away.

He pulls back when his lungs needed air

“I love you so much, my Lady Lannister.”

“I love you, too, Jaime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally, this is the only one closest to 500 I could do. I'm super talkative whyyy.
> 
> One day, I will write something emotional and not crack but today is not that day. XD


	29. Against Protocol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is posting their one sentence fics from JBO. I suppose I'll post a few everyday.  
> 1/2 update for today

"This is so against protocol," Brienne, the liason officer to Jaime Lannister, the delegate from the Westerlands, moaned as the latter ripped her blouse open and rain her bare chest with his kisses.


	30. Handshake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 today.

The gorgeous Mr. Lannister holds up his left hand and Brienne almost forgot that she had to still use her right hand to professionally shake the important man's only hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was taking protocol seminar when I wrote the first ones. xD


	31. Backrub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> update 1/2 today

"What about a backrub, Your Grace," Sir Jaime says as his hands brush at her shoulders and Brienne felt herself melt at the touch of her Westeros Summit simulation partner for half a day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legit happened to me (with some hot guy I met in a seminar) and I nearly died xD


	32. Dork

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 today

_Why did this hot blond, emerald-eyed professional-looking demigod have to be excited over food, wear suspenders, and have crazy socks? That cuteness just made him a million times hotter_ , Brienne thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was still fangirling over that same guy the time and well, he was a dork. And Nik is a dork. And Jaime is a dork.


	33. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something fluffy :3 (and not seminar related anymore xD)

Jaime almost screamed but when he found Brienne snuggling beside him, he relaxed, knowing that, unlike his nightmare, she will never leave him for another man and that he is enough for her.


	34. Prettier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has to be one of my faves xD

"Who's prettier?" Brienne jokingly asked to which Jaime replied, "I'd say me, but your eyes out-pretty every part of me, so I guess that'd be you."


	35. Mix-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2

Without looking at the large woman's sapphire eyes, Jaime held out a lacy thong and muttered, "This got mixed with my laundry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mehehehehehehehe


	36. Bag of Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2

When Jaime kissed Brienne in the middle of a sparring session and the lady reciprocated the kiss, Bronn smiled smugly as Edd handed him a bag of gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon is Bronn and Edd Tolett are JB vs TB shippers. (our Bronn is the best tho ;) )


	37. Sulking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

Brienne watched Jaime sulk at the condition of his hair, and couldn't resist kissing the high forehead of her pouting and now balding husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno... show!Tywin has a receeding hairline and Jaime was said to look a lot like Tywin xD


	38. How do I live?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 today

As Brienne wrapped her arms around Jaime, the lace of her sleeves tingled his neck and Jaime wondered how he'll live without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing... from the title to the actual fic, is inspired by the song, Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At the Disco. The song is just so sexy.


	39. Photograph

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

Jaime couldn't stop staring at the picture of the astonishing sapphire eyes of that ugly wench he accidentally took a photo of in the fair yesterday.


	40. Hidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2

"Brienne, stop worrying. I'm sure this gown is going to hide you well," Jaime hissed frantically as he draped his skirt over his girlfriend who was roughly pulling down his smallclothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed Jaime in a dress and smut so well... xD
> 
> (and yeah, lame title)


	41. Polls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2

After Brienne placed a long lingering kiss on Jaime's lips, she assured her sulking fiance, "I'm not going to let polls dictate how I feel. I'm yours. I will always be yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me being passive aggressive @ twitter polls on who Brienne should end up with.


	42. Frustration

Bronn was ready to tear his hair out for two reasons: 1) Winter was here and he still wasn't given that castle and wife he was promised 2) The unresolved sexual tension from the two idiot blonde warriors sitting across him was beyond frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same, Bronn. Same.


	43. April 1st

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2

Remembering it was April 1st, Jaime frantically ran to Brienne's cubicle, hoping she hadn't read the card on the flowers containing a cheesy poem confessing his feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RUN JAIME!!!!


	44. Awkward Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2

"Okay, Jaime. I love you, too, but did you really have to confess to me by sending a human-dinosaur gay porn novel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... weird things in chat and most esp the internet.  
> I leave it to your imagination how Jaime could possibly confess using that novel xD


	45. Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

Roses are blue.  
Violets are blue.  
Sorry, Brienne.  
I was thinking of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brother and I got bored and made a bunch of 'roses are red' poetry xD


	46. Rubies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2

"I had it fixed! Worry not about those missing rubies anymore," Jaime said, presenting Oathkeeper---now with a sapphire-eyed lion hilt---to his lady wife, Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I read this idea in a fanfic somewhere xD


	47. Not Here!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

When Jaime snapped open Brienne's pants button, she smacked his hand, shrieking, "Jaime! We're not having sex in our children's blanket fort!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was living in a blanket fort for 2 days hahahahaha


	48. A Different Image

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2

Jaime Lannister, son of the feared Tywin Lannister, murderer of the Targaryen king he swore to protect, and incestuous father of the three bastards that tore up the realm, was kneeling in front the ugliest woman of Westeros, Brienne of Tarth, gently holding her hand and looking up at her with bright lovesick puppy eyes, as if she was the most beautiful lady he had ever laid eyes upon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't know how to title this.


	49. Bad Edit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 1/2 today

Brienne usually rolled her eyes at the dick pics Jaime sent (she liked it better in real life and inside her) but with Jaime so far away on her birthday, she laughed so hard at the photo with a balloon frame, cakeslice (with birthday candle) resting on his balls, and his soft cock with its head having a party hat on and just below it was a crudely drawn sideview sad face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So opposite of what this month's about but Brienne is so far away from Jaime. xD


	50. Wet Tarth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Update 2/2 today

"I can't have my map soiled. Someone clean that up!" Cersei ordered, pointing at the slimy wet spot, on her large Westeros map, that was Tarth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That giant Westeros map was just asking for it. xD May or may not be a continuation of that comic thing I made on tumblr.
> 
> I think that's the last of my one-sentences. (might write more) Still working on my other crap... trying...


	51. Fit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tries to finish one fic*  
> *thinks of this instead*

Jaime had always thought Cersei fitted nicely against him, but he only realized much later how much nicer it was that he fit snugly against Brienne.


	52. After Twenty-Two Days...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been twenty-two days since Jaime last heard from his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on something I saw in the news a few hours ago.
> 
> NOT ANGST (I think)
> 
> I wrote this rather quickly because it's my last day of unlimited wifi and I haz school and I didn't wanna leave in angst hahaha.
> 
> Mentions of terrorism. I also don't know much about evacuations stuff and medical stuff.

Twenty-two days.

It had been twenty-two days since he had last heard her voice; twenty-two days since dropping everything he had to go to Dorne; twenty-two days of hating himself for allowing her to visit friends without him; twenty-two days of convincing himself that she was still alive.

Jaime had been caught--again--near the checkpoint. He had long ago stopped trying to convince the military to allow him through just to bring her food and water. It didn't matter if he was heading in the midst of a warzone of a terrorist invasion. He needed to see his wife, breathe in her scent, feel every perfect inch of her.

"We may have news about your wife, Mr. Lannister."

Jaime scrambled to his feet.

"How is she?" he asked desperately. The volunteer rescuer kept a blank face.

"If you please follow me, ser. We need you to identify her first," the man simply replied before spinning on his heel. Jaime wasted no time in following him.

His heart beat rapidly. He knew the military had gotten another batch of rescuees today but everyone had ignored his questions. All he could do was sit on the hallway outside the evacuation center and wait for news on his wife. Or come up with a plan to sneak past the checkpoint again if there was none.

But now, it may not be necessary.

The hospital was only next door to the evacuation center that had been his home for nearly a month. Basically, he had been living almost homeless with only a sleeping bag to shield him from the cold nights. People tried to make small talk with him but his short answers, that would probably beat his wife's laconic nature, made them give up quickly.

Jaime was by no means an optimist but he refused to believe his wife was dead. _She's too stubborn to die_ , he thought.

As soon as he entered the hospital, he felt the weight of sorrow and death. Doctors and nurses were rushing about but the rescuer ushered him deeper in the hospital.

As he passed by the too full rooms, he tried to ignore the smell of blood and sweat, look away from the vacant stares that looked deader than the person they probably lost, and block out the wails of those seeing their corpses for the first time. Jaime didn't allow himself to wonder if that's what he'll be met.

The rescuer stopped in front of a door where a doctor just came out.

"This is Jaime Lannister," the rescuer introduced.

"Dr. Maegyr," she introduced herself. Jaime shook her outstretched hand and hastily introduced his name. "So, you're the man everyone said has been frantically searching for his wife."

"Get on with it," Jaime told her impatiently.

The doctor mumbled something about trying to make things light but Jaime wasn't in the mood.

"The woman had several wounds from stray bullets and scattered debris," she stated. "When she came to the hospital, she had a fever from the infection that festered in her wounds. She was delirious, mumbling incoherently when she arrived. We couldn't understand what she was saying until we began treating her. She was saying one name over and over again..." The doctor gave him a small smile and Jaime held his breath. "...Jaime."

Shakily, he let his breath go and the the doctor smiled further.

"We treated her infection and she's now stable--"

That was all Jaime needed to hear. He hurried inside the room. Other patients were inside, having hushed conversations with a watcher beside them, but Jaime's eyes were skimming over them until he spotted one lone patient.

"Brienne..." he whispered, his feet absentmindedly taking long strides to the bed.

Still mindful enough of others, he resisted the urge to shout her name, but it resulted in tears pricking his eyes.

He spotted the familiar mess of blonde first. A little while longer, he recognized her freckled face. Her cheek was covered in a huge bandage and Jaime resisted the urge to kill something.

As he was beside her bed, Jaime's eyes first flickered to where it seemed her flat chest was located under the hospital blanket. He sighed in relief when he saw it rise and fall.

"She wasn't seriously injured."

Jaime nearly jumped. He hadn't heard the doctor follow him inside.

Without looking away from his sleeping wife, he asked the doctor, "May I..."

The doctor hummed in approval.

Jaime hastily sat on the vacant seat provided next to the bed. He slipped his hand under the blanket and groped around until he could find her hand. When he did, his other hand soon joined it, sandwiching her hand between both of his.

He gently squeezed and almost immediately, he felt a twitching between his palms.

"Jaime..." she groaned softly.

He half stood up, leaning over Brienne.

"I'm here, Brienne. I'm here, my love."

As if those were the magic words, he witnessed Brienne flutter her eyes open, his heart fluttering along when her blue eyes came into full view.

She blinked rapidly before she seemed to focus, Jaime's biggest stupidest grin being the first thing she saw.

"Wife..." he breathed. "You're alive..."

Before Brienne could reply, Jaime pressed his lips onto hers. His mouth was still the whole time. He didn't open his mouth or dart his tongue like he normally would. It didn't have the heat he usually put into kisses but this one was warm and welcomed and home.

A few drops of tears rained on Brienne's face before Jaime finally pulled back. He was smiling and crying simultaneously.

"Brienne, I'm sor--"

"Shut up, husband," she scolded weakly. "I'm here and you're here and it's all that matters."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically, the guy's wife was in the warzone and he wanted so bad to go to her but the military won't allow him and he waited for 22 days until she got rescued (it's what I understood). She was badly injured and a friend of hers who went out for help never returned but she's okay.
> 
> *bats eyelashes* Am I slightly forgiven?


	53. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne and the kids surprise Jaime.

"Go on," Brienne nudged the three children inside. In a neat file, Podrick, Pia, and Peck went inside Jaime's office, bringing balloons, a cake, and a wrapped box, respectively.

Briefly, Brienne's kind eyes met Jaime's shocked eyes. His smile quirking up playfully before muting it to a soft smile at the three kids looking up innocently at him.

"Happy Father's Day!" the three chorused.

Jaime's heart melted. This was the first father's day since he and Brienne adopted these three and he had unfortunately forgotten about it due to a coming deadline in his work.

But they brought the celebration to him and he'd never seen a sweeter gesture in his life.

Gingerly, he took each item from each child and set it on his desk. The three squirmed back to their places like they were pariah and Jaime felt a pang of pity for these once abandoned children.

Forgetting the pricetag of his pants, he knelt down to their level and opened his arms widely.

"Come here, you three," he told them and the three kids scrambled into his embrace. He inquired them who did what and the three chattered excitedly about colors and choices and everything.

Eventually, he looked up and found Brienne staring lovingly at them.

"I'm sure you deserve a thank you as well, wife. Come on."

Blushing, Brienne went over to them and knelt, encasing all three children. Jaime managed to hug her as well and his hold got tighter.

"We may not share blood," he told the kids. "But I promise that I'll be the best father I can be and make you feel like you're truly family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some father's day fluff I wrote on the spot at 1 am (oops. It's not Sunday anymore here lol) so yeah it's.not that good.
> 
> This is also a shoutout to those who adopted kids. You are so Dragonstone!


	54. Choose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime is tired of everything.

"I'm just so tired," Jaime whispered shakily. "Whatever I do I'm disappointing someone--my father or my sister or my brother. I can't win."

Brienne covered his tensed hand with hers and she can immediately feel him relaxing umder her touch. Her other hand gently brushed away the few tears escaping his eyes.

"Maybe it's time you choose yourself," she told him. "Choose what makes you happy."

Something shifted in Jaime's expression. He stared at her with something she couldn't name, but it left Brienne frozen and warm at the same time.

After a long time, Jaime smiled.

"Alright," he said before leaning over to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for personal and fandom reasons. xD


	55. Something Just Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime was supposed to be Brienne's perfect knight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the song, "Something Just Like This" by The Chainsmokers feat. Coldplay  
> (which I've been listening to a lot lately and ze feeels)

Everything was a disaster.

This was supposed to be the perfect night. Jaime was supposed to be Brienne's perfect knight. 

But the flamethrower for the dragon display glitched, setting fire to the flammable castle backdrop...

And the banner...

And his fake armor.

Then the overhead sprinklers went off and everything, including Jaime was soaked.

He'd had it all planned out.

When Brienne was going to enter, wearing the blue dress he'd made for her, Jaime was going to walk toward her and make those gallant knight speeches that made her swoon since she was twelve. He was going to hand her a blue winter rose (Not a red rose, Jaime always remembered.) before the parchment-like banner dropped, asking Brienne to be his girlfriend in a calligraphy font.

Beneath her facade, Brienne longed to be treated like a princess and he will. Jaime was not the knight she liked in the romance medieval stories. There were times Jaime failed to rescue her. Times when he felt like he wasn't enough. He was sinful and tainted while she was goodness and light. He often wondered why she was best friends with the likes of him. Or why he'd been blinded by loving another woman, who'd only been using him, for so long that he didn't know the woman of his dreams had been right in front of him all along.

"I swear I'm going to punch whoever the fuck sent me that stupid dress!"

 _Fucking great_ , Jaime thought hearing that familiar growl echoing the auditorium he rented. He was hoping that Brienne would just laugh at him and they can pretend this never happened and go back to being just friends but now she might never speak to him again.

Jaime was contemplating on running away when a pair of sapphire eyes entered, freezing him into place.

"Jaime?"

Brienne wasn't wearing the dress but a hoodie, loose jeans, and running shoes.

"Surprise?" he squeaked.

Brienne was surveying the whole auditorium, focusing on the set-up behind him. Jaime supposed he should be grateful that at least only the 'friend' part burned down in the banner. 'Will you be my girl' was still pretty understandable and saved him from having to say the words himself. He was too embarrassed.

"Oh my gods, what happened to you?"

Jaime inhaled sharply when Brienne started taking off her hoodie then blushed when he realized how deep in the gutter his mind had been when he saw she had a shirt underneath.

"You idiot! You're going to catch a cold," she said, tossing the hoodie at him then turning around.

Jaime unclasped his burnt cloak.

"What in the name of the Seven is all this?" Brienne asked. "Why is everything on fire?"

"The flamethrower kinda malfunctioned," he explained as he took off his tunic, pausing a bit when he was completely shirtless. To his dismay, Brienne didn't look. With a sigh, he pulled down the hoodie and told her he was done.

She turned around, looking half frustrated and half confused. "Jaime, I thought some moron was pranking me again. That blue dress..."

"...was from me."

She looked at him incredulously.

"W-why?"

Jaime sighed. "You like all those knights and shit. I thought you'd appreciate all this." Seeing her baffled expression remaining, he smacked himself in the face. "Gah! I was being silly. As if I'll ever live up to your standards. You probably deserve better than me anyway."

Brienne was gaping but her confusion became softer.

"But Jaime. Those are just stories. You're... real."

"But Renly..."

She shrugged. "He's nice but I told you, I don't like him anymore. Besides, he's not exactly the one who has stuck by me since forever."

"But the dress. You hated the dress."

"I didn't say I hated it. I just really thought I was being pranked again. You should've expected how I was going to react."

"I was hoping that you'll at least come here anyway out of curiosity. I had to risk it. One look at your body and I was certain that I got your measurements right." Internally smug, he watched Brienne blush before continuing. "And I carefully put into consideration your personal tastes and what would suit you."

With her blush still remaining, Brienne managed to speak. "It is a beautiful dress. I should've known only you would know me well enough on what I like."

Jaime gave a rueful smile before frowning. "I still ruined everything. I had this speech memorized but I'm not in the mood anymore."

"Jaime, that doesn't sound like you. You don't memorize."

"But it had all those Ser Duncan references you like."

"It doesn't matter," she explained firmly. "You're Jaime Lannister. You're a prick. You have no table manners. Or a sense of personal space. You are quick witted. You are not impulsive but you procrastinate a lot. You're annoying and sometimes even the bane of my existence but you are there when I need you. You are loyal. You protect those who need to be protected. I like you for being you."

"But I'm not always there. I didn't protect you at that party."

Hurt flashed in Brienne's eyes but only for a split second. Her stare looked like the resolve of Valyrian steel. "I handled it fine. I don't need rescuing when I can handle it on my own. I don't want a prince."

"Well, what do you want?"

Brienne looked thoughtful for a moment and Jaime held his tongue, allowing her to contemplate. After a while, she stepped forward. Brienne was so close that their chests were almost touching. She threaded her fingers through his and Jaime felt electricity jolting along his arm.

Then, Brienne smiled.

"This," she said before she closed the distance with a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... kisses on the end again. :3


	56. The Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne receives a gift from her preschool rival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *May* have been inspired by the same photo Ruby was inspired by in her last installment. ;)

Brienne was startled by the toy sword shoved in front of her face. She peered past the plastic hilt and found a pouting blushing Jaime refusing to make eye contact with her.

She glared at him warily. Brienne and Jaime always fought over the swords in the toy chest.

"That's Oathkeeper," he informed her. "It's now yours. So you don't have to go near that stupid red haired boy to borrow his ax all the time."

 


	57. Nickname

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime accidentally gets a nickname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a comment by Seas on the previous installment.

Jaime wasn't sure how Brienne had made that typo but as soon as Bronn and Tyrion saw the text, he knew that nickname was going to be stuck forever.

"Hey Laime!" Bronn greeted, more smacking than patting his back.

"How fares my dearest brother, Laime!" Tyrion added.

Jaime stretched his lips to smile at them but his teeth was grinding.

"Seriously, it was just a typo!" Brienne protested. Jaime turned his head to her. She looked more embarrassed than he did. Only Brienne wouldn't take advantage of a _lame_  joke that she accidentally created. Oddly, it made his heart skip a beat.

Jaime sighed. It wasn't like he didn't call her _wench_  a lot. Perhaps, he can tolerate the nickname... for debt reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I told Ruby in the previous installment, my muse gets a JB fic boner everywhere hahahahaha


	58. Groupchat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The things you read in a groupchat...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I screenshot a bunch of prompts from otpprompts on tumblr a few weeks ago and thought I should finally write out one of them. I'll post the prompt below because spoilers.

Bronn practically made himself at home in Jaime's flat.

Their group leader, Brienne, insisted that they still work on their report together. She created a Facehall groupchat for their trio so they could talk while Brienne was away in Tarth to attend to some matter for a few days. Poor girl was going to kill herself from overworking but it wasn't his place to say.

Besides, Jaime "the lovesick fool" Lannister already had a lot to say to her. And by say, it was basically numerous protests about how they could handle it or how Brienne should take it easy blah blah blah. If Bronn hadn't known how in denial these two are, he would've mistaken them as a couple--a couple who hadn't fucked yet and wanted to do so very badly.

Jaime, being the chivalrous bastard that he is, had also insisted that Bronn should stay with him for a few days. His little brother was over another girl's place because of a group project as well. From what he heard, Tyrion was damned lucky. He scored Sansa Stark and Margaery Tyrell as groupmates, the latter rumored to be rather _adventurous_.

Meanwhile Bronn was stuck being a third wheeler to the most oblivious not quite a couple.

Well, it was a good thing he got intelligent groupmates anyway. He did try to genuinely contribute but he simply couldn't catch up. They were getting into a heated debate about the Starks vs the Lannisters and Bronn was just so done.

He decided to put on his earphones and take advantage of Jaime's fast Wi-Fi to watch some porn.

...

Bronn wasn't sure how many videos he'd been watching but his head was beginning to swirl from staring too much at the screen. His overstimulated brain seemed to be making him hear the moans and groans in real life.

But that couldn't be.

The only person in the room with him was Jaime Lannister and he was...

Something crashed.

Startled, Bronn looked up from an orgy lead by the Red Viper to find the living room empty. Bronn heard the bathroom door slam shut.

Bronn decided maybe he should skim the chat and form some thoughts of his own based on what he might understand.

He paused his video then opened the groupchat, named War of the Five Kings by Jaime. He still didn't understand much about it. Their names changed though. Jaime as "half a god half a pest", Brienne was "wench", and Bronn was "sellsword 24k magic".

Eventually, they got to the point where they talked about the Maid of Tarth who escorted the Kingslayer back to King's Landing. Their names have been lost in history and only their relations to Brienne's and Jaime's family respectively was pretty much the only solid record left. Bronn was a lowkey romantic and he mused himself that this was destiny. Bronn was certain that Maid of Tarth wasn't a maid when she arrived in King's Landing.

At that point in the chat, Bronn began reading their messages thoroughly.

_half a god half a pest: **I have pretty good ideas wat went down in that roadtrip ;)**_

_wench **:** **Jaime, stop.**_

_half a god half a pest: **They mustve made sweet sweet love mmmm... :***_

_wench: **Jaime, let's stick to the facts.**_

_half a god half a pest: **I am! Just a lonely man and woman. dont tell me nothing intimate transpired bet. the 2.**_

_wench: **the kingslayer knows no honor. My ancestor has better standards than that.**_

_half a god half a pest: **hmmm didn't he kill the mad king? emphasis on MAD**_

_wench: **still... he's been rumored to be having an incestuous affair with his sister.**_

_half a god half a pest: **just rumors bri.**_

_half a god half a pest: **anyway, just imagine a lonely man and woman.**_

_half a god half a pest: **maybe fighting on a bridge like a sparring session or he tried to escape? they were both knights after all.**_

_wench: **jaime no.**_

_half a god half a pest: **then they get a thrill from all that fighting and suddenly they were kissing.**_

_wench: **staaaaahhhppp!!!!**_

_half a god half a pest: **and they're slowly stripping each other's armor until they were neeeeekiiiiddd.**_

_wench: **ugh can u not**_

_half a god half a pest: **and he stabs her...**_

_wench: **that's a rather grim plot twist**_

_half a god half a pest: **...in her cunt...**_

_half a god half a pest: **...over and over again with his *sword*. ;)**_

_wench: **WTF JAIME PLS.**_

_half a god half a pest: **And she screams and he screams**_

_wench: **I'm going away now.**_

_half a god half a pest: **in pleasure**_

_half a god half a pest: **CUM ON BRIENNE**_

_wench: **That was a terrible joke Jaime.**_

_wench: **Jaime f I go out 2 dinner with u wen I get back, will u pls stop with the innuendos IN OUR GROUP CHAT!!!**_

_half a god half a pest: **Not until u take a hint on wat I wanna do 2 u. ;)**_

_wench: **JAIME IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THAT.**_

_half a god half a pest: **i jus wanna see how far your freckles go**_

_half a god half a pest: **An how red u can turn when i sheathe my sword inside u.**_

_half a god half a pest: **gods. i can jus imagine u sayinf my name over and over.**_

_wench: **jaime...**_

_half a god half a pest: **fuck! u can even b on top and ride me**_

_wench: **JAIME THIS IS THE GROUP CHAT NOT OUR CHAT**_

_wench: **WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME????**_

_wench: **SHIT HOW THE FUCK DID I CONFUSE THIS**_

_wench: **OH GODS HOW DO I DELETE**_

_wench: **FUUUUCK I CAN'T DELETE BRONN IS GONNA SEE THIS**_

_wench: **WHERE ARE YOU BRONN IS READING THIS ISN'T HE??**_

_wench: **I FUCKING SWEAR IF YOU'RE BOTH MAKING FUN OF ME RN I'M GOING TO KICK YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS GROUP GOOD FUCKING LUCK**_

_wench: **OH GODS BRONN *IS*READING THIS!!! JAAAAIIIIMMEEEE!!!!**_

_wench: **JAIMEI CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR HISTORY REPORT. I'LL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU**_

At the bottom, Bronn found that she left the chat. He also saw that Jaime had seen only until up to his own message.

Bronn huffed irritatingly. He didn't want to fail and Brienne was the best there is. He tried to message her but saw Brienne was "active 2 minutes ago".

Timely, Bronn heard the telltale shout of pleasure from the direction of Jaime's bathroom and he waited patiently until Jaime came out.

As soon as he appeared, Bronn spoke. "I'm glad you finally grew a pair and courted your lady but you might want to call her now."

Jaime looked confused, then surprised, then confused again. Bronn rolled his eyes and told him to check the chat. Jaime strode to his laptop and Bronn watched his face pale.

"Fuck! Curse all these many active group chats," Jaime hissed. Bronn always wondered why every family, friendship circle, and class had to have a groupchat. "Gods! This is what I get for naming her wench in about four of them."

Jaime wasted no time in calling Brienne afterward. It took several tries. The stubborn woman likely ended his calls. Lover boy was even more stubborn though. Finally, relief washed over Jaime's face and it was Bronn's cue to continue watching the orgy he paused.

He couldn't concentrate though. For some reason, he found his groupmate's reaction more fascinating. Jaime looked like a puppy as he tried explaining the situation. Then, he looked flustered. No doubt he was trying to explain why he'd gone for a long time. His face went back to desperation until slowly but surely, he was relaxing until he was grinning goofily. Then, without breaking his smile, Jaime removed the phone from his ear, clicked it, and did the dumbest and most ungraceful victory dance that should give Bronn more chances with women.

Seeing how happy his friend looked though, Bronn knew Jaime was not going to entertain other women.

Bronn shook his head fondly as he went back to watching his video.

_Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt:Imagine your OTP/OT3 working on a class project together, but instead of taking notes they're using the their notebooks/laptops/whatever to write cute notes back and forth to eachother. Bonus points if one of them starts writing steamy stuff, and the other quickly asks to go to the bathroom so no one sees how much they're blushing.
> 
> I swear. I'm in so many groupchats that I've accidentally sent stuff on the wrong one. XD


	59. Working Together Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyrion asks how Jaime and Brienne working together again was faring so far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on one of Gwen and Nik's interview...
> 
> This is probably a load of crap but whatever hahahaha. HYYYPPPPEEEEE

"So, what's it like working together on a project again?" Tyrion made sure to sip his wine after his inquiry to hide his amused smile.

Jaime, his brother, and Brienne had worked together before. At first, it was as if the project to restore the castle of Riverrun was a war between these two--greater than, perhaps, the War of the Five Kings--but eventually they've found common ground and learned that they made a great team. Their work was applauded by many.

Brienne had a good eye for finding the most visually accurate materials and methods to replace materials that are obsolete. Jaime was a pro at marrying steel reinforcements to old buildings without causing too much damage to the integrity of the existing original structure. However, their skills caused them to be apart for a year--Brienne being hired by the Baratheons while Jaime was in Kings Landing. They did attempt at cellphone communication but they were both too stupidly awkward to act like as they did when they were as coworkers. Tyrion had to withstand his brother's constant rant about the "stupid ugly" girl who was slipping from him. Frankly, the younger Lannister found a project to reunite them both so his older brother would stop talking his ear off about Jaime's sexual frustrations and finally get laid.

Two weeks in on their latest project on the restoration of Winterfell and Tyrion saw Jaime and Brienne had easily settled back to their old routines as if they hadn't parted at all. Though this time, they seemed more affectionate and the sexual tension--as Bronn put it--amped up even more.

Distance did make their heart grow fonder.

"It's been wonderful." "I haven't enjoyed it."

Tyrion nearly choked on his wine at their differing response. Jaime and Brienne stared at each other, their expressions a variety of confusion and annoyance--all amusing Tyrion immesely.

Brienne deadpanned, "I don't enjoy it," while Jaime sighed dreamily, "Absolutely wonderful." Then, she added, "I don't like you!"

"Why not?" Jaime protested. Tyrion knew his brother's tendency to become petulant.

"You're distracting me from work _all the time!"_

Brienne's eyes widened and heat spread from her cheeks and disappearing down her chest when both the Lannister brothers sported that same evil glint. Tyrion let his brother have the jape though.

"Thinking about our time in the bath?" Jaime teased. Tyrion thought he should pry that interesting story from him.

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

Jaime lifted a brow, ready for mockery but Tyrion noticed the subtle tension in his dear brother's jaw.

"Is that so? Then has someone else captured your fancy, my lady? Do you look at me, thinking, _Where's that wildling Termutt_?"

Tyrion had to snort at his brother's poor imitation of Brienne's voice.

"But this is me, wench," Jaime said as he pulled Brienne closer. "I'm here."

Tyrion expected Brienne to punch his stupid brother in his pretty face but her lips twitched into a small humble smile that almost made her pretty. She, then, switched back to her trademark scowl and disentangled herself from Jaime's grip. The older Lannister sighed.

"You're Brienne Tarth," Jaime told her seriously. "You can do better."


	60. His Bliss

Jaime thought that taking Brienne's maidenhead and making love to her for the first time would be the best part of their wedding night.

But he found that Brienne taking off his cold golden hand, then replacing it with her own warm gentle one, caressing his chaffed stump, was his biggest bliss of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have been a bit inspired from a line in "There's a Radiant Darkness Upon Us" by CaroltheQueen fic where Brienne touches the area where his golden hand and stump meet and I was reminded of "Hands of Gold" and I know y'all got feels.


	61. Salty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime is freaking out why his notp is still kissing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.K.A. Jaime and Brienne are me at the extended episode 2 trailer.
> 
> Basically this is written on the spot and not very much proofreading ew.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SARAH AND NATHAN KISS IN EPISODE 2?"

"Jaime, calm down."

"No, Brienne. I will not calm! I know I've been into the fandom late, even _way_ later than you, but this dumb toxic trainwreck of a relationship is being dragged on for far too long. Gabrielle and Nathan need to hook up already!"

"Jaime, you and I talked about this. We were even not going to be surprised if they add in a sex scene for Nathan and Sarah just so we don't expect too much."

It was funny, Brienne mused. Jaime had always made fun of her for being so attached to a fictional relationship to the point of reading fanwork writings of them. Then just to tease her even further, he watched the first five seasons with her.

Oh how the tables have turned.

"I know but UGH this infuriates me so much! Seven hells, I swear I am tempted to shove Honorbound up the showrunner's asses."

"But remember, TV works differently than books."

She had even actually got him to read the books. READ! Though he only finished reading Nathan's chapters and is still in the process of reading everyone's POV in book 1.

Jaime huffed. "I know! But they could do it differently like he can stay by Sarah's side but they don't have to do anything intimate. Just... WHY?!"

Brienne rolled her eyes. He was being dramatic about her OTP... _their_ OTP (more his than hers now) and it was actually amusing.

"Probably shock value. I stopped having high standards in screen adaptations of books, really. Besides, maybe the context of the scene is different. Remember, last year?"

That put a dazed smile on Jaime's face. "When we thought Nathan and Gabrielle were gonna fight? Most pleasant surprise."

"And they recently have the actors together for the first time in an interview and they're fangirling more than usual. So, I'm still hopeful," she assured him.

He was back to frowning though.

"But Brieeeeenne," Jaime whined and Brienne tried her best to contain her snort. "Nathan and Sarah should've broken up in the fourth season and Nathan should've ridden away with Gabrielle and never returned to Sarah in Season 5 or 6."

"Jaime, remember the spoilers. Nathan leaves Sarah in episode 7. Just hang in there okay? Maybe you can write some fanfic..." Brienne began blushing. "...smut fanfic."

His expression immediately shifted. The gods know how much he (and even she) wanted Gabrielle and Nathan to bang but the look on Jaime's face was one that even their OTP wouldn't get. His green eyes were darker, sparkling with mischief. His lips twisted into a predatory smirk.

"I could. But I have a girlfriend, don't I?"

Her face was probably the color of his family's banner. It was rather strange to think that she and Jaime were a couple for three months now. That day when she was notified of a gift fic from Jaime about Nathan confessing his love for Gabrielle that ended with a note of Jaime asking her out seemed like yesterday.

"Besides," Jaime said, pulling her away from her thoughts as he pulled her closer, their lips only a breath away. "I prefer actual smut of my topmost OTP."

Just as they were about to kiss, Jaime spoke. "Okay he leaves Sarah but what if we have to wait another season for him to see Gabrielle and then since it's the last season, they die?"

Brienne groaned and kissed him hotly, making him forget all about his dilemma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except I have no love life of course hahahahaha. I'm literally trying to calm myself though. *sighs*


	62. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne had bowel troubles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING!**  
>  It's not described in detail but you still may not want to read this while consuming food items.

The apartment door slammed open with a bang. Brienne, nearly forgetting to close it, kicked the door close with her foot. She, then, proceeded to blindly race to the direction of the bathroom. No other thought crossed her mind other than the relief of her twisting bowels.

The bathroom door was within her sight and Brienne nearly wept with joy. She didn't even bother closing the door, quickly deciding she'll kick it close once she got her initial relief.

Brienne swiftly yanked down her jersey shorts along with her underwear. As soon as her thighs hit the toilet seat, relief instantly freed her belly from its gripping clutches.

When she stretched out her leg to close the door before her stupid(ly handsome) roommate complained about the smell, Brienne was suddenly aware of the sound of the shower running. Dread consumed her but she made herself slowly turn around to the shower area and there she found her roommate, gripping the shower curtain and staring slack-jawed at her.

Heat filled her face when she saw his sudsy blonde hair, wet and dripping down to his toned chest and abs and even further...  
"Get out!" Brienne shrieked, throwing the bottle of cleaning solution at him. She heard the item hit the wall. It missed but she didn't want to look at him at all.

"What the fuck, Brienne?" she heard him exclaim. "At least let me rinse off all the soap. Geez woman. I wasn't the one barging in disrespectfully."

"Fine! Hurry up!" she growled and the shower curtain closed again.

To Brienne's irritation, he was whistling. How he was whistling when the smell and sound of her waste was filling the bathroom, she wasn't sure. As if seeing him in his birthday suit wasn't embarrassing enough.

It wasn't long when the curtains rattled before they slid open again, revealing a, to her relief, towel-clad Jaime. Brienne immediately covered her thighs with her arms. He was smirking infuriatingly until she saw him scrunch his nose. It was a small victory for her. In retaliation though, he sauntered his way to the doorframe that remained unclosed. Damn! Jaime Lannister may be an ass but his ass is so damn fine even with a towel on. He spun around grinning smugly.

"My first and my second head both think your legs are fine."

Brienne growled and made to grab the plunger and the door shut close. She could hear Jaime laughing on the other side.

"Hey," his muffled voice said through the door, serious and softer now. "Do you need me to prepare you some medicine?"

For all that could be said about Jaime, he was sweet and thoughtful.

"Yes, thank you."

"Oh, and intruding wench," he was teasing. Gods she wanted to kill the man. "I know you like what you saw."

Brienne had never been good at lying. So she said nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get really weird inspiration from the most unusual of events and places. xD (No, it wasn't the shit-adel that inspired me lol.)


	63. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bronn gives advice to the grim Lord Lannister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A.K.A another fic I wrote to prepare me for ew next episode hahahahaha.

Bronn watched as a bedraggled Lord Lannister dragged himself to the table.

"You fucked her didn't you?"

Lord Jaime badly supressed a shudder.

"Why so glum? Did her hair seem darker than usual? Not blonde enough anymore?"

His lord glared at him but Bronn merely smirked.

"Here," Bronn said, shoving a cup of wine in his only hand. "You're gonna need it."

He looked at the cup in offense as he placed it on the table.

"Don't take out your grievances on the wine, m'lord," Bronn japed. "We're lucky we still have this, especially with our dwindling supplies and your Grace's appetite for the stuff rivaling even your own brother's."

Bronn saw the flash of irritation in his eyes before turning melancholy.

"I-I fucked her," he admitted. "But she still accepted that ghastly gift. Even married the treacherous snake."

Bronn was surprised at how careless he was in talking about the true nature of his relationship with his sister.

Still, he couldn't help but tease him."Which snake? Didn't know your sister was into cunts, too." Lord Lannister glared at him.

"Look, why are you even surprised?" Bronn told him more seriously. "You think a good fuck from you would bend her to your will?"

"She loves me. I love her," he said quickly but Bronn saw the glaring doubt in his expression.

"So are you jealous?"

He quickly shut his mouth, contemplated, even taking a short sip from his cup. Bronn had to say something before his lord's brain explodes from thinking too much.

"Sure, your sister thinks you're a good fuck, but she's been using her cunt to trap you by the cock since day one," Bronn explained. "Did the same with your cousin, Lancelot... or was it Lance? Whatever. I was there with Lord Tyrion when he confessed."

"She said she's never and will never touch another man besides Robert." Lord Jaime was surprised, but the resignation came faster than Bronn anticipated.

"It takes me back to my previous question, are you jealous?"

"I'm disappointed and irritated at her stupidity." Jaime answered easily. He seemed more shocked at that revelation about himself than with his sister's infidelity.

"Makes you wish your giant lady warrior was here?"

And there it was. The stupid longing look he wore that day the Lady of Tarth left him in King's Landing and then he looked around as if afraid someone will overhear them. He will talk of his relationship with his sister freely but he hid his feelings for a certain woman, even shielding them from himself.

"She's not anyone's lady," Lord Lannister finally said with a sad fond smile. "Besides, she's with the Starks, living her dream and fulfilling her oaths. The Lannisters are not welcome up North." He smiled wider but it looked more pained than happy. "Not my style anyway. Too much bloody honor packed in one place."

Bronn saw through him though. "You're not honorable enough?"

"I just fucked the queen," he hissed, before downing all of his cup in one go. These Lannisters and their drinking problems. "But I can at least try to feed this damned city regardless of my soiled name."

Bronn saw the dedication and inspiration the woman of Tarth inspired in him. The sellsword was a cynic and only thought of women as something he could sink his cock into but even he knew that if the romantic notion of love truly existed, the prime example of it would be the Golden Lion of Lannister and the Lady of Tarth.


	64. Whole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little fluff to go by :3

Ice may never become whole again but the blonde warriors wielding the two blades borne from it made each other whole.


	65. Gentle Squeeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just somw fluff idk hahahahahhaa

Jaime could feel his heart squeeze wonderfully as Brienne held his stump like she were gently threading her fingers through his absent ones.


	66. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after 7.04
> 
> **DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EPISODE 4**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls into the JB ao3 tag and drops this installment*  
> *scampers away*

Everything was fire until a force shoved him aside. Then everything turned to water.

Jaime could feel all the air in his lungs get pushed out to be replaced by the water. Dark spots danced around his vision.

Unbidden, his thoughts turned to a memory from long ago. The water and heat reminded him of the baths of Harrenhal. Instinctively, he reached both his hands out.

 _Brienne_ , he wanted to say but the water filled his mouth.

Jaime always thought he’d die in the arms of the woman he loved. Instead, he was thinking of the arms of the woman who saved him in more ways than he’d care to admit. He could remember her strong yet gentle grip. Brienne would never let him drown. Even when they were on shaky terms, Brienne always saved him, just as he always saved her. Jaime saved her from perils of the world but Brienne saved him from drowning in his sins, as if he was worth something.

He closed his eyes, accepting his fate. He felt strangely content in the memory of being in Brienne’s arms. At least someone out there believed in him, his honor.

Jaime was barely aware of the upward pull and the rumbling voice swearing at him.

_Brienne. Brienne. Brienne._

Her name was the only thing that he wanted to call out.

*******

 _Dothraki. Dragon. Fire. Water._ Jaime thought. _Water. Harrenhal_. _Brienne._

Jaime blinked his eyes open. He felt something soft underneath his body.

It took a while but it dawned on Jaime that he was alive. He felt hot and sore and tired. He probably had a fever but he was alive. He recognized the roof of the Lannister tent.

“I thought you were going to kiss me,” a voice rumbled beside him.

He turned his head a little sideways and found Bronn, seated on a stool and scowling at him. Of all the bloody people he had to first see, it had to be this man.

“I didn’t know you wanted your castle that badly,” Jaime managed to croak despite feeling groggy.

“I lost my bag of gold in that damned fight. So much for paying your debts.”

Jaime laughed, or at least he tried to. He was wheezing rather than laughing, and it was followed by heavy coughing.

“Easy there, Lannister. I don’t want you dying on me. I just saved you. You still have debts to pay after all.”

Jaime groaned, trying to get up from his bed. Bronn immediately assisted and he thanked the sellsword.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Bronn murmured. “Besides, you seemed to be looking for someone else.”

When Jaime knitted his brows, Bronn rolled his eyes and began explaining.

“Any particular reason why you’re calling for that giant blonde lady of yours?”

Jaime could feel his face burning that had nothing to do with his fever.

“Come on,” Bronn encouraged, nudging his shoulder. “You don’t have any lords or soldiers to intimidate. Nobody else is here to find out about your soft romantic heart. It’s just good ol’ Bronn.”

He remained quiet though so Bronn continued.

“You always thought you’d die in the arms of the woman you loved yet you nearly died in mine and called out a woman’s name that wasn’t the queen’s. Even when you were recovering, you would blurt out the lady’s name.”

“I’m not paying you to talk about my personal life,” Jaime snapped.

“You’re not paying me at all yet here I am, trying anyway,” Bronn retorted just as sharply, then shook his head and got up. “You Lannisters think you’re so complicated but you’re not that hard to figure out, really. Since you didn’t ask for my insight though, I’m going to leave you so I can fetch the maester. You figure out why you’re calling out for another woman’s name.”

Bronn left the tent, leaving Jaime to his thoughts. Perhaps Bronn was just japing but Jaime saw no reason for the man to do that. He’d always been blunt—blunter than even he and Tyrion and they were already up there in that respect.

Brienne crossed his mind once more and he felt like drowning again. He felt too sick to dwell on her properly. All he knew was that his chest felt strangled and his face was on fire by the thought of Brienne—stupid stubborn honorable Brienne with her innocent blue eyes and strength and gentleness.

Jaime wanted to scream. Bronn was getting somewhere but Jaime was afraid of what it all meant. Now he’s heading back to King’s Landing. Back to the one he loved.

Yet it wasn’t his sister’s name that had left his cold dying lips.

And the Queen's face was not the face he was most eager to see either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, DAMN MAN THAT EP! I really wanted to reach out to Jaime (*pretending I was Brienne*)
> 
> Second of all, yeah I may have borrowed this idea from someone in the JBO discussion. I remembered someone who mentioned maybe Jaime gets a Brienne vision when he drowned when the Jaime drowning was still an unconfirmed leak??? I forgot who had that idea because it was a long time ago but thanks hahahhahahaha.
> 
> Third of all, BRONN MARRY ME!


	67. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime hears a sniffling beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk. I just felt like writing it this after the frustration of the episode. hahahaha.
> 
> Sorry, I didn't proofread/edit well. I got sad.

Jaime awoke to the sound of sniffling and knew immediately it was his bedmate making the sound.

He and Brienne had slept in one bed at an inn because it was the only available room and bed. They had fought over who would be sleeping in the floor but they ended up reluctantly agreeing sharing a bed. Jaime was a little disappointed that they were sleeping back-to-back. He missed her eyes. But he kept his mouth shut. Her betrayal still stung.

He should've slayed her back then. Brienne might not have even fought him. But it was that very fact, along with her wounds and face and her guiless sapphire eyes that had made him spare her and even treat her wounds.

The whole time she spoke even littler than before and timidly. Jaime wasn't sure if he liked this subdued Brienne but he was still to angry to really understand his feelings.  
Another round of sniffles sliced through his thought. Irritated, he was about to berate her for getting a cold when he felt her warm back twitching as if in hiccups.

Brienne wasn't cold.

She was crying.

Suddenly, all his anger melted away replaced by wave after wave of strong but gentle emotions. Surge of protectivness. Need to comfort. Guilt.

"Brienne," he whispered softly and she stiffened at that.

"I'm sorry to have woken you, ser," she croaked. Her nose sounded more clogged than he had thought.

"Come here."

He gently turned her around, grateful that she wasn't putting up any resistance, until they were finally face-to-face.

Moonlight seeped through the windows and he could see her face a bit. She didn't get any prettier, especially with tears and snot streaking her face but the moon rendered her eyes in an eerie light. It looked paler but her sorrow shone beautifully.

Jaime shouldn't have thought that but it was true. He truly saw how heavy the burden of the events that transpired when she left King's Landing weighed on her. Not finding Sansa Stark, finding her undead mother instead, having to choose between an innocent boy and him. Brienne had begged that he was innocent but he knew he wasn't really.

Maybe he should've died.

"I-I have no right to cry, ser," she told him. "Whatever ill you have to say, I know I deserve it."

"I never should've sent you out on that perilous impossible quest," he simply told her.

The stubborn wench shook her head.

"No. It was my honor, Ser Jaime. It was I who failed you... and Lady Catelyn."

As soon as the name left her lips, Brienne immediately broke down. Her face was screwed up all ugly but Jaime's heart broke to see it. With his remaining hand, he pulled her head to his chest and she sobbed even harder. He stroked her straw hair, marveled at how soft it actually felt against his fingers. He didn't say anything though, she just let her cry, soaking his clothes, but he didn't mind.

She'd lopped off the head of her Lady with Oathkeeper. He should've known what that felt like. He had made that decision when he was around that age. But he allowed the feeling of betrayal from his own siblings manifest and lashed at Brienne. Cersei betrayed him for power. Tyrion betrayed him for revenge. But Brienne, bless her maiden heart, she was only trying to protect a child.

Who ended up dead in the end anyway.

And the boy didn't even have the fraction of cruelty Joffrey had.

Suddenly, he felt Brienne pull away.

"I'm sorry, ser, this isn't proper."

Jaime wanted to snort. They had already seen each other naked in the bath. But he didn't want her to distance herself.

Instead, he tightened his hold on her. They were face to face once more, their noses almost brushing. He gazed into her softly but seriously.

"They said something about you being my whore," he told her. He had wanted to ask about that but his pride hadn't allowed him to... his fear as well. Now that he was calmer, he finally had the courage.

"It's nothing, ser," she denied but her eyes were wide and scared.

He could feel her body radiating more heat.

"They said you wouldn't stop calling for me. Is that true?" he inquired further.

"Just fever dreams, ser. Nothing more."

It didn't sound like nothing, didn't look like nothing. Jaime might understand what it meant. He might feel it, too. He opened his mouth. He wanted to say those three words. The ones that Cersei had written thrice in the letter he burned. He didn't know when or how he felt it but he knew then and there that those three words would be for Brienne. His beauty and his knight. His maiden and his warrior. The one who truly understood who he was because she knows what he feels. What he went through. Cersei was his mirror but only on the physical. Brienne mirrored his soul. And even then, she was brighter and purer than he'd ever be.

Which is why he shut his mouth.

He kissed her on the forehead instead.

"I'm here now and I'm not leaving you, Brienne."

"Jaime..." He nearly wept at the sound of his name. "You don't have to do this."

He pulled her closer, still not letting her go. He buried her face on his shoulder.

"There's nothing to forgive, Brienne," he mumbled into her hair. "You did everything you could, my lady knight."

"I'm neither a lady nor a knight," she protested with a whisper, followed by a yawn.

"You are to me."

All Jaime got in response was her snores. He smiled, shifting his face so his lips touched her hair. She smelled like campfire and wood and grass with a whiff of saltwater.

He smiled into her hair.

"The noblest knight and the gentlest lady," he murmured as he followed her into slumber.


	68. Calm and Tense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered the character promo photos and how Jaime looked intense while Brienne looked serene.
> 
> I don't really know what this is tbh but well, here it is. jahahaha

Calm.

Wars rage south. A threat looms in north. Uneasiness is in Winterfell. Yet Brienne feels some sort of calm.

She's still wary of the impending danger and her guard isn't down especially with Littlefinger lurking in every corner. But she sees Lady Sansa, every bit like her mother, handling Winterfell with grace and cunning, despite everything that had happened to her. Then there's Lady Arya, who was small yet deadly, flitting around Winterfell, observing.

Brienne may have felt like she hadn't done much but at least she knows that the girls are together, under her watch.

 _I fulfilled my oath Lady Catelyn_ , Brienne thinks before adding, unbiddenly, _Jaime_.

*******

Tense.

Cersei is queen. There's no more hiding from everyone, she declared. They were free. Jaime could even acknowledge the babe growing in his sister's stomach. Yet Jaime is tense.

He saw his men burning by the flames of the beast ripped right off from the Targaryen spawn's sigil. Then, Tyrion, the Hand of the dragon spawn, appeared eerie standing next to the skulls of those monsters. How his fingers itched to throttle the dwarf yet he listened. Jaime almost instantly regretted it. His little brother told him of a threat beyond the wall and asked for a safe passage to provide proof.

Even as Cersei wraps her arms around him, his body is stiff when she asks him never to betray her again.

Unbidden, he prays for Brienne. _Father give her strength and protect her from harm._


	69. The Kingslayer's Favor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possibly Episode 7 Spoilers???
> 
> Had to get this out before the episode.

“Will you be coming with your army North, Ser Jaime?”

Jaime felt his breath robbed away from him seeing those blue eyes wide with hope. It was immediately replaced by hollowness, hating himself for having to say his next words.

“My place is beside my sister.”

His heart broke watching her wither before him, but then it swelled at her understanding nod.

“I wish you well, then, Ser Jaime,” she said.

As she turned around, a realization hit him. Then, it was as if the world slowed down while his thoughts raced as fast as his heart.

This might truly be the last time he would ever see Brienne again.

His good hand shot out and grabbed her arm before she could fully turn away from him. She faced him once more. Worry furrowed her pale brows, making the azure of her beautiful eyes more prominent.

“What is it, ser?”

For the first time in his life, Jaime didn’t know what to say—not even a witty line came into mind. He merely stared at her for a while, hoping his eyes would somehow transmit his thoughts, but even his thoughts were wrestling, trying to make sense of his true feelings.

Slowly, his left hand loosened its hold on her arm, sliding upwards until his hand was on her cheek. Brienne stiffened. Jaime saw the fear in her eyes. If he was honest with himself, he was afraid to. Afraid he’d ruin it. Them.

“What are you doing?” she breathes as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

“Something stupid…” he replied but his heart was responding positively to his actions. “Or smart.” Jaime wasn’t sure which but it didn’t matter at that point, he leaned closer and closer until his nose was bumping hers.

“I’ll stop if you want me to,” Jaime whispered.

He wanted her. He always had. But the chains of duty and familiarity had bound him from acting on it. They were lucky to cross paths again and again but what if this was going to be the last time? He had to show her what he meant to her. But he was waiting for her permission. Or at least protest.

He found none.

So, he closed the gap between them, their lips meeting for the first time.

Cersei was wildfire, relentless in her passions, but Brienne felt different. She was the fire from the hearth. She was gentle warmth that felt like home. Wildfire sought to destroy everything in its path but Brienne’s flame offered comfort and shelter from the biting winds of winter.

Jaime parted his lips a little and pressed her harder for a response. Brienne eventually got the hint and she opened her mouth and pressed back. He smiled at her sweet fumbling attempts. She was definitely a maiden. She felt like how a maiden should. Though Jaime found her inexperienced, he loved it even more.

Too soon, they parted with a loud gasp. Jaime saw Brienne’s pupils were blown wide and her cheeks were flushed. One look at her panting lips and he felt his cock twitch. It took all he had not to kiss her again.

“Why?” she gasped.

Jaime wanted to tell her straight but he couldn’t force the words out.

“Why do you think knights kiss their maidens?” he said instead. Her pale brows still scrunched in disbelief. He tried his usual japing. “I suppose I’m the maiden, giving a kiss as a favor before his knight rides off to war.”

“What about the queen?”

And just like that, reality reared its ugly head.

“She needs me. My _sister_ needs me.” Jaime felt it necessary to emphasize his relation with Cersei.

“You can’t possibly… not me.”

“I do,” Jaime insisted, then slumped. “But I don’t think I’m worthy of you. All I could give you is a kiss, a memory to warm you during the cold hard times ahead.”

Brienne shook her head. “Don’t say that. It means everything.” She made a strangled sound. “You’re everything.”

Jaime knew in his heart that Brienne wanted him, too, but reading her is far different from her admitting it. How was he going to let her go now?

But he knew he had to.

“I will always be yours,” he told her.

Brienne gasped. Her hand grasped at Oathkeeper’s hilt. He hoped she finally understood. That was what he meant to say when he said similar words back in Riverrun.

“Goodbye, Jaime.”

Jaime froze at the use of his name. She’d always called him Kingslayer, then Ser Jaime when she started respected him, but she never called him by his name alone.

The impact of that seemingly minute thing made him react sluggishly as Brienne turned away from him swiftly, fleeing the room, fleeing from her feelings.

It was the story of their life. They get ripped away from each other, then they meet again, Brienne saving him when he was beginning to lose himself while Jaime saving her from a physical danger she’s throwing herself in, before parting heartbreakingly again.

As the door closed, Jaime wondered if he had done the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Highkey hopes this will happen but lowkey expectations because Season 7 is blegh


	70. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During her watch on her way back North, Brienne allows herself a moment of vulnerability.
> 
> 7.07 spoilers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my interpretation of what I think is show!Brienne's internal monologue. Also, I didn't see Hound and Pod with Team Jonaerys at Dragonstone so I assume they traveled by horse together.
> 
> Also written on the spot hahaahhaa
> 
> Warning: Angst.

Only when Brienne heard Podrick's and the Hound's unsynchronized snoring did she allow her tears to fall.

Months of frustration and heartbreak poured out of her eyes.

Brienne had tried her best to be loyal, but she failed everyone. She failed to protect Renly. She failed to protect Lady Catelyn. Though from those failures rose another set of fulfilled promises, all of them felt hollow. She felt no victory executing a dying man. She couldn't save the Stark girls from the flames that forged them into steel. Pod told her not to be too hard on herself but it didn't change the fact that she did next to nothing.

Then there was Sansa's cold dismissal of her. It stung so badly. It made her feel unwanted. Unneeded. Brienne did her best. She knew she came too late but she wanted to stand by Sansa and Arya to make up for lost time. They may have hardened spirits but their bodies are still soft. No doubt Lady Arya could defend herself and her sister, but something was brewing in Winterfell. Brienne might be needed should the need arise. She pledged her life to Catelyn's daughters but Sansa threw it back to her face.

_Ser Jaime will be there. You said he treated you honorably before._

Jaime. He was another thorn at her heart. He barely even looked at her in the Dragonpit. It was as if she was beneath his notice.

 _Why would he notice you when the love of his life is seated beside him?_   Brienne angrily wiped off her tears and tried to make herself understand. She had no delusions about where she stood in his life but when she tried talking with him, he sounded displeased to see her.

What hurt her the most though was how quick he was to give up.

_Fuck loyalty!_

Brienne's cheeks burned at the language she had used but she was angry. Her ride south gave her second thoughts about honor and oaths and loyalty. She thought Jaime of all people would understand. Jaime, who killed the Mad King to save King's Landing. If the rumors were true, Cersei had used on the sept of Baelor the very same substance Aerys planned on using to burn King's Landing. Then the tragedy drove their son to suicide.

Brienne had justified that he loved her and it was only used on one portion of King's Landing and that sweet Tommen felt burdened by the crown.

But she never thought Jaime loved Cersei so much that he'd sacrifice the world for her. It didn't matter if they got the army in the end. It was Lord Tyrion's doing not Jaime's.

Jaime just gave up.

Brienne was tired of all these oaths. She wanted to throw Oathkeeper in the snow. Oaths and honor and loyalty were all meaningless.

But she was as stupid as Jaime was. The man still rooted in her heart even if he'd shattered it in a million pieces. She loved him that much.

Her eyes were finally drying up. She held on to Oathkeeper's pommel, making a last promise.

 _All these lords and ladies be damned,_ she told herself. _I swear loyalty to the realm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I'm sorry the old Brienne can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh. She's dead._ ~~Please don't kill me for making a Taylor Swift reference.~~
> 
> We all know Brienne has the tendency to misjudge and I think she already feels sad about how Sansa treated her so Jaime's treatment and words at her would probably even depress her more. She doesn't know that Jaime tried to talk to Cersei but the evil queen wouldn't listen. There are lots of things she doesn't know from Jaime's perspective so I thought this would've made good angsty feels. I want this addressed on the show so bad but I really doubt it hahahhaa.
> 
> (Also, may have written a longer fic about this with Jaime in it but ugh it sucks and idk how to end it yet)


	71. The Joust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne looks for Jaime to ask him to be her partner for the report in medieval history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was watching this episode of the Amazing World of Gumball and I could just imagine Jaime and Tormund as Gumball and Tobias and I literally plotted this in the bathroom and wrote this as soon as I got out.
> 
> This was written in less than an hour and I only ran this through twice. XD

Brienne sought for Jaime once they were dismissed from history. He had mysteriously disappeared. Usually, he waited for her outside with some witty line before walking to the cafeteria.

They actually got to pick their reporting partners this time and she wanted to secure Jaime as her partner before some giggling girl got to him. Whenever the teacher picked or they drew lots, she always had unfortunate partners. The standouts of that would be Ronnet, who kept insulting her as she worked so she ended up doing the whole project herself, and Hyle, who was better until she found out about the bet on whether or not he would kiss her. Unfortunately, Brienne almost fell for it, being lonely and vulnerable. She ended up mercilessly cutting him off from the partnership and did the report herself, him failing the subject.

Jaime had been her unofficial best friend for a good two years now and although he was infuriating, he was honest and she valued that. He was also kind in his own way. Ironically, their friendship grew from being lab partners a few months after she moved to Red Keep Middle School and while it was almost impossible to work with him at first, they had the highest grade on the project.

She was definitely picking Jaime because he was her best friend and they worked well together.

It was certainly not because of how his hair looked like the sun wove it, or that his eyes reminded her of Tarth’s greenery, or that his face was carved by the Smith’s chisel.

The sound of a crowd’s shout snapped Brienne from her thoughts and stopped her from turning any redder. She rolled her eyes. Jaime could never resist placing bets whenever there was a fight in the school’s basketball court. She jogged to the crowd and she sought for that sun-woven hair. She barely understood what the crowd was screaming and her mind was too focused looking for Jaime. Likely it was the famed Cleganebowl, as the students dubbed it, finally coming to fruition. The whole student body had been eagerly awaiting for the fight between brothers Sandor and Gregor who always sought the opportunity to glower at each other when they passed each other in the hallways.

Brienne pushed her way through the crowd. _Definitely Cleganebowl_ , she thought realizing how thick the crowd was. Finally, she breathed fresh cold air when it was robbed from her again.

She found Jaime.

With a mop under his arm.

Riding a bike.

In full speed.

On the opposite end was the new kid from the North, Tormund, riding a bike as well and clutching a broom. The guy was okay but he had kept staring at her in a way that made her spine shiver. And not in a good way.

“Jaime, what the hell are you doing?” she found herself shouting.

Brienne didn’t think he’d hear her through the roar of the crowd but he turned his head toward her. He looked like he was about to say something when his bike shifted and he went veering off his straight path, away from the crowd. The slight elevation of the land cause Jaime’s bike to trip, launching him into a hole dug up by the maintenance to fix a leaked pipe that sprouted water like a fountain.

She barely heard herself scream as she ran to Jaime. She didn’t even think about her clothes as she dove into the five foot deep hole. The murky water was a good two feet and Jaime was submerging.

“Don’t you dare die on me, you idiot,” she hissed, pulling him out of the water. She propped him against the dirt wall and she studied his face for any sign of breathing. He was muddy but he still looked good. Then, she cursed her brain for thinking that when she should check his breathing.

He wasn’t breathing.

“Jaime…” she whispered before screaming. “Jaime, wake up! Jaime!” She was shaking his shoulders as she kept shouting his name, very much aware that she sounded like she was about to cry and that many people were watching.

Then, a snort came from his nose and a pair of those forest eyes peered out from under his eyelids.

“I’m sorry. I can’t—”

Brienne growled, letting him go. She’d never felt so humiliated.

“Wait!” he called out but she already turned away, ready to climb back out the hole. “Hey Brie-agh!”

Brienne shouldn’t have turned back but it was in her cursed nature to respond to sounds of distress.

“I’m not falling for it, Jaime,” she said, seeing him rub his arm.

“I think my arm is broken.”

She glared at him.

“I promise I’m not pranking you.”

She sighed, walking back to him. She helped him up just in case he broke his legs, too, but thankfully he can still walk. Thankfully, the other students weren’t complete assholes and pulled out Jaime as she hoisted him up by the hips. She tried not to blush as she was inches near his backside. He was only fourteen but he matured early and did sports so he had a very nice backside.

After Jaime was up, kind souls pulled her out as well. She gave them a curt thank you before she turned to Jaime.

“Go with me to the clinic?” he pleaded. He batted his lashes and pouted and she rolled her eyes at his ridiculousness.

But it worked.

“Why do I even put up with you?” she said, pulling his uninjured arm to lead him inside.

“Because you love me,” he answered coolly. Brienne blushed even though she knew very well that that love is merely platonic. Suddenly, Jaime’s expression shifted as he was watching someone from afar. He was smiling smugly and then sticking his tongue out. He followed his gaze and found Tormund, forlorn.

“What were you two even doing?” Brienne scolded, looking back at Jaime. He suddenly seemed nervous.

“We were having a joust—like in the old days.”

It was just like Jaime to do something old fashioned like that.

“Why?”

Jaime had the sense to be embarrassed.

“In the medieval days, Tormund said in his culture they steal what they want. I told him that in the south we have duels and jousts. None of us could sword fight so we agreed with the joust.” Then, he shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “I figured you would prefer all that knight stuff than being stolen away.”

_What._

“What does that have to do with me?” Brienne asked incredulously.

Jaime blushed. “We both wanted to be your history report partner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this made up for last installment's angst.


	72. Because We're Soulmates

Ms. Tyrell watched two tall blonde teens enter her office. The taller one looked a little nervous while the other seemed uncaring, perhaps too used to be called to offices. The latter was known for being a troublemaker until the former came into his life some years ago, putting him in his place by literally kicking his ass.

“Ms. Tarth, Mr. Lannister, I’ve called you both here because it seemed as if the essays you passed are rather... similar.”

Brienne shot Jaime a disbelieving look.

“Jaime! I told you to get ideas from my essay, _not_ copy off of it!”

“I changed some words,” Jaime tried defending himself, crossing his arms over his chest.

“ _Some_ being the keyword there, Mr. Lannister.”

Jaime huffed. “Well, every word of hers is exactly what I want to say. It’s not my fault we’re soulmates.”

“S-stop that, Jaime!”

Olenna watched in amusement as the girl looked down on her shoes, blushing.

“I’m serious, Brienne. Every word from that essay of yours is what my heart feels. We’re meant to be.”

“Mr. Lannister,” Olenna put a stop to it. The poor girl looked like she was asphyxiating. “Go write that essay again… _on your own_.”

The boy huffed.

“You can go Ms. Tarth. I just have a few private words to say to Mr. Lannister.”

The girl seemed hesitant to leave him and Olenna had to assure her it was going to be quick and that she can even wait outside for him if she wanted. Brienne nodded stiffly at that and left. Olenna waited it out for a few seconds after she left before speaking.

“Mr. Lannister, I commend you for trying to be unique in your… endeavors but plagiarizing Ms. Tarth’s essay on climate change is not how you woo the lady.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because we all know Jaime plagiarizes Brienne. It is known ;)


	73. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I'm sorry.

The people in the Dragonpit turned to the sound of a hoarse scream and found Jaime Lannister stumbling into the entrance. Everyone but Tyrion and Brienne looked with curiosity. The latter two looked at him with great worry. 

"Ser Jaime," Brienne cried out, running toward him as soon as her feet allowed her to move after her initial shock. Jaime seemed to be wheezing a word but she couldn't make it out.

"Run..." he finally breathed out.

"What?"

At that exact moment, they heard something rumble beneath them.

In a last ditch effort, Jaime tackled Brienne to the ground as if to shield her, but he knew it would be useless.

At least Jaime got to hold Brienne before the green flames engulfed them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If they have to die, I want them to die together. XD


	74. Dick-on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave in to Dickon being Brienne's admirer. XD Just the usual jealous Jaime....
> 
> Proofread to the best of my abilities.

The Westeros Charity Ball happening around Jaime was nothing but a blur to him as he watched Brienne with his heart ramming in his chest.

This wasn't the usual take-my-breath-away heartbeat he was experiencing when it came to Brienne however.

It was something bitter and ugly.

Jaime watched from his table as Rickon... Rickard... whatever that bastard's name was... whispered in Brienne's ear and she giggled. She _fucking_ giggled. Jaime clenched his fists. He barely heard his brother prattle on about the current state of the company.

"Planetos to Jaime," Tyrion finally called out. "Are you even listening?"

"Don't bother," Bronn told the younger Lannister. "His brain stops working once he sees that woman's leg."

It wasn't far off. Brienne wore a blue gown that not only matched her eyes but had a slit on one side that showed a lot of leg when she turned a certain way.

And at the moment, she was crossing her legs.

But it wasn't the only thing that got him hot and bothered, not even in an innuendo-laced way.

"It's funny," Bronn spoke. "You're the most handsome man in Westeros but she seems to have more earnest admirers than you."

Tyrion snorted in agreement, although her admirers were rather strange despite being genuine. Hunt was truly interested only after the bet thing and Brienne couldn't trust him since then. Oberyn would fuck everything that moved. The Hound had a rather gruff demeanor that tired Brienne out. Podrick, while nice, was more of Brienne's younger brother than a lover. Tormund was overly aggressive with his innuendos and creeped Brienne out. But this man...

"That Tarly cunt just wants the wench as conquest," Jaime hissed.

His brother rolled his eyes. "Step one in charming a lady, you do not call her wench."

Bronn laughed. "This is rich. Jaime Lannister, number one in Westeros' Hottest Bachelors asking help from us ugly fookers in wooing a lady."

"That's because he thinks his good looks alone will save him. Welcome to reality, dear brother," Tyrion said, patting his brother's back in mock sympathy.

"Tarly may not be as rich as you but let's be honest." Bronn gave him a once-over. "You're not getting any younger."

Panic was gripping Jaime's chest and he stood up.                

"Careful, Jaime," Tyrion warned, grabbing the hem of his older brother's coat. "Or you're going to do something stupid and scare her off even more."

Tyrion was right. Jaime composed himself before making his way toward the table Brienne was seated. The shithead noticed him first and then Brienne followed.

"My lady," Jaime said, doing his most courtly bow and plastering on his charming smile. Brienne looked at him like he were a mutant instead of a gentleman. Then Jaime turned to the Tarly dickhead and gave him a smirk. "Alder."

Jaime watched in satisfaction as the boy's composure withered. "Dickon, sir."

Jaime ignored the boy and addressed Brienne.

"Lady Brienne, may I steal you away?" Jaime immediately cursed himself for saying that. It sounds something creepy Tormund would say.

"Why don't you join me and Dickon?" Brienne suggested, gesturing to the empty seat next to the boy. _No fucking way I'm going to sit next to that slimy turd from hornyhill_ but Jaime was a weak man when it came to Brienne. He did as asked.

"How have you two become acquainted?" Jaime asked through his clenched teeth.

"Margaery and Renly's wedding," they chorused and looked at each other then laughed. Jaime's nostrils were flaring.

"It was a one-time thing," Dickon informed. "We were both drunk and sad. I quite fancied Lady Margaery."

Brienne was blushing.

"Which was more heartbreaking—the marriage or the fact you both barked up the wrong tree?" Jaime spat. Margaery and Renly had divorced in a month. The latter dating her brother and the former with Sansa Stark.

Dickon merely laughed at it like a fond memory from high school. Jaime wanted to punch his stupid face.

"I actually forgot all about it. I quite enjoyed my time with Brienne," Dickon shared, making Brienne blush. Jaime wanted to scream. He wanted to make her blush. "In fact, I wanted to see her again but it was hard to find her and father didn't approve of me seeing her."

"Your father never liked me much," Brienne mumbled.

 _If Tywin Lannister, the Night King incarnate, forbade me to see Brienne, I'd probably dump all the Lannister fortune over the cliffs of Casterly Rock._ Jaime thought but then another voice added, _Brienne would probably kick my ass if I did so though._

"I think you're wonderful, Brienne and if you'd like to, we can meet up at 'The Keep' tomorrow."

Jaime looked at Brienne looking at Dickon. Brienne seemed hesitant.

"Oh, I don't know..." and Brienne looked away, fading into mumbled excuses that could barely be heard.

"Hey, I promise to take things slowly," Dickon said as he clutched her hand with both of his and an image of those hands exploring Brienne's strong creamy body (which Jaime saw way before that _Robin_ bitch touched it) conjured into Jaime's mind. He clenched his fists to prevent himself from cutting off the shithead's hands. "I probably scared you that night being intimate too fast."

"I... it's... uhm..." Brienne stuttered.

Jaime nearly moved to pry off the bastard's hands himself but then her eyes, the color of the deepest ocean, trained on Jaime, drowning him. It was a split second but it was all he needed to calm him.

"Oh," the Tarly bastard squeaked. His hands immediately retracted. "I apologize. I didn't know you two were together."

Brienne opened her mouth but Jaime cut her off.

"We didn't tell anyone yet. She's still shy about telling people about it."

"Jaime!" Brienne scolded.

"That's why he's been glaring daggers at us this whole time." _Good. You noticed._ "Oh, I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to..."

Tarly looked more like the stammering boy that he is. He stood up and bowed at each in turn.

"Again. I'm sorry."

And he fled as fast as he could.

"What the fuck was that?" Brienne hissed.

"Saving you," Jaime said with a shrug.

Brienne's hands flew wildly in the air. "I don't need saving. I wasn't even gonna say yes. And now you told me you and I are..."

Brienne trailed off sucking her breath as her face turned redder than Casterly Rock’s carpet.

"...dating?" Jaime finished for her.

Brienne only shrieked in response.

"Maybe we should do that..." Jaime suggested. "To give truths to your lie."

"I'm serious, Jaime."

"Me, too."

Brienne's chair scraped as she stood up abruptly and walked away. Of course, Jaime followed.

"Wait, Brienne!"

Back at Jaime’s table, Tyrion and Bronn groaned in unison.

"Why does my brother scare everything good in his life away?" Tyrion sighed.

Bronn shrugged. "Your family has this Cunt mode switched on all the time. You can say you Lannisters always have your Dick-On."

Tyrion snorted. "You’ve been finding an occasion to use that joke since I told you the lad’s name, haven’t you."

Bronn shrugged way too innocently. Tyrion just shook his head then sipped his drink. He barely got a mouthful before he was coughing out his wine. Jaime was kneeling in front of Brienne.

"At least he’s ready to throw away all his dignity for her," Bronn commented.

Brienne was looking around, blushing, and then addressing Jaime. He seemed to be saying something but she appeared as if didn't wanna hear it. Then, Brienne was walking off when Jaime was hugging her legs.

"You idiot. You fucking idiot," Tyrion murmured.

"No finesse at all,” Bronn added. "But they look as good as married."

Tyrion agreed, watching Jaime's limp body dragging on the carpet as he wouldn't let go of Brienne who was trying to walk away. He made a silent promise to coach his idiot love sick brother on the ways of charm.


	75. Don't Look

Jaime swore he wasn't going to look at her.

He was finally free to be with Cersei. He was going to be a father again, openly this time.

He was not going to look at Brienne and further complicated his already confusing feelings.

Then she roughly grabs his arm and he was forced to look into those blue eyes, crashing into him like a tidal wave.

Despite the storm Brienne unleashed, for one flicker of a moment, Jaime felt peace.

 


	76. Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two installements today because I love you guys.

The living room felt empty without his wife's commanding presence, though he could still smell her lingering scent.

It had only been a few hours and Jaime's heart was already clenching.

He had to be strong though. For her. For them. He had always told her he was strong enough, but he realized he wasn't when he was without her.

Brienne was his love. Brienne was his life. They were the two halves of the same whole. Jaime was lost without his stubborn wench beside him.

Suddenly, the door opened, yanking Jaime from his melancholic thoughts. He turned to the direction of the door.

It was as if a defibrilator started his heart.

"I missed you so much, wife!" Jaime almost sang.

Brienne rolled her gorgeous azure eyes. "Jaime, must this always happen every time I go grocery shopping every weekend."

"But I do miss you!" Jaime insisted as he moved to help his wife carry the groceries to their kitchen.

Brienne muttered her thanks before adding, "I was only out for a few hours."

"Too damn long, wife!" Jaime protested.

Brienne sighed, as they put the groceries in the counter.

"You make it sound like we're getting a divorce. We've only been married for a month."

"What if we do something wrong?" Jaime said anxiously. "What if I do something wrong?"

Boldly, Brienne pressed her lips against Jaime's. It was quick and mostly chaste.

"Then, I'll tell you and we'll work it out. We've undergone worse."

They both tried not to recall the words they had exchanged during their first weeks of meeting one another.

Maybe it had been more than just words.

Jaime must have been thinking about it to because of what he said next.

"If it doesn't work, you have my full permission to kick my ass."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Jaime is lowkey clingy and highkey diva. xD


	77. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Bran talk in front of the Broken Tower.

“Ser Jaime.”

A chill ran through Jaime’s spine. The boy hadn’t even turned his head. His gaze had been fixed on the top of the broken tower. Jaime knew he was looking at _that_ window.

“Lord Bran,” Jaime greeted, bowing in case the boy had eyes behind his head.

“I’m no lord.” Then the boy chuckled. It wasn’t bitter, just exhausted. “I’m not even sure if I’m still Bran.”

Jaime wasn’t sure what he meant.

“May I join you?” Jaime asked instead.

“This was meant to happen,” Bran merely replied with a shrug.

Awkwardly, Jaime trudged his way beside the boy and followed his gaze. They remained silent for a while as Jaime tried to find words to tell the boy he had pushed.

“You were protecting your family,” Bran spoke, pulling the words from Jaime’s mouth.

“It was still horrible. I could’ve threatened you not to say anything,” Jaime said looking to the boy. Bran tore his gaze away from the window to meet the Kingslayer’s gaze.

“Yet where would we all be now had you done that?”

It didn’t sound comforting to Jaime’s ears. It was as if he was stating a fact. Many would still be alive, he and Cersei would still be together, he would still have his hand, but the oaf Robert would live, Jaime would never realize what Cersei would be capable of, they wouldn’t care about the threat beyond the Wall, more will die in the end…

For a moment, the boy’s blue eyes reminded Jaime of the one good thing that had happened to him through him all the shit.

Then he was quickly pulled back into reality and the eyes he was staring at was a different blue than the ones that appeared unbidden in his thoughts. The innocent boy who had caught him and his sister was not found anywhere in the boy before him. Bran or whatever he called himself now, was not just a boy grown. He seemed ancient.

“For what it's worth, I do sincerely apologize for my family causing your family harm.”

“You are capable of being a good man, Kingslayer.” It didn’t sound encouraging to Jaime when the boy added the latter. It was made much worse when he added, “Burn them all.”

Jaime’s jaw dropped as Bran continued, “The Mad King was going to destroy Kings Landing, hoping he’ll be reborn in its ashes like a true dragon.”

Jaime shuddered as the boy spoke on.

“My father came in the throne room and judged you an oathbreaker, a man without honor. But he hadn’t seen Aerys burn people and rape his wife. My father knew nothing of Aerys’ plans.”

Jaime wanted to tell him to stop but it was as if he was choking.

“You hid behind your arrogance. A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinion of sheep.” _Tywin would never have that saying beyond the walls of his solar_. “So you buried all your sorrow and your pain and your shame as you buried yourself in your sister. And you thought it didn’t all matter as long as there was family. It was the one thing you learned from your father well.”

Faced with these horrible truths, Jaime felt like he was receiving his sick punishment from Bran Stark, but the boy was unsmiling as he said it.

“But I’ve seen your journey after Robb Stark captured you. You’ve grown, just as I had grown. Just as Sansa, Arya, Jon, Daenerys, and everyone alive today, had grown. Emerged from our different trials are the people Westeros needed in this greater war.”

Jaime nodded grimly. Bran was right. What had happened didn’t matter. It was what they could do in the present mattered.

“I can’t offer you forgiveness,” Bran said after a long moment of silence. “It would mean having to be Bran and I’m not sure I want him getting in the way of what should happen if he chooses not to forgive you.”

“I don’t deserve to even be standing here,” Jaime muttered.

“Her heart is yours,” Bran suddenly told him, confusing Jaime. In his journey North, he had thought about Cersei a lot, bleeding out all his fury and heartbreak by slashing at trees on the way, like drawing out poison from a wound, that all that was left in his heart was guilt and pity for when he arrived at Winterfell. Did Bran thought that Jaime still loved his sister the same?

“It will always be yours.”

With that, Jaime knew that Bran did not mean Cersei.

“Lord Bran, Ser Jaime,” another voice greeted and Jaime froze at the timing.

“Lady Brienne,” Bran greeted back.

Somehow, Jaime was still able to turn to Brienne and bow, despite his shock.

“My lady,” Jaime greeted, surprised to find his voice even.

“Am I interrupting something?” Brienne asked. “Lady Sansa just wishes to see you in her chambers, Lord Bran. I can tell her—”

“No. Ser Jaime and I are done here,” Bran interrupted. “Why don’t both of you accompany me. My arms are rather sore from pushing my wheels.”

Jaime was gripping one handlebar when he realized that he would probably make Bran’s ride uncomfortable from lack of control. Luckily, Brienne made her way over and took the handlebar from Jaime.

“Let’s all move on, shall we?” Bran said.

Jaime wasn’t sure if Bran meant it literally or something much deeper but as he walked away with the broken tower behind him and Brienne beside him, Jaime knew he was moving on from his past to fight for a better future.

Hopefully a future where he's still warm and alive with the stubborn honorable wench with the eyes of the summer oceans just as warm and alive beside him.

And maybe he can truly and fully move on.


	78. A Bittersweet Song

Podrick froze while beside him, Bronn just laughed bitterly over the howl of the winter winds.

"Look at you fookers," Bronn cackled, gripping his dragonglass blades on both hands, ready to attack. "Come on, Pod, your lady would want you to do this."

Pod hesitantly followed Bronn's stance and watched the two wights just as his lady taught him. Bronn ordered the squire to wait for his signal.

"Now!" Bronn roared and Pod saw the opening. Together, sellsword and squire lunged at their former masters. They stabbed at the chinks in their armor and watched as they crumbled into dust.

"We have no time to mourn for them," the sellsword said to Pod. Despite his desire for riches, Pod knew Bronn had grown fond of his lord as well. "Look at it this way, they died together. One cannot be without the other. We did them a service."

Bronn was right. The song of Ser Jaime Lannister and Lady Brienne of Tarth was a bitter one but it was just as sweet, too. Pod hoped to live through this battle. He'd make sure every man, woman, and child from the green lands Westeros to the hot deserts of the East would sing of the tales of the Lion of Lannister and his Maid of Tarth once spring arrived and through many generations to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but if I might make amends, you can read my soulmate AU XD
> 
> But hey... they died together. :D


	79. Touch

Cersei worked hard to bring Jaime under her command. Years and years of mapping out and categorizing all the places Jaime liked to be kissed, caressed, squeezed. She put in a great amount of time, effort, and thinking into it all.

But all it took for Brienne was a rough yank in the arm and a pair of blue eyes and Jaime was undone.


	80. Hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally got so stressed out right now. I'm writing. xD *shakes fists at math*

"Lady Brienne."

Brienne swiftly turned to the sound of the voice, the voice she's known by heart no matter how long they've been away from one another.

Sure enough, she finds _him_ standing in the other end of the dining hall of the inn across her. He appeared grey, worn, and weary, but somehow, glint in his eyes were lighter, as if a great weight had lifted from his shoulders.

Absentmindedly, she took one step, then another until she almost sprinted towards a growing smile, once cutting now genuine.

Without thinking at all, she wrapped her arms around his neck, nearly toppling him from the force of her assault.

Jaime stiffened and it hit Brienne what she had done. Suddenly shy, she loosened her hold and almost pulled away but Jaime moved to reciprocate her gesture. His arms circled her waist, pulling her firmly against him. He turned his face and nuzzled her neck, breathing deeply as if sniffing her.

"Jaime," she whispered. "You're..." The words were stuck in her throat. She wanted to say too many things but it was as if she was suddenly mute.

"Brienne," he drawled against her neck. She felt his lips lightly brush her neck. Her face grew hot. "I'm never letting you leave ever again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember on twitter, I think, people wanted a JB reunion on their way to Winterfell and Brienne hugs Jaime out of excitement.
> 
> HAPPY JB WEEK EVERYONE!


	81. Fuck You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't gonna write any fic this week but stress got to me again and that interview happened. idefk what this is but okay XD

Ever since Jaime’s betrothal to Brienne to cement his alliance with the North, Bronn had been teasing him endlessly, making constant remarks about their coming bedding.

At first, it was tolerable. Despite the fact that it had been many years ago and he had been terribly ill from the loss of his hand, Jaime still remembered Brienne’s naked body too well and her strong yet gentle hold when she caught him in the bath. Jaime knew Brienne deserved better than him and she deserved better than to be thought of in that way by the likes of him but he couldn’t help it. He had desired her even when he had been still very much in love with Cersei. Now, his body was thrumming in anticipation for the coming wedding. Brienne and her naked body haunted him in every moment—waking and slumbering.

But it was for that very reason that he was beginning to get irritated by the sellsword’s lewd remarks. For one, it was disrespectful of Brienne. But mostly because he had been walking around with a throbbing cock.

It had already been a few hours since the betrothal and Bronn’s merciless uncouth comments hadn’t died down. In fact, it was getting worse and worse… or better. The man had quite an imagination, much to Jaime’s desire and irritation. But Jaime had quite enough.

He waited when they were climbing the stairs, where he was certain nobody was around, before finally snapping.

“Yes, Bronn! I am going to _fuck_ Brienne!”

His voice echoed throughout the walls. Bronn actually looked taken aback. Jaime thought the man was finally humbled but he noticed his gaze wasn’t on him. He turned around to see what Bronn was looking at.

Jaime gaped at what he found.

Brienne stood a few steps below him, her face was cold hard stone, though her cheeks were red. For a large woman, Brienne surprisingly had quiet steps.

After a second, she fled.

“Brienne, wait!” he called out, telling Bronn to fuck off before running after his soon-to-be-bride.

Brienne was fast but Jaime was able to match her strides. He was able to grab her by the arm, yanking her to a halt. Amusingly, he was vaguely reminded of the Dragonpit where she had done the same. He dragged her to the nearest closet were firewood was stored. He pushed her in it and propped a piece of wood against the door to stop anyone from entering. He turned to Brienne, about to explain himself but she beat him to it.

“You’re going to _fuck_ me? Is that it?” she hissed. Jaime watched her eyes look dangerous and vulnerable at the same time. Then again, the most vulnerable people have always been the most dangerous ones.

Brienne’s chin began wobbling as her vulnerability was winning over. It was evident from her trembling voice. “I know I’m not a suitable bride and I’m not C…” she trailed off for a moment, neither wanting her to continue that sentence. “But I thought you at least respected me, Jaime!”

Jaime opened his mouth but Brienne wasn’t finished.

“I’ve always spoken highly about you and while I don’t expect you to sing praises of me as if I were the Maiden, at least don’t speak about our… _duty_ , as if you were doing it with a common whore! As if _I_ was a common whore.”

“For gods’ sake!” Jaime hissed. He wasn’t sure if it was the frustration with Brienne or Bronn or his breeches but Jaime screamed the thing he had been afraid of telling her since her reluctant agreement to the betrothal. “I _love_ you, you honorable stubborn fool! That’s why I want to fuck you!”

It was Brienne’s turned to be surprised but she quickly recovered, huffing in disbelief. Doubt shone from her large astonishing eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he drawled sarcastically, before growling once more. “I’m a bloody Lannister and I can’t talk without it sounding like a fucking insult. Let me speak like how the romantic stories would.”

Jaime backed her up against the piles of firewood, pressing himself against her. He was thankful for the many, many layers of winter clothing to hide his arousal. He, then, grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. He watched as her sapphire irises thinned and her pupils blow wide.

“I’m going to make sweet, sweet love to you, Brienne,” he said softly but firmly. “Is that what you want to hear?”

Without breaking their gaze, Brienne slowly nodded. Jaime could see it. She wanted him but she was still hesitant, afraid.

He had been, too, but now, nothing was going to happen if they were both afraid. Brienne was still too good for him but if she was going to have him, Jaime will be damned if he doesn’t take the opportunity to treat her as she deserved to be treated.

But _someone_ needed to break this wall of tension between them.

Jaime pulled her face down towards his, their lips meeting.

At first, she was unresponsive and Jaime braced himself for a punch, but he was surprised when she opened her mouth in response to his coaxing tongue. Brienne was clearly inexperienced. It might even be her first kiss. Jaime didn’t want to know, feeling a little jealousy at the theoretical man who have taken her lips before him. The jealousy fueled more passion into the kiss. First or not, he was going to make it good for Brienne.

His hand and stump began wandering toward her body while her arms remained at her sides. It was probably due to her not knowing what to do.

Suddenly, Jaime had an idea.

He abruptly pulled away, trying not to laugh at her flinch of disappointment.

“Why don’t I show you what it’s like to make love?”

Before she could protest, he added, “It’s the end of the world and we’re going to be married soon anyway.” He could see her doubt again.

“If you want to, that is,” he hastily added. Brienne may desire him but he wanted to be sure that she was ready and willing.

She bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor, and Jaime thought they were done.

Then, she looked up with red cheeks and a shy smile, saying the sweetest words he’d ever heard at that time, “Yes, I’ll do it.”

Grinning stupidly, Jaime dragged her out of the storage closet. Together, they ran through the halls of Winterfell, headed to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY EMERALD DAY!!!


	82. Fallen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw this photo on my newsfeed and thought it was perfect for Sapphire day.
> 
> Literally wrote this on the spot.

"Brienne!" came a roar from the bedroom as she came home. "Help me! I'm injured!"

Brienne felt a panic. Her best friend was not exactly clumsy but he had a tendency to be prideful. No doubt he might've fixed something in their run down apartment that was too much for him.

"Just... let me get the first aid kit!" she shouted back, scrambling to the bathroom just directly outside his room. Her hands shook as she looked through the medicine cabinet.

"Hurry, Brienne! I'm in horrible agonizing pain."

She finally found the white box and hurried out of the bathroom.

"I've fallen!" she could hear Jaime whine just when her hand was on the doorknob. She pushed the door open, expecting to find him sprawled on the floor, bleeding or something.

But Jaime was on his bed, uninjured, wearing a sparkly blue tuxedo as if it were embedded with thousands of sapphires. His body was stretched out on his side, his head propped up by his one hand while his stump laid seductively on his thigh. Food, wine, and winter rose petals were laid in front of him.

"...fallen in love with your beautiful eyes."


	83. Love

Jaime had done many vile, unspeakable things for love.

But only a greater love--a love he found in blue--could make him do better for the whole realm.


	84. The Hazmat Suit

Bronn was sneaking around the costume shop with a large heavy costume in hand, looking for Jaime Lannister, his boss' brother.

The idiot had been smirking at his phone and Bronn peeped to see what he was smirking about. Bronn grimaced seeing a photo of his twin sister, Cersei Baratheon, in a red and gold gown to wear for _their_ son's medieval themed party.

Bronn had joked if Jaime wanted to find him some similar red and gold doublet so they could match. But then he found a hazmat suit instead.

It was perfect.

Cersei Lannister was hot but the woman was a walking nuclear reactor and the moron wanted her for some reason. It was sick enough she was his twin sister.  


Lannister was gone before he could toss it at him though. Hence why Bronn was hiding behind clothes racks in a cheap costume shop.

Finally, he spotted the man's back. Damn, even his back is prettier than some people's faces. Bronn sprung out from behind the racks, ready to fling the costume when he spotted two more familiar faces.

Sansa Stark, the heiress of Winterfell, was no fan of the Lannisters after dating the aforementioned son. Yet he didn't find the loathing usually reserved for the Lannisters. She was looking to Jaime with curiosity.

Beside her was Brienne Tarth, her bodyguard. She was ugly and looked more man than woman, but her current demeanor made her appear a maiden.

She was wearing a blue gown that actually did compliment her figure a bit, but she was obviously very uncomfortable, rubbing her arms nervously. She stared at Jaime Lannister, shyly but there was something sharp about her gaze as well.

"Don't mock me," Brienne spat, her already blushing face, turning even redder.

"I'm not!" Jaime protested. Bronn could hear the slight whine in his voice and he nearly laughed at that. "Blue really does suit you. It goes well with your eyes."

Bronn looked down on the hazmat suit in his hands before walking away to return it back to its spot. Perhaps the stupid man still has hope after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this meme: [LINK](https://twitter.com/IAmClouded/status/917272197571293184)


	85. Definitely Strong Enough

"I'm too heavy!" Brienne protested for the nth time but Jaime had been deaf to her cries the whole day.

As Brienne expected, he replied, "I'm strong enough, wench."

Brienne simply allowed herself to get dragged by her boyfriend to the starting line, knowing his stubborness.

"Fine. But don't blame me if you lose to your sister," Brienne said, wrapping her arms around Jaime's neck. Jaime hadn't cared about the Lannister Family Sportsfest. Even before they started dating, Brienne had often helped him escape the 'compulsory' family affair.

However, some days before the event, Jaime and his twin, Cersei had some sort of fight which ended up with him and Brienne attending the Lannister Family Sportsfest to settle it once and for all.

"We won't..." Jaime grunted as he lifted her by the bottom and carried her on his back. "...lose to that bitch."

"Jaime! There are kids around," Brienne hissed.

"I'd give you a kiss for an apology but I'm busy at the moment. How about you do that instead... for luck?"

Brienne could hear him wink in his voice. Although she was blushing, she complied by kissing the back of his head. "Why don't you save your energy not talking?"

"Nope." How does he sound cheerful while carrying her? "I'm more pumped up this way."

Brienne just lets it slide, even if she'll have to deal with his sulking. At least she's certain that he won't blame her.

"Ready to lose?" a female voice that sounded like poisoned honey drawled beside them. Brienne turned to see a smug Cersei Lannister already on Robert's huge back, her dainty arms around his neck.

"I should be asking you the same question, sister," Jaime retorted without turning to her.

Their bickering was cut short when the announcer's voice blared over the speakers.

"On your mark... get set... GO!"

Jaime carried Brienne with more ease than she expected. He was strong enough to run while carrying her.

Too bad everyone else was ahead of them.

Well, not everyone.

Behind Jaime and Brienne, they could hear Cersei's shrieks, demanding Robert to go faster.

Cheers for the first placer rang through their ears but they were barely halfway there. By the time the cheers for the fifth placer went off, Jaime-Brienne and Robert-Cersei were neck and neck. Most of the crowd had fallen silent to see which Lannister couple would breach the finish line first. Brienne could only hug Jaime. Win or lose, she was proud of him for doing this. Secretly, she liked being treated like a woman, even if she felt like a heavy sack.

"I believe in you, Jaime," Brienne whispered in his ear

Suddenly, his muscles tensed. For a moment, she thought he was going to give in. Then, as if she had a rope around her waist, Brienne was abruptly tugged forward.

Next thing she knows, she was past a red-faced Cersei and Robert and they crossed the finish line. The screams of the crowd were more deafening than when the first placers won.

Brienne immediately jumped from Jaime's back and turned her boyfriend around to kiss him. Even sweaty and panting Brienne thought he tasted good.

"I love you," Brienne blurted out.

Jaime's expression melted into a sweet bliss.

"I love you, too."

They were about to kiss again when Cersei and Robert panted in front of them, the latter lying on the ground.

"What are you so smug about, Jaime? You lost!" Cersei hissed.

"The agreement was between us. So, I still technically win," Jaime declared proudly before hissing demandingly, "Now say it."

Cersei sighed. She went over to the announcer and tore the microphone from his hands.

"Brienne Tarth is definitely womanly enough to be Jaime's girl," she announced over the speakers. Cersei was about to leave and help her husband but Jaime was shooting her a glare. She rolled her eyes before speaking into the mic once more. "Also, she is worthy to be a Lannister."

The mic boomed and wailed as she dropped it to the ground until someone picked it up.

Brienne turned to Jaime, about to berate Jaime for such display when he knelt on one knee. The whole Lannister clan grew quiet and turned their attention on them.

"W-what... you said you and Cersei were fighting about family matters."

"Yes, we did," he replied, smirking.

"I thought you meant, Tyrion!"

Cersei seemed to hate everyone... maybe except Robert but that's shaky at best... however, Tyrion was a different sort of level.

"Not this time. I figured Tyrion adores you. Tywin accepts you--which is his equivalent of any sort of affection. I'm gonna make Cersei accept you in front of the whole family for constantly insulting you."

 _Typical Jaime_. But it didn't stop her from berating him. "Jaime! I don't care what Cersei thinks, I would marry you without her permission."

"You two can stop talking as if I wasn't here," Cersei cut in.

"Well, I just wanted my living immediate family on board and--oh fuck! Let me do this properly."

Brienne laughed as he scrambled through his pockets.

Her laughter morphed into shock when he finally held out a small blue velvet box.

"Brienne..." he began, opening the box to reveal a simple silver ring with a single sapphire stone. "...will you do me the honor of being officially a part of the Lannister family?"

Brienne bit her lip, humming as if contemplating.

"Come on, Brienne. My knees are going to give," Jaime complained.

She couldn't keep up her stoicism anymore. Her heart was clenching and her eyes were tearing up.

"Yes," she breathed out. and Jaime immediately beamed. He nearly tossed out the engagement ring as he sprung up from his position. He managed to slip it through her finger before kissing her.The crowd around them finally broke their silence and gave a roaring applause.

"Did you seriously have to let Cersei make the announcement though?" Brienne asked, after they finally parted. "Not very romantic."

"Yeah but making her do that made my day," Jaime snorted in reply.

"I'm still here!" Cersei shrieked but she went ignored as the newly engaged couple kissed once more.

When they pulled away for air, Brienne had a thought.

"Does this mean I'm going to have to attend more Lannister Family Sportsfest?" Brienne asked, grimacing.

"After that race? Probably not. My back is killing me."

Brienne didn't say anything but she shot him an 'I-told-you-so' look. Jaime winked at her though.

"Hey, I would break your back for you, babe."

She rolled her eyes. "As if I'll let you."

"True. But maybe we'll see in eight years. We might attend for the sake of our seven kids."

Brienne's face turned redder than the family's sigil. She already fit right in. But the sharp glare in her eyes indicated that she would always be her own person. Jaime hoped their kids would have her eyes.

"I'm not giving birth every year, you lewd bastard!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another ending of this in mind but I left this unfinished over a month so I forgot the original ending until I finished the whole thing. Maybe I'll write out the other ending later? idk xD


	86. True Love Wins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to Definitely Strong Enough.
> 
> I found a way to continue it with the ending I originally inteded but didn't wanna edit it. xD
> 
> Written on the spot

Tyrion approached the newly betrothed couple.

"Congratulations on your win and your engagement, brother," Tyrion said rather hastily, looking around in nervousness.

"You seem in a rush, Tyrion. You usually love festivities," Brienne told the younger brother.

"Oh yes I do but I must leave now, before Bronn finds out I'm gone."

"What did you bet on this time?" Jaime snorted.

Tyrion squirmed in his spot. "Who knew true love would win over size... or Robert really is that fat," he said with a shrug.

"What do you--"

"Pay up, golden cunts," they could hear Bronn say and Jaime and Brienne turned around to find Lannisters flocking around Bronn and handing him money.

They turned back to find Tyrion gone.

Then, Bronn yelled, "Oi Imp! You fooking get back here! It's not my fault you don't believe in your brother's love for his fiancee!"

The whole clan laughed in amusement as Bronn chased Tyrion to the parking lot.


	87. Just Be There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you've been looking at math notes for nearly three days straight...
> 
> ...and feeling college angsty...
> 
> ...I also kinda miss my friends.
> 
> Phone typed and written on the spot

Jaime thought that if he had to see another geometric figure asking for forces acting on a certain point, he would probably vomit and throw his notes at the nearest wall. But he cannot do that. It was bad enough he had to meet his father's disappointed glare whenever he came home during the holidays.

 _What did father know anyway?_ He was never there for them. If he was, it was to find fault in him. He would never had understood the pain he felt when he found out Cersei had been cheating on him. He'd probably call him weak and pathetic, letting a woman take over his life, but it had hurt a lot. He had spiraled into a dark period and his academics suffered badly as a result.

And it wasn't like Barristan was a good teacher. He talked too fast and didn't even give you time to copy the notes. If he did, you couldn't understand his shit handwriting.

Now he was held back a year, just to repeat this godsdamned subject. His fists clenched at the thought. He wanted to blame the teacher, his father, Cersei.

 _Breathe_.

No. It was all on him.

The teacher didn't tell Jaime to neglect his studies. Tywin didn't tell Jaime to drink himself to a stupor. Cersei didn't tell Jaime to spend most of his semester in bed, wallowing in guilt, instead of doing something about it. He made his choices. Only he can undo his mistakes.

But it was just so damn hard.

He could feel tears springing in his eyes when he heard the door open. Jaime blinked quickly to hide those tears away.

"Lovely evening, wench!" Jaime greeted cheerfully at his roommate, Brienne, without turning around. He could hear her grunt in disapproval. The literature freshman had been the highlight of what should've been his shitty first semester of his senior year. Wench had been taken from one of her textbooks he had read over her shoulder some weeks passed and he'd grown fond of it since.

"You've been rooted there since this morning," she said. Jaime didn't miss the worried tone at all. She used that on him a lot lately. Perhaps a lot of it had to do with the time Jaime came to their apartment drunk and threatening to jump off the window but she held him back and he had told her of his troubles. "Have you even eaten at all?"

Now that she mentioned it, Jaime hadn't had dinner.

"I guess I'll get something to eat later," he replied with a shrug.

"No worries. I got you something already."

Jaime could hear the plastic bags much clearly now. One settled next to his notes. He stared at the plastic bag from Burger Khal and knew what it was immediately.

"Chicken and coke float?" He finally turned to her. Brienne looked the same as she always did with her broad plain manly features but something about her made his heart flutter. Her blotchy red cheeks, her constellation of freckles, and those big blue eyes that were bright with concern. She'd usually gaze at him sharply but they're softer now. "How..." the words choked in his throat.

Brienne shrugged looking away. Her cheeks seem redder than before. "You tend to forget to eat near an exam and if you become hungry enough, you end up ordering these."

His heart sped up at her gesture and that she would notice these about him.

"Thank you," he said and she briefly met his gaze. 

"Just... don't be too hard on yourself okay? You had a rough year, but you'll rise again." She graced him with a soft smile. It was no supermodel smile but it melted him to his core all the same. He wished Brienne smiled more.

"Well then, go on and eat," she mock chided him. "You're not going to solve all those problems on an empty stomach."

"Aye aye, captain wench!" he replied.

Jaime momentarily looked back to his notes, still wanting to burn the damn thing, but he was glad to have Brienne just be there for him.


	88. Objection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this idea long before but I forgot if I ever posted it. xD

"I object!" the groom, or who should've been the groom, yelled, his gravelly voice echoing around the walls of the sept.

"Seven fooking hells," he, then, grumbled. "I want my castle and highborn wife but not like this."

Bronn stepped down the altar and grabbed the armored Lord Lannister seated in front.

"Marry her before I change my fooking mind," Bronn growled, shoving Jaime Lannister roughly towards the Maid of Tarth.

The former sellsword rolled his eyes as Jaime and Brienne stared at one another with confusion, hesitance, and longing.

"If you two quit eye fooking, you can get to the actual fooking!"


	89. Kiss Cam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed stress fic again xD

Brienne's heart stopped when she found her face blown up on screen. She watched her blush crawl up her wide freckled face. Beside her was her date, Hyle, whose head was bent down from looking at his phone. He has been for most of the game.

The cheers that usually accompanied the crowd when the kiss cam spotted a couple couldn't drown the mocking laughter. She tore her gaze away from the screen, unable to bear the sight of her ridiculous face.

"Hyle," she whispered frantically, tugging at her date's sleeves.

"Not now, Brienne, I'm busy," he hissed.

Brienne wanted to peer at whatever had been distracting him when something roughly grabbed her from behind and turn her around. Before she could even know the identity of the perpetrator, a pair of lips smashed against hers.

She knew she should move away and probably punch the person who did this but she found herself melting into the kiss. It was desperate, familiar... and very brief.

They broke apart and Brienne's heart went wild when she recognized the man bent over, panting.

"Weren't you in the V.I.P. stand?" was the only thing that came out of her still tingling mouth.

His messy blonde head lifted and a pair of green eyes glinted at her despite his obvious exhaustion.

"I'm glad I pushed through crowds of sweaty people for you not to punch me," he replied before straightening up. "Now, can I give you a real kiss?"

Not even thinking about Hyle beside her, she pulled Jaime's face for a much less hurried but still passionate kiss. The crowd went wild as digital fireworks exploded outside the heart that framed Jaime and Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm gonna be eating a slice of pizza from each of my hand and cry at JB's perfection.


	90. Unsurprising News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just dropping my dumb fic-a-thon ficlets I made during JB week . I keep on forgetting to post them xD
> 
> Ficlet 1/2
> 
> From Roose's POV

"A bearpit you say?" Roose repeated what his messenger from Harrenhal said.  
  
"A-apolpogies, m'lord but they couldn't refuse, Ser--"  
  
Roose held up a hand to silence the stuttering boy.  
  
"It's fine. I should have expected that," he sighed. After the bath they shared and that hand holding that lasted too long, Roose shouldn't be surprised at all that he came back for the Tarth woman despite what Roose had told him. Jaime Lannister had such peculiar taste in women but at least that one, though ungainly, was not related to him.  
  
Roose sipped his wine, wondering if another wedding was happening.


	91. Split Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/2 Dumb Fic-a-thon Ficlet
> 
> Bronn POV (we just can't get enough of Bronn now can we? xD)
> 
> This should be set post s7 and Jaime, with Bronn catch up with Brienne and Pod and the Hound (cause I don't see him with Team Jonaerys so I assume he traveled with Brienne)

"Pod, Clegane, and I will take one bedroom, and Lord Pretty Boy and the Lady will take the other," Bronn declared. As expected, the two spluttered protests, but Bronn raised a hand to silence them.  
  
"It's not like the two of you hadn't traveled alone together before. Would you rather have the lady sleep alone with one of us?"  
  
Bronn didn't mention that Podrick had traveled with the Lady and hoped nobody would speak about it.  
  
Luckily, both of them conceded with a grumble but he caught the shy stares they gave one another.  
  
When Lord Jaime and Lady Brienne closed the door on them, Clegane spoke.  
  
"Are they fucking?"  
  
Bronn snorted. He liked this guy.  
  
"From the way they look at each other, probably not... yet."


	92. Drama Queen

"Come on, Jo. I was only joking," Jaime said, pounding on his daughter's bedroom door.

"Go away, dad!"

_By the gods, was she crying?_

"Jo, this is overdramatic for a guy you never met," he growled, growing more and more agitated over his daughter's behavior. It was the most wrong thing to say though because he could hear music blasting from the other side of the door in full volume.

"You're one to talk."

Jaime whirled his head around and found his wife leaning on the doorway with her arms crossed and a smug smile on her face.

"You daughter is being a drama queen!" Jaime couldn't restrain the rising tone of his voice.

Brienne snorted. "Says the one who constantly hissed at Sandor Clegane when we first started dating."

"I didn't like him constantly talking to you."

"He was a colleague... and I have plenty more examples."

"Okay, okay fine," he conceded. "Maybe I _was_ being overdramatic but I was _dating_ you. Your daughter isn't dating the man. I was hoping she took after your level-headedness, wife."

"Sadly she doesn't but you should've known that before teasing your thirteen-year-old female version that you're going to kiss Dickon Tarly, the love of her adolescent life, for your next movie."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had a really funny thought about dramatic teenagers and their celebrity crushes and how awkward it must be like if your parent was an actor and kissed your celeb crush in a movie. xD


	93. Haunted

Jaime didn't want to tell Brienne that her fine ass in tiny tight shorts had caused his arousal.

In his panic, he shouted at the top of his lungs, "My penis is possessed!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween XD


	94. Knights and Maidens Rescue Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A 21-year-old Jaime Lannister babysits a six-year-old Brienne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you read childhood friends AU XD

"Ser Jaime, why does the knight have to rescue their maiden?"

He looked down on the six-year-old girl clutching his hand. She was taller than most children her age and not even half as pretty but her bright blue eyes held the same wonder.

"Because it is their duty, Brienne," he answered.

"Well that's stupid," she muttered. Jaime had to laugh and Brienne blushed. "I-I just mean that why should maidens always rely on knights. Aren't they being a burden letting the knights do all the work?"

"You'd rescue yourself, sweetling? Or you'd have a husband who you'd love to rescue," he teased her.

Brienne's face turned even redder. "N-no, I mean. Both should be able to rescue each other. One shouldn't just be sitting idly and waiting."

Jaime thought the way the kid's eyes sparkled made up for the homeliness the gods saw to curse her.

"So, he still has to be strong?"

"Yes."

She said it so surely that Jaime thought her adorable.

"Come here you little--"

Brienne shrieked when he carried her by the armpits. Then, he spun her around making the girl laugh in delight. When he drew her to his chest, the girl yawned.

"You're strong enough," she mumbled sleepily.

That sent a pang through his chest. It had only been a few years since Aerys but the stigma will never leave him.

But he was glad someone thought he was a worthy knight to save this maiden.


	95. Giant Ginger Babies

Brienne watched her children sparring in the courtyard.

"Giant ginger babies who will soon conquer the world," Sandor, who had been standing beside her, commented.

They were taller than most of their peers and to everyone's surprise, had hair, red and not blonde.

Unsure what to say, she replied, "They're only eleven."

"I remember years ago, the ginger wildling told me you'd have them," the Hound snorted.

She knew who he spoke of and opened her mouth to reply but an arm wrapped around her waist, making her jump and squeak.

"He wasn't wrong."

Brienne tilted her head down a little and there was her husband, Jaime, smirking in satisfaction.

"My great grandmother, Lady Rohanne Webber had red hair," he shared. "She also had green eyes. And that's what these two have."

They watched as the taller, slimmer one managed to make the shorter, stockier one yield. The latter took off his helm as he did so.

"And look at how pretty they are," Jaime added. "Clearly that's from me."

The one who won also did the same, revealing a much softer, more feminine face.

"And twins, too--a male-female one. Definitely mine," Jaime said proudly, his grin even wider. Sandor was undisturbed by his smugness though.

"Best hope they don't fuck each other," the Hound snorted.

Brienne froze, bracing herself for Jaime's only fist flying toward the Hound.

To her relief, Jaime merely shrugged.

"They have their mother's good sense and morals," Jaime replied as they fondly watched Joanna helped pull up Duncan then ruffled his hair good naturedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about genetics and how much Westeros knows about it and I heard the female carries the twin gene for it to happen and that red hair is recessive gene. I'm gonna assume Brienne has both and Jaime is just being a smug ass. xD Also I remember being eleven and most of the girls were taller than the boys at that age.


	96. How Bronn Got His Castle

Bronn almost cried as he stood before his castle.

" _Lannisters_ always pays _their_ debts."

The sellsword looked behind him and Jaime Lannister was smiling at him. Actually _fucking_ smiling. It wasn't just scowling or forced smile but a real genuine smile.

" ** _A_** Lannister," Bronn corrected. "No doubt your wife was the one who got you to honor your debts at Valyrian sword point."

Beside Lord Lannister was his tall blushing wife, Lady Brienne of Tarth, glaring at his accusation. No doubt Lord Jaime did give the castle in his own accord but Bronn couldn't believe all he had to do was get Brienne of Tarth to lay with the Lord Pretty Boy for the latter to finally feel like he owed Bronn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will accept this as canon until otherwise. xD


	97. His Territory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just watched this Live Action of a manga called, 'Peach Girl' and I couldn't help but think of JB in a scene. xD

"Jaime, what the HELL are you doing!?"

"Marking my territory, wench."

"STOP RUBBING YOUR ASS AGAINST ME!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. They're in public.


	98. The Beauty of Tarth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not proofread well cause I had to finish before my battery emptys. xD

Tarth's beauty wasn't exaggerated.

The white sand felt soft on Jaime's bare feet, the only slight discomfort being the few clumps clinging between his toes where the crystal blue waves happened to lap on it.

But none compared to its heiress walking along the shore just where the frothy waves kissed the land. He watched her wildly flailing blonde hair and her broad shoulders relaxed in complete contentment, completely unaware of his presence.

Perhaps she was no beauty like most women but there was a different grace to her form. She was fierce like the winds but gentle as well. Her skin was as pale and soft as the sand on his feet.

Her strong torso was clad in blue armor, the one he gave her but her limbs were draped delicately in blue silk. On her hip was Oathkeeper, the sword he gave her. She appeared a lady as she appeared a knight.

In his mind, he wanted to call out, strongly and surely but her name poured out like a pleading whimper from his lips.

"Brienne?"

He thought his weak call was carried away by the winds but she spun around. Immediately, he was drawn to the one beautiful trait she had. Her astonishing eyes, sapphires like the color of the water around her island, looked upon him in surprise, then smiled.

"Jaime?"

It was as if all his breath knocked out from him. _Jaime_. He was once Kingslayer to her, then ser. But his name alone was the sweetest sound he'd ever heard.

His feet had a mind of its own when they bolted toward her. He saw Brienne do the same until the broad stretch of sand between them became narrower and narrower and they were wrapped in each other's arms buried in the crook of the other's neck.

Brienne broke away a little from their hug but her hold was still firm. As she stared at him, one of her hands slid up his red leather jacket, her warm fingers close to where he opened it to his bare chest.

"Jaime..." she whispered, her voice holding the same longing as is.

Jaime's stump traveled to her neck. He almost cried when she didn't flinch. Without breaking their gaze, Jaime slowly leaned his face closer to hers. His stump lightly nudged her neck and she understood.

"Jaime," she breathed when their lips where merely an inch.

"Ser Jaime?"

And Jaime snapped out of his fantasy.

Tarth was already out of his field of vision, not quite yet behind the boat but close. He whipped his head around and saw the ship's captain watching him both curiously and worryingly.

"Maybe you should head back down to the decks, ser," the captain suggested and Jaime obeyed.

As Jaime made his way down, he wanted to clout his own ear. He kept on promising himself not to think about Lady Brienne, especially not _that_ way, but he knew he broke that promise too many times.

"I don't love her," he muttered even though something deep in his heart was clawing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that, kids, is what went through Jaime's mind as he Tarthgasmed. xD
> 
> Based on a quote from 'How I Met Your Mother' that Ruby sent me:
> 
> "I don't love her. Okay? I just... miss her when she's not around. I think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running toward each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a ~~brown suede vest.~~ " (red leather jacket) xD


	99. Hard-Headed

Brienne's sapphire gaze glared dangerously at Jaime who had been reduced to tears when he laughed too hard at Brienne's stubborness.

He teased her that her hard-headedness would be the death of her.

 

* * *

 

Jaime had to fight his tears when he saw a pair of icy blue eyes trained on him, without a flicker of recognition.

Her head didn't seem so hard as he plunged his dragonglass into her rotting skull.


	100. The Best Man's Speech

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make up for that super angsty thing I wrote in my bad mood, here's fluuffff.
> 
> Yay to my 100th drabble/ficlet! ~~ugh I'm srsly cringing at the title of this general collection lmao~~ *celebration emojis*

Jaime really wants Brienne--Brienne _Lannister--_ and bed her as a husband, as his wife.

Unfortunately, he promised to at least sit through his brother's speech. So he makes do with wrapping one arm around Brienne's waist while the hand of the other arm stroking her thigh--higher than Brienne would deem proper but the bottom half of their torsos are well-hidden under the table so he knows she'd let it slide.

Besides, based from the thrum of her body Jaime could tell Brienne is getting impatient, too.

"Our father told us that he wanted at least ten Lannister grandsons," Tyrion begins. Jaime is rubbing his cheek needily against Brienne's bare shoulder already. "So, I'm not going to make my best man speech long because you two look like you want to get started on grandson number one. Good night!"

The bride immediately spits out her drink and untangles herself from her laughing husband's clutches.


	101. Digital Dilemmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Brienne being "gamers".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Ruby, I may have stolen one of the scenes from your own personal experience. xD

"Jaime, it's my turn to use the computer."

"Go away, Brienne. I'm three stages from finishing this level."

"You said you'd stop one level ago."

"You didn't make me oathkeeper promise. Besides, all you do is play solitaire. Such an _old lady_ game."

"Oh and you think your ball-spitting frog from a pre-installed game of an outdated operating system makes you cool?"

"You're just jealous cause Zuma still makes me cooler than your archaic card game... fuck!"

"Serves you right. Now it's my turn."

 

* * *

 

"Shit fuck!"

"Dad, not so loud or mom's going to find out you lost."

"I'm so glad I can count on you to extend my playing hours, Joanna."

"Yeah. I just don't understand why you and mom don't download candy crush on your own phones... or at least one of your phones."

"It's distracting during work and it's a couple thing, sweetling."

"Okay fine. But what I don't understand is why _my_ phone has to be _your_ game phone."

"So you won't get too attached to your phone. Now, finish your homework, Joanna."

 

* * *

 

"Not fair, you cheated!"

"How do I even _cheat_ on a playstation game, Jaime?"

"You keep on using the same character, Brienne."

" _Lily_ gets the job done for me so that is not cheating!"

"One more round?"

"Fine just so I could see you make a scene like a sore loser again."

"Jo, when are we going to get our turn?"

"Knowing mom and dad? _Never_."

"But this is the tenth time they said one more round! And they're just button smashing!"

"Trust me, Gall. When these two start playing any kind of digital game, not just Tekken mind you, they'll be at it for hours, bickering."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because parents are so adorable playing their games for hours xD I'd like to thank Solitaire, Zuma, and Tekken for some of my teenage-hood. xD Not Candy Crush. I don't like that game.


	102. The Twins' Debate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby didn't even intentionally prompted me with this but I was stil inspired. xD

Since Joanna's death, Tyrion didn't have home videos of his childhood. But his older twin siblings, Jaime and Cersei had an abundance of them before their mom's passing.

Despite its sad implications, Tyrion did use it to his advantage sometimes. Since their mom was dead and their dad was dead on the inside, he decided to play the embarrassing parent with baby receipts to show the significant others his older siblings take home.

While his older brother was distracted cooking their dinner, he decided to show Brienne the video he'd been saving for the one he was certain was going to be his sister-in-law. He'd already used a different video for Cersei. (A six-year old Cersei's best public meltdown.) The woman had to be held back by a loudly laughing Robert Baratheon, saving Tyrion from being strangled by her vicious claws. (Which made Tyrion wonder if Cersei even changed at all from that video.)

The footage began, showing a four-year-old Jaime and Cersei in the bathtub with a stressed but smiling Joanna rinsing their soapy heads. Based on the sounds, Tywin was the one holding the camera.

"Should I be watching this?" Brienne asked.

"Come on, Brienne. Just indulge me. I'm playing embarrassing parent here."

Brienne was squirming in the couch but she was thankfully holding back her knight-in-shining-armor persona and not stopping Tyrion's evil plans.

The twins were now having a water fight and Cersei was flailing her limbs a little too much.

"Cersei, sweetie, don't kick around too much or you'll hit your brother in his peepee," Joanna softly chided as she grasped Cersei's hands.

Tyrion smirked when Brienne snorted at _peepee_.

"Is nah my fauwt his peepee huwts easiwy!" Cersei huffed indignantly. Tyrion wanted to roll his eyes at his sister's bitchiness. "Mine's so much bettew coz mine don't huwt easiwy!"

Jaime rose from the tub, exposing his bare body and glaring down at his sister.

"Well..." Little Jaime was puffing his cheeks. "You cant pway with yow peepee. I can!" Jaime made his point by holding on to his _peepee_ and flapping it around.

Joanna's scolding was drowned by Brienne laughter. _Phase one was successful,_ Tyrion thought _._ Even when the footage already stopped, Brienne was still trying to breathe properly.

"Well, I don't intend to find out who was right between me and Cersei." They turned around to find adult Jaime standing in amusement. _Damn_. Tyrion was disappointed by his older brother's nonchalance. "But I know a certain _wench_ enjoys playing with my fully grown _peepee_ in the bath."

Tyrion found himself almost as mortified as Brienne. He not only failed his mission but oh how the tables turned on him.


	103. From a C to a B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quickie fic. Very little proofreading. (What's new in this installment? xD)
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I know little of Western grading systems sorry. *lurks somewhere nearby and looks at you*

Brienne almost jumped when a piece of paper was shoved in front of her face. She peered around it and found a pair of green eyes twinkling up at her. Despite the fact that he couldn't read Jaime Lannister's smile, her heart did a dance at the sight of it.

"What?" she snapped at him. It definitely was _not_ to berate her skipping heart. "Are you here to blame me for you not getting the A+ in history you always bragged about? Because let me tell you--"

"I come here in peace, wench," he said and she glared at him even as he raised his arms in surrender. It irked her to no end that of all the words he picked up in their studying together, it was _that_ one, but she'd didn't say anything--partly due to the familiarity of his moniker, partly because she would let him speak everything he wanted to say or else he'd keep interrupting her if she didn't. "It's not the A+ I wanted--and I'm certain you have--but I went from a C-to a B+, Brienne!"

"I'm proud of you, Jaime," she replied, even gracing him with a small smile. Jaime may be a pain in her ass but she was truly proud of him nonetheless.

"So..." he trailed off, as if he was pondering his next words. That was unusual. Jaime almost never seemed to breathe when he talked even if sometimes, she felt as if he didn't know what came out of his mouth. "I know our agreement was only for this history midterm..."

Before, Brienne hadn't wanted to agree but it was Renly, who she previously partnered up with until he decided to be with Loras, that had recommended her to Jaime. Brienne had liked Renly too much to say no while Jaime was desperate and it had been the glue that kept them together at first. Only much later did Brienne realize that she did genuinely liked Jaime's company but she wouldn't admit it. Not even to herself.

"...but can you... maybe... be my study partner in literature class?"

She knew of his dyslexia but where did she come into the picture? She just clarified words as he read. Anyone can do that.

Before she could reply, he cut in. "I heard we're studying the romantic version of the Bear and the Maiden Fair. You like that sort stuff."

He seemed shy, which was very uncharacteristic of him, and her eyes instinctively narrowed in suspicion.

"Didn't you say you were going to go study with your sister again after this whole thing is over?" she found herself replying, genuinely perplexed. He kept telling her about going back to his sister (who Jaime hated when he found out that his sister had only gotten good scores through cheating) when he got frustrated.

He frowned a little but quickly masked his displeasure to impassiveness and shrugged.

" _Brienne_ , you're a much better study partner than her."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon-wise, all Jaime needs to do to get an A is to bang Brienne. We'll definitely hear a long string of As when they do. So I'll make that an A+ ;)
> 
> *scampers away*


	104. Brienne's Boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just when I thought I wasn't writing fic anymore xD lmao tried my best to edit but 30 mins.

Brienne openly scowled at the leering ginger waiting for her outside the lecture room.

“Why look so sad, my giantess?” Brienne shuddered at his address to her. She’d only known the guy yesterday and he was convinced she was already his. “Did your boyfriend dump you?”

Brienne didn’t stop the blush that crept on her face.

“N-no.”

Even Brienne could tell that her tone was off. Termunt… Dormud… whatever his name was, had approached her yesterday, blatantly trying to get her to his bed, but she’d adamantly refused. Still, he was consistent and out of frustration, the first thing she thought of was showing him the selfie of her and her long distance best friend, Jaime, and tell him he was her boyfriend. The guy had kept his distance and Brienne hoped it was the last of him.

“You sure? I bet that pretty boy southerner of yours is weak. I’m very gifted.”

It wasn’t.

Brienne wanted to punch his pervy face, but it wasn’t worth it. If Jaime could hear the guy, he’d probably be laughing his ass off. Just as he did last night when they video chatted and she’d told him everything. He’d even searched as far as the medieval vocabulary to find the endearing 'girlfriend' nickname for her. She abruptly ended their call when he started yelling chosen pet name at the top of his lungs near midnight.

“What your boyfriend doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” he suggested and it was the final straw. It sickened Brienne that he’d think she was that kind of woman.

Her mouth was open, ready for a loud verbal attack when a voice made her plan dissolve.

“Brienne!”

Her heart leapt as she spun around, met with the sight of Jaime and his messy golden curls and twinkling green eyes, standing a few feet from her and looking at her as if he really was her lovesick boyfriend. For a heartbeat (and her heart was indeed racing fast), she believed he truly was.

As Jaime narrowed the distance between them, Brienne opened her mouth, a question on her lips forming.

It never came out as his lips covered hers in a searing kiss.

Brienne should’ve pushed him away but deep deep in her heart, she had craved for this. Jaime, her mortal-enemy-turned-best friend, was secretly the love of her life. She’d always tried to push down her feelings, due to her insecurities and horrible past experiences. But in the dead of night, when she was at her loneliest, she remembered how Jaime always treated her. She remembered that despite his spitting words, they were honest. Despite him teasing how soft at heart she was, he believed in her passion and skills. Despite the fact that she was large and manly, he punched the assholes that were betting on her virginity.

Those late night thoughts now rushed in broad daylight and it prompted her to return his kisses just as fervently. All other thoughts but the feel of Jaime’s lips and tongue were thrown away.

Eventually though, they had to part for air. Brienne wanted to rest her forehead against his but his head tilted to the side. Brienne flamed at the realization of what just happened.

 _Jaime and I just made out… in front of the entire Winterfell University student body_. Brienne was hoping Director Stark wouldn’t call her out for this. The man seemed like a no nonsense person.

“Well, wench, it seemed as if I wouldn’t need to ask my family lawyer to issue a restraining order.”

Brienne frowned at the use of the nickname but then she understood what he had meant. She turned around just in time to see the ginger creep running away. Brienne fleetingly felt a little bad. She could’ve sworn she heard sniffles.

“Jaime, you didn’t have to come here. I can take care of myself.” Brienne could hear her voice didn’t have its usual bite. She could still feel her lips tingling from his earlier assault.

“Tell that to many dead girls with stalkers who said everything was fine,” he said in his rare serious tone. If teasing Jaime had her heart pounding, serious Jaime made her want to swoon.

Instead, Brienne sighed. “Really, Jaime, he’s harmless. Just probably after sex with an exotic woman. You didn’t need to come all the way from Kings Landing for this.”

“Oh don’t be so flattered, wench,” he said, rummaging through his bag and held up a piece of paper. Brienne gasped after reading the printed letters. Winterfell boasted the best programs in history courses, something Jaime was passionate in but his father thought useless.

“How?” she managed to blurt out.

“They were accepting late enrollees. I convinced dad I’ll be upholding our future by learning the past. Mostly, I bribed him that I’d highlight the golden acts of the Lannisters since Lann the Clever.” He looked so smug. “I wanted it to be a surprise. Looks like I came in just in time to save my girlfriend from her stalker.”

“I’m not your girlfriend!” Brienne denied but her heart protested.

Jaime bit his lip and gave her a wink.

“Hmmm. That kiss said otherwise, _wench_.”  
Her defensive mind had protests but they all seemed to be stuck in her throat, making her gape awkwardly like a fish. Jaime chuckled at that.

“Come on, Brienne. Let’s get coffee and talk this out.”

He held out his hand, like a prince or a knight of old, and she took it as if she were a fair maiden. Together, they walked out of the school building, hand-in-hand.

* * *

Back in the men’s dorm, Tormund had been crying on his roommate’s shoulder for the past hour. Sandor hadn’t moved away but he made no move to comfort him either.

“What have I done wrong, San?” Tormund wailed as a gush of snot landed on Sandor’s shirtsleeve.

Sandor ignored the gross mess on his shirt and instead turned his incredulity and disgust toward his roommate’s behavior.

“Do you want a fucking list?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Tormund and Sandor fell in love and they have a baby together with Sansa as the surrogate. And their trio is named STD.
> 
> The End! xD


	105. Hold

Cersei's hold was possessive. Her nails dug into his flesh as if to mark him, but her arms were loose, always ready to push Jaime away before the sun rose and the castle came to life.

Brienne's hold was comfort. Her hands were gentle upon his flesh as if he were something fragile, but her arms were firm and secure around him, letting Jaime know that she will never let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's official. I can only write drabbles when I'm busy as hell but not when I actually have free time. What is wrong with me? xD


	106. Harder than Valyrian Steel

Jaime's heart threatened to burst from his armored chest. Despite the many hard layers covering his skin, his arm still tingled from where Brienne had lightly grasped his arm to grab his attention earlier.

"Forget Valyrian steel," Bronn said, glancing down between Jaime's legs. "You could probably kill White Walkers with _that_."

 


	107. Fortress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi December xD

"Look, Lord Pretty Boy, I'm not complaining at being thrown at the women attempting to have a go at your long neglected cock but I'm sure your Lady of Tarth here would make a fine fortress against these women's gripping claws.

If only you'll  _ram down her gates_ and _breach her castle_ ."


	108. Gossip Guards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complete crack. I also didn't look at the episode for reference so sorry if I got something wrong.
> 
> Also sick so... achoo!

"Fuck loyalty! This goes beyond houses and honor and oaths. Talk to the queen!"

"... And tell her what?"

The guards followed the queen and her brother as they left the dragonpit. One of the younger guards, farthest from the queen, was lost in thought. Being young and inexperienced despite his skill, he was the first defense should anyone attack Queen Cersei. He'd no trouble dying. Nothing was waiting for him anyway. Everyone he loved was dead. He only had his honor and swordsmanship left. But the last happening of the dragonpit bothered him.

Once the queen and her brother were safely inside the room, the guards relaxed a little.

"Shouldn't we have done something when that woman yanked her Grace's brother and yelled at him?" the young knight asked. He was new to King's Landing and had only arrived to the capital just after Princess Myrcella's funeral but even a dimwit would know to see that the woman warrior's actions was a form of assault to the crown.

His brother-in-arms across him shrugged. He was a little past his prime, hence being also in the first line of defense, but his age meant he knew about the Red Keep more than the young knight. "That woman is Lady Brienne of Tarth. That out there wasn't really new with them."

"You mean fighting like an old married couple?" The young knight meant that as a joke of course. He knew very well the disgusting affair of the Queen and her brother. Besides, the warrior woman didn't have a fraction of the Queen's beauty. To put it kindly.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they secretly did," the older knight answered. It took a while for the younger to understand which couple he meant.

"You surely cannot mean... but the queen's brother... you and I... we heard them the other knight when they..." The younger knight was blushing now. His companion was chuckling.

"Boy, I've been here since Robert Baratheon's rule. I knew of Ser Jaime's dalliances and knew his expressions. I had to learn it to know how to approach him. But I also knew ever since he lost his hand and returned with that lady knight, he'd been different. He seemed like a new man. And those same looks he'd once watched the queen with, he looked at the Maid of Tarth that way. Just softer and kinder."

The younger knight snorted at that last word. Ser Jaime had never been kind to him. He made cutting japes about his failures if he ever noticed him.

"Laugh all you want. The queen has his body but the lady has his heart. Everyone lining in this hall knows it."

He heard murmurs of agreement among the guards. Before the young knight could say anything, a sound of approaching footsteps abruptly shut their mouths.

The steps were soft like a child's but sure like an adult's. They found the youngest Lannister approaching. He looked shaken and visibly scared but he still walked on like a man on a mission. The older Lannister brother went out of the room and was surprised to see his younger brother but then sobered up, seeming to know what he wanted.

"I tried talking to her," Ser Jaime told Tyrion Lannister. "Well, I was talking at her until she kicked me out."

The young knight knew the queen was stubborn and prideful and didn't take a slight well yet her twin still tried. Just as the lady, _the_ Lady Brienne, asked.

When the brothers parted, calling each other fools (and the young knight had to agree), the halls seem to be taking a breath. The door shut close and the older brother walked away. Once the footsteps faded, everyone seemed to release a breath.

"What did I tell you, boy?" the older knight said smugly.


	109. Christmas Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. It hasn't been 24 hrs since my last drabble but apparently being sick during the holidays served as an inspiration. xD

"Jaime, get the fuck away from me!" Her yell was muffled by both her stuffy nose and thick blanket wrapped around her entire body.

"Come on, Brienne! I need to get away from the dreary... yearly Lannister Christmas dinner." Jaime was pulling the covers off of her with one hand. Much to Brienne's annoyance, he succeeded, revealing a scowling red face and bright angry blue eyes.

"What does this have to do with kissing me?" she growled as snot dribbled down her red nose. She wiped it off with the tissue Jaime handed her.

"Because it's the only way to get the flu and have an excuse to not attend! It's in a few days and I have to be sure that the germs have time to take over my body," Jaime reasoned. Something was ringing over her head, making her even more irritated. She looked up at it and found a misletoe with a bell tied to it. She felt more than saw Jaime's smirk. "I even borrowed Tyrion's special misletoe because I know Christmas traditions are important to you."

Despite her being an unconventional woman, she does like her traditions, but this was _not_ one of them. Besides, she knew of Tyrion's special misletoe and it was not for couples who had the misfortune to be under it to _just_ _kiss_.

She also had a feeling Jaime's _borrow_ is different from the actual meaning. No way would Tyrion allow Jaime to find a way to skip out on Lannister dinner and be left alone with their sister and father.

Suddenly, Brienne had an idea to get what they both want. She opened her mouth as if to retort but then she coughed, droplets of spit sprayed into Jaime's face. Brienne fought a satisfied smile at his face slightly twisting in disgust and made her grimace stay.

"There! Now leave me alone!" She tried to cover herself with her blanket again but Jaime wrestled it off her.

"But droplets aren't thorough, Brienne," he lectured as if she were a child of five. "I need a kiss and not just a brief peck on the lips."

Jaime was looking so smug that she wanted to punch him, but, _gods_ , did he look so hot with his perfect jaw and perfect hair and that cute dimple. It wasn't that she didn't want to kiss him (she long stopped lying to herself. She _wanted_ Jaime) but he was her best friend and he was gorgeous and she was just...

_Fuck it._

As Brienne wiped the fresh snot from her nose, she told herself she was going to blame her flu for what she was about to do. She sat up and untangled herself from her blanket in record time.

Jaime didn't even have time to be surprised when she pressed her lips on his.

* * *

"Gods, wench-- _ACHOO_ \--if it didn't lead-- _ACHOO_ \-- to me finding out that you could kiss like-- _ACHOO_ \--that. I would've hated you so-- _ACHOO_ \--much right."  


"Don't be-- _ACHOO_ \--such a princess, Jaime. This was-- _ACHOO_ \--all part of your evil plan to skip-- _ACHOO_ \--out on dinner with-- _ACHOO_ \--your family."

"And to-- _sniffle_ \--finally kiss you. Hit two birds with one stone with that."

"Just shut up will you-- _sniffle_ \--and watch the movie or I call Tyrion to tell you where you are right now."

On Christmas day, in a modest apartment, the best-friends-now-couple snuggled happily under their blankets, watching a cheesy Christmas rom com they both secretly liked, while poor Tyrion was in Casterly Mansion with Aerys and Night King incarnate, wanting to curse the gods for his missing misletoe and now his missing brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jaime, you're gross. xD


	110. Blink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk abt this one, this came out of the blue xD

Due to his constant exposure to women's flirtations and his recent bitter realizations that Cersei's seductions were nothing but manipulation, Jaime seemed immune to the slightest feminine sway directed at him.

Yet when Brienne blinked at him with her big blue eyes, pale blonde lashes fluttering in a very _girlish_ way, Jaime found himself swearing to give her the moon and all its stars.


	111. Trash Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another quickie with little proofreading or editing. Hi Ruby-senpai! :3

Something squeezed Jaime’s chest as Euron Greyjoy planted a kiss on Cersei’s lips. She was playing the ever dutiful wife of her _second_ husband all too well (much better than when she had been with Robert), but he knew Cersei was merely doing this to spite Jaime for refusing to lessen Tyrion’s influence on the company which the three siblings had split duties during Tywin’s death. Though Jaime didn’t regret ending their toxic incestuous relationship, he still couldn’t help but feel the frustration of his desire for her. He’d been talking to a therapist and he did say Jaime was making progress…slow progress but still progress. He would have accused the therapist of taking advantage of his wealth but he knew it wasn’t easy to get over his past relationship.

As Jaime watched his sister make her way to the stage to announce whatever dumb project she’d come up with, he felt a hand covering his. He flinched at the sudden touch. He, then, swiveled his head to the left and found Brienne smiling worryingly.

Before the surprise at her initiated touch registered (Brienne never ever _ever_ touched him unless he was gravely injured), Brienne’s face quickly disappeared, his eyes seeing the side of her slicked back blond hair instead. He could feel her breath caress his ears and he, then, realized that she was whispering something.

“What?” he asked loudly.

Her other hand—it must have been her other hand because the hand still resting on top of his still hadn’t left—cupped his ear.

“I said, _have you seen Lysa Arryn’s dress today_?” Jaime pulled back, confused, then looked at Brienne in the eyes. Her face matched the color of the red carpeted floors. It took him one second, then two seconds, before laughing, dawning on him what she was trying to do.

“Wench, you are _horrible_ at trash talk,” he snickered. When they had formed a truce and become reluctant friends, Jaime was in the habit of sitting with her and making snide comments at the rich pompous men and women that are no doubt trying to lick his boots despite the fact that they all hate the Lannisters. Brienne had only been the one honest with him and she had done so with much politeness still calling him Mr. Lannister despite the vehemence in her tone. It hadn’t changed either when they became friends since she always grimaced at his crass descriptions of hairstyles or clothing or overall character of his intended target. She must have noticed his sullenness at the event and knew the cause of it. So she thought she’d start his favorite past time during these corporate shams. It was… sweet.

“Fine,” Brienne snapped, removing her hand from his. At the loss of her touch, Jaime fought back a whimper. She looked so flustered and scandalized at what she’d done. Jaime sighed and leaned closer.

“You’re right. Her dress looks awful. It looks like her boobs are about to spill. But no surprise there. Probably easier for her ten-year-old son to suck on her tits any time.”

“Jaime!” she shrieked, turning her redder and Jaime couldn’t help but laugh.

Once his laughter died down, he noticed Brienne sigh in relief. His chest felt squeezed once more but this one felt more comforting rather than the constricting feeling he had earlier. He briefly looked at her arm and back into her captivating blue eyes, tentatively placing his hand over hers this time. When she didn’t move away (though she looked like she would spontaneously combust), Jaime squeezed her hand a little tighter, not knowing how else to portray his gratitude. She smiled back, seeming to understand. Brienne understood him better these days. Without saying it, they knew they were best friends.

 _Maybe more_ , Jaime’s mind whispered.

 _But not now_ , he added. He was content just sitting next to Brienne, with their fingers entwined, grounding him and keeping him sane as Cersei made her presentation.


	112. The Ugly White-Haired Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complete crack and written on the spot just because of a photo of clingy cats I've seen.

Margaery hadn't visited Tommen in a while ever since she broke up with Joffrey. She felt bad because she was quite fond of the younger Lannister. It was nice to be around someone so innocent and genuine. She and Tommen bumped into one another and thought they should catch up. He seemed fond of her as well since the Lannisters hated her ever since the break up but Margaery knew Tommen didn't like Joffrey much either, so she was certain the boy didn't invited her over to his apartment to murder her.

But of course, Tommen isn't as fond of anyone as he is fond of cats.

Tommen owned at least a dozen more cats since she left but she was apprehensive with them even if a lot of them appeared to be kittens. Cats were really mean... perhaps except one cat.

She sought for a large cat with white fur until she spotted one in a basket just behind the couch. Margaery was certain it was her and approached. Brienne, a furry white haired cat, wasn't exactly a pretty cat. She a mashed nose and nibbled ear. Unlike most cats though, Brienne was a sweetheart. Well, she at least didn't try to scratch Margaery when you go near her. Instead she flinched and hissed at the sight of every human. Tommen had rescued her one rainy day and nursed the poor thing back to health.

Last she'd seen Brienne was when she was still recovering. Brienne still looked ugly but she appeared in a much better shape than before. In fact, she appeared to have gained a lot of weight.

"Hello, Brienne. Remember me?" Margaery cooed, stretching her hand out to stroke her fur when claws scratched her hand.

She almost felt betrayed at Brienne turning to a diva, when she saw a golden-haired cat in front of Brienne's basket, hissing vehemently at Margaery. She recognized him immediately as Jaime.

But...

She recalled that Jaime didn't like Brienne. The former seemed to hate all the attention Tommen was giving the latter. Margaery had been quite surprised at how Brienne became aggressive at Jaime despite the fact she was sickly.

"Tommen, do you have some medicine? Jaime just swiped at me."

Tommen sighed, peering in the living room from the kitchen. "You tried to touch Brienne, didn't you? He's very overprotective of her."

Margaery approached Tommen. "Didn't they hate each other?"

"Yeah. But they kinda saved each other from this raccoon that invaded the house and ever since then, they've been inseparable."

Margaery looked over her shoulder and briefly saw Brienne resting on her back and Jaime resting his head on her neck in such a clingy gesture. It was so cute. Jaime never liked anyone except Tommen.

"Jaime still approaches me," Tommen said as if reading her mind. "But whenever Brienne's pregnant, he only leaves her side to pee or get food."

Margaery gasped. " _Whenever_?!"

Tommen merely shrugged. "Brienne's in her third pregnancy at the moment. They contribute to most of the cats in the house."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the inspiration for the fic xD


	113. Wrap it Up!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you sense my stress with all these fic updates? xD
> 
> Unbeta'd and on the spot.

"Alright, everyone. That's a wrap for this scene." Tyrion, the director, ordered the crew behind the camera and they packed right away.

"Oh no, no, no. Not you two," his assistant, Bronn, raised his hand at the lead couple of the indie film. The leading man and the director's older brother, Jaime Lannister, and his leading lady, Brienne of Tarth, were already dressed in their fluffy white robes covering their naked bodies, surprisingly silent when earlier they had been at each other's throats. They were still blushing from the _incident_. Tyrion didn't wanna subject his brother or poor sweet Brienne to whatever Bronn was about to say (and Tyrion had a vague idea) but given the headache Tyrion suffered due to their constant bickering, they were going to have to deal with Bronn's harsh reality check. A Lannister collects its due just as he pays his debts.

"You two are going to fucking stay here and fucking talk it out!" Bronn lashed out, but the two leading blondes crossed their arms in a show of stubborn defiance. The assistant director was unfazed though. "Or better yet, you two _fuck_ it out because I wasn't sure if I was filming a sex scene or a sex tape."

They both opened their mouth as if to argue but Bronn cut them off.

"Oh please. Our pretty lead here had... _still_ _has_... a raging boner and you two screamed each other's actual names rather than your characters'. Fuck it out already so we can get over this sexual tension you two are having and we can all finally have some peace the rest of filming."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was an old prompt last year and it was supposed to be longer but I have little knowledge with filming, especially filming sex scenes. xD *flies away*


	114. Anon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be working on my flashfic Friday but I'm stuck so I wrote this instead. Also, I read your fics but don't have the time and energy to comment on them these days but I do read because I love yall. xoxo :3
> 
> unbeta'd and written quickly lol

Brienne snorted seeing Jaime Lannister, part time best friend, part time asshole, carried by her newly formed small army of angry female friends (but Jaime was her first best friend, he'd always insist on it) comprised of the physically capable Asha, Ellaria, Dacey, Arya, and surprisingly, Daenerys and Margaery, led by the sweet but secretly cunning Sansa. The girls dumped him before her at the door or her dorm. She wondered what he did to earn these girls' anger. But then again, these girls had been always finding a reason to murder Jaime. They all wondered what Brienne ever saw in him and despite Jaime being her friend the longest, the girls seem to swarm around her when they were together with Jaime, embarrassingly warning him over and over again not to break Brienne's heart as if she and Jaime were a couple.  _As if,_ she thought bitterly, then shoving down for the nth time, her non-platonic feelings for Jaime.

"Look who we found in the internet cafe, about to send you a tumblr anon," Sansa deadpanned.

Jaime scrambled to a kneeling position, his head bowing in shame. It took Brienne a while to understand what was going on.

" _You_ were the one sending me those stupid asks?" Brienne yelled.

It hurt more than it should. She learned not to take Jaime's jokes at heart because she knew he had always been honest with her. But those asks she got on tumblr were... sweet. Not blunt or playfully cruel. Not very Jaime at all. While she was suspicious of the motives of the notes (actually she was considering to get this anon investigated), the contents of the asks still sent a flutter through her heart anyway.

But when she told Jaime about the asks, all he did was tease her about her secret admirer and made fun of how disgustingly cheesy the contents are. Brienne had lightly slapped him and told him that they were good and he retorted that he would protect her in case it was a creepy stalker and she was in any danger.

But she was in no danger at all.

The culprit had been right under her nose all the time... quite literally at that.

"Wait, let me explain," Jaime pleaded, his eyes panicked and his cheeks actually blushing.

"Yes,  _please_ , explain why my  _best friend_ would send me those anons and make fun of them. You were supposed to be my  _friend_ , Jaime, but it turned out that you were just playing an even more elaborate game than Hyle and his asshole friends!"

At that, Jaime's expression changed from contrite to angry.

"Let me stop you there. You think I'm  _that_ kind of asshole? The reason I was sending you those asks because every  _fucking_ time I wanted to try to actually ask you out, at least one of your  _minions_..." At that, he gestured to Brienne's female friends. "...is with you, listing _every fucking reason_ I'm a shit person that doesn't deserve you and I know that but still doesn't stop me from feeling bad and discouraged and insecure. It's already nerve wracking to be with you alone."

Brienne looked to her friends who seemed to find random objects such as a hairbrush, tile patterns, and... the dog poop in the hallway.

"And for the record, before I was so  _rudely_ interrupted. I was about to tell you to meet me somewhere and even send you a photo of this custom shirt I had made to wear when we meet so you won't mistake me for anyone else."

"It's true," Margaery spoke up, holding up her phone screen showing a photo of the computer screen. "I took a photo in case we needed to sue him."

It was a photo of a lion swordhilt embedded with sapphires. She was a sword enthusiast and her tumblr name was sapphire-swords and the anon always referred to himself as her lion, which is also the symbol of Jaime's family. She would've probably suspected him if he didn't stop ranting about how he hated his father and his talk of the family legacy. She always thought she didn't like associating himself in any way with his family unless it was a last resort.

"Look, girls. I really appreciate your... worry but I told you over and over and  _over_ again. I trust Jaime. Now if you would all please leave so Jaime and I can talk."

Sansa looked like they were about to argue but Brienne shook her head. They all seemed resigned. It did not stop the girls from shooting Jaime one last deadly look with Arya, winning the most killer glare, despite being the smallest.


	115. Ritual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My very late Friday Flashfic.

The room was dark, save for the seven candles placed on silver human-length candle stands erected on each points of the encircled reverse seven-pointed star drawn on the floor. In the middle of it, Jaime and Brienne stood. Both held their chin high and defiant. Around them were figures of varying sizes, hidden in hooded bloodred cloaks. The smallest figure, about a little over four feet high, stepped into the star and held out a dagger. The two blondes looked to one another giving a serious nod before Brienne took the dagger in both her hands. Then a silver table was wheeled in and their earlier façade crumbled as they spotted the body on top of it. Jaime positioned himself behind Brienne and his hands slid over her arms and rested on her hands. It would’ve been intimate had they not been so tense.Together, they raised the dagger, plunging it in the body and red liquid oozed out of it.

To their credit, it took them five seconds before their hand trembled and the hold on their dagger trembled before dropping it.

To Tyrion’s credit, it took him the same number of seconds before laughing. The room was immediately flooded with light and everything became less ominous.

“Dammit Tyrion,” Jaime huffed. “I know this is all fake but by the gods, you still scared the Seven Hells out of us.”

“If I didn’t know that’s strawberry syrup,” Brienne said, scooping up the red syrup dripping down the flesh-colored human cake with her finger then licking it. “I probably would’ve bolted.”

The smaller man took down his hood, revealing his impish grin and twinkling mismatched eyes. “I know but what better way to commemorate your first year as a couple by reenacting the scene of the horror movie you two first met. You know. The summoning ritual scene that had you clinging to one another you scaredy cats.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tag Ruby_Eyes and sarcasm_for_free. My word is: Void (It was the first word I saw in my laptop XD)


	116. Nuzzler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [THIS VIDEO OF PARROTS ARE JUST SO CUTE I CANNOT.](https://youtu.be/EA_0jNnMUYw)
> 
>  
> 
> This video was shared in this [tumblr post](http://onwedmars.tumblr.com/post/170009306505/jaime-a-yellow-puffy-fluffy-parrot-bri-im) I saw on the jb tag so I credit that.

Brienne was picking at her fingernails nervously when something warm gently nudged her cheek. She immediately withdrew and looked down, finding Jaime Lannister grinning up crookedly at her. It wasn't his usual charming smile. This one seemed raw and genuine, making his eyes sparkle. His face looked flush.  _He must be drunk_ , Brienne thought.

"Briiiiiieeeeeenne," he slurred.  _Definitely drunk._

"J-" she stopped speaking when he started nipping at her neck. She could feel her skin turning the same temperature as Jaime's hot breath. "We're in public!"

Jaime did stop kissing her neck but he didn't detach himself from the body part. Instead, he rubbed his cheek against it.

"But I miiiiiiiissed yoouuuuuu," he said as his temple replaced his cheek.

Brienne looked down, hoping to be ignored by passerbys.

"Jaime, get away." She tried to push him off but he seemed to push back. "Aren't you supposed to be at your birthday party today?"  _With the woman you love_ , she didn't mention, swallowing down the bitterness her thoughts evoked.

"But I don't wanna be there," he whined. "Bad enough you declined my invite but I know where you are." Of course he'd know. They had both started the tradition after all. "I wanna be with the woman I love."

Brienne opened her mouth to reply to his startling confession but his affectionate nuzzling was not making her form a coherent thought.

"My Brienne," Jaime sang, rubbing the top of his head on her neck before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also have no idea the gender of the birds in the birds but sssshhhh let me remain blissfully ignorant and let me think it's JB. XD


	117. Sleepyhead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another [cute bird video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q6UXVX9HGg) that is linked to me and I couldn't resist writing another drabble. XD
> 
> Very, very quickly edited.

Brienne was done showering, making breakfast, and even doing a little cleaning, but she hadn’t seen Jaime’s face since she got left the room.

Entering the room, she found Jaime over the comforter and wrapping it around himself like a cocoon. He looked so adorable and cozy but his food was going to get cold and he did not like reheated food.

“Jaime,” Brienne cooed and he stirred a little. She got closer and leaned over.

“Wake up, Jaime,” she tried again, even showering his head and face with kisses but he refused to get up.

“Jaime,” she said more forcefully and this time, he did move, kicking off the comforter.

Only to bury himself under it again.

“Come on, Jaime,” she hissed. “I know it’s a Saturday but we had plans remember? Plans _you_ made, by the way.”

“Go away,” he groaned.

Brienne sighed. “I told you last night not to marathon Ice and Fire because you’ll be tired and harder to wake up but you kept begging me for one more episode until you watched the entire season. Now, I have to meet Tyrion and Sansa and take them shopping for baby stuff by myself.”

“You go do that,” he muttered almost incoherently and Brienne rolled her eyes.

“This was your idea in the first place,” she half yelled then she tried a softer tone again. “Come on, Jaime. Please.” She pressed kisses on his face but then he rolled over, his cheek sunk on the soft pillow while his back was facing up.

Furious, Brienne climbed on his back.

“Seven hells, woman!” _Serves you right._ In their relationship, Jaime was usually the affectionate one. Sometimes too affectionate, taking to groping her in public. But once Jaime was sleeping in, he did _not_ like being disturbed.

“Wake up, Jaime,” she begged, resorting to using a whiny tone that usually is on Jaime’s lips.

“No,” he moaned and Brienne huffed before raining kisses on his head.

“Please, Jaime. Would you pretty please get up?” She begged and kissed some more and Jaime seemed to be liking it.

“If that’s supposed to convince me to get out of bed, you are failing. It’s making this lazy lion feel even lazier.”

Brienne’s nostrils flared when she realized he wasn’t going to budge and he got up. Jaime winced at her knee digging more than a little painfully on his back.

…….

“Jaime, love,” he heard Brienne croon and he smiled seeing her blue eyes softly looking at him.

“Brienne…”

Her palm was on his cheek and he rubbed comfortably against it. Brienne’s face went closer and closer and Jaime couldn’t help but pucker his lips to brace for a kiss.

His eyes flew open with his lips still puckering.

The hand on his cheek was _not_ Brienne. He slightly looked up and saw a gaunt amused face with slicked back black hair.

“I’m flattered, pretty boy, but I only kiss women.”

Jaime spewed out curses when he realized he’d been nuzzling Bronn’s hand. Knowing the shadiness of Tyrion’s driver, who knew what his hands touched. Bronn laughed, along with more voices at the foot of his bed. There he found Sansa, Tyrion, and Brienne trying not to die from laughter.

“Hurry up and shower,” Brienne ordered, chuckles still bubbling up her throat. “Your reheated food should be ready by the time it’s done and I want no complaints about it.”

Brienne ushered everyone outside, still laughing. Jaime rubbed the sleep from his eyes that he didn’t notice Brienne coming back in the room until she kissed him on top of his head. When she was at the threshold, she briefly looked back. Her blue eyes sparkled brighter than dream Brienne’s eyes ever did and it gave him the push to get off the bed.


	118. The Buffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idek. Bye.

_"Hello Tyrion? Wanna switch rooms? I got a comfy bed."_

_"No fucking way, man."_

_"Seven fucking hells. Your brother is a thrice damned coward. Renting us this fancy house to_ work on our thesis _. As if he's not doing it to get in Brienne's pants. I can't hadle their sexual tension."_

_"Yes. Yes. It was quite obvious except for Brienne. Sorry but it's not my problem that he is chosen you and Pod as a buffer."_

_"I can't be in the same room with these idiots. Being locked with just Pod is better. Jaime apparently_ forgot _his blanket just so he can snuggle."_

_"So? Let him snuggle. At least he's--."_

_"Oh fucking fuck, man. I think they may have forgotten he was using Pod and I as buffers. I can hear moaning coming from their bed."_


	119. Gummy

In front of the self-proclaimed bearfucker, Jaime ripped off one-by-one the heads of the innocent gummy bears, hoping the gingershit will get the message that Jaime's _best friend_ is off limits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just cause I was eating gummy bears xD


	120. Justice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have gotten into an argument online again. XD R.I.P. New Year's Resolution

"Spare the Kingslayer."

The room erupted in a chorus of protests, spitting venom at the said man. Bran might have been one of these people once but he was no longer Bran and they didn't need that child and his bitterness at this moment.

"He pushed you," Sansa cried. "To hide his disgusting affair with his sister."

The Kingslayer didn't deny his crimes and despite his head held high like the proud lion he is, he never defended himself nor did he ask for any pardon. He seemed accepting of whatever harsh word or cruel fate that awaited him. The only time he showed a hint of sorrow was when his gaze met Lady Brienne's and the lady mirrored Jaime Lannister's expression.

Oddly enough they barely got a reaction from Bran. The rest of the North, however, triggered something Bran hadn't felt in a while.

"Were you the ones who got pushed off the tower?" Bran snapped and the court went silent. "I was tasked to decide on the fate of the Kingslayer and I deem the loss of his sword hand and most of his family justice for pushing me off a tower and crippling me."

His sisters made to speak in protest but he coldly glared at them.

"You all waste your time wanting blood and justice when the dead are marching upon us as we speak. If we all die because you disagree with the fate I gave the Kingslayer, the extinction of humans will be on all your hands."

The hall was deathly silent even Jaime Lannister looked shocked.

"Now," Bran coughed. "If nobody else wants to waste any more time, let us move on to more pressing matters."

Bran, then, turned to Jaime, who was still agape.

"Serve the realm well, Ser Jaime," the three-eyed raven said. "That shall be your retribution."


	121. The Wingman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it hasn't been 24 hours since my last one but this has been sitting in my laptop for a while.
> 
> Inspired by this meme:  
> 
> 
> Link to original post [HERE](https://web.facebook.com/NCWEmmy/photos/a.273743962765034.1073741834.272957046177059/1039097339563022/?type=3&theater)

Cersei kept telling herself that she was only doing this—walking through this smelly old bar and helping her pathetic twin brother out—because maybe their father would at least promote her to a higher position in the family company. She lost all hope in getting the topmost positions which both her brothers occupy. Their father thinks she’s too stupid, even thinking her current position was already him being too generous. _As if._ Their father was just an old fashioned misogynist and didn’t believe a woman could lead. But this could be Cersei’s last shot at a promotion at least. She certainly was _not_ doing this freely for their father’s favorite and also most disobedient son. Besides, Jaime had begged and pleaded that she was his last resort because apparently his only two friends and Tyrion were busy. Cersei quite enjoyed her brother’s groveling.

“Excuse me,” Cersei said, tapping a broad shoulder and the owner of said shoulder immediately turned around. Cersei tried her hardest not to grimace in disgust as soon as she saw the face. The blonde woman looked more like a man, maybe except for her eyes. They looked like a stupid gullible girl’s eyes. Maybe it wouldn’t be too hard.

“What?” the woman spat when she saw Cersei. She couldn’t believe that ugly excuse of the female specimen had the gall to scowl at her as if Cersei was the ugly one. But Cersei, thinking of the promotion, sucked it up and smiled.

“My brother thinks you’re hot,” Cersei vomited those words out. It suddenly occurred to her she had no idea how to be a wingman but she’d never surrounded herself with ugly people. Even that Imp, Tyrion, was charming. Although, likely it was his name, money, and position that’s charming. This should be easy.

“If your brother looks anything like you, this is probably all a joke,” the woman replied drily. As Cersei thought about how this beast of a woman should count herself lucky she got her brother’s attention, the beast was studying her. “Wait. You look familiar. Your brother is?”

Cersei pointed to a booth in a corner where Jaime sat.

To her utter mortification, Jaime was doing what she believed was a ‘smoulder’ and doing a ridiculous dance that Cersei was certain would make Tywin disown him due to public tomfoolery.

But she already tried using even worse means to kick him away from the top spot of Tywin’s favorite child and Tywin threatened that if Cersei _played tattletale like a preschooler_ on her brothers again, she will hold no position in the company. So maybe being in her twin’s good graces would be more favorable to her. Besides, Jaime was thirty-three, unwed, and very picky with women. Tywin had been urging him to marry so he can have grandchildren as heirs to the company, as if her Joffrey didn’t exist.

“You?!” the large woman yelled at her brother. Never had Cersei seen someone look at Jaime with such vehemence. Frustration and annoyance probably but not this deadly cutting glare. For the hundredth time today, she wondered why her brother would be interested in this… _cow_.

“I’m sorry. You two have met?” Cersei said, looking at her.

“He tried claiming ownership to a public parking space,” the woman hissed, not taking her glaring eyes off Jaime. “Even shoving money at me, saying he’s an important CEO of the company and he’s running late for something important. It doesn’t matter if he’s the president of Westeros _. I_ took that spot first and there’s no indication that spot is reserved for _him_.”

Cersei gritted her teeth. That should be _her_ throwing out her position if her father would give her what’s rightfully hers. Instead she had to settle with sleeping with gross douchebags, like her ex-husband, Robert.

“But don’t you think he’s cute at least?” Cersei tried. If father hadn’t pushed Jaime to marriage in the last decade, he should at least be pleased Cersei helped in convincing her brother, even if his chosen bride looked more like Frankenstein than his bride.

Cersei’s gaze turned back to Jaime and he’s still doing that stupid dance. _Is this the CEO of Casterly Inc. that you envisioned, father?_

“W-well…” Cersei turned back to the woman. Her face appeared darker and her pupils were taking over her blue eyes, conveying very familiar desire. Inwardly, Cersei rejoiced. _Promotion here I come._

But then the woman stormed away from her and headed outside, without even a goodbye. _Rude_.

Jaime, pathetically sad, followed the woman outside.

Cersei just sighed. She sat on the bar stool, her mind set on a strong Dornish wine brand that should get her hammered enough to forget that she’s saying goodbye to any chance of a promotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really missed writing non-incestuous but still bitchy Cersei.


	122. Lust VS Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lowkey salt fic XD Eh. Not my best really. *flies away*

“What are you doing still hanging about here, boy? Didn’t your lady knight dismiss you?”

Podrick didn’t look up, too focused on Lady Brienne and Lady Arya’s sparring session. He didn’t need to look up anyway to know who was talking to him. His instincts must have been better than before if he saw that hard pat at the back of his shoulders coming. Sadly, he still wasn’t warrior enough to know what to do about it.

“Yes, Ser Bronn,” Podrick wheezed, still not taking his eyes off of the women.

Bronn snorted at the sound of his title. “Why are you still here then? Thought you were her squire and didn’t want to fuck her?” Podrick’s cheeks burned at that.

“I still am and I still won’t,” Podrick snapped.

“Oh, has the she-wolf taken your fancy then?” Bronn teased.

“No!” the squire protested loudly than he should. Thankfully the women were undeterred.

“You’re right,” the sellsword agreed. “If she doesn’t kill you, her pretty blacksmith with the hammer could.”

Podrick thought that Lady Arya was far scarier than that blacksmith. “And I’m here because I want to take pointers by watching Lady Arya and Lady Brienne spar.”

The sellsword laughed at that and Podrick finally turned to him. “ _That_ doesn’t prepare you for the real thing, boy. Not even sparring like this would. You think you’re prepared but the next thing you know, the smell of piss and shit coming from your breeches and everyone else’s is fouling up the battlefield. Better just get some rest while you can.” Then Bronn looked down between his breeches, smirking. “Or make use of your magic cock.”

Blushing, Podrick closed his legs instinctively and Bronn merely just laughed.

“Seven Hells, Payne! You’re like a blushing maiden rather than someone who pleasured three whores so well that they gave your fucking money back.”

“I-it’s not that,” Podrick stammered, not sure how to explain his principles to someone who only enjoyed sleeping around. “I-I just don’t want to bed women and then part. I w-want a woman who l-loves me, t-too.”

Bronn was grinning mockingly. “Your mistress is rubbing off on you, ain’t she, Podrick?” Podrick glared as threateningly at the sellsword who just settled himself beside him. “Well, what’s stopping you? You’ve been in this castle far longer than I have. Are you telling me not one starry-eyed woman who wants some fucking knight in shining armor was interested in you, Podrick _fucking_ Payne, Hero of the Blackwater?”

Podrick shrugged. “I wouldn’t know how to tell the difference.”

“Ah, let me tell you the difference between love and lust, Podrick fucking Payne, and I think I found a great example” Bronn said gesturing to the other side of the courtyard. Podrick didn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed at the nickname because his attention was engrossed at the two men mostly intently watching the sparring.

“You see that red haired fellow?” Bronn asked. Podrick frowned at the man the sellsword was indicating. Lady Brienne didn’t speak about it but even Podrick could tell she was uncomfortable around that man. He had returned from the Wall, bringing grave news of it falling. Despite being heavily bandaged and walking with a limp, he still pursued Lady Brienne.

“I’ve seen that look in a whorehouse too often. And a lot in camp as well, especially after a hard battle and the soldiers just want to fuck. It’s nothing special. That’s lust.” Bronn gave a chuckle before adding, “It’s also the same look I see in the faces of starving kids eating for the first time in months.”

Podrick wasn’t sure if he liked lust being likened to starving but he didn’t say anything and let the sellsword continue.

“But if you look beside him, there’s Lord _Pretty_ Boy, but he’s more old than pretty now,” Bronn added with amusement.

“You-you said he wants to f-fuck her,” Podrick asked, confused. _He’d fuck her, that's for sure_ , had been his words when they met in Riverrun. Wasn’t that lust?

“Make no mistake, boy, he does, so _badly_. Probably even more than that gingerfucker wants to,” Bronn clarified and Podrick was a little horrified at the thought Ser Jaime would ever think of dishonoring Lady Brienne like that, but he always seemed to treat her with respect and Lady Brienne has not really said a bad word about him.

“But the difference between them is that Lord Lannister wants more than just a fuck. He looks at her when I see those soldiers who refuses whores and looks at a token his wife gave instead. Lord Lannister wants those unrealistic shit you hear in songs like Florian and Jonquil. He wants to be a _fucking_ chivalrous knight like her, _for_ her.”

Podrick was still a little confused and Bronn could tell.

“And if you’re anything like your lady, he understands that she wants that shit from the songs, too, from the man who will bed her. If Lord Jaime isn’t freezing his balls off, it’s probably dying from looking at her longingly, but he won’t do it because of some notion that he’s not that golden knight in songs. Holding back like that when both want each other so badly and nothing else is stopping them but themselves, that is not mere lust. I may have not known it for myself but I know that look and I’m fucking certain it’s what they call love.”


	123. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Craaaaaaaaack. Idefk xD

"Tormund!" Brienne wailed and the man on top of her, who had been pounding his cock into her, quickly got off from her.

"Shit. Are you okay?" the man asked with heavy concern.

"The handcuffs are in an awkward angle. My wrist feels like it's gonna break."

There was metal scraping and rattling over her head.

"Jaime?" Brienne said demurely.

"Mm. Yes, Brienne?"

"I'm no longer in the mood anymore. I think it was a mistake to use my stalker's name as the safe word. Can we change it?"

"Oh thank fuck, wench! I thought you'd never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I write this? XD *flies away like a unicorn*


	124. Grateful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just posted the installment of my other series but I felt like I had to make up for my weirdness back here. XD
> 
>  ~~Quickie~~ Fluff as promised. :P

"I wanted to die in the arms of the woman I love!" Jaime shouted.

"Well, I didn't  _want_ to have the man I love die in my arms again!" Brienne retorted just as loudly.

And on and on they went bickering as if the two hadn't been gravely injured and asleep for a few days due to it. Outside the room, Bronn and the Hound sighed, sharing a wineskin.

"You'd think both of them would just be fuckinggrateful that they're both fucking alive," the Hound grunted as he handed the skin to Bronn.

The sellsword took it and took a deep gulp before saying, "They think they're being fucking romantic dying for one another the fuckers. Lord Pretty Boy told me himself that he would do just that and his lady love? I suppose she shares the same sentiment."

Sandor took the wineskin from Bronn's hands and drank. He, then, glared at the door where the couple still argued. "Lannister would have fucking died had Tarth not been stubborn and insisted she take him back. Then, she was caught off guard while carrying him and they both would've died had we not come." Sandor took another swig from the skin and spat, "You'd think both these fucking idiots would at least be fucking grateful to us, but no, all they care about is _dying_ for one another."

Bronn chuckled, taking his turn from the wineskin. "They make great entertainment at least. Might as well enjoy it before they start fucking again."


	125. Rebel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if someone hasn't done this before. I feel like someone has but I forgot lol

The door groaned open, a few minutes Tywin was expecting it to. It was just like Jaime to delay. His son took a seat on the other side of the desk and Tywin made him wait a few minutes, checking his paperwork.

“Jaime,” Tywin finally said. “It’s past time you propose to your girl.”

Tywin finally caught his son’s obviously wandering attention. Jaime’s brows furrowed. “Propose? What do you mean? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Why to Miss Tarth, of course.”

“Brienne?” Jaime clarified and Tywin nodded curtly. “Father, Brienne and I are _friends_.”

Had Tywin been more like his sons, his eyes would roll. “Yes, I’m well aware of your friendship since you were what? Twelve? You two have been inseparable since.” Much to not only Tywin’s but also Selwyn’s headache. The fathers had been butting heads whenever those two got in some sort of trouble. Usually from Jaime running his mouth and the girl defending him. “I thought you’ve been dating her secretly since high school.”

Tywin was almost surprised at the way his son’s cheeks turned pink. “What? No! And if I were dating Brienne, I would show it to the world! Who wouldn’t show off Brienne? Men who date her in secret are stupid!”

Tywin sighed, showing relief. “Oh so you two aren’t—well, that’s a relief. Miss Tarth is hardly above our station and I’d rather you date someone—”

“ _Hardly above our station?!_ ” Jaime roared like the emblem of the family, standing up and knocking over the antique chair he’d been sitting on. Tywin merely winced at the possible damage of the antique chair but he remained mostly unperturbed of his son’s outburst (Nothing ever fazed him since Cersei obliterated a whole glass case of antiques with her wine goblet). Jaime, then, jabbed a finger in Tywin’s direction. “Don’t you fucking dare talk shit about Brienne, father. She is a better person than this whole family combined. _We’re_ the ones hardly above her station.”

Tywin only appeared bored as Jaime stomped his way to the door.

“Well, _fuck you_ , father,” Jaime spat, as he grabbed a door handle. “I will _court_ , Brienne, I will _date_ her, then I will ask her to marry me and we’ll have seven to ten kids and call ourselves the _Braime Bunch_ and we’ll be like a family sitcom and _you’ll_ have to _fucking_ deal with it!”

Jaime yanked the door open and slammed it behind him loudly. A few seconds after, the door creaked open and a small man waddled inside. He gently closed the door while Tywin was busy studying the paperwork in his desk.

“Father, I may have overheard everything outside. Did you just—”

Tywin silenced his younger son with a cold stare.

“Tyrion, I’ve been patient with him, letting him have the initiative to ask Miss Tarth out in his own time but he’s nearing his thirties and _nothing_ has happened between them yet so I simply gave him the necessary push.”

And Tywin did the most uncharacteristic thing of all, he smiled. Jaime had been rebelling against him since he was born and for once, he actually prevailed, using that very nature of his eldest son.

“Now,” Tywin began, putting down his paper work to speak with his younger son. “I actually do like your prospective matches. Very advantageous for business, indeed. But you simply cannot marry Sansa Stark, Daenerys Targaryen, and Margaery Tyrell, at the same time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I can't decide who to ship Tyrion with in this fic and Tysha didn't seem a fit for this.


	126. Crop Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration [here](https://web.facebook.com/NCWEmmy/photos/a.319269524879144.1073741836.272957046177059/1051851354954287/?type=3&theater) (Warning. Fan yourselves for hot Nik photo XD)

“Brienne,” Jaime whined drunkenly. “Why don’t you want me?”

He was nuzzling his nose against her neck, lightly nipping her throat. Brienne, equally inebriated, ran her hands over his muscled chest. At first, it was gentle, but her alcohol-muddled brain was beginning to bear a grudge against the material getting between the hot touch of their skins.

“I only date a man…” she gasped when he licked on a spot on her neck she didn’t know was sensitive. “…who can rock a crop top.” She roughly kneaded his torso, wanting his stupid shirt out of the way. Jaime seemed to understand what she wanted because he sluggishly reached for the hem of his shirt, pushing the material up to his collarbones. He stopped his assault on her neck to look at her in her astonishing sapphire eyes.

“How ‘bout now?” he slurred.

Without breaking their gaze, Brienne slowly and sensually slid her palms over his abs, then his bulging chest, until her fingertips arrived to where his shirt was pushed up. Her hands grasped tightly on the bunched material.

They looked at each other for only a second before Brienne used the bundled shirt to pull him in for a searing, drunk kiss.


	127. Reputation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a stanza from Taylor Swift's "Delicate".

Jaime knew he should’ve fought harder to stay away from Brienne. Pure and innocent Brienne. Brienne the Blue. The Child of the Maiden and the Warrior. Champion of the Wolves.

What was he?

Kingslayer, Oathbreaker, Sisterfucker.

And now, Childkiller (even though Bran hadn’t really died, Edmure Tully’s baby never even went near a trebuchet, and Cersei’s miscarriage was entirely out of his control).

Despite how he left all to aid in a war that would determine the fate of humanity, a war that transcended beyond the petty rivalries of family and houses and politics, spring returned with his sullied name. He never thought it would get dirtier but it did.

He should have stopped before Brienne’s barely specked honor would be muddied by him. So she could remain as clean as when he first got his Kingsguard cloak.

But her honest blue eyes, showing a myriad of emotions, beckoned him closer and closer. The sapphire irises were like the wild oceans of the Stormlands, its strong waves washing away the dirt that clung to him, truly seeing him in his naked state. He was not perfect. He was scarred and some stains refused to be washed but he was also vulnerable and she embraced that.

Most importantly, she wants him.

* * *

* * *

__

_This ain’t for the best._

__

__

_My reputation’s never been worse so_

__

__

_You must like me for me_

__

__

_(Yeah, I want you.)_


	128. Couple Merch

"Happy Anniversary, Brienne!"

"Are these...replicas of the ancient twin swords of Ser Goldenhand and Lady Blueknight?"

"Aye, _wench_! One for each of us. I had it commissioned to the best. Tobho Mott."

"Of all the medieval words you have to learn for this... but this really is beautiful, Jaime. I thought you were going to get us couple shirts or something."

"Uhm..."

"What are you... is that a scabbard attached to your belt?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matching swords may be less obvious about your love for each other but it's just as eye catching. XD
> 
> P.S. I wasn't really sure about using commissioned but did I use it right? I was confused about its usage.


	129. Bran the Buffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *interacts with cute guy with a beard (that I'll never see again) for 5 seconds*  
> Me: I should write fic about that!

Brienne didn’t really need to watch the two-year-old Arya that much. The kid was within Catelyn’s line of sight and often quickly glanced at her. But Galladon, Brienne’s kid-at-heart younger brother, was speaking alien with Cersei’s eldest child, Joffrey, about a DJ or whatever but they seemed to understand each other despite the huge age difference, and the four-month-old Bran was with Genna, Cersei’s aunt, seated on a couch across Brienne.

Oh, Brienne wouldn’t admit it to herself but the reason why she’s  _protecting_  a scared but proud Arya from the little claws of the playful kitten Ser Pounce was so that she could find a way to distract herself from the man seated next to Genna.

When Brienne agreed to accompany Catelyn and three of her kids to the Baratheon’s, she had not expected to be distracted by Cersei Baratheon’s twin brother. She’d never really cared about beautiful people in magazines but Jaime Lannister had much more appeal in real life compared to glossy printed pages. He was deep in conversation with his aunt and Brienne found it very hard to concentrate on Arya every single time Brienne heard his voice.

Arya garbled nonsense as the kitten began chasing her. The girl clawed at the leather sofa and Brienne effortlessly picked up the tiny girl to keep her out of reach from the kitten. Once the kitten was gone, Arya wriggled from Brienne’s grasp and Brienne put her down. Arya took off after the cat once more and Brienne shook her head fondly, knowing how brave the kid always pretended to be, only to end up running away from the cat once more. Ser Pounce was out of sight, this time though, so Arya was running to the porch where her nine-year-old brother, Robb, sat on the porch swing. Robb helped up his struggling sister into the wide swing.

Suddenly, Brienne was left without a distraction.

Without thinking much, Brienne got up and made her way to the couch across hers. There was an empty space next to Aunt Genna as she cooed on little Bran who seemed unamused at her. It was no surprise though, Bran wasn’t a baby easily amused.

Coincidentally, as Brienne took a seat, Aunt Genna stopped babbling gibberish at the baby.

“Jaime, do you want to hold the baby?” It was a demand rather than a question, punctuated by her near shoving the baby on his lap, and getting up from her seat as quick as a woman her age could. Brienne was left with Jaime and a Bran on his lap.

Unlike his loud jovial voice earlier when speaking to his aunt, his voice was softer but of a higher pitch. Brienne was certain they were noises that held no meaning at all, hoping to entertain the baby. She was trying so hard not to stare at him too long and shoving the face that they only have air that could fit a person between them and put her focus on Bran, but gods, that beard was just beckoning her. It was practically  _begging_  to be touched.

Jaime was bouncing his legs to make the baby smile but it didn't work. With only wobbling lips as a warning, Bran cried. All activities ceased for a moment and they turned their attention to the wailing child.

“I’ll take him,” Brienne found herself speaking. She briefly curled her hands into fists to stop them from shaking before reaching them across that air that had served as a buffer between them earlier. Now, Brienne crossed that border so she could get a better grip baby Bran.

When she took hold of the baby, their fingers briefly brushed. The whole time, Brienne couldn’t even look at him but she could’ve sworn there was a jolt there. She hugged the still crying baby to her chest.

Brienne should’ve just gotten up quickly and handed her to Catelyn but she simply couldn’t resist. She looked at Jaime and was shocked at finding him staring back at her with wide eyes. She couldn’t decipher the expression he wore because it quickly changed to panic which probably reflected how Brienne felt being caught staring at him.

Even with the baby screaming in her ear, she could hear Genna loud and clear.

“Jaime, my boy, I love you, but you are horrendous with women you’re very clearly interested in, even with the baby’s and my help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You, ladies, are giving me a beard fetish XD


	130. Family

Jaime had always been a family man. His twisted affection for Cersei was the biggest proof of that. The way he cared for Tyrion when nobody else would was another of his greatest feats. In his own way, he cared for Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen, as well, when Cersei didn’t want to him to grow close to them. Even Jaime cared for their father, despite his rebelliousness to the Lannister patriarch. Tyrion knew. He saw his burning anger when they met for the first time since he put a quarrel through Tywin’s bowels. But Tyrion also saw relief and even joy in his big brother’s eyes when he found him alive and well. Unfortunately, if the rumors he’s heard about her using wildfire to blow up a sept and driving their last child to leap off a tower were true (he's sure it was), Jaime still followed their Mad sister like a puppy.

Jaime was that dedicated to his family. Tyrion would even say he was more dedicated to his family far more than the self-proclaimed perfect mother, Cersei. He loved them so much that they’ve all chipped him of every piece of him until there was little of Jaime left. Tyrion always thought it was only Cersei who had done it but all the Lannisters contributed to carving Jaime a different image without him having much say about it.

But in the middle of winter, in the middle of a war that was far more perilous than any their like had ever seen, Tyrion had never seen his brother smile brighter than when he clasped his hand around his bride’s. Lady Brienne was no looker but Jaime looked at her like she had come to end this dreadful winter and bring forth spring.

Perhaps she did.

Jaime had been a frozen dying wasteland for many, many years, but Lady Brienne, the family he chose for himself, gave him a new life. Tyrion hoped they’d survive all this. He wished to see his brother finally get the family he deserved. The kind of family that deserved his devotion. The family who could make him into the better man than the whispers made him out to be. The family who could give it back all the love he’d given them in equal measure.


	131. A Gift from the Easter Bunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I was dry but hey, CRACKFIC!!!!
> 
> Totally written on the spot and I haven't posted stuff in 10 days so I don't know how to write hahaha

_Have a great Easter, Brienne!_

_Love,_

_~~Tyrion~~ the Easter Bunny_

Usually, Jaime was the one who gives her the biggest and most ridiculous presents but she was genuinely surprised when Jaime's little brother and their driver, Bronn, wheeled in the biggest bluest Easter egg into her home. The thing was laid on its side and was so wide it nearly didn't fit her door.

She checked the card again to see if Jaime's name hadn't replaced Tyrion's but it indeed was Tyrion's name being crossed out. It was the Lannister sense of humor, she knew. While Tyrion was pleasant to converse with (sometimes even more pleasant than Jaime), she didn't think she mattered that much to him to give her such a big present... on Easter nonetheless. Due to her shock, all she could stammer was a choked 'thank you' before they left.

She wheeled the egg to her living room when she felt the egg stir.

"What the actual fuck?"

Brienne froze at the voice... coming from the egg.

"Tyrion! Is this getting back at me for last year's April fools joke?"

Snapping out of her surprise, Brienne quickly sought out for where to open the egg. She found a handle somewhere at the back and lifted it. Sure enough, the person in the egg matched the voice she was so very familiar with.

"Jaime?" she blurted out, seeing him bundled in a thick blue blanket.

"Brienne? What am I... _where is Tyrion!_? Gods, I'm gonna  _kill_ him."

Jaime reached his hands up and Brienne grasped him to help pull him up. She ignored how pleasantly warm his hands felt. The blanket fell away from his torso and it was too late for either of them to realize his current predicament.

"Oh gods!" Brienne shrieked, almost letting him go, but she opted to close her eyes instead. Not without glimpsing the trail of hair that ran from his navel and  _lower._

"Seven fucking hells!  _Tyrion!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Easter and April Fools :D


	132. Spilling Crimson

With much effort, Brienne carries a languid Jaime, crimson spilling over her arms.

"Brienne..." he croaks. "Don't leave me."

"I very well should have!" she snapped."You drunk call me at 3 in the morning, made me think you'd _died_ on me and when I head to the bar I'm sure you're in, I find you sprawling on the floor, wearing--for reasons I am not entirely sure I want to know--this silky and flowy red gown!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby sent me a photoshop of Brienne carrying Jaime and Jaime is wearing a red gown(?). I'll link the photo when I can xD


	133. Charming the In-Laws

In the most expensive five star restaurant of Westeros, an ensemble of four blondes had drawn the attention of its many rich fancy customers. Mostly because throughout the night, two had been giggling like children while the other two looked like they wanted to murder somebody… particularly their more boisterous companions.

“Do you think we’re getting out of _hand_ , Jaime?” Selwyn asked with a grin.

“Most definitely _not_ , Selwyn. We should be getting a round of applause, especially because I’ll be needing a…” Jaime raised his right arm and popped off his prosthetic. “… _hand._ ”

Another round of snickers came from the two smiling gentlemen while the two dour ones were still glaring at them. Jaime and Selwyn were noticing their sour mood but it only seemed to fuel their glee.

“Oh Brienne, my little star,” Selwyn Tarth cooed at his daughter. “Lighten up! You know we both _glove_ you.”

“Even with one hand I’m quite s- _mitten_ with you, my sweetling,” Jaime added.

Selwyn let out a loud guffaw and slapped Jaime Lannister’s back in a friendly gesture… even though his hand was strong and Jaime wanted to cough from the older man’s strength.

“I gotta _hand_ it to you, Jaime. You’re a mighty good conversationalist,” Selwyn remarked.

“I’ve been known to _hand_ -le conversations pretty well,” Jaime retorted with an easy grin, but his heart wanted to explode out of his chest from his nerves. Jaime was afraid that his puns would probably make the initially stern Selwyn Tarth hate him but the older man had surprise Jaime with a big booming laugh and a pun at par with his. Neither men were sure how long they’ve been at it with the hand puns.

“Really, Selwyn. Being in the corporate world taught me to really hone my charm and conversational skills. On the other hand…” Jaime trailed off, his gaze suddenly far away. After a long period of silence, Selwyn was suddenly worried.

“What?”

Jaime seemed to snap from his thoughts and looked directly into the man’s eye with much seriousness.

“Oh, sorry,” Jaime said, then he raised his stump in the air. “I don’t have my other hand.”

It was fortunate that Selwyn wasn’t eating or drinking anything, else he would’ve spat it all over the table.

As the two men were laughing at their own jokes, Brienne and Tywin huffed and sipped on their red wine at the same time. The soft sound of their glasses set on the table were a little off time but the near synchrony still drew Tywin’s notice.

“You don’t think their jokes are funny?” he asked his future gooddaughter.

“They’re terrible,” Brienne replied bluntly, although in reality, she was shaking inside.

Tywin raised a brow at that. “You’re a no nonsense person, are you Miss Tarth?”

“Everyone, even myself, believes so. Only Jaime seems to think I’m funny.”

“A mark of a man in love?”

“Perhaps. If your son thinks bluntness is appealing.”

The last time Tywin Lannister was heard _allegedly_ laughing was when his late wife was still alive and that had been when Jaime was eight. But at that moment, Tywin Lannister’s lips curled into something that resembled a smile.

Despite being near red from laughing, Jaime had been subtly observing his father and fiancée’s interactions and was able to catch that brief show of affection from his father. Under different circumstances, Jaime might have thought it was the end of the world but he knew it was a sign that Tywin approved of his fiancée. And an approving Tywin meant a non-meddling Tywin.

As Jaime’s laughter died down, Brienne’s gaze met Jaime’s and she smiled at him. Selwyn’s talks of ‘not even a Lannister is worthy for his precious angel’ and threats of ‘sending out Faceless men to murder him if he so much split a hair from his baby girl’s head’ all melted away from the Jaime’s nauseating groan-worthy puns. Her father was under his charming spell.

The couple shared a little sigh of relief. They didn’t have to worry at all. Jaime and Brienne had their respective in-laws’ hearts (even Tywin’s practically nonexistent one) right in the palm of their hands… and hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because in my modern headcanon Jaime and Selwyn would get along and so would Tywin and Brienne.
> 
> Shoutout to Ruby for helping me with these cringe puns XD


	134. Pushing the Boundaries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashfic Friday: "Anything for a Blush"  
> Tagged by Julie
> 
> Sorry it's late. I didn't have internet much so I didn't see it right away.

Jaime made it a sport to make Brienne blush. Mostly, he’d used words to trigger various shades of pink and red blotching her face. As a bonus, she’d end up stuttering, much to his amusement.

He had only meant to push the boundaries a little bit, straying away from his usual verbal tactics. He had only meant to be an inch near her face and watch closely as it exploded into the familiar crimson hues that he loved so much.

He hadn’t expected for the tables to turn on him. He hadn’t expected her sapphire-colored eyes to stun him. He hadn’t expected to be the one _blushing_ when he saw a very good look on those eyes that were already astonishing from afar.

They both most certainly weren’t expecting the kiss that came after.

And the next one.

And the next one.

And so on.


	135. According to his Heart

Brienne believed herself to be a filler; that she plugged up the hole Cersei left in Jaime’s heart.

But his heart disagreed. Brienne was the missing piece that finally completed him.


	136. In the Arms of the Woman I Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I've written something similar or this plot bunny was in my head for so long that I thought I'd written a fic about it XD
> 
> I'm sorry not sorry? :P

_No no no._

Jaime didn’t want to die like this. When he’d joined the Kingsguard, he had expected that he’d die with a sword in his hand and a sword buried through his gut, like most warriors did. But when the woman you loved was a warrior as well, the manner of death he wanted was now possible.

But Brienne had been out of his sight quickly once the battle begun and all he could think about was survival. Until a blade struck him and blood as red as his House color spilled into the white snow. All he wanted to do was find Brienne.

But he grew weaker and weaker with every step. His vision slowly darkened as he felt his strength leave him.

The clashing of rotting wights and unfamiliar soldiers and harsh winter was the last thing he saw before everything turned to black.

…….

Jaime wanted to take it all back.

Dying in the arms of the woman he loves was a terrible. All you could see was sorrow pouring from Brienne’s beautiful blue eyes and he didn’t like that it was going to be the last thing he saw before he died. He wanted to tell her to smile. Perhaps make a jape that she will finally have some peace and quiet without him though the only thing he could do was breathe quickly and shallowly. Apparently, dying was the one thing that could actually shut him up. _Just after kissing_ , he added with amusement.

But then he felt one of her large hands clutch at his stump. Her hands had never been smooth like most highborn ladies. They were roughened by callouses from swordplay and the harsh living of her travels, but later on, a new texture added to its touch.

Jaime found comfort at the feel of Brienne’s wrinkles. He had been so certain that he would die in the Long Night, cold and alone, before rising as another soldier for their foes. But by the gods he’d been granted a life, a pardon, and wife and children he was free to love for many, many years.

With that thought, he found himself content and ready for the Stranger. Seeing Brienne in pain of losing him was perhaps a small price to pay for the long blissful life they had together.


	137. Did You Know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after the Dragonpit, just before Tyrion goes to Cersei.

Jaime wisely kept shut as Cersei went through the usual tirade about her enemies, venomously spitting the things she loathed about them and no reasonable suggestion as to how to prevent the future dangers that awaited them when she’d refused to aid them.

“And that Stark whore’s a craven, sending her pet in her stead.”

At that, Jaime was suddenly attentive. He could think of no other person to be referred as that. Cersei snorted without noticing his change of demeanor, then took a swig from her wine. “That beast is besotted with you. She never said she did but I could see it in her large cow eyes.” _Astonishingly blue_ , Jaime’s mind supplied. “Did you know that she loves you?”

Somehow, Jaime knew in his heart the answer to that question.

Yet that desire he’d kept tucked safely away longed to hear it from the lips of the woman herself.


	138. Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the 100,00th Posts Celebration. I got #6 "How could you do this to me?". I wanted it to be funny but I kinda lost my steam so I have this instead. idk lol

“How could you do this to me?” the wench hissed, her eyes cutting like shards of blue glass.

“What can you expect from the Kingslayer but dishonor, wench? It’s nothing personal,” the Kingslayer replied with an equally sharp grin.

.......

“What are you doing, Mr. Lannister?” Ms. Tarth muttered, her sapphire eyes narrowed into cautious slits.

“Offering a truce, Ms. Tarth,” Mr. Lannister replied with a small but genuine smile.

.......

“Why are you doing this, Jaime?” Brienne whispered, her ocean eyes tearing up with joy and hope and fear and doubt.

“Because I love you, Brienne,” Jaime replied with big hopeful grin.


	139. Slide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I was feeling up for childhood!JB.

Little Jaime could hear all the cheers from his fellow kids at the end of the slide. His mom was also cheering along with them. Jaime was a lion and lions are brave, but one look at the steep slope and he felt like a kitten. Behind him, he could hear a huff.

"Are you scared? I wanna go down."

He turned around and found a not-very-pretty scowling girl wearing a blue dress. The dress looked stupid on her but the color looked as pretty as her blue eyes. Still, he frowned at her.

"No, I'm not!" he protested.

"Well, why don't you go down so it's going to be my turn?" she shot back.

Jaime huffed at that and positioned himself to ready to slide but his whole body turned rigid once he saw the slide once more. Suddenly, someone sat beside him and held his hand. He briefly turned to the person and found not-very-pretty-except-her-eyes scowling girl with her face turning as red as the fluffy floors in his house.

"Come on!" she ordered and the two conquered the slide hand-in-hand.

Years later, when the two reunite as mature adults, in-laws Selywn and Joanna would regale the family with how smitten young Jaime already had been with Brienne after that slide and how he'd followed her around the playground, insisting to hold her hand as they rode every playground equipment with bright green eyes and a huge grin on his face.


	140. Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to finish my angst with happy ending one shot but I got distracted because of a witty gif reply to an oldish meme. XD  
> I did this on the spot and barely edited, as usual. XD

Jaime and Brienne had planned this for months now. Although it's been nearly two years since both their previous relationships ended (Hyle dumped Brienne because he  _didn't think they would work out at all_ meaning he couldn't stand her face while Jaime broke things off with Cersei when he found out she'd been cheating on him) and they'd spent their last Valentine's Day brooding, they decided that this year, they were going to stop moping over their shitty exes and be proud of their single-blessedness.

They both agreed to mock the day of discount chocolates with a statement shirt Jaime found in the internet about nobody having a crush on them.

Not that nobody had a crush on Jaime—more than half of Westeros probably have him in their sexual fantasies—but he insisted that best friends were in this together. So she humored him. Anyway, it was nice to do something with Jaime even if...

 _No_. She wasn't going to think about the fact that she was part of _that_ population of Westeros.

Then the ring of her doorbell pulled her from her thoughts. Most likely, it was Jaime. She opened the door and sure enough, she found him there, smiling... nervously. Jaime never smiled at her nervously. His smile was either teasing or charming or genuine. (She almost said desire but she'd categorized that as teasing.)

Brienne opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when she noticed that there was something wrong with his shirt. It was  _not_ the shirt they agreed on. She was about to accuse him of mocking her and then slamming the door on his face and crying at Jaime playing her for a fool. But then she remembered the statement on her own shirt:

**_No one has a crush on me. I'm too strong to be crushed._ **

Then looked back at his:

**_I'm strong enough._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meme [here](http://weirddreamergirl.tumblr.com/post/173475074500)


	141. His Litter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed some cleansing after that last fic and apparently a lot liked my Cat!JB fic and I was so amused by [THIS CAT VIDEO](https://web.facebook.com/groups/478699958869579?view=permalink&id=2055646364508256&_rdc=2&_rdr) so I wrote this. This is basically a prequel to "The Ugly White-Haired Cat" on chapter 112.

The round-faced human held up his shiny rectangle device, hiding his whole face except the meager yellow fur curling at the sides of his head. If Jaime didn’t love his human slave, he would have scratched that from his hand. Also, he had a family now, and this easy-to-enslave human will keep them fed. He cared a lot about his mate and their seven little kittens.

Jaime reached out his paw to stroke one of his little ones but he was restless and swatted his paw away. _That one took after me_.

“Jaime,” his human called out.

He replied, even though the boy didn’t understand him. Just as well, Jaime was calling him quite nasty words for being too close to his family. Still, the human kept talking. Jaime just let his slave be because the active one was wriggling once again. It turned out he was fighting with his sister. He pawed at him to stop or else they’ll wake up their mother. Brienne was just on the other side of the soft sleeping ground the human provided for them. She protected the kittens in one side while Jaime protect the other but she was close enough to rest her furry cheek against his (he wanted to lick her closed eyes) and drape her white-furred foreleg over his body.

Then the little whelps were being restless again. This time, the brother was joined by the rest of his siblings in his squirming. They were pushing at their mother’s belly. He leaned over to settle them all of them down with his one whole foreleg. His movement caused his mate to move her head and paw to his neck. Luckily, the kittens had settled down. Unluckily, his Brienne was pushing down his neck.

The human still kept talking, unaware of the pain Jaime was suffering at his uncomfortable position and large mate. He pulled his head back to be more comfortable. Brienne immediately got out of the way and then nuzzled his cheek. Jaime hated troubling his sleeping Brienne so he placed his foreleg protectively around her.

Jaime made a sound at the human. _What are you looking at?_ Why didn’t he just leave and take that _thing_ he was pointing at them with him.

“I won’t hurt Brienne or your kids,” his human pleaded. “Just please let me film the little ones closer?”

The human seems to want to point his rectangle device closer to them. Jaime meowed his approval, only because he knew his human would never hurt them. The slave seemed to understand it and approached further.

Jaime watched the human warily, warning him that he was getting too close. The human backed away a little before slowly pointing his device at the little ones. No doubt his Brienne was strong and fierce. He’d experienced it firsthand. The blue of her eyes encasing the dark menacing slit alone burned him when he had meowed his contempt when they first met. His human had paid attention to her more than him and he had hated it. But she fought him aggressively despite being weak. And when they had protected their human lair against that intruder, they’d fought well together. That was the point that Jaime knew. She was larger than him though so her scruff had been difficult to grab. Still, he had conquered her and it resulted to the birth of their seven strong kittens. However, she needed her rest so it was currently his job to protect her and their little ones, even from his human slave and his weird device if it came down to it.

After glaring at the intruders for a long time, Jaime concluded that they were harmless to his family. Finally, they backed away, even if the human was still holding up that shiny rectangle.

The runts were becoming restless again. _You’re disturbing your mother_ , he wanted to tell them, but he opted to paw at them instead. Kittens these days don’t listen to the older cats anymore!

Above him, his human was making happy noises and slamming his thumbs on his rectangle.

“SerPounce7 is proud to present the first video for the Braime Bunch series. You, Brienne and the kittens are so going to be the next internet hit, Jaime!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not convinced of cat!JB:
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Can the photo even be seen?~~


	142. Calls for Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil book canon for ya'll :D

"Son, help your family. Help the Lannister legacy!" Tywin commanded.

"Brother, protect me. Help your poor mistreated little brother!" Tyrion begged.

"Jaime, I love you. I love you. I love you. Come save me. Help me. Fight for me!" Cersei cried.

Those three voices screamed and screamed at him until he wanted to tear his own ears off.

"Ser, Lady Sansa is in trouble. You can help but you need to come alone."

Brienne's voice was a whisper. It was small, hesitant, and obviously a lie. Surprisingly, the pleas of his own scheming family were desperate yet true unlike the Maid of Tarth's fabricated tale.

Still, it was Brienne's call Jaime answered.


	143. Final Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally unbeta'd and quickly written.  
> I'm sorry?

Not even tears would save Bronn at this point. Queen Cersei's brother, the last hold to her sanity, was gone. There would be no reasoning with her. He could tell her endless lies. bout that pretty fucker's whereabouts but every empty lead would prolong his torture.

Bronn was done. No castle was worth this pain.

The lion queen faced him--her face of pale porcelain, her red blood lips twisted into a terrible smirk, and her eyes of glowing wildfire that consumed his very being.

That was it. Bronn could tell from her eyes that this was the end.

Still, he wouldn't go down without a final blow, useless it may be.

"You can bet your crazy ass that wherever your brother is, he's fucking the Lady of Tarth."


	144. The Glow

Tyrion always knew when his brother fucked and it was pretty obvious since Jaime rarely did so. In fact, if it weren't for Tyrion's intervention, his handsome older brother would probably remain a virgin until he would meet his "soulmate".

But his after sex glow was shining. And while Tyrion knew fucking put Jaime in a good mood, his usually sour brother was exceedingly cheerful.

He was about to ask what was going on when Ms. Tarth, his brother's former project partner and bane of Jaime's existence walked past them, limping. Tyrion did not miss the wink his brother gave her or the blush that overtook Brienne's face.

Nor will Tyrion ever stop seeing all these changes lest they evolve to something more.


	145. The Scroll

_**Lady Cersei of House Lannister** ,_

_You are cordially invited to the joining of Houses Lannister and Tarth through the marriage of Ser Jaime Lannister and Lady Brienne Tarth._

_May the Seven smile upon you always._

_In behalf of the North,_   
**_Lord Tyrion Lannister_ **

_Hand to Queen Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen_   
_First of Her Name_   
_Queen of the Andals, the Rhyonar, the First Men_   
_Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea_   
_The Unburnt_   
_The Breaker of Chains_   
_THe Mother of Dragons_   
_Rightful Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read my recent 3+k fic titled "Chance", this is what I would imagine Tyrion sending Cersei if JB married. XD Half the scroll is Dany's titles just to piss Cersei off. XD
> 
> Also, I am planning to reach 200 drabbles before my second year anniversary of my drabble collection. So since I don't have constant internet, I might have more than one per day to compensate for it. :D


	146. Kingslayer in Chains

Jaime jolted awake. The first thing he noticed was a pair of blue eyes watching him with worry. He sighed in relief when he realized it was only Brienne. He wanted to give her a hug but he struggled to open his arms.

_Oh right._

"Jaime, who chained you?” she asked, her expression twisting in fury. “I couldn’t even get your golden hand out to pull off the shackle around your right arm. I tried to find if the perpetrator dropped a key but no such luck. So I thought to wake you before I use Oathkeeper to slice the chains."

She straightened her back and showed Oathkeeper. It suddenly occurred to Jaime that she was straddling him… and he was naked. Despite being fully clothed, Brienne looked powerful. He was on his front so she could definitely see his arousal from that view.

"I—no one chained or assaulted me in any way," he admitted.

"What? I’ve already alerted the whole castle to find the person who could have done this to you. It may be spring and we may have helped in fighting the war in the North but you told me we could still have enemies. So, who do you think would have done this?"

“Myself.”

“Don’t jape with me!” she growled and gods, her ferocity was not helping his arousal. Brienne’s face did turn red when angered but she was redder when embarrassed or aroused. Her redness was more of the latter.

“Yes, _wife_ , I did this to myself. Check under my pillow. The key should be there.”

She looked at him incredulously but followed. She was leaning over him to reach under his pillow. Much to his torture, her stomach was brushing his cock and Jaime was sure she was doing it on purpose. Too soon, she stood up with a key in hand.

“Explain to me why you’d chain yourself?” Brienne demanded. That woman was definitely teasing him.

“It just occurred to me that when we first met, I was in chains.”

She narrowed her eyes. “And you _want_ to remember that?”

Jaime winced. No, he didn’t. “Obviously, no. Well, at least I don’t want to remember the terrible parts. But I’ve been having thoughts lately." Thoughts whenever his dark past tried to haunt him. "What if you’d accepted my offer to hold you down and show you what it feels like to be a woman,” he stated so nonchalantly despite his raging desire. Brienne remained confused.

“You’d kill me.” _So blunt._

Jaime chuckled. “I suppose so. But I was thinking more of you holding me down and having your way with me instead. It would have been a more likely scenario than my offer.”

He could feel the heat of her blush despite their distance. Perhaps it was the heat from his own desire as well.

“I would never!”

She looked absolutely scandalized and it was adorable.

“I know, I know, but it’s just something I’ve heard that happens in brothels. It’s like acting in a play but there's no audience and you fuck.”

“People… do that?” Her innocence truly was endearing. How she could still get all flustered despite the fact that they’d done it in different positions, in different places.

“Yes. I wanted to surprise you, but it seems as if you were later than usual. I ended up falling asleep.”

Brienne sputtered her apologies. “I was held back by Tarth’s castellan because I wanted to make sure that Tarth truly is alright. I’m so sorry.”

Jaime wasn't offended in any way. “My dear wife intimidating people for her just causes. It’s quite arousing.”

Finally, she looked at his cock and quickly averted her stare as if she shouldn’t look.

“I-I suppose I should alert the castle that you’re alright.”

She swung her leg over and Jaime immediately shot up from the bed.

“No!” he whined, rather pathetically, but she didn’t cease making her way to the door.

“I won’t be gone too long, I promise, and besides…” Brienne did stop only then, her hand on the door. “…you’re _my_ prisoner and you wait when I tell you to, _Kingslayer_.”

Any other day, Jaime may have taken offense, especially since she hadn’t called him that in a long time, but her playing along was making him groan like a tortured man.

Then again, the sound of Brienne closing the door behind her knowing he was in a state was indeed torturous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only I could write actual porn XD Feel free to porn this bwahahahahhaa


	147. Fuck Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May have been inspired a bit by JBO shoutout box a few days ago.

“Fuck loyalty!”

Brienne glared at him. Of course Jaime would never live it down that she, the supposedly ever proper Brienne of Tarth, _swore_.

“I admire your loyalty to the Starks, wench,” Jaime continued when she remained silent too long. “But Tarth needs you now. I think Sansa and Arya could take care of themselves. Your Lady Catelyn would surely see that your oaths are kept.”

“But…” Brienne frowned. “…I’ll have to be a lady and marry some lord who would probably make sure I pick up my sewing needles and never get my hands on Oathkeeper.”

Jaime grinned and got down to one knee. She was about to swat him to get up but his left hand caught it and placed it over the palm of his golden hand.

“Marry me, then.”

“Why?" She remained frowning but her eyes appeared shiny. "House Lannister won’t benefit from a small island such as Tarth. Your House couldn’t be that broken to consider a lowly House.”

“This goes beyond houses and honor and oaths,” he replied and Brienne blushed. His smug smile indicated that he was, once again, quoting her exact words back in the Dragonpit. She was surprised he still remembered them. “I want to marry you simply because I love you, Brienne.”

Her heart seemed to stop. Her doubt was screaming but his expression was too hopeful, too vulnerable, for it to be a jape on his part.

“Brienne?” he spoke softly. “I know I come before you broken, sullied, and scarred but… I give you all of my heart. W-will you entrust me with your own?”

With a mental shout, she silenced her fears and doubts and all her terrible experiences in the past.

"It's yours," she told him with a shy smile. "It will always be yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I like it when they quote each other ;)


	148. Procrastination

Brienne was an organized person but she had been having a rough night, which led to a lot of crying and nothing else. Even her usually obnoxious roommate wasn’t being obnoxious and was nice enough to send her a glass of water. In fact, if it weren’t for Jaime, she might have woken up late the next morning.

But with her things unprepared the night before, she might as well be running late. She seemed to forget where her things are and surprisingly, Jaime knew where they were. She must have been yelling because she hadn’t been asking him yet she kept dictating where her bag, her keys, were.

Once she looked decent enough, she brisk walked toward the door and found Jaime waiting for her near the door.

“I’m not the best cook but sandwiches aren’t too hard to do,” he said, thrusting a paper bag at her. “At least eat something on your way.”

She was going to refuse it and tell Jaime he shouldn’t have but she had no time to argue with him.

“Fine,” she relented, grabbing the paper bag then leaning down to kiss his cheek. Brienne opened the door but then froze.

_Did I just kiss Jaime Lannister on the cheek?_

She actually dared look back despite the fear of finding disgust or worse, hatred. More than half the time she’d always had the urge to choke her roommate but they have been friends, close friends even. And she will admit, he was very attractive, but would that kiss make them... _weird_.

To her surprise, he was also… surprised. His shock mirrored hers very well. Whether it was positive or negative, she was yet to find out.

Then his astonishment softened to his usual smirk but there was something darker about that gaze.

“I was wondering when you’d notice the fact that I’ve been practically shirtless ever since you announced you were going on a date with Hyle, who is still a piece of shit by the way.”

Oh Brienne had. She definitely had, but she dismissed it as Jaime being Jaime and push her even more for that date happening despite that gnawing feeling that it was going to be a disaster. Brienne hated that her gut was right but also… _Jaime went shirtless around the apartment for a week… for me?_

Not knowing what else to say, she clutched her breakfast—the one Jaime made for her—against her chest and opened and closed her mouth like a fish until her brain functioned enough for her to talk. “I-I’ll see you later, Jaime.”

He bit his lip in that stupidly sexy way, then winked. “Don’t miss me too much at work, honey.”


	149. Offered Northern Guide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canon-verse Missing Scene set after Cersei agrees ~~lies~~ to aid North against the White Walkers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those days where I have two updates and **THIS IS UPDATE NUMBER ONE. 1/2**  
>  That is all thank you XD

“I trust you can find your way North, Ser Jaime?” Ned’s bastard asked. Jaime’s irritation for that idiot hadn’t ebbed but he chose to hold his tongue. This alliance was fragile enough as it is. “Perhaps we can spare someone to stay here and aid you on your journey. Lady Brienne has quite the experience with traveling North and Sansa tells me you two are well-acquainted.”  


Time seemed to slow but his thoughts raced. The idea elated him more than he’d care to admit. It would mean traveling together to the opposite direction of their first journey and this time, as allies and—dare he say it?—friends. He could imagine the adventure they’d have together. It would certainly be a great improvement to have Brienne as a traveling companion. His heart pounded at the thought of teasing her, arguing with her, reminiscing good memories he surprisingly has, and having her there when their many horrors, such as the glint of Locke’s steel slicing his wrist, haunted him.

But his stomach churned upon realizing the implications of Brienne accompanying him. The preparations could still take a while which meant Brienne would be staying awhile, too. Staying in King’s Landing meant she was exposed to court, to Qyburn, to the Mountain, to _Cersei_. They may have had a truce but this did not mean Brienne was safe. Jaime wouldn’t put it past Cersei to use Brienne to hurt the Starks. She might as well become a hostage and the wench belonged in the field, with a sword in hand.

 _No_. Jaime wouldn’t allow Brienne to be vulnerable before his sister. For reasons beyond him, Cersei’s murderous gleams have been targeting Brienne. Jon Snow may be a dolt but Brienne was clearly much safer with his company.

Jaime looked at Brienne, wondering why she hasn’t spoken. He’d expected her to protest, she _looked_ like she wanted to protest but she seemed frozen… and blushing.

Brienne opened her mouth but Jaime spoke to the King in the North first. “Thank you for your offer but I think we have skilled navigators and people who know their way North. Lady Brienne is Lady Sansa’s sworn sword and her place is by her side.”

He, then, looked at Brienne with great disappointment and he was having this strange urge to touch her in some way—her shoulder, her hand, her cheek. _Just a few weeks_ , he assured himself. He forced a smile upon his face, feeling ridiculous over his impatience and confusing need to be side by side with the wench.

“Stay alive until then, my lady,” Jaime said in a light tone. “I look forward to fighting beside you.”


	150. The Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those days where I have two updates and **THIS IS UPDATE NUMBER TWO. 2/2**  
>  That is all thank you XD

Arianne was red in the face by the time they arrived at the emergency room. Throughout the ride, her mother wouldn’t stop scolding her father and her father would retaliate by making her mother blush, which made Arianne blush as well. She was glad that she was a focused driver despite her parents’ yelling.

Thankfully there weren’t too many people in the emergency room so the doctor saw to them quickly. Arianne immediately took the task of filling out forms, but still, she could hear her parents’ shouting match from where she was.

“Doctor, I broke my hip, trying to please my young wife!”

“You broke your hip trying to prove you’re not old when you realized the youngest of our seven children is finally eighteen!”

“I’m not old, wench! I can still do everything that we did on and off the bed when I was in my thirties!”

“Yes, you are and no, you cannot, Jaime Lannister! But when will you get it through your thick skull that I will never leave you even if you’re bald and bedridden! I love you, you overdramatic idiot!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruby told me about this movie called “The Book Club” about elderly ladies in a book club and they were reading 50 Shades of Grey. I think that gives you an idea about what the movie is about and why this fic came about because you know Jaime will have some sort of crisis about his age and his wife being much younger. bwahhahahaha


	151. His Last Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lookie another two drabbles a day. But this is also a parallel fic drabble which means the two updates are two fics in one story so **THIS IS PART ONE OF THE FIC. 1/2**

Jaime probably danced with more than half the female student body but the one girl he wanted to spend time with tonight kept eluding him. She probably wouldn’t even have attended had he not convinced her that nobody, not even the fairly competent Loras, could make the event run smoothly better than her.

Who knew a woman taller than even his already tall build would be difficult to spot? The stupid multicolored spotlights made it hard to find her blue dress in the crowd. She really didn’t look any different except she did try to tame her (still) untamable straw hair, but he was fairly certain her astonishing blue eyes appeared more prominent than usual.

Brienne headed the prom committee and Jaime had been merely put in the committee because of detention. He had hated her, she had hated him, but when a huge fight caused prom in jeopardy and most of their help to be unavailable, the two not only grew closer, but also realized how well they worked together. Jaime even felt something more.

It was kinda like the cliché high school rom coms he secretly borrows from Cersei.

It was _totally_ like the cliché high school rom coms he secretly borrows from Cersei.

Jaime wished it remained that way when prom rolled around. He wished he had asked her out. That he had picked her up from her house like a proper prom date. He wanted to tremble before her father as he waited for her to walk down the staircase, blushing like the girl he knew resided in her armored heart, while he’d look at her like she was an angel coming down from Seven Heavens.

But she’d dismissively told him that she would see him at school and left in a hurry before he could even ask.

Genuinely tired, he managed to give more eager girls a decent excuse to refuse them and decided to drink. As he approached the table for the food, he found something he craved more than a drink. Some feet away from the table, he found Brienne glancing at her clipboard. His heart soared and quickly gulped down a drink before walking briskly toward her. He wasn’t going to allow her to disappear on him again.

“There you are, my lady,” he greeted with a hint of teasing. Brienne froze for a moment before slowly turning her gaze up from her clipboard. He grinned wider when he saw that she was wearing eyeliner.

“H-hi,” she replied. She seemed nervous and he didn’t want her to be.

“Still a woman of few words, I see.”

It earned him a glare but it didn’t hold the menace it used to.

“I think you’ve earned a break, boss.” That was another one of his many nicknames for her. “Come, dance with me.”

“It’s fine. I’m not fond of dances anyway.”

Jaime noticed her hardened expression. Something made her hate dances. Countless possibilities ran through his head and all of them made him want to hit faceless phantoms, but he shoved them away lest he punch some random person.

“I must insist,” he replied, taking her clipboard and handing it to some nearby teacher, Mr. Arryn probably. Then he pulled her to the dance floor. “Come on, boss. Just once dance! Prom is almost over and I’m certain all you’ve been doing is working.”

Jaime was surprised how there was little resistance from her. By the time they lost themselves in the crowd, slow music came on. He wanted very much to embrace her but he knew Brienne was still wary so Jaime kept her at arm’s length, so unlike the other girls who wrapped their dainty arms around him like an octopus. Even his shyer partners earlier were closer than she was. She also stood much taller than all he’d danced with that he had to look up, but it was worth it just to stare at those beautiful eyes.

None of those girls made his palms sweat or his heart pound.

None of them made Jaime refuse to let go.

Only Brienne did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a feature story in a show of the school heartthrob dancing with the ugly shy girl. I doubt it was anything romantic but you know I can JB-fy anything ;)


	152. Her Last Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh lookie another two drabbles a day. But this is also a parallel fic drabble which means the two updates are two fics in one story so **THIS IS PART TWO OF THE FIC. 2/2**

Brienne was checking for the nth time if everything was in order. She didn’t even want to attend and leave the live event to Loras. Prom brought many terrible memories of the first dance she ever attended—the date, the rose, the bet. But a sharp smile cut through her armored heart like Valyrian steel, making his reasons seem reasonable to her. She even went out of the way to buy a new dress and even put on eyeliner (the blue of her dress and the only make-up she put on definitely was _not_ because of his compliment about her eyes).

When they met, she’d written off Jaime as every other boy she met—cruel and arrogant and didn’t see past her looks. He didn’t bother changing her opinion and kept antagonizing and antagonizing her until their constant clashing exploded all their hard work to smithereens. But that had been where their relationship shifted and that was when she shifted. Jaime sneaked past her defenses.

A stupid hopeful part of her wished Jaime would ask her to prom; to be like in the rom coms she and her dad liked to watch together. She wanted to walk down the staircase with Jaime waiting at the bottom like prince charming. Maybe even have her father make embarrassing threats about keeping her safe and taking her home as soon as prom ended.

But she knew they were foolish dreams and only rewarded him with a swift agreement to attend prom, leaving before she embarrassed herself by spontaneously combusting from her girlish fantasies.

She rested against the wall a few feet away from the food table and was about to check her clipboard to distract herself again when a shadow fell before her.

“There you are, my lady.”

It was too late to run away. She had to face Jaime sooner or later. With a subtle sigh, she looked up. Her heart nearly stopped at the way he smiled at her. How did she manage to run from that smile earlier?

“H-hi,” she replied, not knowing what else to say.

“Still a woman of few words, I see,” he chuckled.

She glared at his teasing but she knew it didn’t really mean it.

“I think you’ve earned a break, boss.” Had it really only been a few hours since he’d last called her his favorite irritating moniker for her? If someone told her before that she’d ever miss it, she would think they were crazy, but look at her now. “Come, dance with me.”

A yes wanted to escape her lips but it got stuck in her throat. Hunt, Connington, and the rest of the _bet boys_ held back her answer.

“It’s fine. I’m not fond of dances anyway,” she replied instead.

There was something dark that crossed Jaime’s features and Brienne thought he looked murderous, but he took a deep breath and his pleasant mood returned once more.

“I must insist.” He took her clipboard, ignoring her protests, and handed it to Mr. Arryn. She gave him a quick apology. Before taking her hand and pulled her to the dance floor. “Come on, boss. Just once dance! Prom is almost over and I’m certain all you’ve been doing is working.”

Once again, she was in that state of mind that Jaime’s reasons were unreasonable. She was easily stronger than Jaime and could’ve stood her ground, but she allowed him to lead her on anyway. Slow music came on once Jaime found a suitable spot. She wanted to hold him close but she was afraid, _very_ _afraid_. Jaime seemed to understand and held her at arm’s length. Shyly, she put her hands on his shoulders while he, at her waist, then they swayed gently to the music.

Before she knew about the bet, Brienne had been truly flattered by those asshole’s attentions and even held her closer than Jaime did. But nobody had looked at her softly like Jaime.

None of those boys had made her knees quake or her heart race.

None of them had made Brienne want to say stay.

Only Jaime did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a feature story in a show of the school heartthrob dancing with the ugly shy girl. I doubt it was anything romantic but you know I can JB-fy anything ;)


	153. Imagining the Future

“What would our child look like?”

Brienne slightly turned her head and found Jaime’s smiling face.

“I don’t know,” she replied. “Mostly like you I suppose. I don’t want them to suffer as I had.”

Jaime frowned for a moment before smiling once more. “I would like her to have your eyes. Your eyes are very beautiful.”

“What’s wrong with your eyes?” Brienne protested. She never understood his obsession with her eyes. She knew he loved her but he was brutally honest as well. Perhaps he wanted to tell her she was beautiful without lying. In truth, Jaime didn’t find her as ugly as he used to. Her eyes just outshone them all.

“That would be unfair. She already looks like me. She should have something of her mother’s, too. But I think she should also have your skin. Oh! And your freckles.”

She huffed. “That’s ridiculous! My skin burns easily and freckles aren’t beautiful at all.”

He pretended to pout. “I like your blush and your freckles. Our little girl would probably enjoy learning constellations with his Uncle Tyrion using her skin.”

“Why do you keep mentioning a girl?" she asked him. "I want a son. I wouldn’t know how to deal with a girl.”

“Oh worry not. I can teach her to sew and braid her hair. I may have one hand but I still remember how to do it." Brienne knew he was talking about those time he and Cersei used to switch clothes when they were small and untainted by their twisted love. "You’ll teach her to ride and fight. She will be a lady and a warrior. Just as her mother was.”

“Are you sure it isn’t to beat her suitors to the dust?” she teased.

Jaime snorted. “Not to worry. She’ll be followed by sons immediately to intimidate them. We’ll have nine of them.”

“N-nine?”

“Nine sons and one daughter.”

“I can’t give birth to ten children!”

“Fine, we can have seven then—six sons and a daughter. The gods would love that. Wouldn’t they?”

Brienne laughed and then began coughing. “It’s too late for that now.”

Smell of snow and fire and blood and steel permeated around them. It was over. The war was finally over.

And so were their lives.

“Perhaps the fact that we’re still talking is part of the gods’ mercy.”

Only one god wanted them and for some reason, he hasn’t taken them yet.

Subconsciously, Brienne reached out her left and at the same time, Jaime reached out his stump. He had thrown his golden hand somewhere when it had warped so badly that it couldn’t even be used to stop blades. Their joined flesh provided warmth and comfort.

“Maybe we’ll see each other again in a different life, a better life where we don’t have to deal with all _this_ ,” Brienne said.

Jaime hummed. “Perhaps. Maybe the gods will grant as a safer life where we can raise our seven kids in comfort.”

Their touching flesh and the thought of a new world—a world without the poison of politics or the threat of White Walkers—where Jaime and Brienne and their brood would live peacefully, provided warmth and comfort before the Stranger took them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. ;-; I promise for crack tomorrow, if I can leech internet from my cousin again XD


	154. Portmanteau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek haahahahha.

“Jaime, we don’t need a couple name.”

“Oh yes we do, Brienne. These days, you’re not an official couple until you do.”

“Our names sound ridiculous together!”

“What about Jaimienne?”

“That’s long.”

“Jienne?”

“Do the guys’ names _always_ have to be first? Besides, ‘J’ could be anyone.”

“Brienme?”

“Still vague.”

“Braime? Oh… I like that. We could be like a family sitcom. _The Braime Bunch_.”

“You’re ridiculous!”

“Lannistarth?”

“Jaime, you’re not the only Lannister.”

“Stop shooting down my ideas, Brienne! I might be lazy and just call us JB… oooooor—”

“Shut up!”

“Why not? You love giving me—”

“I swear to the Seven, Jaime, I _will_ leave you if you continue that.”

“Nooooooooo! If you leave, I will miss your—”

“I’m not listening!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized this looks like a tumblr shitpost I'd make.


	155. Armors and Bodies

Brienne looks glumly at the battered golden armor on the table in her room. The Starks had given it to her during their stay in Riverrun where they had evacuated to when Winterfell was overrun by wights. Her precious blue armor had been too heavy to take with her. So she’d left it behind.

It wasn’t that Brienne was ungrateful. She even took delight in the fact that the sisters had bonded over it. Sansa was the one who suggested that it should be decorated with a starburst like her house while Arya was the one overseeing its progress since her friend, Gendry, was the smith. Brienne was glad, truly, and it served her well in battle, but Brienne never felt home in that armor. She’d had it altered several times because it didn’t quite fit her well. The color seemed flashy to her, too. But she really had no choice.

With a sigh, she called out for her squire who was not Podrick because he’s been knighted after the war.

“M’lady, Lord Jaime had told me that he’ll come by to help you into your armor himself. He should be here soon.”

The eager smile in the squire’s face made Brienne’s eyes narrow in suspicion. Then she blushed at what it could possibly mean. The whole castle knew just how passionate she and Jaime could get, much to her embarrassment, but he’d always told her never to care about what others thought, especially since they were a married couple.

She started listening to his advice more than her inner septa.

“Lady wife!”

At that point, Brienne’s face was on fire and her squire quickly fled the room. A heartbeat later, Jaime came in with a bright smile on his face. He didn’t even close the door when she launched herself at him like a common whore. She knew she was going to be mortified later but she would forget about it while Jaime kissed her as if they’ve been apart for years and not mere hours.

Brienne tugged at his breeches and began pulling at the ties when Jaime’s hand stopped her.

“Wait, stop,” he said.

And her embarrassment hit her full force. She jumped away from him as if he was heated metal and looked down at her boots, ashamed.

“No, Brienne. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s just—”

But he was interrupted by their door opening and several squires came in with something covered in a white sheet. _Oh._ They laid it on the bed before scrambling to get out. She began stuttering as soon as she was certain they were well away. “I… the squire said you’ll be the one to help me into my armor. You similarly order the maids who help me change before going to bed so you can…”

Brienne wanted the ground to swallow there and then. There was silence for a breath or two and then Jaime burst out into laughter.

“Stop it, Jaime! It’s… oh gods…”

She couldn’t even describe what she was feeling... distress probably. Still, Jaime kept laughing. Fed up, Brienne growled before stomping past him, about to leave, but he caught her wrist.

“Where are you going, Brienne? You still haven’t opened your present.”

She wanted to scream at him for teasing her but the word ‘present’ caught her attention. With a sigh, Brienne allowed Jaime to lead her to the bed. She made a face before turning to the sheet and pulling it off. In seconds, her sourness relaxed into surprise.

“I know the Stark brats meant well with that bright golden thing,” she heard Jaime say. “But they don’t know your body like I do, wench.”

Brienne even ignored his teasing tone due to being mesmerized. She reached out her hand to touch the blue metal. It had been two years since she’d last seen her old armor but she remembered the way it shone the first time he’d shown it to her. Unlike her old armor, however, the breastplate was more ornate than her old one. It took some shifting for the light to hit the right places but she was able to recognize the images.

“You are Lady Lannister but you are the Evenstar as well,” he explained.

In the middle of the breastplate was the lion sigil of House Lannister but it was surrounded by the crescents and starbursts of House Tarth. She’d even noticed that the shoulder pads had protruding lions with starburst manes. Brienne wanted to cry.

“I take that I’m forgiven?” he asked lightly to hide his nervousness.

Brienne tackled Jaime into an embrace and he immediately nuzzled her neck. He basked in the joy and warmth radiating from her every pore.

But Jaime's hold loosened eventually. “As much as I love staying like this, wife, would you like to try it on?”

At that, Brienne let him go.

“Yes,” she answered but to his confusion, she pulled him away from the armor. “B-but not without thanking my lord husband first.”

Jaime's eyes widened. “What have I done to you?” he said, laughing as Brienne untied the laces of his breeches. “I’ve given my wife the Kingslayer’s wantonness!”

But neither complained as they began exploring the familiar terrains of each other’s bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it'd be cool for Brienne to have armor with both Tarth and Lannister sigils after the war. :D And horny Brienne misunderstanding Jaime's intentions just cause mehehehhehe


	156. Everything

When Jaime left King's Landing, he thought he'd lost everything he had left.

He even thought he would lose his life, too. After all, he was heading North, where they remember every shit deed he'd ever done, to fulfill barely half a pledge. He was a one-handed man with no army with him.

But when the stupid stubborn woman with astonishing blue eyes vouched for him, practically risking being torn apart by the wolves along with him, Jaime realized that Brienne was now his everything.


	157. Her Precious Blue Hoodie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Jaime giving clothing gifts to Brienne just cause :P

Brienne had meant to hide it in her bag at some point. It was just one of the many, many hoodies Jaime had owned and had casually lent to her when she was staying in King’s Landing. Jaime had dismissively told her to keep it because it suited her. Ever since then, Brienne was _obsessed_ with the hoodie. The fabric wasn’t only comfortable but it was just the right fit and some people complimented on how it went with her eyes. If she had her way, she probably would never take it off but she wanted it in good condition always so there were days she couldn’t wear this precious not-quite-a-gift.

It may or may not also be sentimental because Jaime, in his own Jaime way, treated her as if she were a lady needing a jacket from her gentleman.

And, well… it was _from Jaime_.

She couldn’t let Jaime know how much she loved the hoodie. He’d rub it in her face. It was bad enough she was getting these weird feelings thinking about him. But she _knew_ Jaime was going to attend the same convention she was in Riverrun. She had an inkling he would stay in the same hotel as her. She just didn’t know they would arrive at the _exact same time_.

“Wench!” he greeted.

 _Fuck!_ He was dressed more like a tourist than a CEO but he still took her breath away.

“Hi,” she answered timidly. _Maybe he won’t notice the hoodie_. After all, he had _tons_ of those. He probably didn’t remember it… or even giving it away.

But his sharp smile told her otherwise.

“I see you still have the hoodie I gave you!” Jaime exclaimed all too happily and Brienne wanted to be struck by lightning so badly. “Good. You don’t know how many shops I went to to find this in your size and this exact shade of blue—fuck!”


	158. A Failed Quest

“I have failed the quest you have given me, my lady.”

“Maybe you should have paid attention to the trout you were frying rather than pretend you were Ser Goldenhand the Ju—Jaime, please put down the pan lid and spatula!”

“Fine… Here. It’s yours, Lady Brienne. Ser Goldenhand has clearly no need for it anyway. His lady warrior clearly wields Oathkeeper better.”

“You did _not_ just name our spatula after an ancient sword… and no, Jaime, your yellow oven mitt clad right hand still won’t get you out of cooking lessons.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I cooked fish with raging oil armed with nothing but a rice cooker lid and a spatula. XD


	159. Bribe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ficlet is in commemoration for JAB June and the Wet Hot Summer JB Vacay Extravaganza. :D

Jaime had planned it all for Operation: Summer Seduction.

He’d bribed their friends to go on vacation with them so Brienne would agree to go, too. He’d bribed the manager to pretend to have a mishap with their reservations. He bribed their friends once again so they got the less expensive room while Jaime and Brienne got the fancy one with the hot tub in the balcony. He’d even bribed his own penis to behave by jerking off in the shower before he wore the red speedo that left very little to the imagination.

“Brienne, you done?” he asked from inside the bathroom, his muscles already tensed for the pose he’s been practicing for maximum Brienne seduction.

“Yeah but…”

Ever the excited one, Jaime didn’t hear the reluctance in her voice and just opened the bathroom door, ready to make Brienne behold all his glorious body when an unusual sight on his usually very demure best friend (and secret love of his life) made him pause.

“I—Margaery came over when I was packing and gave me this... b-bikini,” Brienne explained. “I put this in my bag so Margaery wouldn’t be offended. I must have forgotten to pack my one piece.”

No way was it a coincidence. Jaime must have bribed Margaery too much. Brienne shrunk into herself in a futile attempt to hide her bikini clad body.

“Stop gaping at me!” Brienne growled, grabbing a fluffy white robe on the bed. “I know! An ugly mannish woman like me shouldn’t wear something feminine and delicate.”

She shrugged into her robe but it was too late. Brienne’s body in a skimpy blue bikini was burned in his memory. He could even remember her nipples making themselves known through the fabric.

Jaime realized he didn’t bribe his dick enough as it strained against his small, already tight swimwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek if the dick bribing is funny but *shrugs*


	160. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consulting the [Wheel of Vacay Prompts](http://wheeldecide.com/index.php?c1=%22I+thought+I+had+the+air+mattress+packed.%22&c2=%22We%27re+completely+and+utterly+lost%2C+aren%27t+we%3F%22&c3=%22I+need+another+room.%22&c4=%22Do+you+have+anything+to+declare%3F%22&c5=%22Of+course+I+can+read+a+compass.%22&c6=%22The+airline+has+lost+my+luggage.%22&c7=%22I+always+have+the+window+seat.%22&c8=%22Just+because+this+is+a+train+doesn%27t+mean+we+can%27t+join+the+mile+high+club.%22&c9=%22Remind+me+never+to+travel+with+you+again.%22&c10=%22This+does+not+look+like+the+brochure+at+all.%22&c11=%22Excuse+me%3F+Would+you+be+so+kind+and+put+sun+lotion+on+my+back%3F%22&c12=%22I+had+to+travel+halfway+around+the+world+to+meet+you.%22&c13=%22If+this+food+makes+my+allergy+strike%2C+just+stab+me+with+the+pen.%22&c14=%22I+thought+bigfoot+was+a+myth%2C+but+looking+at+your+shoes%2C+I+see+I+was+mistaken.%22&c15=%22You%27re+not+supposed+to+leave+the+travel+group.%22&c16=%22Live+dangerously+for+once%2C+wench%21%22&c17=%22How+long+have+you+been+working+on+this+cruise+ship%3F%22&c18=%22Is+this+a+bad+time+to+mention+I+can%27t+swim%3F%22&c19=%22This+will+make+a+perfect+souvenir+from+the+trip.%22&c20=%22My+money+was+stolen.+What+should+I+do%3F%22&c21=%22This+camping+thing+sucks%21%22&c22=%22I+need+one+of+these+for+my+living+room%21%22&c23=%22Stop%21+This+is+a+closed-off+area%21%22&c24=%22This+is+the+perfect+sand+castle%21%22&c25=%22That+has+got+to+be+the+nastiest+sunburn+I+have+seen+in+my+life.%22&c26=%22I+wish+I+had+taken+a+picture+of+...%22+&c27=%22One+of+the+perks+of+traveling+in+style.%22&c28=%22Let%27s+stay+here+forever.%22&c29=%22Adventure+vacation%2C+my+ass%21%22&c30=%22It%27s+perfectly+legal+in+this+country.%22&cols=6693BA,ED426A,F7F0F0&t=wheel-of-vacay-prompts&time=5), I got "My money was stolen. What should I do?"
> 
> Also, this is drabble 1/2 for today.

Brienne didn’t know who else to turn to. Despite the fact that he had kept antagonizing her, she’ll admit that he’s the only one in this city she felt she could trust.

He was also the only one who had a Westerosi vocabulary that wasn’t limited to souvenir prices and rental fees.

“My money was stolen. What should I do?”

Jaime grinned in that way that made her want to smack him but his eyes stared softly at her.

“You’re in luck!” he exclaimed, holding out a black card that turned red when light shone over it. Brienne’s eyes widened. That was a _Valyrian_ Lannister Bank credit card. Only the richest of the rich had them. Her family was considered rich but she was only even able to acquire a golden one until it was, of course, stolen. Jaime… no, he couldn’t be. He was _the_ Jaime Lannister?

“One condition though,” he spoke, snapping Brienne out of her thoughts.

“As long as it’s reasonable,” she said warily. She was desperate but not _that_ desperate.

Jaime chuckled. “Of course. Have dinner with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about credit cards but I know that it can have different "colors" depending on the money you use or something? idk hahhaaha. Of course Valyrian card would be for the richest.


	161. The Stray

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm now the JB!Cat Lady of this fandom because people just send me cats that could be Jaime and Brienne. XD  
>  **THIS IS 2/2 UPDATE TODAY.** So click back to read another update. :P

_They’ll be fine this time_ , Tommen tried to assure himself. But his back was turned for barely a minute and his mother’s familiar scream followed by the shrieks of cats echoed in his apartment. His mother had assured him that she’d been raising a cat since Tommen moved out.

She brought the evidence, too.

It wasn’t the fact that the cat was pretty and well-groomed. His mother had the money to hire people to take care of a cat. She could spend needlessly for  _that._ It was the fact that the cat actually _liked_ his mother. The cat seemed to take her personality as well. She was poised like a queen seated on the Iron Throne (a plush pillow) and looked down at you like you were scum from medieval Flea Bottom.

Tommen was proud, really. For one, she’d expressed her obvious disdain for his pets, especially when she visited. She’d yell out whenever one brushed her leg.

Also, he thought that once he finally moved out, their mother would allow herself to finally succumb to wine upon realizing that all her children were gone from her red talon grasps.

But of course it would be too good to be true.

Tommen rushed back to the living room, imagining a thousand cats hissing at his mother, but all he saw was a grumpy pregnant Brienne, laying on top of Jaime and glaring daggers at his mother’s cat.

“Tommen!” his mother shrieked. “It’s your _ugly_ cat! Frankly, my dear, why do you even have that _thing_ breed with such a handsome cat. He’d look so much better with my baby. I wouldn’t even have _her_ in my house.”

Tommen scowled. Now he finally understood what his mother was playing at.

“Mom. I’m not going to move back,” he told her firmly.

“But sweetie, think of how happy Jaime and Cersei will be together back home.”

Tommen groaned. “Mom. Seriously. It’s already bad enough you looked for a cat that looked like Jaime. Did you really have to name her after yourself, too?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't imagine Cersei ever taking care of pets but if she could somehow... she would so name her after herself. :P  
> Inspiration photo sent to me by dizzyfingers18 on tumblr and I put it in a meme:  
> 


	162. Sandcastle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spun the wheel of vacay again (link of wheel of vacay on chapter 160: Help) and I got "This is the perfect sandcastle!"
> 
> **This is 1/2 update today :D**

"This is the perfect sandcastle!” Jaime exclaimed.

If Brienne were honest, it looked more like a smaller, sandy version of the Wall, but it was large enough to hide their bottoms whenever their hands felt like wandering to one another’s bottom swimwear.


	163. Nidoran

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **This is update 2/2 today.**

“Brieeeeeenne! You so have to catch that male Nidoran!”

“Why? I don’t really like it, Jaime.”

“Well, duh. So I can mate it with Brienne.”

“Excuse me?”

“Brienne. My female Nidoran? You know… Looks like the one appearing on your screen but is blue. Just catch that Nidoran so you can name him after me.”

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to breed Pokémon but I do have a Nidorino!Jaime and Nidorina!Brienne in my Pokémon fire red and they have their own box xD
> 
> I'm sorry I can't show a photo of a Nidoran male and female because I'm on mobile. D:


	164. Lost and Found

As Jaime pounded on the apartment door, he was already thinking of a thirtieth way to kill Tyrion. Maybe he should just leave and let the serial killer that had plagued his fears since last night deal with the little Imp. But that would mean he would be left alone to deal with Tywin and Cersei and that wouldn’t do.

Before he could knock again and scream Lannister worthy threats, the door creaked open.

“What?”

Jaime’s first thought was who was this ugly asshole? Then, he realized he was talking to a woman because her towel was wrapped around her chest. Then, he realized said towel was above her knees, showing off her long gorgeous legs that most definitely, undeniably did not make his lower regions stir. Then, he realized he’s been staring at her legs too long and decided to look at her ugly face once more to calm himself only to be drawn into the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen. Then, he realized he hasn’t said a word for too long because the door was about to slam in his face.

Thank the Seven for his reflexes though. He stuck out his foot to stop it.

“I’m looking for my brother,” Jaime told the woman with the long legs and astonishing eyes. “Barely over four feet. Most likely drunk. Probably fucked you last night.”

The woman turned to a delicious shade of red and Jaime just wanted to nuzzle her cheek right there.

“I would never!” she sputtered, much to Jaime’s amusement.

“You’re right. You’re hardly his type,” he retorted. The woman flinched and Jaime saw the hurt in her eyes. Panicking, he tried to make amends. “You’re much too large for him.” _Tried_. “I bet you want a man who could throw you down and overpower you but none of them are strong enough. I’m strong enough.”

Her gaze was burning and Jaime relished it.

However, it was short-lived because a voice called out from the inside.

“My darling big brother! How kind of you to come to my rescue!”

Sure enough, Tyrion waddled into view.

“You little bastard!” Jaime seethed. “How did you even end up here?”

“My memory’s a little fuzzy but I had a rather strange dream about some giant drunk woman who’d mistaken me for a lost child and carried me to her home,” Tyrion replied with a rather mischievous smirk.

Understanding his brother’s smirk, he turned back to the woman and gave her a teasing grin of his own. If it was possible, she looked even redder. She turned back to Tyrion in an apologetic manner.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't m-mean to offend you. I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight a-at all! I would never look down on people with d-disabilities like that."

“Come now. Stop teasing Brienne, brother," Tyrion softly chided Jaime. "She was my knight in shining armor. Most people might steal from me but she granted me a place to rest my hungover head for the night.”

“Thank you, Brienne” Jaime told her... _Brienne_ , genuinely serious this time.

“It was no trouble.”

Knowing Tyrion, he probably was trouble, but Brienne was too polite to say so.

“You got everything you need?” Jaime asked his brother who replied with a nod. Without warning, Jaime carried Tyrion like a child.

“Hey, put me down!” Tyrion protested.

“You were acting like such a child, making me worry and shit. So you’ll be treated like a child!” Jaime would’ve blurted out that he was thankful for their father’s stalker-ish tendencies toward his kids but he didn’t want to mention the tracking device Tywin implanted in them in front of Brienne. “Let’s not bother Ms. Brienne any more, don’t you think?”

Tyrion muttered his agreement before Jaime turned to Brienne.

“Thank you for taking in my stupid brother, my lady,” Jaime said with a flourished bow, as flourished as he could while carrying Tyrion but it still had the intended effect which was reigniting her cute blush.

“I’ll be sure to thank you someday, Brienne,” Tyrion added. “A Lannister always pays his debts.”

Brienne, being Brienne, mumbled something shyly that could be a polite retort or a death threat, before closing the door.

As the two were well away, Jaime asked Tyrion, “You didn’t fuck her, did you?”

The younger brother laughed. “Hardly my type. You know I like my women shorter with a lot more boob. Like a lot more.” _Yeah, you like your bimbos with volleyball tits._ “But Brienne hm? Leggy, blonde, looks like she could boss you around and beat you up if you don’t listen.” _Don't forget the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen, brother._ “You should take her out, Jaime. You know, to thank her. I was quite a bother.”

Jaime smirked. “If she doesn’t punch me in the face as soon as I open my mouth, yeah why not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on an internet story where this guy brings home a drunk dwarf. It was originally the roommate who brought him home but I kinda wanted Brienne to be the one to bring him home.


	165. Mistaken Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologize ahead for the errors because I posted this on mobile.

Brienne wasn’t surprised when she found Jaime drunkenly knocking on her door at three in the morning. In fact, she’d been expecting he’d be in this state (most likely cajoled by Tyrion) at some point after what he’d been through lately. She wasn’t even surprised he ended up in her room. For some strange reason, she had been the one person he’d oddly vented to and spent a lot of time with ever since the break-up.

However, Brienne was surprised when he kissed her, muttering a quiet but firm ‘I love you’ against her mouth.

Gods know she wanted this—wanted him—but this would be unfair on both their parts. Jaime had just ended his illicit affair with his own sister after he found out he wasn’t the only one she’d been sleeping with. And Brienne… she didn’t want to be kissed by anyone, especially Jaime, when their fantasy conjured another woman.

Brienne pushed him away, gently, but it pained her so much to do so. Jaime, thankfully, pulled away and he was blinking his glassy green eyes rapidly at her.

“You don’t want…” he croaked, the hurt and rejection evident in his face. _He’s thinking of Cersei’s betrayal._

“You need to sleep,” she merely replied but Jaime wrapped his arms around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek and took a deep sniff.

“Stay. Please. I don’t want to let you go. I love you,” he begged.

It broke her heart to see him like this, to have a woman who never deserved his love still have his devotion. No doubt Jaime would come to his senses when he was coherent but it was sad that some part of his heart was still held hostage by Cersei.

“I’ll stay,” she said. Carefully, she lead him to her bed and lowered him down gently. After a moment’s hesitation, she climbed in next to him and his arms automatically went their way around her torso, rather chastely to her surprise, then buried his nose against her cheek. He’d confessed to her one time how Cersei always kicked him out of bed immediately after and he never questioned it because he understood they couldn’t get caught. Jaime must be craving for that affection of being held.

Brienne knew it was all a fantasy and she didn't need to do this. In fact, she probably shouldn't do this. But she was selfish and Jaime needed this.

As Brienne thought of what to say in the morning if he woke up first and found them in this state, he kissed her cheek and muttered, “Good night, Brienne.”


	166. Another Woman in his Life

All Jaime had wanted was Cersei.

Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen had barely even mattered. He hadn’t really felt the sting when Cersei refused to let him hold them. He had only been present during their births _for Cersei._ He had shrugged when he watch the three grow up thinking that the fat drunk oaf the realm called king was their father. They were Jaime’s seed but they were never truly his children.

Jaime had barely cared though. Cersei was all that had mattered to Jaime.

* * *

 

His love for Brienne had been no less passionate than his love for Cersei, but when Jaime held his golden-haired, blue-eyed little girl for the first time, he didn’t know his heart would be filled with more love—different from his love for Brienne—but still as fierce. A love clawing at his heart with promises to protect, care, and cherish for the rest of his life. Tears sprung out from his eyes and it just flowed and flowed until Jaime was just uncontrollably sobbing.

“She’s _my_ little girl,” he breathed between hiccups and he realized how liberating it had felt to acknowledge a child that was his… theirs. “She’s _our_ beautiful baby girl.”

Jaime looked to his wife, his darling Brienne, who was smiling despite how weary she felt from the bloody battle she’d just been through. The dread he’d felt when he looked at her battling something not even the best of knights could aid her in nearly consumed him, but she’d made it. By the grace of the gods, she’d actually made it. They _both_ made it, his wife and their little girl, the perfection that they created from their love.

“I love you,” Jaime told her, tears still running down his bearded cheeks. “I love you both so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I still don't wanna have kids but it's a nice feeling to have a well-behaved clingy baby to hug. :3 My baby nephew got me in the mood for crying daddy Jaime fic okay? XD~~


	167. A Dog in Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE 1/2 TODAY**

When Bronn, Jaime’s German shepherd who’s constantly in heat, shamelessly displayed his hardening dick for all to see, Jaime mercilessly teased Brienne that the dog was horny for her.

Unbeknownst to her, it was actually Jaime’s pitiful way of hiding the fact that he was in a very similar state.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because weird JABbing.


	168. Sticky Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE 2/2 TODAY**

Septa Donyse was alarmed when she found her two blonde charges, Jaime and Brienne, crying in the corner of the playground. She checked them for injuries but thankfully there were none. The only thing unusual was one of them was drenched in glue. The two seemed to have been fighting again, the septa deduced, especially because Jaime's twin, Cersei just returned from the hospital after getting in a fight with Catelyn. She should’ve known the peace they’ve had the past few days wouldn’t last.

“Jaime, did Brienne pour a whole bottle of glue all over you?” the septa asked. Brienne was a good girl but Jaime Lannister tested the patience of even the most saintly kids.

Jaime momentarily stopped bawling to look at the septa with wide disbelieving eyes before shaking his head. Then Jaime resumed bawling as he explained the situation. The septa almost couldn’t understand his words.

“Septa Donyse, I b—” _hic_ “—broke promise to Brienne and now…” _hic_ “…the S—sevem punished me coz…” _hic_ “…Brienne is mad at me…” _hic_ “…and I promise that I won’t ever…” _hic_ “…leave her again and she…” _hic_ “…didn’t believe me so I told her I’d do any—” _hic_ “—thing to stick by her always so I got th—” _hic_ “—this glue to show her I’m _seeeeeroos_ with my promises!”


	169. The Stage Dad

Jaime knew his baby girl was a gifted dancer.

Jaime had been watching Joanne during practices. He’d seen how good his little girl was and it wasn’t just him being a biased parent either. The teacher had taken notice as well and showered her with praises more than the other kids.

However, that was the reason those mothers, who had once shamelessly flirted with him, turned against him. Jaime would have been thankful that these women had ceased throwing themselves at him but he did not like knowing the talons and fangs of women: gossip. At best, their passive aggressive comments would be the teacher was just favoring him because he’s hot.

He had nearly punched a bitch when he’d overheard one of them saying he’s fucking the teacher. Jaime did not know if their husbands have been faithless shitheads and while nobody certainly deserved asshole partners, they shouldn’t drag others down just because they have shitty lives.

He was Jaime _fucking_ Tarth. That alone should be a godsdamned testament to his commitment to his wife. People who had no clue about him or his family yet were questioning his fidelity was beyond insulting.

It didn’t stop at the mothers though. It seemed that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. He’d notice Joanne’s female classmates alienating her and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness for his baby girl.

He was thankful that his wife was a reasonable woman who believed that the best revenge is to do one’s best because he was _this_ close to concocting a plan with Jo and Gal to sabotage little girls’ costumes.

Instead, he decided to take Brienne’s advice.

Years of being the stay-at-home husband vastly improved his crafting skills. For one week, he, the twins, and even Brienne who had a Sunday off, set to work on the main piece of Joanne’s costume.

The butterfly wings.

On the day of the performance, Jaime relished the looks of envy he and Joanne got from the mothers and their daughters when they revealed her recycled butterfly wings that easily outshone the store bought wings.

To further their ire, Jaime gave Brienne a near inappropriate kiss before she went off to film Joanne’s performance. Jaime had shielded Gal's eyes and the rest of the kids had their backs turned. The mothers saw it all though. Jaime glared at them, challenging their unfound notions that he’d ever cheat on his wife, before turning his attention back to watching his little girl outperform their little girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a longer fic set in this universe but I got stuck so I guess this is a preview of it? xD
> 
> Also, Joanne was based on a post I saw before where someone noticed that all Tarth women ended with -nne (alysanne, arianne, Brienne) and that Joanne could be a JB baby name xD


	170. Quite a Match

“I’d bet you they’re fucking!” Bronn said.

“For you, fucking is the answer to everything, Bronn,” Tyrion snorted.

“I’m not wrong aren’t I?” Bronn retorted.

“It isn’t good if it doesn’t have a side of wine,” Tyrion replied, raising his flask of wine. “…but that’s not the point. I _don’t_ think they’re fucking.”

“Oh come on!” Bronn exclaimed. “These two idiots have been pining for each other since… oh I don’t know… they saw each other?”

“You’re exaggerating. I think it took at least a few weeks for the sexual tension to kick in.”

“Fine. Fine. Still. They’ve been working together for at least a year now. I’m pretty sure they’re fucking. I’ve suspected for _months_.”

“I’m not buying it. As you said, they’re idiots. I don’t think they realize their sexual tension by now.”

“Well, I want to know your theory, then,  _Mr. Lannister_.”

Tyrion rolled his eyes. “It’s probably something sports related. These two are awfully competitive.”

“Sex is practically a sport,” Bronn protested. “I could see these two battling it out for dominance.”

“Ew. Bronn, don’t you have better things to do than imagining my brother have sex with his colleague?”

Bronn shrugged. “I like speculating.”

“You are _gross_.”

Bronn merely grinned at that. “Okay, if you’re so _sure_ with your theory, why don’t you bet on it?”

Tyrion smirked back. “Deal. Hundred stags. Me on sports related injury and you on sex injury.”

“And look,” Bronn said pointing at something behind Tyrion. “Podrick fookin’ Payne is here to settle our score.”

Sure enough, they see a nervous Pod approach them. Tyrion gave the lad a gentle smile, even though he _so_ badly wanted to ~~be proven right~~ know what the hell happened.

“So, Pod,” Tyrion asked. “How’s my brother and Brienne holding up?”

“They’re fine… o-other than the knees of c-course,” the boy answered.

“They were fucking, weren’t they?” Bronn interjected, causing the boy to blush and widen his eyes.

“N-no, Sir Bronn.”

“Perhaps they did intensive sport?” Tyrion asked, more calmly but just as eagerly.

“No, Mr. Lannister and Ms. Tarth haven’t even _begun_ their workout.”

Bronn and Tyrion looked at one another and sighed. Neither of them will be gaining money, but at least they didn’t lose it either.

“So what _did_ happen? You were there, weren’t you?” Tyrion asked, but then he noticed Pod biting his lip. Both men could see him suppress a smile.

“Sir Jaime tried to stand on his tiptoes behind Ms. Brienne but he did it so fast that he lost his balance and fell forward. Ms. Brienne wasn’t expecting it so she fell with him as well. Both of them landed on their left knee.”

By the time Podrick ended his story, he was fully grinning while the two men laughed.

“Payne! You spreading embarrassing stories of our near fatal incident?”

Suddenly, Pod panicked at the sound of that voice and began sputtering out apologies.

“Don't be dramatic, Jaime, and this is _still_   your fault.”

The three men turned to the voices and they found Jaime Lannister and Brienne Tarth limping with matching knee braces on their left leg.

“You know. Normal couples get matching jewelry or tattoos _not_ fookin’ leg braces!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hugs at my two poor babies with twinning injuries. Don't take matching BFF stuff so seriously you two. We already know you're BFFs XD


	171. Oedipus

People said that a man fell in love with someone who was like his mother.

Jaime had realized that his twisted relationship with his sister was a testament to that saying. He had been close to his mother and his closeness with Cersei allowed him to remember his mother. Her golden curls, green eyes, beautiful and delicate features preserved the memories of the parent dearest to his eight-year-old heart.

Brienne looked nothing like Joanna Lannister. She was ugly, broad, freckled. Her hair wasn’t even the right kind of blonde. Her eyes, though quite astonishing, was not the same green Joanna had.

But whenever Brienne touched him with gentleness or gave him a stern scolding, whenever he saw her being kind to the servants or standing up to stubborn lords (including himself), whenever he saw her kiss their blue-eyed babies or when she gives them her heartwarming smile, Jaime remembered Joanna clearer than he ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this didn't seem creepy lol but I do recall this from that one sem psychology class I took that you marry your parents xD
> 
> Anyway, I also recalled a discussion about how Jaime forgot his mom's face until he burned Cersei's letter. And I also do wonder where Jaime got his compassion from and I theorize that it could be an influence from his mom. I kinda like the idea that he was close to his mom. So I built ideas from that. Okay I should sssshhh now xD


	172. Lemon Cakes and Wolf Bread

Arya amusedly watched her friend, Brienne, trying to get between Jaime Lannister and Tormund Giantsbane. The diner was mostly full and Jaime and Tormund just _happened_ to be there. They had one seat available in their table and both men had arrived at the same time. Brienne, being the naturally courteous woman she was, dragged the two men outside before proceeding to chew their heads off.

Beside Arya, Sansa sighed dreamily. “Brienne is _so_ lucky. She has two guys fighting over her.”

Arya looked at her sister incredulously. “Seriously, Sansa? I thought after Joffrey and Ramsey, you’d learn by now.”

The red head flinched at the mention of those names but it didn’t stop her from arguing with her sister.

“But Arya! That’s different! Jaime and Tormund are clearly in love with Brienne. They’re not sadistic dicks. It must be nice to feel loved by two men.”

Arya cringed. “Not if you don’t like them.”

“But this is _Brienne._ She is great and she deserves all the love in the world!”

“Oh I definitely agree that she does.”

“So why don’t you want her to experience _aaaaalllll_ the _looooooooove_?” Sansa whined.

 _My poor sister can be such a slow learner_. Arya had to explain it some other way.

“Let’s look at it this way,” Arya began. “You think lemon cakes are the best.”

“Of course!”

“While I think Hotpie’s wolf bread is the best.”

Sansa snorted. “Gross. Keep telling yourself that.”

Arya smirked back. “I’ll ignore you ever said that but anyway, if, _theoretically_ , I think you’re the best sister in the world…”

“Finally coming to your senses?” Sansa teased,

“It’s just unfortunate Jon has a dick and Brienne isn’t related to us,” Arya replied drily. “Aaaaanywaaaay, so in this hypothetical situation, I would like to show my best…” Arya did a cough and muttered, _only_. “…sister how much I mean that. So because I think you deserve more than just your lemon cakes, I should give you wolf bread as well. Because wolf bread is the _best_!”

Sansa frowned. “Are you sure you love me in this hypothetical situation? You know I hate anything with raisins and wolf bread has raisins.”

“Exactly!” Arya exclaimed. “Sometimes, the best thing you want for someone you love is just what she wants. Brienne seems to think less of herself but her everything doesn’t have to _be_ everything.”

Sansa nodded in understanding and was silent for a while. They glanced outside once more and saw that Tormund had gone, leaving Brienne with Jaime.

“And who Brienne wanted has been evident since I saw them both,” Arya noted with a smile.

“I thought you _hated_ Jaime Lannister,” Sansa replied, but the grin on her face told that she approved.

“He’s like your lemon cakes—golden and disgusting,” Arya said, making a face and sticking out her tongue. “But he’s tolerable when Brienne’s with him. It’s amusing to see him fail at flirting, too.”

“You sure he’s not your wolf bread,” Sansa teased. “Looks nice but has some rather dark, hard-to-swallow bits.”

They watched as Jaime pouted and Brienne rolled her eyes but gave him a hug. Both girls couldn’t help but grin at how contented both blondes appeared in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Bonus additional part that I decided to cut because I like where the story cuts off here but my second fave ship in GoT and my inner fangirly matchmaker Sansa just calls me, too. So here:**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> “Soooo… since when did you become such an expert at love, Arya?”
> 
> The younger Stark glared at her sister then shrugged. “It’s not that hard to read people, Sansa.”
> 
> At that, Brienne returned to them, telling the girls that all was taken care of. Sansa and Arya had to smile knowingly at their friend’s blush as she recounted how Jaime was being awfully clingy and worried that now she has female friends, she won’t hang out with Jaime, her very first best friend, anymore.
> 
> Just then a man—very familiar to Arya—interrupted them to bring their orders. Arya could feel her heart quicken and her face heating up. She barely heard him give their orders until it was her turn, “And raisin wolf bread for m’lady.”
> 
> “I’m not a lady!” Arya automatically responded. Just why was _he_ here. Arya was certain his shift wasn’t right now. Still, her pride wouldn’t give in and glared at their server. The idiot’s smile didn’t falter though.
> 
> “Enjoy your meal, my lady.”
> 
> “Shut up, Gendry,” Arya snapped. Gendry merely walked away, laughing. As soon as he was back in the kitchen, Sansa let loose a loud squeal.
> 
> “O.M.G! Everyone around me is experiencing love!”
> 
> Brienne looked confused. “What?”
> 
> “Sansa, are-are you crying?” Arya asked in genuine concern.
> 
> Sansa wiped a tear. “No worries. Tears of joy. If I won’t find love, I’m glad you’re both experiencing it.”
> 
> “Sansa… w-what are you talking about?” Brienne stammered.
> 
> Arya shook her head.
> 
> “Just go with it, Brienne.”


	173. No Cutting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo idk how long your enrollment process takes but we have days when it takes us two days to enroll because of long lines xD

A strong virus had taken down the online enrollment for Kings Landing University. Much to the dismay of the students, they had to enroll manually, forming painstakingly long lines in various offices. Brienne, an incoming freshman, had ran from building to building, suffered in the unforgiving heat of Kings Landing, and currently getting sandwiched between two sweaty men—one of them a ginger who kept turning around to ask her five variations of practically the same question about the third step of the enrollment process. All Brienne could do was refrain herself from strangling this man. She couldn’t allow herself to be suspended before she could even get into school.

As Brienne was waiting in line, a glint of gold sailed past her. Out of instinct, she looked.

She was taken aback by how fine the man's body was. For a millisecond, her hormones lead her gaze down his ass. It was a great ass. Her appreciation for his backside, however, was short lived when the man talked to a girl seven people in front of Brienne.

“Hey Pia! Great timing. Listen. I’m in a hurry so, do you mind if I line in behind you?”

The girl—Pia—appeared to open her mouth and judging from her sparkling eyes, she was going to allow it.

But Brienne was having none of it.

“Hey asshole!” she screamed before she could even filter her mouth. “No cutting!”

That immediately drew attention to the man. Thank the Seven it was hot because she would have an excuse for her red face. The man’s face was even _finer_ than his ass. He may be a dick but the Seven totally made up for it in his looks.

His handsome face still won’t save him from her wrath or sense of justice though. Even if his cutting smile turned the temperature up to at least a few degrees and that every step he took toward her made her heart beat faster.

“I’ve never seen you around before. I’m pretty sure I’d remember a woman as tall as you scowling at everyone in campus.”

“If you think you can charm me to wave you away, you are mistaken.”

Brienne would not make the same mistake ever again, like with Renly or those stupid boys at her high school prom. Instead, she straightened herself and glared at him. The man’s smirk seemed to falter but Brienne barely caught it because he was smiling his infuriating smile once more.

“You see, _wench_. I have some place to be and—”

But Brienne cut him off. “We all have someplace to be, sir, and when are you from? Daenerys’ conquest?”

“No, but I happen to come from one of the oldest families from that time.” His smirk grew wider. “I’m Jaime Lannister. Perhaps you’ve heard of my father?”

Brienne was sweating now. He must be the son of Tywin Lannister, the headmaster of King’s Landing University. She had to think. She won’t allow that spoiled arrogant rich man to get his way, even as something as near inconsequential as a line.

Then it occurred to her.

“If you’re going to intimidate me, you’re going to have to do better than that.”

He raised his brow. “How so?”

“If indeed you are who you say you are, why would the son of the headmaster make his own son line up? In fact, I wonder why he was enrolling himself in the first place. I don’t think your high and mighty Lannister-ness would be trying to overtake this ugly Medieval Studies freshman if he was in his father's good graces. In fact, I doubt he'd even be lining up at all.”

The man, Jaime Lannister, dropped his jaw. It was Brienne’s turn to smirk now.

To her surprise, the people around her clapped. She hadn't realized how loud she had been until she saw every single person there, even those lining for other offices, clapping. She tried not to let the embarrassment get to her, instead she motioned her thumb over her shoulder. She thought he... Jaime... would be humiliated.

But he was simply smirking, seemingly impressed.

“Well-played, my lady.”

But just when Brienne thought he was about to leave, his lips hovered next to her ear. She fought the urge to shiver.

“If you _must_ know, my father has been angry at me for dropping my business course for medieval studies which I will now attend as a first year.”

 _Fuck_.

He broke away, giving her another shit-eating grin. “I’ll see you around, wench.”

“Stop calling me that!” Brienne retorted as he walked to the back of the line.

“I will if you give me your name.”

Brienne didn’t know just what possessed her but she turned around. To her surprise, he was standing not far from her, apparently waiting for her to… _what exactly._

“It’s Brienne,” she told him. “Brienne Tarth.”

He was still smiling but there was something soft about his smile.

“I hope we can be good friends then, _Lady Brienne_.”


	174. Be a Rebel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE 1/2 TODAY**
> 
>  
> 
> This is the sequel of chapter 173. That last sentence is also from the JB Vacay Wheel.
> 
> Aaaand Ruby, it was THIS one. XD

“I-it was the heat!”

In truth, it was the fault of her best friend’s blabbermouth but Brienne just _knew_ Jaime was going to turn that against her.

“Apologies for letting my hotness distract you.”

Just as predicted. She didn’t even have to say it.

He winked, too. He _fucking_ winked! The nerve… the audacity...

The rising temperature on her face agreed with him though.

“Theoretically, if it was you—which by the way isn’t—then I’m pretty sure it was your nonstop talking that was messing with me.”

Jaime’s smile didn’t falter. “I knew you’d eventually succumb to my charms, even if it took me four years of wooing.”

“If you counted stalking as wooing,” Brienne joked. If she really was disturbed with him scheduling his subjects the same as hers for the past four years, he would get a restraining order from her. Lannister name be damned.

“You were my best friend the moment you cast your moral standards upon me.”

Over the years, Brienne leaned that underneath the sharp smiles and even sharper wit, Jaime Lannister, had a kind heart.

Not that Brienne would ever tell him.

At least not right now when his huge ego dominated.

“Doesn’t matter. It happened. Let’s just go—”

“Now hold on a moment, wench,” he said, yanking her arm before she could walk away. Brienne tried to ignore the soaring temperatures of her face when she felt the gentle grip of his hand. “I was the reason—whether you admit it or not—why we lined up in the wrong line so allow my darker-than-your-pristine-white morals to sweet talk us into cutting into the last line. We technically still did our time waiting, so it’s not cheating.”

Brienne narrowed her eyes at him but he laughed. Gods! She loved his laugh. Brienne did all she could to keep herself from falling because her knees are jelly.

“Come on! It’s our last semester anyway and both of us have been working very hard. Be a rebel! Live dangerously for once, wench!”


	175. Bike Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **UPDATE 2/2 TODAY**
> 
> Inspired by a sort of Star Wars nostalgia commercial I vaguely saw some days ago.

“Oops. Sorry, Brienne.”

Brienne glared at Loras, knowing very well he wasn’t sorry. Renly had asked both of them to go biking with him and she and Loras had been trying to impress him with cool bike tricks. Brienne had obviously been the better biker and Loras hated it, so he pretended to lose control of his bike and crashed into her, causing Brienne to fall on her bike.

She was getting up to show him that she was alright but then pain shot through her leg and she crumpled back down to the ground.

“I-I hurt my ankle,” Brienne whimpered. Now that Brienne thought of it, her foot did get caught in something in her bike before she fell off.

Loras, at least, looked guilty. Renly parked his bike beside her and gave her a worried look.

“Do you want me to go and get someone?” he asked. Brienne’s heart fluttered. She wanted Loras to go do that while Renly stayed where she was. It would serve him right.

“You’re wasting time!”

Brienne had almost forgotten about Jaime who only very recently joined their biking adventures. Before she could protest to whatever was going to ruin any potential of spending quality time with Renly, Brienne was yanked up and her arm was slung around a neck, she tilted her head to the side a little and her face flamed.

She was cheek to cheek with Jaime Lannister—a frowning Jaime Lannister.

It was strange, Jaime almost never frowned. He was always smiling, even when he drove off bullies. At most, he would pout or pretend frown, but he never looked this serious.

Distracted, Brienne hadn’t realized that he was taking her to the backseat of his bike until Jaime sat her on it. He got on the driver’s seat and instructed Loras and Renly to take her bike home and inform her father he’s taking her to the hospital. She didn’t miss his anger when she told Loras that it was the least he could do. Jaime knew he’d done that on purpose.

“Jaime! I don’t need the hospital. It could just be a sprain.”

“I’m not taking any chances!” he replied as he kicked off the stand.

“B-but I’m too heavy!” Brienne protested. “I don’t wanna break your brand new bike!”

In fact, it was the initial reason Brienne had thought of when Jaime finally emerged from his home instead of going out only for school. He certainly did brag about his bike a lot. Then Renly had told her that his dad didn’t really like him playing outside.

“Then I’ll carry you to the hospital!” he replied.

“You’re not serious!”

Jaime was tall but he was still twelve and haven’t hit his growth spurt yet which made Brienne much taller than he was.

“I’m strong enough! Now, hold tight, freckles!”

Reluctantly, she fisted the fabric of the sides of his shirt but Jaime grabbed both her hands and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“D-don’t be an idiot, F-Freckles. Y-you’ll be safer this way.”

Decades later, Jaime would tell people this was the moment he fell in love with Brienne Tarth. Brienne, however, would jokingly tell people that she fell in love with Jaime a little later than that: when he used his Lannister name to intimidate the ER nurses to immediately attend to her sprain.


	176. Horn Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel(ish) to Chapter 163: Nidoran

Jaime should have never agreed to this Pokémon battle with Brienne when their respective Pokémon were named after one another.

Every time his screen showed **JAIME used HORN ATTACK!** and then the animation would have her Nidoking Jaime bump into his Nidoqueen Brienne, human Jaime’s _horn_ would twitch in his pants, hoping to bump against his currently winning best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nidoking and Nidoqueen and Horn Attack are all from Pokémon. JAB June is just inspirational (and yes, I used a Moonstone to finally evolve my Nidorino Jaime and Nidorina Brienne.)


	177. The Way He Looks at Her

When Jaime wouldn’t take his eyes off Brienne no matter how hard the women tried to get his attention, they just thought it was simply the magic of a great make-up artist and a fitting dress. But actually, Jaime had looked at Brienne like this for most of the five years they’ve known each other. He simply had that extra spark that day because after finally swallowing his fears and self-doubts to confess his feelings to his best friend, Brienne very shyly replied that she liked him, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because YO I wanna break the makeover trope. XD


	178. Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suddenly remembered that I wanted to write this before but forgot if I ever did but I'm too lazy to check so here ya go xD

"You cannot live without me, my brother, my twin, my other half," were Cersei's parting words to Jaime before she breathed her last.

Though he mourned for his sister, he wouldn't follow her. _Never_ _again_ , he thought as he found solace in Brienne's warm embrace.


	179. Kneeler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sorry hahahahaha

Tormund had been genuinely confused with Lady Sansa’s laughter when he told her that the first thing he’ll do once he had recovered was fuck the big woman. She told him that the woman—Bryn, Biren, Brian… he could never remember her name—already had her heart belong to another.

“You like to call us kneelers, Lord Giantsbane, and Brienne is simply the _kneeliest_ kneeler of them all,” said King Snow’s ginger-haired sister. Tormund didn’t believe it. The woman seemed to do what she wanted. After all, she was a woman warrior which, he was informed, was rare in the south.

He had later learned that she had married the Sisterfucker while Tormund was out of sorts but that wouldn’t stop him. Bern will be _his_. He was told that most of them southern marriages were merely out of convenience anyway so she probably doesn’t love the Sisterfucker. Based on the rumors, the man only ever fucked that woman in his life so he doubted he was very good. Tormund would be a much better lover than him.

One day, he saw Byren leaving the dining hall alone without the _husband_ in sight. Tormund thought this was the opportunity the old gods gave him to find her alone and properly show her what it’s like to be fucked. So, he followed her through various hallways, barely keeping up with her long, strong legs. At some point, he lost her in a crowd-filled hallway that blocked him and engulfed her.

Tormund tried to find her, even going outside, but the woman was hard to spot. Eventually, he gave up and made his way back inside until noises coming from the godswood caught his attention.

“You don’t have to,” a voice, very masculine, moaned.

“But I want to,” begged another, clearly a woman. “L-let me please you, husband.”

Not that Tormund would judge who they fuck but he will judge the man for not taking up a woman’s offer, his own wife’s nonetheless, especially if they could die in battle soon. He simply shook his head at the man’s foolishness and began heading back inside.

“Gods, _Brienne_!” the man screamed and Tormund chuckled.

It took about three steps until the wildling recognized the name. He rushed back, crashing through the godswood frantically and without a care. There he found his Beauty _kneeling_ for the Sisterfucker and holding his cock. Then the two froze as if the Night King himself hit them with his ice spear.

There was a high pitched whine and to Tormund’s surprise, it came from Beareanne. He couldn’t comprehend that his big warrior woman was capable of such a southern girlish squeak.

“I—” Brienne stuttered. “I’ll meet you in the chambers, l-lord husband.”

And she ran off, her face as red as the wine. Where was his strong confident warrior? His woman didn’t stutter or blush or meek. Why had she looked shy being caught, as if she were an innocent maid and not a married woman? Tormund refused to believe this was his Barin.

Sisterfucker— _Beautyfucker_ now, Tormund supposes—sighed as he quickly and haphazardly fixed his breeches. Tormund didn’t think he could properly tuck in that admittedly impressive cock with one hand.

“What?” Beautystealer barked at Tormund. “Go lick King Snow’s ass or something.”

Then he ran off calling her repeatedly, leaving Tormund alone in the godswood. He still hadn’t fathomed that the woman he had just witnessed was his Beauty or that she was into weak pretty southern cunts or that she was the _kneeliest_ _kneeler_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole Brienne being the kneeliest kneeler was so begging for this fic. ;D
> 
> Lick King Snow's ass was kind of a typo but I love it cause it's a cross of bootlicking and asskissing but funnier... I think? XD


	180. The Lost Bid

“Why so glum, wench? It’s not a happy birthday without a smile! You’ve were already scowling when you were born, don’t make a habit of it.”

Brienne proceeded to scowl further. She honestly tried to enjoy her little get together. She had a few friends and her dad and of course, Jaime, who didn’t order a feast worthy of a king’s ball for once since everybody decided that it would be a potluck this time but Jaime still bought her a beautiful, realistic Evenfall Hall cake with the greeting _Happy Birthday Wench!_ in bright blue icing.

All in all, it should’ve been a great birthday but she remembered the one birthday present she’d been saving up for the whole year that had slipped through her fingers.

“You still upset about the sword?”

Brienne snapped out of her thoughts. She hated that Jaime knew how to read her.

“Nobody makes replicas like those anymore,” she whined for the nth time. It may not be Valyrian steel like the original Oathkeeper but it was the closest to the quality and aesthetic of the steel.

“Why don’t we open your presents? Who knows? There might be something that could match the Oathkeeper replica in it.”

Brienne doubted that but she tried to keep her spirits up for her guests. Jaime led her to the living room, loudly announcing that it was time to give the gifts. Everybody gathered in the living room and began handing Brienne her presents.

Overall, the party was great, the people were great company, her presents were wonderful, and they simply laughed and talked until it got late and her guests had to leave, especially since it was in the middle of the week and they all had work the next day. She thanked each one of them, giving hugs and receiving cheek kisses in turn. Brienne tried to offer to drive her dad and his new girlfriend to the airport but he assured her that they were going to be fine. With a great bear hug from Selwyn and a strained cheek kiss from his girlfriend, the two hopped into the cab.

“Besides, sweetie, I’m pretty sure your _boyfriend_ has been dying to be alone with you,” Selwyn teased.

“Dad!” Brienne said, blushing.

The first time she’d introduced Jaime to him, he went into protective dad mode, thinking he was her boyfriend, but when she cleared the air, he’d sighed in relief. But overtime, Selwyn had made jokes about them being such a married couple. Jaime, the asshat that he was, went along with it and only the threat of bodily harm made him stop. Or at least give her physical space as he continued to mock flirt with her.

Brienne waved goodbye and huffed. She loved them all but the party greatly exhausted her. She was ready to kick back and relax and worry about cleaning later when she turned around and found Jaime standing in the threshold of her house. He looked so at home, leaning against the doorpost, almost as if she was coming home to him.

“Do you want a hug, too?” she joked, shoving the thought away.

“Only if I could kiss you back and not just your cheek,” he shot back and Brienne blushed. One reason why she didn’t like the jokes about her and Jaime as a couple was because it painfully reminded her of the stupid unrequited feelings she harbored for him that stubbornly wouldn’t go away.

“I’m surprised you didn’t give me something ridiculous like a bounce castle,” she said, changing the subject as they both went inside. Jaime actually got her a rather nice blue dress. Ever since she’d drunkenly confessed to him one time that she wanted to feel like a girl sometimes, he’d opened doors for her and pulled out chairs for her. She had to admit, it was nice.

It was still not helping her feelings though.

“Tempting but I figured one castle is enough. It did need a princess though.”

“Why did my cake say ‘wench’, then?”

“A princess _is_ a young woman and wench means a young woman, wench.”

Jaime was still teasing but there’s was an edge of uncertainty in it. He appeared anxious.

“Are you okay, Jaime? I told you not to drink more than two glasses,” she lightly admonished.

“I’m a Lannister, remember? But I’m fine. It’s just... I have something… for you.”

Before she could say anything, Jaime walked back to the living room. She simply followed. He reached for something on the couch. Before Brienne could ask, she saw the shape of the wrapped object and she could already tell what it was.

“I can assure you it’s not a mop,” he joked as he held it out to her.

The long slender object was wrapped in a blue and red velvet stitched with some yellows and whites. Brienne’s hands shook as she stroked the smooth cloth. She could already tell this was based on her ancient family sigil. That alone made Brienne’s breath shallow. It was only Jaime’s urging that made her peel off the velvet covering.

If she was already having difficulty breathing, the content of it actually stole her breath.

It was _the_ sword, the one she’d been upset about; the one she’d thought had fallen out of her grasp, forever out of reach. She knew swords and she was certain this was the very one she’d lost in the online bidding. It was there before her.

Yet her first reaction was, “You’re Goldenhand7?”

Jaime chuckled nervously. “You’re a tough buyer, SapphireBlue22, but I’m afraid this round goes to Lannister money.”

This was too much. She knew Jaime was rich but he really didn’t have to buy this expensive sword for her.

Suddenly, tears just sprang out of her eyes and she was uncontrollably bawling. She didn’t realize when Jaime had put down the sword but he suddenly had his arms wrapped around her. She buried her face in his shirt, forgetting that she was going to soak it. With the sword and his warm embrace, who could remember such a trivial thing?

“You, idiot. Are we going to be competing even in getting each other birthday presents?”

“Just get me a Ser Goldenhand potholder and I’ll be happy, wench.”

“You know I saved so much for that sword.”

“Are you complaining about getting something for free?”

She shook her head. “It was still a pretty expensive want that I could have gotten myself. You didn’t have to.”

“You know I’d do a lot for you, Brienne,” Jaime replied softly, in almost a whisper.

She would figure out his tone later. For now, she would content herself with Jaime’s arms around her, unknowing that his knees tried not to buckle at their proximity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to make a big deal but it's been four years since I turned legal now XD
> 
> The whole bidding idea was snatched from Wacky's [Drunk in Wenchland](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14048937/chapters/32360760) if I remember correctly. This was what my muse responded to when trying to think of something for this... ehhh occasion? XD I hope you don't mind if I snatched that idea, Wacky. :P


	181. Mating Season

Brienne had just finished setting up the picnic blanket when she turned around to see Jaime with that _look_ in his eyes. His gaze was a match that set fire to her whole body.

“Jaime! We just got here!” she protested yet her body sure didn’t when he tackled her on the picnic blanket and kissed her as if they’ve been apart for years. Normally, Brienne wouldn’t agree to such a sensual display in open air but they were in a small clearing on an elevated ground in the woods adequately surrounded by trees.

As Jaime began sucking down her neck, there were sounds coming from above Brienne that she barely heard until it got louder and higher, ringing in her ears. At about the same time, Jaime stopped his ministrations on her neck.

“Shoo! Go away!” Brienne heard Jaime say. Then, he stood up from his current position. Brienne merely sat up to see what the commotion was and there she found Jaime crouching down in front of the opening of a hollow log. He seemed to be scolding… a raccoon?

“This is our spot, raccoon. Scurry away somewhere else. My wench doesn’t like being watched when I make love to her.”

Brienne almost laughed but he wasn’t wrong. Even the thought of animals watching made her uneasy.

Then, the raccoon made angry noises and Brienne couldn’t stop her snort.

Even worse, Jaime responded, “Oh don’t get sassy with me. My wife and I barely have outdoor sex. Please give us privacy.”

At that, Brienne just outright laughed. She was so tempted to take out her phone to take a video and post it later as a documentary about animals getting territorial during mating season.

As Jaime and the raccoon continued to argued, Brienne noticed a movement next to the raccoon. A nose peeked out and Brienne saw it was another raccoon, probably its mate. Brienne wasn’t sure if she caught Jaime’s crazy but the raccoon mate seemed to eyeroll.

“Men and territories huh?”

Yep, she caught Jaime’s crazy.

The raccoon mate chittered in agreement.

Brienne was _definitely_ crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, ze raccoon fic.
> 
> It was based on a photo julieoftarth sent me of a raccoon looking angry while its mate looking like it's eye rolling. Cant post it because I'm on shitty mobile) I would have made JB as raccoons but muse wanted to do this instead: raccoons with JB's pepersonality probably.
> 
> Also, this is crack fic and arguing with raccoons are very dangerous. They are very territorial and will attack you. They have rabies, too. Yeah, I did a bit of research xD


	182. Heimlich Manoeuvre

Jaime and Brienne just got back from their nature hike vacation and the couple was ready to surround themselves the comforts of human innovations. But as soon as they loudly announced their arrival, their little Joanne’s footsteps were thundering on their floor. The eight-year-old raced toward her father and pulled at his hand.

“Daddy, daddy, you have to help!”

Jaime had to quickly shed his backpack on the floor as terrible scenarios flashed through his mind.

“Sansa!” he called the babysitter, thinking something had happened to her but the girl quickly replied.

He arrived at the kitchen that led to the backyard and saw the unharmed girl sitting on the bar.

“We’re fine,” she said. Sansa didn’t look like she was lying about it but she was clearly uncomfortable over something.

“Everything is not fine!” the eight-year-old protested. “Daddy, you have to look outside!”

Confused but still cautious, Jaime carefully made his way toward the glass sliding doors. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but better safe than sorry. When he finally had a whole view of the backyard, his temperature rose.

“ _Fu_ -dging raccoons!” Jaime exclaimed.

He _hated_ those things. He lost what Brienne had dubbed as the territorial battle between man and beast, but the raccoons had the advantage of being rabies carriers. Brienne convinced him to let it go, pack up and find another spot. They had no choice but to move to the place where most people rest and Jaime was cranky that he didn’t get to fuck his wife outdoors.

He was hoping they were done with raccoons but now there were two of them in _his_ territory.

And for the love of the Seven they were—

“The raccoon is hurt, daddy. Help him,” Joanna pleaded.

“Hurt?” Jaime asked his daughter.

“Remember when Uncle Bronn had food stuck in his throat when Aunt Lollys announced she was having a baby and you hugged him from behind? The raccoons have been doing that for so long already.”

 _Oh_ _great!_  First, he couldn’t fuck Brienne because he was in the raccoons’ territory but those entitled bastards think they could do that on his own home even befor he could get there? _Fucking_ _hypocrites_.

“I don’t want the raccoon to die, daddy,” Joanne whimpered with genuine concern. The Seven bless his daughter’s innocence.

“Sansa already called animal control,” Brienne informed him. From the corner of his eye, he saw Brienne pick their daughter up, comforting her that the raccoons were going to be fine. The scandalous activity happening in his backyard, reminding him terribly of what had _not_ went down at that clearing, and the soothing coo of his wife’s voice beside him was giving him an awkward situation below.

 _Fucking_   _raccoons!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, when I was searching about raccoons for the earlier ficlet, the search results I had when I searched for "raccoons mating" was nearly a whole page of videos of raccoons mating in the first page xD In one of the results was legit a kid thinking that raccoons mating was a raccoon doing a heimlich maneuver on the other raccoon and I knew I just HAD to fic it xD


	183. Familiar Stirrings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it seems familiar, I already posted this on JBO.
> 
> This is Canonverse- Dragonpit BTW.

One look at Brienne and Jaime felt a familiar stirring between his legs that was thankfully covered by layers of armor.  
  
Still, he was paranoid and instinctively turned to Cersei. His cock deflated at the sight of those wildfire eyes.  
  
It only came alive again when Brienne touched his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JAB-ing JB show scenes should be a thing. XD


	184. Sexting

**Jaime:** R u wearing any underwear wecnh? ;)

 **Brienne** : No, because you forgot to wash the clothes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on this [tweet](https://twitter.com/galahxds/status/978393975223615490). I swear this whole thread is pretty funny XD


	185. Love Letter

Jaime was miserable, angry, and bitter after losing his right hand. The only reason Jaime kept attending therapy sessions to train his left hand was so that he could write a legible letter, pouring out every ounce of his feelings for his best friend and the love of his life, Brienne.


	186. Anatomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is totally cracky, I swear. And I hope I got the basic functions of human anatomy right.

Being Jaime Lannister’s cock, he didn’t only rely on the clinical function of the man’s heart in order to rise to the occasion. The organ pumped the blood necessary for it to do so, but the figurative function of the beating mass of tissues that the sentimental humans assigned it triggered the stirrings. The cock was merely the puppet of the blood pumper and the fat (literally) king sitting on the cerebrospinal fluid throne, like a messenger riding through the night to deliver a knight’s love letter to his lady. (Although in this case, the messenger was the one that needed to be ridden in order for the message to come across.)

His idiot human didn’t understand though.

Even if the heart (well, it was his mind, _technically_ ) had been sending Jaime blood and hormones whenever a specific tall blonde female specimen with blue eyes was within his proximity, he chose to ignore it or tell himself that it was just natural for this to happen to a man without _provocation_. Well, he wasn’t wrong, but really? Every single _fucking time_ the woman blinked her pretty blue eyes at him, a letter written in red ink, metaphorically speaking, would surge through him and his stupid human would dismiss it as _nothing_.

The upstairs need to get their shit together.

Then again, the poor penis couldn’t understand what was going on with the big boss long ago anyway. (Like _why_ he had to be acquainted with the insides of the sister. He was just a dick but he vaguely recalled some genetic issues with such a union. Eh, what did a dick know? He’s just doing his job like every other body part.)

Still, dick heard great rumors about the new woman. She was strong yet gentle, the arms proclaimed. Even the eyes who used to rant endlessly about how much of an eyesore she was suddenly wrote ballads about _her_ eyes. Dick felt like an outsider, hearing all these wonderful things about the new woman. The only one he could relate with was the lips. All they’ve known was the sister and they felt like they’re missing out on something special. They lament about it and bitch about what a mess it was up north.

North.

North.

It was trouble happening in the north, a place outside their fleshy kingdom, which caused a shift of perspective in his superiors. They felt it in the earthquake that tremored through every cell and tissue inside Jaime Lannister’s body. The ominous quakes getting stronger each word the sister spewed out of her mouth.

That was _finally_ the end of the sister erections and general confusion. Despite the horse and the harsh cold, warmth flooded Jaime’s manhood.

Making sure his stupid boss won’t forget, he pointed north, where the blue-eyed warrior wench—as lips called her— that their head (pardon the pun) had wanted for so long was staying.

* * *

The tingles that the lips sent downward to his friend was screaming with excitement.

_‘Oh fuck, she’s good.’_

_‘There must be an eighth heaven.’_

_‘Buuuuddddyyyyyyy, you’re going to love her!’_

_‘Shit fuck, hello tongue.’_

Jaime Lannister's cock did his job as usual, springing into action because the boss required it of him. Then her large hand grabbed him and gods be good! If that hand was the ninth heaven, what new level of heaven must her cunt be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if I used modern terminologies on what was seemed like a canonverse fic but I hope I made the setting vague enough at least.


	187. Barren

"Seven Hells! Brienne, you _can't_  be barren!"

"Just because I look like a man and have an irregular period due to sports, it does not mean I'm barren!"

"Oh, hey. You're here, Bri. Sorry. I didn't mean you. I was searching how to breed a Nidoqueen and Nidoking but apparently Nidoqueens cannot be bred with and the only way to breed little Nidorans is to breed them with a Ditto."

"Didn't you name your Ditto after that famous impersonator, Jaquen?"

"I know! Lovely man but I don't swing that way."

"You could catch and raise another male Nidoran, without a name perhaps--why are you even insisting on the names--and breed it with...uhmm... Jaquen." 

"But I want to have babies _with_ _you_!"

"What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward ways to confess your feelings xD ~~Seriously, what is up with Pokémon that makes me want to write it in a miniseries?~~
> 
> A Ditto is a pink blob Pokémon that can shape shift. And yes, I named mine Jaquen for obvious reasons. XD
> 
> And yes, the breeding of the Nidoran I mentioned is legit. I couldn't breed my Pokémon!JB it was frustrating! I just wanted JB babies. D:


	188. Height Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the last day of JAB June, I'm gonna do a sort of throwback. XD
> 
> So remember that old fic I had that was a one shot then I tried to turn it into a multichapter and failed? Well, I'm not continuing it *cue sad violins* but I set this drabble on that universe because a scene just popped in my head.

Brienne never thought Jaime Lannister would get even more childish and annoying but he did.

“Ha! I am _finally_ taller than you!” the idiot exclaimed. “Without tippy toes, too!”

She rolled her eyes. “No, you’re not,” she shot back drily.

“Just accept your inferior height, Brienne. I am on the top of the world!”

“Technically this isn’t my height, or have you forgotten our situation?”

She knew he didn’t. In fact, his childish glee was an indication he remembered all too well.

“I don’t know why you hide this body, Brienne,” he said, veering off topic. “This is amazing! I mean _look_ at these legs.”

If Brienne were herself, she’d have blushed. Instead, she was stuck in a man’s body. Not just any body, no. Jaime Lannister’s body. With her more masculine features, she’d have thought being in a man’s body wouldn’t feel too different but it did.

She scratched the hairy _thing_ on her new chiseled jaw. She had been too preoccupied researching solutions to her current predicament to realize that the usually well-trimmed beard had grown rather wild.

Ironically, Jaime, who was in her body in turn, seemed to be having fun being in her ugly ungainly body. She was certain Jaime’s compliments about her legs were a joke. They were freckly, pale, and hard with muscle.

But that didn’t stop her _newest_ body part from reacting. Brienne crossed her legs.

“I’m wearing heels,” he suddenly declared, scouring through the shoes at the bottom of her closet.

“Do you even know how to walk in those?”

Brienne had experience in wearing them and could more or less walk in it, but she didn’t wear it for obvious reasons.

“Nope—ah, here we are!” He held out a pair of black four-inch heels. She didn’t even know why she still kept that, much less buy it. Margaery must have drugged her that day she bought that. “I’m gonna learn because your legs will look absolutely fantastic in them.”

Brienne’s pants became tighter. She hated being a man. Hoping to calm down, she watched with great amusement as Jaime struggled to put the shoes on while standing.

“Maybe try sitting down while putting it on?” she suggested.

Since there was nowhere else to sit, Jaime decided to sit beside her. Very close to her. With a smirk, he put on the shoes. It wasn’t that hard to put on because they were Velcro instead of buckles. After he put both shoes on, Jaime wiggled his fingers over it in a dorky gesture of magic. Brienne cringed seeing herself act like the child Jaime Lannister is.

“Putting on the shoes is one thing. Standing is fine as well. But walking is an entirely different matter.” Brienne said, standing up. “I don’t wanna be uglier than I already am Lannister.”

Jaime pouted. “Come on, wench! It couldn’t possibly be that hard.” He stood up, shakily in Brienne’s opinion. “See?”

He took one step though and his foot jerked, sending him to fall forward on his face. Brienne was quick to catch him.

“Idiot, I told you to be careful,” she muttered. She was bracing for his witty come back but when she looked at him, he was silent and wide-eyed. They may have been her unsightly face and blue eyes but she recognized that look he was doing. It was a Jaime look. One that stirred her in her belly and the one she could never read.

“You never told me to do that. You just told me you didn’t want to look uglier.”

Typical Jaime sass but the smile he gave her was strained. He was blushing, too. Who knew she’d ever see Jaime Lannister blush. Even if it was not technically _him_ physically.

“Well, be careful,” Brienne replied almost quietly.

Brienne should have let him go but she was curious about that look he was giving her.

“You know what. I miss being shorter than you. When we get back to our bodies, can you rock these heels for me?”

Something about the way he said it burned her—from her face, down her throat, and it traveled lower and lower and lower...

Brienne pushed him away before he could feel her predicament. She ran out of the room for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's my old switcheroo fic. XD


	189. Fighting Her Battles

Rumors were already flying around Winterfell when Jaime and Brienne arrived together, apparently married. _The Kingslayer must be desperate to secure an alliance with the families he’d wronged. As if fucking some ugly woman would kille the rumors of his affair with his sister. Poor lady, taken advantage of by a Lannister._

The rumors got almost convincing when Tormund, who recently recovered from his injuries, sparred with the warrior lady as a demonstration to showcase the clashing two different fighting styles. The wildling openly made lewd remarks throughout the match while Jaime remained stone faced as he witnessed it.

Beside Jaime was a baffled Tyrion. They still hadn’t talked much. With the White Walker army coming, they barely had time to salvage the little love they have left for each other. They barely even saw each other, save for important meetings, so Tyrion mostly had to rely on rumors.

When Lady Sansa had asked for his help on inventory for the soldiers’ weapons, Tyrion saw a chance to be with his brother and shed some light on the rumors of his new relationship.

So far, he was not understanding much.

“Brother, do you not think the wildling’s remarks on your lady wife are… rude?”

Then Tyrion saw it, the clench of his jaw. He knew that expression. He’d seen it whenever Robert entertained a whore in front of Cersei. _Gods, the rumors were wrong_. His brother indeed loved this woman. This was more than a mere alliance and definitely not an attempt to squash the stories of incest. Jaime was utterly in love with this woman.

Who knew a day would come when his brother would turn his eyes away from Cersei and towards someone so unlike their sweet sister.

But why wasn’t he doing anything? Lady Brienne wasn’t just a woman Jaime loved. She was his wife. He was free to defend her. People might be surprised, yes, but nobody would hold it against him much.

“She told me not to make a scene,” Jaime replied without leaving his eyes at the demonstration. “I tried to punch him the first time I had the _pleasure_ to meet him but she told me it’s not worth it.” Suddenly, Jaime gave a small smile. “My lady doesn’t like me fighting her battles for her.”

Tyrion shook his head fondly. _Lannisters and their weakness for women_.

“Besides,” Jaime continued. “If I believe she can take down a bear, she could take down a slightly more intelligent bearfucker just fine. She’s well-armed this time as well, so she has no need for me.”

Before Tyrion could ask what he meant, the crowd cheered. He turned to the yard and saw the wildling on his knees, groaning and clutching his crotch. Lady Brienne was red and scowling. Her blue eyes shone with fury as she stomped her way toward them. Podrick, ever dutiful, rushed to the lady and exchanged the ordinary steel sword for her Valyrian steel sword.

A _Lannister_ steel sword.

His brother was _whipped_ long before the fool even realized it.

“Come here and give your Queen of Love and Beauty a kiss, my knight.” Jaime teased her.

Lady Brienne relaxed at that, despite her rolling her eyes, then shyly complied with Jaime’s request. Amazing how this woman went from confident to meek in a snap.

After their kiss (which lasted too uncomfortably long in Tyrion’s opinion), Jaime turned back to the yard, yelling, “Mess with my lady knight again and she’ll cut off your cock, instead!”

“What did we talk about?” Brienne hissed.

“Apologies, wife,” Jaime muttered.

Tyrion chuckled. He liked this one. If Jaime was going to slave himself over a woman, he was glad it was Lady Brienne.


	190. The Popsicle

As soon as Brienne started licking her popsicle, Jaime’s pants tightened.

It only got tighter and tighter from then on as Brienne showcased different ways to enjoy the frozen dessert. She licked it up and down, swiped her tongue at the top, licking the melted juice threatening to drip at the bottom.

When Brienne engulfed the entire thing, Jaime thought he was going to explode.

She slowly slid the popsicle out of her mouth and Jaime was praying as he had never prayed before. At the head... _top_ — _fuck Jaime don’t make comparisons_ —of the popsicle, Brienne paused.

Jaime wasn’t sure if his cock was grateful or terrified when Brienne bit off the top half.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea wasn't originally mine. I saw it on a comic from the Percy Jackson fandom that my friend sent me months ago so I don't know where to find it anymore lol.
> 
> And yes. More JAB because JAB never stops, right? ;)


	191. Poisoned Thorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, my obsession with Brienne being both a lady and a knight XD

Brienne had long accepted that she wasn’t a conventional woman.

She didn’t bat an eyelid when people would mistake her for a man. She didn’t bother squashing people’s womanly expectations of her anymore, knowing it was useless. The thorns, that had once stung her, hardened around her and protected her until they became her armor. She absorbed their assumptions until it outwardly became her identity. In the long run, the large mannish persona had brought her some semblance of respect more than when she tried being a woman anyway. As long as they didn’t mess with her duty, she didn’t care what they whisper behind her back.

Jaime Lannister had been no different.

At least, in the beginning.

He struck barbs at her like everyone who only bothered judging her for her appearance. Then Brienne discovered too late that the Kingslayer’s thorns had been poisoned.

It must have been!

For one, it hurt. She hadn’t felt hurt at people’s jibes in a long time. Jaime’s cruel words had been no different from everyone else’s but she could feel the pain spreading throughout her body.

Secondly, her armor was melting away. The identity she had created to protect herself became a puddle at her feet, making her feel naked.

Despite Jaime giving her a sword to fight with, she felt like he gave her a priceless necklace. Despite Jaime giving her armor, she felt like he gave her a dress to twirl around the ballroom with. Despite Jaime giving her a knightly quest, she felt like he was asking her hand in marriage.

He was treating her like a knight but she felt like a maiden. She couldn’t be both, could she? She couldn’t possibly be both.

Jaime Lannister, she concluded, wasn’t a poisoned thorn to her side. He was a sword through her heart.


	192. A Father's Fears

Despite the wishes of his advisors, Selwyn chose to let his daughter go. He’d reasoned to them that she would eventually be disheartened by the horrors of the mainland and would go back to the safety of the island and become the lady she had to be. In fact, Selwyn fervently wished that would be the case, but he knew his Brienne. She was stubborn to a fault.

Selwyn didn’t expect her to come home at all.

…….

Rumors from the mainland reached Tarth about his daughter’s whereabouts—killing Renly, sworn to the Starks, _fucking_ Jaime Lannister. The only thing he was certain about is that they were conflicting. He wouldn’t believe his girl capable of killing the man she loved and seeking refuge from the Starks.

And fucking the Kingslayer?

He woke up from nightmares of his daughter being brutally violated by the Lannisters. Guilt ate him every night.

…….

Selwyn couldn’t hold back his tears when he saw his daughter get off the ship. Instead of running toward her to give her a huge embrace, he stilled. She’d aged significantly, clearly no longer his naïve girl running to fight for the man she loved, but it wasn’t what shocked him.

Brienne was huge— _heavy_ with child. She held on to her swollen belly as a handsome blond man helped her down the boat. She briefly glared at the blond man before turning to her father. For a moment, he’d feared what he’d see in those once innocent blue eyes but when their identical gazes met, all he saw was happiness that he’d never seen in her even as a child.

…….

Warrior. Hero. Lady. Wife. Mother.

Despite the fears that plagued Selwyn for years, he was relieved that he’d indeed made the right decision in letting Brienne go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, if I were Selwyn hearing about the whole Kingslayer's whore thing, I'd probably think of the worst scenario for my child.


	193. Spam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Ruby. XD
> 
> Warning for Text Speak and Teen Speak and Maybe a Jaime being OOC XD

**Jaime:** Freckles, u wouldn’t BELIEVE what just happened 2day. Som ass named Ron whatevs came n2 the office & guess hu came n2 the convo?

 **Jaime:** Guess who also bitchslapped a bitch?

 **Jaime:** Ur welcome BTW, wenchie. :P <3

 **Jaime:** Ok. So Joff came in 2day  & I know hes my nephew & all bt maaaaaan, it was hilarious seeing him choke on a pie. Mar gear y Tyrell managed to hand him a glass of water tho, probs 2 d dismay of every person hed evr had contacted with... maybe except Cersei.

 **Jaime:** Tyrion walked n on Tywin pooping. I DIED LAUGHING.

 **Jaime** : I walked n on Pia and Peck. I CANNOT UNSEE.

 **Jaime:** Ur such a busy woman. I should probs resign as CEO  & give u the position. It’ll spite father 2.

 **Jaime:** BRIENNE R U OK?

 **Jaime:** TALK TO ME. DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG?

 **Jaime:** WENCH????

 **Jaime:** WENCHIE????

 **Jaime:** BLUUUUUUE???

 **Jaime:** BRI???

 **Jaime:** BRI BRI MY BABE???

 **Jaime:** BRIENNE????

 **Jaime:** WHATEVER I DID. I’M SORRY.

 **Jaime:** I PROMISE NOT TO CALL U STUPID NAMES.

 **Jaime:** OR TELL GROSS HAPPENINGS.

 **Jaime:** PLS BRIENNE I PROMISE NOT TO TEXT LIKE MYRCELLA IF U JUST ANSWER ME.

 **Jaime:** R U UPSET ABT THE RON THING???? HE WAS AN ASS  & DESREVED PROSHETIC BICHTSALP.

 **Jaime:** BRIENNE PLS TXT BACK

 **Jaime:** CALL ME

 **Jaime:** ANYTHING

 **Jaime:** PLS

 **Jaime:** OHMIGOSH BRIENNE R U DEAD?

 **Jaime:** BRIENNE PLS.

 **Jaime:** I CANT LIVE WITHOUT U

 **Jaime:** BRIIIIIIIIIIII

 **Jaime:** BRIENNE TARTH DON’T DO THIS TO ME

 **Jaime:** I LOVE YOU

 **Jaime:** AND I MEAN IT. I’M NOT BEING FAKE FLIRTY.

 **Jaime:** NOT THAT I WAS EVER FAKE FLIRTY BUT U THINK IM FAKE FLIRTY BT IM RL FLIRTING.

 **Jaime:** :’( </3

 **Jaime:** </3 </3

 **Jaime:** I hope ur happy  & safe wherever u r. :’(

 **Brienne:** Sorry, Jaime. There was something wrong with my phone and needed to have it fixed. Tech said they could retrieve the messages that came in while I couldn't turn on my phone and I’ll read them soon.

 **Brienne:** SEVEN HELLS JAIME CALM DOWN. I’VE ONLY BEEN GONE FOR TWO DAYS. I’M NOT DEAD.

 **Brienne:** Jaime?

 **Brienne:** <3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear Rubes. I wasn't as dramatic as Jaime. XD


	194. A Voice from Heaven

Jaime was surprised to find his coworker, Brienne, on stage. He was even more shocked to find out she was going to sing. When the mellow intro notes of a familiar love song started to play, an insult was at the tip of his tongue.

As soon as Brienne hit the first note, he stopped breathing as if he was physically hit hard on the chest.

As soon as those astonishingly expressive blue eyes briefly turned on him, his heart rapidly beat as if the lyrics of love was dedicated to him.

As soon as she belted the high notes, his soul soared as if her voice lifted his spirit to the skies.

As soon as the song ended, Jaime wanted to fall down on his knees and worship her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My headcanon will forever be Brienne being a great singer. XD


	195. Fantasies

Brienne had long accepted that she was hopelessly in love with Jaime Lannister.

He’d plagued her thoughts daily. Her dreams, the one place where Renly was actually hers, had been invaded by Jaime lately. Instead of feeling a soft hand against her palm, it was a calloused one. Instead of black hair being swept by Tarth’s sea breeze, it was golden. Instead of blue eyes twinkling up at her, they were green.

She hated the feeling but she’d grown to accept it.

What Brienne didn’t understand though was how different her dreams had become ever since Jaime resided in her heart.

It had begun like her dreams with Renly often did. They were walking along the shores of Tarth, hand-in-hand. He’d lift her hand and kiss it before they sat down on the sand, feeling the waves lap at their feet. Then he’d embrace her as they looked out the horizon.

But since the lead mummer of her nightly escapades had been replaced, the following scenes became different… _more scorching_. Just when they’d sit on the sandy shore, Jaime would tackle her on the ground and his hot mouth would be upon hers. The kissing was always vague because Brienne didn’t really know how to kiss in real life, but she could feel her whole body turn to fire.

The next thing she knew was they were both naked, in the baths of Harrenhal. Instead of Jaime being only half a corpse and half a god, he completely looked like a god. She didn’t know why but her hand landed on his chest and slowly sliding them downwards, feeling his hard muscles along the way.

Brienne always woke up once her fingers brushed the patch of hair beneath his navel.

Her eyes would shoot open. All the remnants of having touched Jaime’s bare skin fled, leaving her with nothing but a burning need that greatly confused her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'd be kinda interesting if Brienne's fantasies with Renly would be innocent but when Jaime came along, they become smut. XD


	196. An Apple a Day

They said that an apple a day kept the doctor away but it was due to eating an apple that caused him to meet Dr. Brienne Tarth--who became Dr. Brienne Lannister five years after he dramatically entered her office, clutching his stomach as if he'd been stabbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An apple that day kept Jaime chained to a doctor for life xD


	197. Blue Dye

“Tyrion!”

 _Fuck_. Jaime’s scream was ringing in his ears, just one of his standard hangover consequences. He was quite surprised his brother was able to even scream. He'd seen him drunk before and Jaime had always been so out of it that he would do something and forgot about it the next day, totally blaming Tyrion for whatever the regrettable fuck (taken literally sometimes) he had done.

“Whatever the fuck you're going to accuse me of doing, can it wait later?” Tyrion groaned.

“No, it can’t,” Jaime growled. Tyrion cracked open his eyes and found his brother standing at the end of the couch, almost naked if it weren’t for the boxers he wore.

“What happened to you?” Tyrion asked, seeing his body smudged with blue in certain places. It was especially concentrated near his boxers.

“You fucking tell _me_ ,” Jaime hissed. “I just woke up in the bathtub like this. Did you fucking take advantage of my inebriated state to play a fucking prank on me?”

 _Typical_. “Gods, Jaime. I would have never touched _your_ goods.”

“There are plenty of other women and perhaps some men who would definitely take the opportunity.”

“Please. I’m clearly the more charming one between the two of us, brother,” Tyrion joked but he was racking his brain for answers. He was an alcoholic but he was a high functioning alcoholic, which meant he could remember everything that happened… eventually.

“And why blue anyway?” Jaime continued. “I thought you’d go for something more outrageous like pink.”

And that was when Tyrion remembered.

“You were upset,” the younger Lannister said.

“What?”

“Apparently, a—I quote— _stupid stubborn wench_ didn’t want to go with you here.”

Tyrion remembered it now. Jaime had been crying while downing drink after drink. He was whining about how _the wench_ was so guarded and _judgy_ when he was trying to be nice.

“And about approximately the third bottle, you kept asking around for some blue hair dye, and by some miracle, somebody actually had one and you went to the bathroom to spray it on your crotch.”

“Why didn’t you stop me?” Jaime hissed.

“Well, it’s not spray paint on your dick right?”

Jaime groaned. “Why the Seven Hells would I do that anyway and what did that have to do with Brienne?”

Tyrion had had enough of this. He had to listen to him whine all night and his idiot brother seriously had no clue why. Tyrion threw a nearby throw pillow at his big brother, even though he knew he only had the strength for it to land on his own feet.

“Because you wanted to match her eyes, my dumb, absolutely smitten brother.”

Jaime looked like he wanted to protest but the bulge in his boxers confirmed Tyrion's words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure there was a dye fic somewhere I just couldn't remember lol.


	198. Inside the Playhouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look non smut or boner related bwahahahahaha

Ever since the story about Ser Goldenhand and Lady Blueknight, all the toy swords were being fought over. The swords’ usual users were nowhere to be found. The worried septa looked for them and hoped that they weren’t crying somewhere or worse—getting into some trouble for the sake of genuine knightly adventures.

Much to her surprise however, she found the two inside the playhouse where the girls (who were in the jungle gym pretending to be princesses to be rescued) usually resided. What shocked the septa even more though was that both of them were playing with a doll. Through the window, the septa saw the profile of the blonde girl at the end of the table while the blond boy’s back was covering the lower half of the doll.  _Just what are these two up to_?

“That’s  _not_  how you do it, Brienne!” the boy scolded his best friend, crossing his arms over his chest. Septa Donyse was quite certain he was pouting, too. She was quite familiar with the boy’s pout.

“Fine!  _You_  do it then, Jaime,” the blonde girl replied, crossing her arms as well. She seemed to be taking out her frustration by glaring at the doll.  The septa wished she could take a closer look, to know what they were arguing about but she didn’t want to alert them to her presence.

Then, the boy answered her question.

“What kind of girl doesn’t know how to change a nappy?”

Septa Donyse had to hold her snort.

The girl, never one to back down from the boy’s jibes, retorted, “What kind of boy  _does_?”

“I have a little brother,” the boy explained. “He poops a lot but I always help put on the diaper after the nanny powders his butt.”

The girl’s expression quickly dampened. Her pretty eyes looked shining. “I don’t have a little brother or sister remember?” the girl muttered. Her sisters were stillborn and her mother followed the girls soon after, so siblings were still a sore subject for her.

Before the septa could step in to comfort the girl, the panicked boy was quick to pull her into his arms.

“No… no… Brienne. D-don’t cry. I-I promise that when we finally buy our baby from the hospital I will be the one who will wipe her gross poop.”

Septa Donyse could have sworn her blood sugar levels went higher.

The boy hugged her for a few seconds longer before breaking away. Then he began instructing her on how to properly put on the diaper—in case he wouldn’t be there, he said.

The septa may not really know much about married life but the sparkle of the girl’s blue eyes and the redness of her face showed the look of a girl who just found the boy she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made Alysanne and Arianne twins. XD


	199. Paint and Glitter

When Brienne volunteered to help with the renaissance fair fund raiser event, she’d hoped to spend more time with Renly, helping him with making invitations, bouquets, and sashes for the male and female representatives of the companies that gave the biggest donations for the said event—Robert Baratheon and Cersei Lannister.

Instead, she was stuck in the stage design committee, covered in paint and glitter, with Jaime Lannister who currently had her pinned to the back of the stage and kissing the life out of her.


	200. Two Hundred Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed my drabble-versary on the 16th but here it is anyway.
> 
> ~~I know I usually say this but I really didn't bother proofreading and editing this because I was not in the mood at all but I hope this wasn't too bad.~~

The red-haired little lady hated going to those balls. She didn’t hate wearing a dress or doing girly things but she hated how everybody smiled and said one thing to one’s face and said another behind one’s back. She also hated how most still disapproved of her learning the sword. The girl thought it was even more stupid not to learn to defend yourself.

She crinkled her nose as she looked at the castle overlooking the sea. It was a shame that she was surrounded by all that beauty but where she was headed was the most unappealing part of the scenery.

“You know this is necessary,” the lady’s septa sighed. As much as she hated going, she was glad her kind and understanding septa was with her. Still, the little girl frowned deeply.

“Don’t be like that, m’lady,” the septa chided. “Don’t you know you are headed to the home of your favorite hero?”

The girl’s green eyes widened in surprise. “Brienne the Blue? She lived here? I thought she lived in Casterly Rock?”

“Yes. Lady Brienne Lannister _of Tarth_. She lived in Casterly Rock, yes, but she spent her childhood in the Sapphire Isle.” The septa sighed. “Didn’t you read up on your history about Tarth?”

In truth, the girl didn’t. She hated reading and the boring facts such as family houses and sigils and their seats. The letters always danced. But she knew about how Brienne the Beauty fought with a fiery sword. Most people said that she wasn’t a great example to a lady but how could the little lady not love her? She was a hero in the Long Night.

“Well, I’m going to read about it once we get to the castle,” the girl declared. “Do they have a library? You can help me read.”

“Of course,” the septa replied with her kind smile.

“What else can you tell me about the lady?” the girl replied.

“Aside from your favorite stories? Not much. You would find it rather boring I’m afraid. There were a few skirmishes during her time as lady and even if they were any, she fought alongside her soldiers a lot. Everybody respected her, especially her husband. The Stormlands and Westerlands have yet to see another lady just like her.”

“Did she die fighting though?”

“She died during her sleep at the age of seventy. Some moons after her own lord husband perished.”

The little lady tried to protest that it couldn’t possibly be real but the carriage stopped. She knew they had arrived. The septa and little lady went off the carriage. As soon as the little lady saw her mother, nobody could stop her from running toward her.

The mother picked up her child and cooed, “My little pearl.”

“Mother, septa was just telling me about Brienne the Blue.”

“What about her did you ask?”

“Septa said she died in her sleep after her husband died.”

“She did. She loved her husband very much. They had nearly a dozen children together and her husband didn’t have any bastards since he wed her either.”

“That many?”

“Yes. A lot of highborns were able to have a marriage alliance with both Lannister and Tarth because of that. In fact, you have some Tarth and Lannister blood in you.”

The little lady gasped. “But I’m of Dorne, mother.”

“After two hundred years since the end of the Long Night and nearly a dozen children from an adventurous warrior lord and lady, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have descendants as far as YiTi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to you all who read and kudos and comment (even attempt to kudos again XD). I can't believe it's been two years since I started this collection. I'm not the best writer but I'm proud to have made a lot of you smile (or sad bwaahahahahha). Honestly, your support means a lot to me. <3 <3 Here's to 300 next year? If I don't die jk XD


	201. Uglier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look. Book-canon. XD

When Jaime first met Brienne, her face was already way below plain. Now, her facial scars made her even uglier than before.

But Jaime was even more in love with Brienne than he ever was before.


	202. The First Time

The first time had been awkward.

Chorusing with their moans of pleasure were mumbled apologies.

Brienne had no experience. Jaime felt like he was fucking for the first time.

Brienne didn't understand she was climaxing with his fingers inside. Jaime embarrassingly spilled himself as soon as his cock was inside her.

But they knew they will get better at it. What mattered was they were together.


	203. Dying

"What are you doing?"

"Dying."

"No, you're not. The doctor said your fractured arm will heal in a month."

"But I can't draw for a _month_ , Brienne! I'm literally dying!"

"You'll recover! Then we'll take revenge."

"We?"

"Yes. Together, Jaime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this *points to self* idiot tried to taekwondo and broke her arm and have to wear a cast for a month....probably xD


	204. Four Seasons

"Believe me, brother. I'm happy that your love for Cersei is as dead as an autumn leaf and I would love nothing but to parade my new favorite sister around our rather vile one but could you and Lady Brienne stop smiling and touching like summer children? At least while we're still in council worrying about our winter troubles. Just a few hours then you two can go back to fucking away like rabbits in spring."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Braime Bunch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559675) by [Isola_Caramella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isola_Caramella/pseuds/Isola_Caramella)




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